Bite to Break Skin
by Jillian Landers
Summary: There is a fate for Bella Swan that is beyond everyone's control- even Edward Cullen's- unless he can agree to allow her to be changed. AU/OOC. Repost.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Life has been… complicated over the past two years. I pulled this story because I was unable to finish it among other issues. To put it simply, I was facing harassment which had nothing to do with the fandom but had bled into this world anyway. I tried to stay away but found that I missed it too much. More on that and what I've been up to and working on at a later date. This story? Finished. And I'm thrilled to be able to share it with you after so long.

While I may have the time to repost the story, I don't have the time to beta the previously-posted chapters. Posting schedule? Probably twice a week. Not sure. If you know me, you know that I'm not the most disciplined person. We'll see. Expect it to happen regularly though.

Take care and enjoy the read!

**Bite to Break Skin**

**Prologue**

**Bella**

I can't remember a time when Edward wasn't a part of my life. My memories and my imagination seem to run together these days. I have these dreams of Edward from when I was little. Although I was no more than five or six, he is the exact same age, the exact same Edward. In my dreams, nothing about him is different, he hasn't changed one bit. I had these dreams for years, years before I met him. It wasn't until we came face to face just before my seventeenth birthday that I even knew for sure that it was Edward.

Edward liked to say that sometimes when two souls are so deeply connected, our hearts fabricate memories. I used to love to hear him tell me how it worked for him.

I've always known you, Bella, I've always loved you. Even before you were born, even before we met, my heart knew of you and my body and mind had to be patient, I had to wait for you. And time dragged on. I have a theory—our subconscious will fabricate experiences in order to make that time spent without our other half less meaningless.

I wish I could say that I believe his theory, but I don't really. There's something he's hiding from me and I only wish I knew what it was. The more I investigate, the more muddled my memories become. I have these flashes of being little and leaping into his arms, laughing. In these memories, he is in my bedroom at Nana Marie's, and he tells me stories about vampires. Of course I know my mind is betraying me and these memories could not possibly be accurate. Edward avoided me for years, there is no way he ever willingly told me vampire stories; but there is one memory that I cannot shake no matter how hard I try.

I am something around six years of age and Edward is—well, Edward is of course, seventeen. It seems he has always been, and I know he will always be seventeen. One day I won't be seventeen and yet, he will never age. It's a painful thought—growing old while he doesn't. And though the idea pains me greatly, Edward refuses to change me. He has every reason imaginable to make me into what he is but he won't do it, and he won't allow anyone else to, either. Edward has promised to tear each one of them apart before they had a chance to change me—even Alice. These memories, or rather, dreams, remind me that I am not ageless and that I will wrinkle, they remind me that what we have now, will have to end. One way or another, this will all end.

In this memory—this dream—we are in my bedroom in my old house. Seated in my grandmother's rocking chair, Edward rocks back and forth with the sounds of the music playing on my tiny princess-themed record player. A child's toy that came with children's records, but this one, this record, Edward brought with him. I hear the enchanted melody in my head and while I sleep, but I can't place it. I am no good with identifying music anyhow. As best a description I can give is say that it sounds both tragic and eternal—like Edward himself. In my memory—this dream—I know the piece well and I am following along, humming the notes. For the most part, Edward sits and watches me as I prance around the room in my cream nightgown and ballet slippers.

Just before the dream can end I look over at Edward and smile at him. I ask him if knows what awaits me in the years to come… and just that way.

"Edward, what awaits me in the years to come, do you know?"

A dream... it must be. What six year old phrases her sentences that way? As I wait for his answer I dance over to him, plopping on the trunk at the foot of my bed, now facing him and sitting still. He draws in a long unnecessary breath and tells me that he does know what awaits me. As the dream continues, I physically feel myself nervous and curious all at the same time.

My little six year old body is barely able to handle the tension. Edward slowly parts his lips and he speaks.

"You're going to live happily ever after, Bella. From now until your final breath, I will make sure of it."

I giggle and tilt my head sideways

"When I get big like you, will you marry me?"

He raises his eyebrows and lets out a slight chuckle and makes a face at me, trying to convince me that I don't actually want to marry him. If he only knew.

"But my darling little Bella, I will be so old by then. Wrinkly and grouchy. I will no longer have my boyish charms to entertain you with. You do not want to marry me, my darling."

I pout, crossing my arms across my little chest.

"Do not sulk Bella, little girls do not sulk."

I wrinkle my nose at him

"But I'm no little girl, I'm a vampire. You said so yourself, Edward. You also said that as a vampire you will not age."

He puts his head in his hands and leans forward, cradling it.

"So I did, love. I will make you a promise."

He lifts his head, leans forward and extends his arm to me. I reach out and grab hold as he propels my tiny body onto his lap.

"If, when you're all grown up and no longer a little girl—"

I frown, giving him a warning look as to correct him

"… when you're no longer a little vampire and you've grown into a beautiful adult… vampire… nothing would please me more than be betrothed to you, my love."

I smile at him and push him into promising me. Edward contends that it was merely a dream, a terribly vivid dream, and nothing more. Contrary to common sense, I still hold out hope that it was more than a dream, that it were true. And as the memories of those nights grow stronger, I find myself doubting his theory more and more, though I still cannot make sense of any of it.

**Bite to Break Skin**

**Chapter One**

**Bella**

"Bella Cullen."

I stand tall, looking at the cherub-faced boy before me, extend my right hand for him to shake and smile brightly. I really am happy to finally make his acquaintance. His blond hair, pink cheeks and baby blue eyes excite me: all so very cute, all so very average, all so very human. The boy before me who has introduced himself as Mike Newton is perfectly average and mortal and I can't help but blush at my excitement over it all.

Mike leans in and gives my extended hand a gentle shake. His hands are rough and not at all pleasant to the touch, but the warmth of his skin and clamminess that transfers from his hand to mine is wonderfully welcomed. The smile on his face is wide, brightly exposing his beautifully flawed, human smile. I notice that his teeth, though white for a mortal, are ever-so slightly tinted yellow. I'm being a bit of a hypocrite as my own teeth are ever-so slightly yellowed. The faint yellow tint is not a sign of bad hygiene or poor dental care; it merely serves as another reminder that I am a mortal; an average human living amongst gods and goddesses.

After a long pause, Mike releases my hand with a sudden jerk backwards and takes an infinitesimal step away from me. I sigh. I don't even have to see which one of them it is to know that it's Emmett. My bright smile fades to a look of defeat as I dumbly search for something to occupy my hands. I look at Mike's face again and see his unease clouding his face. Emmett's footsteps grow louder as he approaches, a show he is putting on for the humans. A man of his stature makes noise even if a vampire of his stature does not. I nearly speak before thinking and free Mike, knowing that's what he wants, but I catch myself before doing so. I want to get to know this boy, and to do that, he is going to have to at least acknowledge my family. I turn around and sure enough, Emmett is less than five feet from us and growing closer every second. I don't smile at Emmett and his usual bright smile fades as he looks at me apologetically. He knows he's intimidated Mike and it wasn't his intention.

From the corner of my eye I can see Mike is about to bolt, so without putting any thought to it, my right hand, still bearing a slight sweat from our handshake, reaches for the sleeve of his letterman's jacket and holds him in place. I don't have time to survey his reaction. Emmett comes up beside me and I feel a slight tug on the sleeve, but my resolve is steady—Mike is meeting Emmett whether he likes it or not. I plaster a phony smile on my face that Emmett knows all too well and smile brightly at my adopted brother.

"Emmy!"

I grin and allow myself to mentally giggle at using my private nickname for Emmett so publicly. Thankfully, he does not seem fazed by this.

"I'd like you to meet Mike Newton." I turn to Mike who looks like he's about to break a sweat or pass out—I'm not entirely sure which, and I smile forcefully at him, daring him to run. Turning my attention back to Emmett, I finish the introduction,

"Mike, this is my brother, Emmett."

Emmett smiles politely at Mike and nods his head.

"Hey, Mike. It's nice to meet you."

Mike lets out an audible gulp before he collects himself.

"Hi, Emmett. Nice to meet you too, man."

Emmett grins at me, forcing a blush to my cheeks. He knows exactly what I'm thinking. Ever the gentleman, Emmett excuses himself and continues down the hall towards his next class.

Once Emmett is away I release Mike's jacket from my clutches and smile sheepishly at him.

"Sorry about that, I wanted you to meet my brother."

Mike nods and blushes, obviously embarrassed at being caught trying to bolt. We begin walking together to our next class, biology, but I think it's going to be weird between us now. I think he's going to distance himself from me after seeing Emmett. After all, that has been the protocol since I moved in with the Cullens. Mortal friends are something of a rarity in my life, and though I've mostly accepted having the only beating heart in my family, I still sometimes desperately wish everything and everyone could just be normal.

Snapping me from my thoughts, Mike clears his throat as we enter the biology classroom. I take my assigned seat at the lab table, closest to the window, two rows back from the front, nestled in the "C" section of the alphabetized seating arrangement and I huff. I have no lab partner and have no idea why Mr. Banner can't just team me up with someone… anyone. At least if I had a lab partner, a human being would be forced to interact with me.

I look to the front of the room to see Mike engaged in a conversation with Mr. Banner, our biology teacher. They're both speaking so low that I doubt many others can hear the conversation. Mike is adamant about something and if I strained my ears I'm sure I could hear him, though I don't try. Eavesdropping is not something I am tolerant of. Living in a house with five vampires who all have a super-sonic-vampire senses of smell, hearing, and eye sight leaves little room for a mere mortals privacy. I decided a long time ago that I would not be like them in that way, even if they can't help it, it's still intrusive and rude. Remembering how it feels to have your privacy invaded, I put my head down on the table to block out any curiosity I might have about the discussion going on up front.

A loud thump sounds on the table beside me and I swing my head up to see Mike smiling at me as he takes the seat reserved for my non-existent lab partner and begins to shuffle his books around the table. I look at him quizzically.

"I convinced Banner that he should let me be your lab partner since you're new here and your lab partner still hasn't made an appearance yet."

I smile at him and my face heats up, and his baby blue eyes get that much bluer, or at least, I imagine they do. Mr. Banner had reserved the space beside me for a mysterious student who's yet to register with Forks High. The space is reserved for either Alice or Edward, though the appearance of either is highly unlikely. Still, in every class and every school where I am in need of a partner, Carlisle finagles it so the space is reserved for one of my mysterious siblings who is not well but is, hopefully, expected to make an appearance in the school year. This is information I don't share with my classmates, not even Mike. The Cullen's are a strange enough family without me adding fuel to the fire.

"So… Emmett is your brother?"

Mike seems somewhat uneasy about his own question. I just smile and nod my head.

"Is he like, your biological brother or something? I mean, you two don't look alike."

I laugh quietly. I'm well aware that we don't look alike. Vampires typically don't look like humans. I shake my head.

"No, it's just that I truly think of him as my brother. Adopted or not."

Mike nods, accepting my answer.

"Are you related to any of _them_?"

_Them_ he says… and he says it so casually but it holds so much truth. I shake my head again.

"Rosalie is Jasper's older sister and Alice is Edward's cousin, but Emmett and I are not related to any of them."

I say it as casually as Mike does and hope Mr. Banner begins the day's lesson before Mike can continue his line of questioning. Carlisle has explained to me time and time again that being the most approachable Cullen, I'm bound to get the brunt of the inquiries and how important it is to answer the questions before any eyebrows are raised. So I do. Every time someone asks, I answer. Carlisle says that my patience is a virtue even if I am in the middle of screaming my lungs out at the frustration of answering the same damn questions the same damn way day after day. He is just happy that I wait until I'm home to throw a tantrum and Emmett doesn't have to swing me over his shoulder and carry me home himself.

"So how did Dr. and Mrs. Cullen procure all of you, then? And where are the other two you mentioned?"

_Procure? Seriously, Mike?_

I fight back the urge to roll my eyes and remind myself that I like this boy and I will play nice.

"Carlisle and Esme both grew up in foster care and they know not many people want to adopt a teenager."

I shrug like it's no big thing they're doing, although to the humans, it is a very big thing indeed.

"With Rosalie and Jasper and Alice and Edward it was like a packaged deal, you get one, you get the other… so that's how they _procured_ four teenagers as opposed to two. And when Carlisle went to treat me in New York, Emmett was in the same hospital as I was. Another foster kid."

I don't want to get much further into our constructed history, though I have to if I want him to stop asking questions.

"So, long story short… Emmett and I met in the hospital and my grandma and Esme became very good friends during my treatment... and when she could no longer care for me, the Cullen's adopted me. But by that time, Emmett and I were a packaged deal, too."

I smile at Mike, praying to God that if I can possibly give him my best flirty face, he'll drop the inquires, but no such luck.

Mike pauses, mulling over my responses and then he notices I didn't answer the second part of his question. So I cut him off before he can ask it again. Some days I'm not sure which is worse, answering the damn questions or hearing them being asked.

"Edward and Alice still see some of their biological family. Their grandma is ill right now so they're in Chicago staying with her until she recovers."

Mike goes to open his mouth again, eyes alight with another question and before I can cringe, run for the door, or ask a question about him, Mr. Banner clears his throat and begins the day's lesson.

_Thank you, Mr. Banner._

Mike mumbles a rude, nearly inaudible comment about interruptions under his breath and opens his books. I do the same and resign myself to the fact that Mike will surely pick up today's discussion tomorrow.

We remain silent for the rest of the class and I take notes furiously on the topic at hand, though I can't remember what the topic at hand is. Mostly, I'm just acting as a model student to avoid answering anymore questions Mike may have. When the bell rings to excuse us from class, Mike reminds me that we have P.E. together to round out the day. I smile at him, forcing myself to forget the recent conversation and focus on the fact that I really do want to get to know this boy. I nod my head in acquiescence that we'll be walking to the gym together, pack up my belongings and we head for the door.

On the way to the gym I start asking Mike about his family and other miscellaneous questions I typically wouldn't be so nosey about. Mike's parents are deceased and he lives with his grandfather who is a recluse and nobody ever really sees. Mike's grandfather has lived in Forks for his entire life and until he grew too old to educate Mike himself, Mike was home schooled. This is his first year at Forks High, so at least my family is not the only new addition to this tiny town and even tinier school. I nod politely at the appropriate times, noticing how well-adjusted he seems for a boy who's been through so much. Then again, who am I to talk? I'm an orphan who lives with vampires and so far I'm not in need of too much time on a therapists couch.

We part ways for our gender-designated locker rooms and are, thankfully, not reunited back on the gym floor. I search the gym to find Jasper across the room talking to another boy in our class, Tyler, I believe his name is. Jasper looks up to me and I smile at my brother. God bless Tyler, he's one of the few humans who approaches a Cullen. Jasper seems excited by the exchange taking place. He only recently became comfortable enough in a public setting to really chat with humans and he quickly found that they typically avoided him whether he was open to conversation or not. Seeing Jasper smile while talking to Tyler makes me smile and I decide immediately that I like Tyler.

Coach Clapp splits up the students alphabetically by last name and the A through M students are assigned to the left side of the gym while the N-Z students are assigned the right, each with their own net for two simultaneous volleyball games. I take my position in the back of the court and smile widely at Jasper who's on the other side of the net playing opposite me. Tomorrow I might be disappointed at Coach Clapp's methods, but today I'm silently thanking him for the break.

Gym drags on and on as I stand in the back of the court and avoid the volleyball at all costs. Thankfully my classmates are now aware of my extreme lack of coordination and they do their best to keep the ball away from me. Jessica Stanley and Angela Webber are two girls in my class who always take the same position on the court, right in front of me, and together, they block me from the ball. Neither has taken a moment to speak to me or even introduce themselves, but they're adamant about keeping the ball out of my reach—today, I will thank them for their efforts though I know they're only doing it to keep themselves and everyone else safe. I smirk to myself at the thought. Two human girls think they're keeping the gym safe from me while Jasper, the reformed vampire vigilante, stands center court and appears harmless as a fly.

_Humans, they can be so dense._

And the moment I have this thought I have to remind myself that I too, am a human. A feeling of inadequacy is washed over me momentarily before Jasper senses my shift in mood and spreads a feeling of calm over me.

_Bless you, Jasper!_

"Alright, hit the locker rooms and get out of here! I'll see everyone tomorrow for another thrilling round of volleyball!" Coach Clapp's gruff voice echoes in the gym, bouncing off the raised ceilings and wooden bleachers as he excuses us for the day.

I walk back to the locker room without giving anyone a second glance and change as quickly as I can. I figure if I change quickly enough then I can find Angela and Jessica and thank them for their valiant efforts. I throw my gym clothes in my locker, and snap the combination lock shut, swivel the dial and walk off. I'm eyeing the locker room furiously before I find the girls at the other end. I step over backpacks, strewn about clothing and avoid a few pointed glares as I approach them. Jessica, with her dark brown, curly hair, is trying to free a curl from a tangled mess on the side of her head. Angela reaches over to help her and both girls laugh at the predicament. I clear my throat to get their attention and when they look over, both look as though a train is speeding towards them and their lives are in peril. I give them a small, uncomfortable smile.

"Hi, I'm Bella Cullen,"

I stammer. Angela is quick to correct her look of horror as she gives me a sincere smile and extends her hand to shake. I do the same and then extend my hand to Jessica who, after a long pause, accepts my hand as well. They each introduce themselves and we all laugh at the awkwardness of the situation.

"I just wanted to say thanks, or uh—thanks on behalf of everyone else - for, you know, keeping me away from the ball."

I nod after my own statement, hoping they respond well to the joke, and thankfully, they do. Both girls are kind and friendly enough, considering they're being forced into conversation with a Cullen. I decide to give them a break and excuse myself for the long walk to the parking lot. I exit the locker room to see Jasper standing to the side waiting for me. I give him a genuine smile and when I reach him we begin our journey towards Emmett's Jeep Wrangler.

"Is everything alright, Bella?"

Jasper uses his soothing voice and I roll my eyes.

"Shouldn't I be asking you the same thing?"

I look up at him to see his furrowed brow, but I don't say anything. I let him think on that for a good, long moment before the look on his face tells me he understands the depth of my question.

"She's coming home soon, and I am doing just fine. A little separation is good for the soul every now and then, don't you think?"

I scoff at him. I might be inclined to believe him if it weren't such a grand production every time Alice returns home from her travels. Over the years Alice has gone off on one expedition after another, whether it is vampiric or fashion related and returns home about once a month for the weekend. I don't understand why she stays away but she tells me that she has trouble sticking to one spot and enjoys the travel. I know she's full of crap but I don't argue. What I don't understand is why Jasper stays here with the rest of us. After Alice has been gone for a few weeks, Jasper becomes somewhat morose though he tries to hide it, I can always tell.

I miss Alice and I wish she would stay with us, I wish she would go to school with me. Hell, I miss Alice so much, at this point I even wish she would dress me. I laugh at my own desperation as I look to my clothes. Torn jeans, old black and white low-top Chuck Taylor's and an all-black hooded sweatshirt. Alice would have a heart attack, had her heart still pumped blood, if she saw me in this get up. The last time she visited I had to beg Emmett to hide half of my clothes from her so she wouldn't throw them away when she caught sight of them. In fact, every month when she visits, I beg and plead with somebody to hide them for me. I've gotten every member of the family to aide me in my efforts except for Rosalie. When I asked her she just told me my clothes looked like shit and needed to be thrown away. I think I'm just lucky she didn't rat me out to Alice.

"Bella?"

I look up to Jasper who's eyeing my cautiously. He places a hand on my back and rubs gently.

"I miss her too, ya know. But this is just what Alice does. She's an explorer. It would be unfair of me to ask her to live a life she does not want."

I cock an eyebrow at him and continue to walk, refusing to look at where I'm going. Jasper is guiding me and will notice any obstructions in my path before I trip. I have no need to look at what I'm doing so I continue to stare him down.

"Bullshit."

I grumble low enough so that only he can hear me. We go 'round and 'round about this every couple of weeks and have so for the past few years, ever since Alice and Edward began their explorations.

I understand why Edward won't stick around; it's because of me. He doesn't like me, doesn't like a human living in such close proximity to him, and he doesn't like how everyone's lives are compromised by my mortality.

_As if I don't feel guilty enough,_ _thanks, Edward_.

It's been years since I've seen Edward face to face, if ever. Every time I've seen him, he moves so quickly I wouldn't even be aware that he's in the room had somebody not told me. I know he comes to visit the others a few times a year, but he always does so when I'm either not home or he flat out avoids me.

_Jerk._

Esme tells me how devastatingly handsome and kind and caring Edward is every chance she gets. But I don't believe her. He won't even greet me or show himself to me, and after years of this treatment I've come to accept that Esme is blinded with a mother's love.

We reach Emmett's Jeep and he and Rosalie are already waiting on us. I hear her mutter something about stupid, slow humans and I know she's referring to me. I look pointedly at her as she sits in the front passenger seat and raise my left eyebrow daring her to say it to my face. She glares at me and her eyes darken.

"You're getting brave."

Rosalie says with venom metaphorically flowing from her lips and I chuckle as I climb into the backseat behind Emmett.

"At this point, Rosalie, I've decided that you'll either eat me or you won't. Nothing I do or don't do will change that."

Emmett and Jasper both laugh as Rosalie turns to look forward, choosing to ignore me for days to come, I'm sure. I can tell she misses the fear I used to feel in her presence.

_Oh well._

The drive home is silent. I have nothing to say, Emmett won't dare say anything while Rosalie is still seething, and Jasper is unfortunately absorbing all our attitudes at once. Emmett pulls up the nearly covered drive that leads up the hill to the house. I can feel Jasper's mood shift immediately.

_Alice is home._

I force myself to remain still and not shout to the tree's how excited I am. Emmett rounds the Jeep through the shrouded drive and the house comes into view. We're met by a spotless silver Volvo. I let out a loud huff which earns me laughs from all the occupants of the car, including Rosalie. I think she dislikes the stupid, shiny Volvo owner more than I do. The car belongs to Edward. I'm tempted to give it a swift kick before making it into the house. At least then he might face me. Perhaps I can deflate a tire.

_Ah yes, I'll deflate a tire._

I grin to myself knowing that Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie have no idea what I'm planning. Only Alice would know if I were completely resolved to actually deflate the tire. Until then she would have no clue. I must keep my resolve wavering to avoid being caught.

Emmett parks the Jeep and they each hop out effortlessly, but Jasper waits and extends his arm to help me out. One time I rode in Emmett's Jeep and upon exiting, I fell, busted the skin on my forehead open and bled profusely. Jasper almost ate me and since then, he ensures I exit safely. He doesn't want me to fall and bleed.

"What, you're not hungry today?"

He rolls his eyes at my poor excuse for a joke and I grin widely at him. Jasper doesn't think it's funny when I tease him about eating me. What he fails to understand is that being the only human amongst a family of vampires, my life is in danger every day and I can either joke about it or send myself to the mental institution. I choose humor. I take Jasper's hand and make the leap to the gravel below.

When I'm steady on my feet Jasper releases me and zooms in the house not wasting another moment to see his precious Alice. I notice that I'm alone out here as Emmett and Rosalie are also already in the house. I walk to the house and frown at the silver Volvo as I pass, giving it a swift kick to one of the tires.

I hear Edward's velvet voice groaning from his third floor bedroom. He's watching me. I turn my head up to his bedroom window and like a small child; I stick my tongue out at him, well aware that he can see me. He's smirking at my childish behavior. I can't see him but I know what he's doing. I know more about Edward than he thinks. I don't dare tell anyone what I know. I don't dare tell them I can feel his presence and where he is when he's close. I already think I'm crazy and I'm sure I've taken my theories on his elusive behavior much too far and have spent more than enough time mulling this over.

I walk up the steps to the front porch and through the opened front door to be greeted by one of my favorite images. _Alice._ Hanging there in Jasper's marble arms, Alice has her head rested on his shoulder, arms wrapped around his neck and I just know, if she could, she would be crying. I can't see Jasper's face from the foyer where I'm standing but I know he looks completely content and whole, the same look I see mirrored on Alice's face.

I smile as the tears escape my lids and I can't see anyone else in the room for a moment; but I pull myself together to survey the room before me. Carlisle has his arms wrapped around Esme's petite frame and beside them are Emmett and Rosalie in much the same pose. Seeing everyone—well, almost everyone, together in the same room brings me a temporary twinge of joy; and then I see it. I see a family not quite whole.

_He_ is missing, and I'm once again filled with thoughts of deflating a tire—no, deflating _all_ his tires. I miss Alice when she's away, which is most of the time. She's my best friend and I never feel as comfortable as when she is with me. I know what Jasper is missing having her away, and I wonder if _he_ is the reason Alice stays away. I wonder if she is keeping Edward company. _The jackass. _I let a small sob escape me and before I can blink Alice is engulfing me in her arms, crushing my frail human body and cutting off my oxygen. I can't speak and I can't move as Alice has my arms pinned to my sides.

Esme notices my predicament and in all likelihood, I'm turning an undesirable shade of puce.

"Alice. _Gentle._"

Esme's words flow from her in a manner that can only come from a mother. Her voice is soft but her words are commanding. Alice releases me at once and holds me at arm's length and looks me up and down, studying my attire.

_Goodbye, clothes!_

I can practically see the wheels turning in her little head and I smile.

"We can go shopping tomorrow after school, Alice."

She looks up at me, her eyes nearly black, and she grins. Alice needs to hunt. I'm still beaming and I don't want to let her go but the thirst must be painful for her right now, being so close to me.

"Alice, go hunt. I'll be here when you return."

She sighs and nods. I'm right and she knows it so she lets me go and takes Jasper's hand as they walk away from me at a painfully slow, human speed. They reach the backdoor and Alice turns to look at me. She's shaking her head.

"Isabella Marie—do _not_ deflate Edward's tires."

And just like that, they're out the backdoor of the house, and moving so quickly I follow their trail merely by the gust of wind they leave in their wake. Emmett lets out a booming laugh and Rosalie rolls her eyes.

"If you deflate the tires, I'll just have to re-inflate them."

Rosalie is eyeing me as a warning that I shouldn't go through with my plan; and just like Alice and Jasper, she and Emmett exit the room at a vampire speed my mortal eyes can't follow. I let my gaze fall on Carlisle and Esme as they're doing their best to collectively hide the chuckle dying to escape from behind their lips. I sigh, defeated, and head up the stairs to my third floor bedroom.

I reach the third floor landing and follow the hall as it neatly tucks itself around the outline of the staircase below. I pass the library on my right. The door is wide open and I quickly scan the room. I know _he_ is not in there, but my curiosity forces me to check anyhow. The only other two rooms on this floor belong to me and Edward. Esme had given me one of the most secluded rooms to downplay any concerns I or the others may have about humans and vampires cohabitating. I'm thankful for it, because it's not just vampires I'm cohabitating with, it's couples. They all think they're quiet but they're not. Though I do not like to think about it, I have learned a lot about who they are intimately just by hearing them at night.

Rosalie and Emmett have a very physical relationship, and while Rosalie appears to be a complete hard ass to the rest of us, alone with Emmett, she's really just a vulnerable woman, healing from a broken past. I love Rosalie even if I sometimes ponder snipping off her blonde locks when she's rude to me—which is often. I could never go through with it though, aside from the fact that she could crush me with her pinky finger, her hair would never grow back, and for that, I would be eternally guilty, well, guilty until she crushes me with her pinky finger. Carlisle and Esme are, for all intents and purposes, my father and mother. They are always so sweet and kind to one another, in and out of their bedroom. I fantasize that one day I'll have a love like theirs. I reach the end of the hall and peer at Edward's door, directly across from mine. I lean against my door which lines the same wall as the library and I listen. Edward is listening to Claire De Lune on his stereo, _again_. Though he is rarely home, well, rarely home that I know of, he favors Claire De Lune. I wonder how many decades he's repeated this same piece. He alternates between this and an un-named piece which is positively soothing.

As I stare at the crack under his door, I see his shadow moving towards me. My body freezes and I'm terribly nervous that he is going to finally show himself. I've been a Cullen for nearly four years now and all this time he has remained hidden from me. I can accept that he doesn't want a relationship with me, but would it really kill him—er, kill me, for him to at least face me? The shadow stops at the closed door and remains still. I take in a deep breath and I can smell him. He is sweet and inviting, delicious even. So mouth watering, so Edward. I greedily continue to take in his scent and I quietly call to him.

"Edward…"

My plea is half a request for attention and half a declaration of his incredible scent. I hear him mutter something at lightning speed from behind the closed door and seconds later it's Carlisle's voice I hear.

"Homework, Bella."

I know better than to stand here and drink his scent in. He does not like it, and really, I do not care, though having others know is quite embarrassing. So I turn around and go into my room and shut the door behind me so that I'm not tempted to walk across the hall and rifle through his room. One way or another, Edward Cullen is going to be the death of me. I pull out my books with every intention of getting straight to my homework, but I can't concentrate. My mind is elsewhere and my thoughts are scattered. Before I realize it, I find that my mind is searching for way to get Edward to face me. It's been damn long enough and I've grown tired of his antics. I decide that putting myself in danger is the only true way to force him to face me as he'll have to save me. I look around my room as if for inspiration and my attention focuses on the glass wall before me, and the large, floor to ceiling sliding glass door that is masked to appear immobile, but I know for a fact, it is mobile.

"Carlisle!"

I hear Edward's rich and velvet voice shouting, nearly panicked, and he follows with more vampire-speed mumbling.

"Secure her glass door!"

_Oh, shit._

His voice has adopted a hard edge to it that I've never heard before. Alice must have had a vision and the nosey bastard intercepted it. I feel a mix of emotions at once—I'm flustered and embarrassed and I feel defeated. With all their vampire qualities, my human qualities are no match for even one of them, let alone a mind reader and his psychic sister. At least I can be thankful that he claims to be unable to read my mind; If he could, I doubt he would be very happy as right now my inner self is parading around with a giant sign that says _'Fuck you, Edward Cullen!_'


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Well, there's been quite a delay between reposting, hasn't there? Sorry about that. I wish it weren't so but it seems that every time I get one step ahead something happens and I end up three steps behind. So here you go—enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I don't own the characters—but I do own Edward's groans and Bella's bitching. That shit's all mine.

**Bite to Break Skin**

**Chapter Two**

**Bella**

Just as my inner self is proudly flashing her "fuck you" sign to all who can see, which is no one, I hear Edward groan from across the hall and I wonder what his problem is. I find myself wanting to know _why_ he insists upon groaning at an audible level. He's a vampire for Pete's sake—he could do that shit silently if he wanted to. But he doesn't, and it makes me think he _wants_ me to hear him. This is the most ridiculous situation on the planet. My adopted vampire brother won't face me but makes himself known. He could easily speak quietly, he could easily wear headphones when listening to music, he could easily just not come home.

But that's it.

_Home._

This is his home as much as it is mine and I have no right to ask him to be invisible in his own home. _Or do I?_ I sigh to myself. This is the same conversation I have in my head every time he comes home. This same conversation will have the same result. When I grow tired of stewing over it, I'll decide he's just nuts and be done with it. But, I already know Edward is nuts, and a couple years back I stopped trying to figure out why.

_Maybe it's the loneliness. I doubt I would be sane after decades of solitude._

As I sit, staring at my open book with my mind elsewhere, I decide this is getting my nowhere. I put my head down and focus back on my homework, but it's no use. After the resentment fades with one of his visits, I always feel sorry for Edward. I can't even comprehend the loneliness he must feel—especially surrounded by three perfectly paired couples. Hell, sometimes even I feel lonely in this house and my time here pales in comparison to his.

I let my mind run away with itself—pondering Edward's emotional issues is far more compelling than my biology homework. Edward is the closest to my age, if we're talking biologically, as he's only seventeen, even if he is chronologically a hundred and something. I begin to think about my upcoming birthday, and curiosity strikes me. I must ask Alice if he's ever had a girlfriend. I wonder how many girls he's kissed. I wonder… I wonder if he's a virgin. I don't have friends outside of the family, though I am looking to change that, and I have no one to talk to about these things besides Alice.

I'm the only virgin in the house, unless by some miracle or pathetic twist of fate Edward is, too. I've never had a boyfriend, nor have I ever been kissed. Living with vampires, even if humans don't know they're vampires, has its pitfalls as humans naturally shy away from them. I might as well be one of them since Mike Newton is the only boy who has ever attempted to strike up a conversation with me. One look at Emmett or Jasper, knowing I'm with _them_ in some way, and whatever interest I may have held, diminishes before my very eyes. And as I sit and think about my life, or lack thereof, I decide I'll give Edward a break. If I'm lonely and in need of companionship, I can only imagine how sad Edward must be all the time. I wonder if he's ever liked anyone, but found them to be unattainable.

Suddenly, strange feelings of sorrow and frustration, and even anger, surround me—and I understand none of it. One moment I was casually pondering Edward's state of emotional disrepair and now I'm—angry? I ask myself where the anger is coming from, and I truly do not know. I suppose I do feel some discontentment over the Edward situation but I can't fathom that I really feel angry over it, at least not in this moment, not as I sit here and feel bad for him. And like a swift kick to my stomach, I feel an emptiness that I can't describe. It feels like… like, a sorrow so deep, a depth I didn't even know existed. My emotions confuse me and nearly send me to tears as I peer over the open biology book, but the tears aren't coming. I try to force back the foreign feelings and focus on the text before me. I can read every word and I retain what I read, but it serves as no distraction for the sorrow I feel welling up in my chest. My heart feels as though it is literally too large for my chest and I can feel aching compressions where my heart beats. _Maybe I need a cardiologist._

My sudden mood swing has me worried and I'm fearful of myself. I'm afraid I'll hurt someone or something. I'm afraid I'll attack the person across the hall from me. If everything weren't so clouded and I didn't feel so angry, so sad, so empty, I might scoff at the notion of being able to hurt Edward. But I can't focus, I can barely breathe, and my limbs feel so heavy I can't even move. Even thinking, questioning what's happening is becoming too much, and my breathing stops. I sit there, at my desk, not breathing, not moving. My body is acting like breathing is unnecessary, though I know it very well is, and it's just—stopped breathing. I want to panic but I can't. I can't move. I try to will myself to move, but I can't. I should be freaking out right now. I should be doing something—anything to get somebody's attention, but my body won't allow me to move.

Finally, my body lets out an aggravated huff and I draw in a deep breath, trying to regain a steady pattern. I can breathe again. My lungs burn from the lack of oxygen and I wince at the feeling, but I don't focus on it, I'm just happy to be breathing again—even if I still can't move my body. I feel the anger rising in me, pushing me to the brink… the brink of something I don't understand. _Violence._ I want to hit something. I want to break something. This is not like me. I want to shake my head to clear my thoughts and emotions, but my body is still not able to move and I still don't know why. I want to cry, but the tears are not coming. Another flash of anger courses through me. I want to hit something in my room, but I'm afraid I'll break something and Esme will be upset with me.

It's as though my mind and my emotions are separate entities. My mind knows these feelings are not rational. I don't understand why I would fear breaking something. I think I should fear breaking myself. I am, by far, the most vulnerable thing in this house. I close my eyes, willing them shut with everything in my being, hoping to block out the anger and the sorrow, the empty pit, and it's not working. I can hear my breathing become ragged and my heart is racing out of my chest. The sound of the blood pumping through my veins, overworking my tired heart becomes too much, too loud. Tears begin to well in my eyes as I fling my hands to my ears with great force, trying to block out the sounds of the rapid beating of my heart, but it's no use, all it does it cause my head to hurt. I realize that I smacked myself in the head awfully hard.

My chest is tightening and I'm quite sure this is a panic attack, though it feels entirely out of body. My hands are doing nothing to block out the sound of my heart beating through my chest. I want to scream. _No._ I want to get out of here, out of this house, away from everyone and their pity. _Pity?_ I don't even understand my own thoughts anymore. All I can focus on is my shaky breathing, the deafening sound of my beating heart, and the emptiness I feel in my gut. My limbs go stiff again and I can't move my hands from my ears, nor can I move my legs. I feel rather than hear my own voice, screaming, and the vibrations of the noise are rattling in my gut with the constricting muscles in my limbs. My throat is going hoarse and I can't keep this up forever. I beg someone to find me, help me as I still can't move, and I still can't control the anger—it's engulfing me. And everything goes blurry. I'm shaking and I can't focus on anything, and then, the dark consumes me and all thought and feeling ceases.

I open my eyes and I wait until my vision comes into focus. I'm lying down in Carlisle's study. I stir slightly, my body feels heavy, but I can move my limbs with ease. I can't hear the pounding of my own heart anymore, and the foreign emotions are gone. I gasp, drinking in a deep breath and sigh contentedly, allowing the breath to escape me. Carlisle moves at a quick, but human pace towards me and leans over. He's smiling weakly. I can see the fear and worry on his face. I force a smile, knowing it doesn't reach my eyes.

"How are you feeling?"

Carlisle is surveying me as his patient. I pause for a moment, wondering how to answer that. I don't feel fine, I feel scared. I have no idea what happened to me, and I'm scared it will happen again.

"Physically, I feel fine. But I'm scared, Carlisle, I don't know what that was."

Carlisle's lips upturn in an attempt to soothe me. He's trying for his best bedside manner. It's not working.

"Well, Bella, if you tell me what happened, maybe we can sort it out. When I got to your bedroom, you had your hands over your ears and you were screaming bloody murder. I had to sedate you to calm you down. You've been out for a few hours now."

I nod and take a deep breath, letting that sink in. I blush, and I'm embarrassed, as I remember what I was thinking about right before I had my panic attack.

"I was doing my homework."

The words I speak are the truth, but even I don't believe them; and apparently, neither does Carlisle.

"Isabella, I need you to _tell me_ precisely what happened and what was going on if I am going to help you."

I suck in and then let out a deep breath. I look to Carlisle with pleading eyes and he smiles politely in an attempt to soothe me. It doesn't work. I'm a horrible liar, so I know my only option is to be honest with him. _Here it goes._

"I was doing my homework… and _thinking._"

I pause before resigning myself to total humiliation.

"I was thinking about _Edward._"

The corners of Carlisle's lips turn up and I swear, if the man were still human, he would be blushing. This is not the first time I've had to admit to thinking about _him._ I wait before continuing. Carlisle's beautiful, golden eyes are still boring into my skull and I give in.

"I was _thinking_ about how lonely he must be, how hard being alone must be on him."

I shrug and suddenly I'm experiencing a catastrophic case of word vomit.

"I was thinking about how I've never had a boyfriend… boys won't even come near me with you all around—well, except for Mike. But something tells me he's kind of a moron. A cute moron, but a moron nonetheless. And I was thinking about being in a family where everyone is a couple and then…"

I gulp loudly before letting it all spill out at lightning speed.

"I wondered if Edward was a virgin!"

Carlisle looks down and I can hear him chuckling. His laughter becomes eccentric and he's barreled over, unable to contain his amusement. All I can think is that I need to do something, say something to distract him from the topic at hand.

"So I was… _ya know…_ and then I was mad. Like, _furious_ mad. I was so angry that I thought I could hurt somebody."

I lower my voice.

"I was so scared. I didn't understand it, Carlisle. I was actually afraid I would hurt Edward."

I let out a weak laugh and I let my head drop, unable to look him in the eyes anymore.

"The anger just got worse, and I stopped breathing. I couldn't breathe, but what really scared me is that I couldn't move, and my body wasn't even fighting it."

I could feel my composure waning and a few tears escape my eyes and slide down my cheek. I look up enough to see Carlisle's expression has turned serious once more. I sniffle back a sob and he brings his right hand up to my cheek as he wipes away the few stray tears.

"_Bella,_ I know this is hard for you, and it was a scary experience, but I need you to continue."

I nod and lean into his hand that holds my cheek. I smile lightly. I miss Charlie, but I love Carlisle as a father all the same. I clear my throat.

"I could feel my heart beating so hard, like it was going to jump out of my chest, and then it got really loud. And it just got louder and louder and I tried to put my hands on my ears to stop it, but it didn't work; and I hit myself really hard. I couldn't move, all I could do was scream."

I look up to Carlisle and he lets out a sharp breath it seems he was holding. He wears a comforting look that does not reach his eyes. The subtle squint of marble flesh around his golden flecks betrays him. He's worried for me, and he's not the only one. Carlisle's right hand, that still takes up residence on my cheek, moves as he caresses my cheek with his thumb.

"Your mother has made you lasagna for dinner. It smells horrid, but she assures me that it's really quite appetizing to a human palate."

We smile in unison and he removes his hand, backing away from me to allow me to get up. I move to sit up and then stand, but my body sways to the side. Carlisle reaches down and helps me to my feet. Now, steadier on my feet, I walk to the door. I turn around and smile at the man who is always there to protect me and guide me. Charlie would approve of Carlisle, vampire or not.

"Thanks, dad."

I leave the room and slowly walk down the stairs to the first floor. I can smell the lasagna and I know it's going to taste wonderful. Esme's cooking has greatly improved since I first came to live with the Cullen's. It took months before she could make a proper human breakfast, though she did so frequently as a human—she blames her vampire diet on her dulled, human cooking abilities. I reach the bottom of the stairs and let out a big sniff as I enter the kitchen. I smile at Esme who stands over the sink, washing up some of the mess from dinner.

"I can clean up, mom."

She smiles at me and shakes her head. I know that cooking and caring for me in any way she can is important to Esme, but I offer my help anyhow. I walk to the breakfast bar where Esme has made me a place setting and my dinner waits for me, and I sit down. As I start to eat, I see Esme move at hyper speed as she produces a glass of milk for me to drink. I lift my fork and take my first bite and as suspected, it's delicious. I dig in with wild abandon and for the millionth time, I wonder how Esme looks as she hunts. My adopted mother, so composed and gentle and full of love… imagining her sinking her razor sharp teeth into Bambi makes me want to laugh, but I don't. The last time I told her about my little hunting fantasies, Esme was not happy. The last thing she wants to be seen in my eyes is as a monster. I know that more than anything, she wishes I were really hers and she were human, though I remind her constantly that I am really hers in all the ways that matter.

"How are you feeling, dear?"

I smile.

"I'm fine, _now._"

I put my head down and finish eating my dinner, trying to close off the conversation. Esme is the only person in this house who respects my limits. It's not like she didn't hear what I told Carlisle, anyway. As far as I'm concerned, they can discuss it further after I'm in bed. I thank Esme for dinner and excuse myself to my room. I'm tired and I can't wait to talk to Alice. I know better than to think Alice will wait until morning for us to talk; so I walk up to my third floor bedroom to wait for her.

I don't have to wait long as Alice zooms through my bedroom door moments after I've slipped my nightshirt on over my head. Her eyes, now, a rich butterscotch, are illuminated by the light from the moon shining through my glass wall. I smile at Alice and she rushes towards me, too fast, as she embraces me once again. I hug her back excitedly. I missed Alice, and this afternoon, during the incident, I wondered where she was. Alice hurries us to my bed and we plop down. Immediately I'm hit with a million questions, some of which she fires off too quickly for me to hear. I answer everything I can as she's the one person I really _want_ to talk to about this. After what feels like hours of talking about _the incident_, Alice is silent.

"So, Alice…"

I'm not sure how to say what I want to say, but I know that I want to say it regardless. And before I can figure out how to word it, Alice knows the question forming on my lips and she saves me from verbalizing it. Alice lets out a giggle before speaking.

"I'm not sure I should answer that question. He'll get mad at me."

I stick my bottom lip out and pout. I can see Alice's resolve wavering. I bat my eyes at her as that's usually what makes her crumble.

"_Okay!"_

Alice nearly shouts in my ear as she concedes. I'm thrilled; this was easier than I thought it would be.

"Do you want to hear a story?"

I'm quick to roll my eyes and Alice scowls at me. I force my sour look away and I smile at her, hoping she hasn't changed her mind.

_It's a story about Edward_.

I get comfortable on the bed, knowing this will probably be what sends me to sleep. I nod enthusiastically and lay back against my pillow, waiting for Alice to begin.

"I want to tell you about the first time I met Edward…"


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Not edited. None of the chapters are. Well—they were—but they weren't edited all that well… anyhow. Here you go.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I don't own the characters—but I do own Edward's groans and Bella's bitching. That shit's all mine.

**Bite to Break Skin**

**Chapter Three**

**Alice**

"I want to tell you about the first time I met Edward…"

I take in a deep and totally unnecessary breath before I begin the story. Bella is lying next to me in her bed, all curled up and cute—and so only partly human. I cross my ankles and get comfortable—_well_, human comfortable. I look to my left to see Bella's big brown eyes, staring up at me like I've just given her a present. I know how badly she wants to know Edward, and since nobody can convince him to face her, the best I can do is to let her know him through my eyes.

"It was 1931 and I was visiting the big app-"

I feel a swift jab to my marble skin and I look down at Bella who is scowling at me. She jabbed me quite hard, for her that is, and she's quite lucky that nothing she's just yet capable of, can hurt me. I flash her my pearly whites and answer the question she has yet to ask.

"Jazz and I came to live with Edward and Co. in 1950, but I first met Edward in 1931. Now, would you like to continue jabbing me, or are you going to be a good little human and listen?"

I quirk my right eyebrow at Bella, daring her to interrupt me again; I'm holding all the cards, and she knows it. I wait until she's made the decision to keep quiet before I continue.

"As I was saying…"

I huff, looking toward the ceiling for dramatic effect and we both giggle. I love Bella and I miss her more than she knows when I'm not here. I hate being away from her nearly as much as I hate being award from Jazz, but it's necessary. Bella is too smart for it, she knows I hate being away, she just has yet to pinpoint why.

"I was visiting the big apple and taking quite a large bite out of it, if I do say so myself…"

I grin down at Bella who is fixated on my every move. For emphasis, I run my tongue along my razor sharp teeth. I think I'm pretty funny, so I let out a little giggle and she does the same. Bella amazes and worries me every day of my existence. I try to remind myself that I'm making a joke about taking human lives, and I try to remind myself that it's not supposed to be a joke—but I fail miserably when Bella giggles. Killing people is wrong, even if I joke about it, and I'm tempted to stop the story to remind her of that fact, though I might seem suspicious. Bella doesn't know that she needs to be reminded of the fragility of human life. She thinks she's human, she thinks she's an average teenage girl. _If only she knew._ I stop my thoughts immediately as I can foresee Edward yelling at me momentarily, so I begin the story again. Bella's somewhat human brain is unaware that in the half a second I pause for, I've mulled over her lack of humanity.

"It was my first trip to New York. I'd only been a vampire for about a decade, and I had just discovered fashion. Can you believe it? An entire ten years without having a clue as to how to coordinate."

I roll my eyes at myself and feign disbelief. Bella giggles again and continues to stare at me with her eyes, though I can see they're starting to droop. _Good._ This story won't have to go on much longer.

"I'd come to New York from Boston, where I had been staying with a coven for a few years. One of the women always looked so radiant and beautiful and so well put together. I found myself wanting to look like her, and when she told me she got her fashions from New York City—well, nothing was going to stop me from going. I wasn't surprised that upon my arrival, I could smell vampires everywhere. I mean, honestly, Manhattan is large enough for anyone and anything to blend in easily."

I look to Bella and her eyes are halfway closed, though she's fighting it.

"I had probably been in the city for a few weeks when I ran into Edward. We were both at a speakeasy. I was the only woman in there who wasn't paid for her attendance. We sensed one another as he walked in and he came to sit beside me. The speakeasy was run by a local coven, and they would lure unsuspecting or willing humans to the backroom where they gutted them and drained their blood."

_Almost asleep. Good._

If Bella were really awake, no doubt she would make a face at my last statement.

"So I sat there, drinking my fresh blood. As Edward approached I asked the barkeep for two more, to which he obliged. When Edward sat beside me, we greeted one another with a nod. I knew he was thirsty and when his glass came, he gave me a questioning look. I remember thinking that his hair looked like it'd been caught in a windstorm, and upon that thought… Yes, you can guess—Edward chuckled at me. He told me he could read my thoughts and no, he hadn't been caught in any windstorm—he was born with that catastrophe on his head. You've never seen his hair, but it is a complete catastrophe. It's a damn good thing he's handsome or no woman would ever look his way with that spectacle he calls hair."

Startling me, Bella lets out a giggle. I thought she couldn't really hear me. It figures though, I say his name and suddenly she's all ears.

"Edward and I didn't say anything else to one another for quite some time; we just sat there and drank our blood when it arrived. Finally though, a vision came to me. I saw Edward being welcomed by a very studly blond whom you call 'dad'."

I hear Bella groan and look down to see her making a face at me. It's not like she doesn't find Carlisle attractive, it's more that he's a father to her, and the warring thoughts in her head drive her mad. I know Bella doesn't _want_ to find anyone in her family attractive in that sense, but she is drawn to us like that regardless. I scrunch my nose up at Bella as I gaze down at her. Her eyes are open now and she's giving me a warning look, a look I know well. I'm not to address Carlisle's studliness in her presence. It makes her uncomfortable.

"Well, Carlisle and Esme were in my head welcoming Edward home. The moment I had that thought, his eyes grew wide and he looked at me like I was crazy. The mind reader calling the psychic crazy—who'd of thunk it? Well, at this point, Edward was giving off this bitching, brooding vibe. So I tried, as nonchalantly as possible, to ask him about the vampire's in my vision. He was very tight lipped and had decided it was time for him to go. I called after him and told him that they missed him, and wouldn't think less of him upon his return. He actually smiled at me—I know… I was shocked, too. And then he left. I tried to block him from my thoughts as he retreated by cataloguing all the clothes I'd purchased…"

Just as I'm wrapping up the story, I hear Bella breathe in a sharp breath. Immediately I know she's going to ask me about Edward, and it's a question I shouldn't answer. I want to jump up and run from the room, but if I do, she'll follow me and we'll cause a scene. Rosalie will tell Bella about Edward if she dares to ask. I can't risk it, so I play it off.

"Alice—you said Edward's hair is a mess? What color is it?"

"Brown."

I let the words fly from my mouth quickly, almost too quickly. I think I've gotten away with it, and I smile at Bella, looking her directly in the eye as I lean forward. As I let the next words roll off my tongue, I let my breath wash over her face.

"Why?"

Bella smirks at me. My trick didn't work. On a normal human, my vampire breath would have made them forget what they asked. I shouldn't have tried it with Bella—it rarely works, and when you try to confuse her, she's quite good about picking up on why you made the attempt. So now I'm royally fucked.

"Nice try, miss. You're full of shit."

I do everything I can to remain stone faced, which should be easy for a vampire, but in Bella's presence, it most certainly is not. She knows when I'm lying, though I have no idea how. Last I checked, I don't have any tells. I roll my eyes at her, refusing to respond to that comment. I can see the wheels turning at hyper speed in her brain, and she figures it out. Edward is going to be _so_ mad at me.

"Are you sure it's not more bronze-ish, Alice?"

She forms it like she's asking a question, but we both knows it's a statement.

_One._

_Two._

_Three._

"ALICE!"

And Edward is screaming for me. Bella's eyes light up and she's got this shit-eating grin plastered on her face. Well, no more stories for her if that's how she's going to play me. I hop out of her bed and make my way to the door and turn to face Bella.

"His highness beckons. I better go."

Her eyes form into a squint and her mouth contracts to a flat line as she lets out a huff. She looks pretty cute all flustered and annoyed like that.

"One more thing…"

I look back at her, and in a moment of rarity; have no idea what she's going to ask me.

"Why didn't you come home right away when I had my panic attack?"

Bella is questioning my actions, not judging them—that much I can tell. I sigh. I wish I hadn't been hunting this afternoon.

"I didn't see it happening, Bella. I was hunting. I don't catch much when I'm on the prowl."

"So, you didn't "see" _anything_?

She used her hands to demonstrate air quotes to refer to my visions. I shake my head 'no.' My poker face is not with me tonight—a lie would not go unnoticed. Bella seems honestly surprised by my admission, so I look at her questioningly; but she just shakes her head in dismissal. I smile brightly at her before opening the door and exiting.

I barely get the door shut before Edward is flying at me and dragging me down to the first floor. He's angry, really angry. _Crap._ His marble hands are yanking at his hair as he paces the living room at high speed. I'm standing right where he left me, at the foot of the steps, slightly stunned and hoping nothing gets broken inside the house. I try to 'see' what might happen, but nothing's coming to me. Edward's thoughts are all over the place and the only constant thought is his longing to be in that third floor bedroom with that beautiful, sleeping, not-so-human, girl.

In an instant, everyone has sped into the living room and have all chosen their sitting positions for this very contemptuous meeting. Carlisle sits in a chair with Esme on the arm and next to them in the second chair is Emmett with Rosalie on his lap. I make my way to the couch to join Jasper and give him a chaste peck on the lips. The moment I feel his smooth skin on mine, I sigh as a feeling of relief and peace washes over me. If I could cry, I would in this moment. Jasper drapes his arms around me and pulls me to him so I'm cradled in his chest. This is home; this is where my heart lies.

Edward continues to pace the room and I grow irritated with it, I just want him to stop. Unfortunately, the thought escapes me and Edward turns toward me, fully bodied, fuming mad, and his eyes are cast down directly into mine. _Crap._

"_You're_ irritated? Really, Alice?"

I let out an exasperated sigh and I feel Jasper tense up beside me. He has always respected my relationship with Edward, though he doesn't care for the way Edward sometimes speaks to me, and I don't blame him—but I do need him to let us work it out. Edward continues to stare me down until Carlisle clears his throat to get our attention.

"Alice, you said on the phone you had a vision and we needed to discuss further plans because of it."

I nod.

"Edward and I both returned home because I had a vision of Bella biting a human."

Everyone in the room gapes at me, except for Edward who continues to fume. I can't hear their thoughts like he can—but their expressions speak volumes. The room has gone from tense to—whatever is worse than that. Carlisle nods tentatively, no doubt doing his best to avoid angering Edward.

"Alice, do you have any more information you can share with us about this incident? Did you see what led up to the bite?"

"It's not important."

Edward snaps toward Carlisle and then to me. He knows damn well it's important, he just can't bring himself to think about it anymore. When I first had the vision, Edward destroyed the apartment we were renting, three parked cars, two trees, and the computer I had been working on. The very idea of what Bella was doing sent him into a rage I'd never seen before. His heart was broken.

"She was in a car with a boy—blond. They were kissing."

I try to tailor my voice to avoid upsetting Edward as much as possible. It's no use. I look to him in time to see him rush out the backdoor and into the woods where I hear the faint sounds of trees toppling over, wood cracking, and Edward... Edward is whimpering. The sounds he is making would accompany tears if he were able to produce them. I search the faces before me and see that every face in the room looks distraught and saddened. Nobody likes to see Edward hurting.

"We cannot let that happen. Somebody here needs to get through to Edward."

Carlisle looks to his wife as he finishes speaking. In fact, all our gazes fall to Esme. As our mother in every way that counts, we look to her for maternal leadership. Esme looks afraid, knowing that we expect her to be the one to break through to Edward. We all hear Edward in the distance as he approaches the house and instantly, we wipe the pity from our faces.

As Edward walks back into the living room he lets out a huff and begins yanking at his messy locks once more. I see Carlisle opening his mouth about to speak, but thankfully he looks to me before doing so. I shake my head. Edward is about to speak and he really needs to say what he's prepared.

"Bella just needs to be kept away from… the… opportunity to… engage in… certain… activities."

His voice is strained and I can tell he's fighting back his anger.

"Alice and I have come home for good this time. There is nothing more we can learn in South America or anywhere else for that matter. Where we need to be now is here… with Bella."

I nod my head in agreement and take the reigns. Edward's composure is slipping and I'd rather prefer he not destroy anything in the house with his temper.

"We've spoken with Carlisle before about enrolling in the high school to keep two extra sets of eyes on Bella. With this new development, we can't leave her unattended, and until a decision has been reached about her… condition… and how much Edward will tell her… we thought she should stay in school."

I finish Edward's intended speech with a few minor altercations and I search the room for objections. Only Carlisle speaks, everyone else looks too terrified to.

"Edward… before you and Alice returned home, we spoke as a family about Bella's birthday. The five of us are in agreement that we think it would be best to offer Bella the choice to be changed. Perhaps if we broach the subject as though it's a birthday gift of sorts, it can be looked upon as Bella's decision, rather than a necessity."

Edward is not happy.

"You know I will not allow that to happen, Carlisle. We may have come to a standstill in the research—but that certainly doesn't mean it's a dead end. I have not spent the last seventeen years dedicated to this, dedicated to her… to just say 'fuck it.' Bella deserves the chance at a normal life—what is so wrong with all of you that you'd willingly take that from her?"

I look to Carlisle waiting his reply, but it's Rosalie who clears her throat.

"She's not normal, Edward."

Rosalie's glare is menacing. Edward has gone from angry to forlorn in a matter of sentences and now Rosalie is pouncing on this opportunity. _This can't be good._

"Look, I get what you want for her. Don't you think we all want that for her, too? But just open your eyes for a minute here, will you? I know damn well what it's like to miss out on a normal life. It is going to break Bella's heart when she finds out what she is and what's in store for her, and no amount of research is going to change that."

Edward drops his head down, but his voice is angry, disturbed even.

"Since when do you care about anybody else, Rosalie?"

"By all accounts, Bella shouldn't even be alive, _Edward._ By all accounts, her kind—hell, even our kind… shouldn't exist. But what you are failing to realize is that one way or another… her humanity is a ticking clock. The very best that she can hope for is for us to change her; and the longer you wait and put it off, the worse this situation is going to become."

_That did it._

Edward drops to a crouch and lets out a furious hiss at Rosalie, who jumps off Emmett's lap and does the same. Esme becomes nervous for both her children and her house.

"Enough!"

Esme shouts loud enough to wake the dead. Moments pass and both Edward and Rosalie return to their upright positions. I hear grumbling from upstairs and every head in the room focuses on the ceiling.

"Human trying to sleep here!"

Bella is frustrated and groggy. From what Esme tells me, she has to yell at them at least once a week to keep it down. I suppose that's an issue when you're the only one in a house of eight who needs to sleep. Emmett lets out a stifled laugh. Knowing him, he's tempted to race up there just to give her a noogy before coming back down to continue the meeting. Esme begins speaking, this time, at a much lower volume.

"Fighting will get us nowhere. Carlisle—"

She looks to her husband and nods at him, responding to his silent question. She removes herself from the arm of the chair, allowing Carlisle to stand, before she sits back down.

"We have yet to discuss this afternoon's events and I would think they take precedence over a sibling rivalry."

Carlisle turns his attention towards Edward, but he's still too angry, not ready to speak.

"Edward… how did you know Bella was concocting a plan to get your attention?"

Carlisle asks curiously. Edward's mood lightens slightly.

"I heard her."

We all look to Edward, mouths hanging down. This will be the second time he has returned home and been able to hear Bella's thoughts. Edward looks around the room and surrenders. He can tell we're determined to make him continue.

"Well, she was angry with me and she figured if she jumped out the glass door in her bedroom that I would come and save her. But her faulty human logic didn't account for the fact that I typically _can't_ hear her thoughts and that Alice was hunting—she didn't 'see' Bella's decision to jump. If I hadn't heard her…"

"Did you hear her thoughts during her panic attack?"

Edward grimaces at Carlisle's question, the answer is obviously 'no.' I can feel the regret radiating off of him. He feels regret for not being there to help Bella just as I do.

"After I directed you to seal her glass door, she became more enraged with me."

Carlisle narrows his eyes.

"Edward, I know this is not a topic you're comfortable with, but it really will benefit us as a whole to know exactly what went on."

Edward gives up, his entire body surrendering further. Whatever he is about to say, it pains him to say it.

"Bella was livid. I grumbled and she heard me. Her hearing is more advanced than I'd like Carlisle—she thought I groaned 'loudly' and complained that I could be more silent; and then she felt guilty for thinking I should be silent in my own home. I was fine until—"

Carlisle and Edward begin a silent conversation before Carlisle speaks up, obviously aware of what happened next.

"I think Bella felt Edward's anguish and sorrow, and that is what led to her panic attack."

I raise my eyes and Jasper tightens his hold on me.

"You think she can feel others' emotions?"

I look to my love and see the confusion on his face. Carlisle shakes his head.

"No. I believe Bella has the ability to tap into Edward and Edward alone. Though she thinks he's a distant part of the family whom dislikes her… we know that is not the case. Edward has always been very connected to her and perhaps, as her strength increases, so will her bond with him."

I look to my adopted brother. He's embarrassed. I want to run to him, hug him, and make him feel more confident. Whether he likes it or not—I have always seen Bella and Edward together in the future. She is however, infinitely more beautiful than my visions ever concocted. Even when she was born and his arms were the first ones to hold her tiny, frail, blood-splattered body—I had the vision that one day, that newborn baby would grow into a beautiful woman… the woman who would finally capture my brother's heart. I smile warmly at the memories and before I can reign myself in—I begin planning their wedding.

"It's not happening, Alice."

Edward warns me about my thoughts with a sharp hiss.

_Cranky bastard. I wonder if he'll scowl when he says his "I do's."_

… followed by a low growl.

Jasper, who has been relatively silent this entire meeting, lets out a chuckle. The entire room turns to look at him, Edward especially, who scowls in Jasper's direction. I put on my best "Alice" face as they call it and try to intimidate Edward into looking a little kinder towards my husband. I do not like the look he's giving Jasper one bit.

"Edward, you can remain in denial as long as you'd like, but I've been here and I feel every emotion that rolls through your body. We _all_ know how you feel about Bella, and we support it—even if you don't. The sooner you face her, the sooner you can move forward… together."

I smile up at Jasper—he always speaks so eloquently and is always so kind in his words. I try to ignore the grumbling coming from Edward as he begins pacing the room again. He really doesn't like this topic one bit.

Emmett dons a grin on his face as he catches everyone but Edward's attention in preparation to speak.

"That little half-breed up there is getting awfully testy the older she gets, and I blame YOU, brother. Last week she nearly broke my Xbox controller!"

He points a finger at Edward.

"It drives her nuts that you won't face her, and in turn, she drives us nuts complaining about it. You cannot, no, you will not avoid her forever. I'll rip you apart first. I cannot live forever _and_ endure her bitching. Rose's is enough."

I don't like ganging up on Edward, but he's the one, immovable force that's driving us all mad.

"Edward, I'm sorry."

I start out slowly, apologetically.

"But Emmett's right, and so is Jazz. Besides, you know Bella is one step closer to figuring it out."

Edward began to argue back, causing Rosalie to pipe up again, to which Esme has to shush them again. And it goes on like this for hours. Eventually Edward allows me to discuss Bella's questions from earlier this evening—particularly the one about Edward's hair color. He is unhappy that she has learned something about him—especially something so significant to her memories. When it becomes four in the morning, I break up the meeting, excusing myself and my husband. The day has been emotionally draining enough; it is time for us to be alone and to take pleasure in what we miss out on far too often. But before we depart from the room, I turn to look at Edward who gives me a sad half smile.

"If you get your way, Edward, one day—Bella really will be with another man. You and I both know that you will not be able to live with that. And even if you could—Bella deserves to know you. She deserves to experience the same thing I get to experience with Jazz… even if you think you don't. She's your other half, Edward. Please stop trying to fight your destiny."

Jazz gives my hand a squeeze as we speed up to our room, before engulfing me fully in his arms again. I sigh contentedly and relax into his chest.

"It will work out, darling."

Jasper's smooth voice whispers in my ear and I feel the fire igniting inside my belly. I have missed this man more than I could ever describe.

"I hope so, Jazz. I hope so."

I am not as confidant as my better half, though I trust him, I am resigned to believe he just wants to calm me down.

"Mrs. Whitlock—"

Jasper's tone is playful, but he's calling for my full attention. I peek up at him and nearly melt. Yes, Bella deserves to feel this. She deserves to have this love, to have this connection; and so does Edward—whether he knows it or not.

"I could feel every emotion that went through Edward tonight. He wants nothing more than to run up those stairs and crawl into that bed with his girl and hold her. He wants nothing more than to witness every breath she takes, and be there for every smile that graces her lips. And he cannot even imagine an existence without her. When a man loves a woman that deeply—nothing can keep him from her for long… not even himself."

I am moved by the beautiful things Jasper says about Edward and I'm tempted to race from the room to tell Edward himself—to show him how much he loves Bella, even if he refuses to see it.

"Now, if you don't mind, Mrs. Whitlock—Mr. Whitlock would like to show you how very much you've been missed."

_Screw it._ I can talk to Edward later.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I do own Edward's groans and Bella's bitching. That shit's all mine.

**Bite to Break Skin**

**Chapter Four**

**Bella**

"… and the longer you wait and put it off, the worse this situation is going to become."

Rosalie's words echo in my mind. She speaks in a tone that is almost compassionate as opposed to the usual, which carries about as much emotion as a slab of granite. I've already backed away from my perch near the top of the lower staircase and begun my trek back up to my bedroom.

_Breathe, Bella, breathe._

I chant over and over again, reminding myself of the single most important human function. I will myself to remain calm down despite the enormity of what I just heard.

_She's not normal…_

_ She shouldn't even be alive._

_ Her humanity is a ticking clock._

I force the unpleasant thoughts from my head as I try so desperately to focus on the task before me. All I need to do is to make it up the flight of stairs and into my bedroom.

_Right._

_ Left._

_ Right._

My lower half is not cooperative and I want to panic, but my mind won't allow me to. My legs feel inoperable and as though they weigh a ton. I don't know when the total mind/body disconnect occurred, but it was definitely some time before _the incident._ I experienced this same feeling this afternoon. My mind couldn't will my body to respond in a panic. My brain registers that something is wrong—something is very, very wrong; but my body is not reacting correctly.

I catalogue my heart rate, which is normal. My heart always beats at eighty four beats per minute, under normal conditions. I focus on my hands, forehead and under arms, none of which are perspiring. The typical clamminess I experience during stress is not present. Though I continue to forget to breathe, my lungs are not strained and my chest is not heaving involuntarily.

As I ascertain my physical condition, I realize I've forgotten to breathe again. This insight troubles me, and now my body begins to panic. I had stopped breathing for forty nine seconds, yet my body didn't register any discomfort. The average person feels a tightening in their chest after twenty seconds without oxygen. It is a matter of curiosity that my body held out, comfortably, for such a long duration. I make a quick mental note to consult one of my medical journals at a later date.

_WHAT!_

I don't have medical journals. I don't know about heart palpitations, or the average length of time a person can go without taking a breath. I don't know any of that stuff—but at the same time, I do. My breathing grows shallow and, try as I might, I cannot pull a deeper breath from my chest.

_Just breathe._

_Focus._

My hands claw furiously at the banister as I pull myself up the stairs. My sole focus is on the movements of my body, forcing them into submission. There are sixteen stairs and eleven steps between me and my bedroom door. This shouldn't be too hard. I count the steps in an effort to focus on the task at hand as I climb the stairs before me.

From the family room, I hear Edward hissing. His hiss is not playful or even annoyed, he is angry. I register this hiss as a sign that he doesn't agree with Rosalie's sentiments on my life. Rosalie doesn't appreciate Edward's hostility, I knew she wouldn't. I hear her jump off Emmett's lap and hit the floor as she hisses back at Edward. Rosalie's hiss is defensive and maternal; and high-pitched. I swear—you can hear the defiance in her breath. She may not like me much, but she's always been there to protect me. I'm amazed at how different they sound. A vampire's hiss is a warning, and their growl is a challenge. I've heard Alice hiss when her wardrobe is threatened and once, Esme hissed at a human girl who was less-than-kind to me at school.

While everyone in my family, well, every vampire in my family, has a melodic ring to their voices; it is Edward whose voice sounds the most beautiful to my ears. A combination of Chopin and honey and thousand count bed linens, Edward's voice is enchanting. Even the sound of Edward's hiss draws me in. Low and rumbling from the very core of his abdomen, Edward's hiss sounds lethal and protective. When he is really angry and on guard, like now, a slight growl will break through the hiss, creating an ethereal sound that reminds me of an angry purr.

_ One._

_ Eight._

_ Sixteen._

I've made it up the stairs in a flash. Edward and Rosalie are still challenging one another downstairs and it occurs to me that were I sleeping right now, they would have woken me up with the rising volume of their pissing contest.

"Human trying to sleep here!"

The nerve of some vampires... Just because they never need to sleep, and just because I'm not _actually_ sleeping, doesn't mean that common rules of courtesy shouldn't apply. I pull myself together, straighten up and walk into my room at a less hurried pace. My body is calming and I can feel myself regaining composure; this time, mind and body in sync with one another. I take a deep breath and walk into my bedroom, knowing exactly what I need to do next.

I walk across the room towards my glass wall and the large mahogany desk that sits in the corner. I ignore the fear bubbling up in my belly. The last time I sat in this desk, I felt like I was either near death or a complete psychotic meltdown. I shake my head, pretending my concerns are invalid and I cautiously sit down in the antique ladder-back side chair.

I reach down to my right for the presently-unlocked bottom drawer and I pull out my "Freaky Facts" journal. Last year I had named the journal "Edward" as its first recording was about the first time I dreamt of the beautiful vampire boy—who after a few weeks of inquiring about, I was sure was in fact, Edward. A few months after I had begun to record my dreams, other things began to happen, so I made a note of those, too. Eventually I realized that every human girl who was being raised by a vegetarian vampire coven needed a "Freaky Facts" journal. I reasoned that I would not be normal without one. After all, living with vampires had to ensure _some_ freaky things would ensue.

The journal plops itself open to the first blank page. I grab my favorite pen—the insanely expensive French pen that cost Edward a few grand. The same pen he got to use once before I lifted it from his bedroom. The same pen I usually house in my underwear drawer, knowing full well he will not venture in there to retrieve it. I smile at the cleverness of my plan. I don't even care that much for how it handles, I just like the fact that it's Edward's and he refuses to confront me to ask for it back. Everyone, including Rosalie, has already refused to get it back for him… further proof that he's being irrational in his attempts to keep me at bay. One day I will take something whose absence he can't ignore—like his car.

_I will take his car!_

Despite how much I am enjoying my scheming; there are more important matters I need to deal with. I focus on the page before me and replay the evening's events, scribbling notes along the way.

I did my best to recall and write down exactly what had happened that night…

"… _I couldn't sleep after the incident. I crawled out of bed and fired up my laptop. I figured, at the very least, I could play a few games of online chess and brush up on my skills."_

_One day, I will beat Carlisle!_

_Yeah, that's cute, Bella. He's got a couple centuries under his belt._

"_I remember checking my e-mail and enjoying a brief exchange between myself and Mike Newton."_

"From: Mike Newton

To: Bella Cullen

Sent: Mon, Sep 7, 2009 6:20:18 pm

Subject: Its Mike Newton!

"Hey Bella!

"I Google'd you. Hope you won't be pissed. NE way, I need our bio homework. It was nice to finally meet you—been wanting to say whatz up since UR first day. UR fam seems nice. If U need me 2, I can tutor U so U can catch up on stuff. Lemme know.

The _e-mail Mike sent me was equal parts cute and brainless—like Mike himself._

I'm desperate for human friends, and Mike is so humanly flawed. I'm almost willing to overlook the embarrassment that is his "text message" lingo. I remind myself that most teenagers type this way and I'm likely an anomaly. I am, after all, the only human high school student whose dad helped hand draft the war declaration for the British back in the eighteenth century. The idea that Mike could tutor me was humorous at best.

From: Bella Cullen

To: Mike Newton

Sent: Tue, Sep 8, 2009 1:57:54 am

Subject: Re: Its Mike Newton!

"Hi Mike,

I enjoyed meeting you, too. I promise, my family is very nice—especially Emmett!

Our biology assignment is to read chapters 4 and 5. There will be a quiz tomorrow. Did you lose your syllabus already? I won't be at school tomorrow, my sister and brother flew in this evening from Chicago and we've stayed up late catching up.

I'll see you on Wednesday,

Bella

"_After the e-mail to Mike, I played a few rounds of online chess. I won the first two rounds against the computer, but lost the next three against 'bigboy1391'. When 'bigboy1391' asked me if I was really a girl, I decided our time was up, and turned the computer off. I then retired back to my bed to read "Crime and Punishment" by Dostoevsky. I stopped after getting through the first four chapters and becoming annoyed because of the exceedingly large paragraphs. Carlisle has a better English copy, where the translation is perfect; as well as a first edition in Russian, somewhere in the library—but they're also over a hundred years old. I have no business touching things that valuable._

_Yes!_

"_This, right after I stopped reading, was when I decided to tip toe downstairs and join the party. I remember trying to be as silent as humanly possible. I wanted to try to sneak a peek at Edward, and if he heard me coming, he wouldn't allow it."_

Now that I have the events clear in my mind, I look back down at the two pages of notes and I sigh heavily. This is the part I don't want to write, but I know it's the most important. _The conversation._

There is so much to process, and they spoke so quickly, I didn't have a chance to really consider what they had said when I was downstairs. The best I could do at the time was to focus on the words and will myself to remember them. But now, up in my room, I can really look at the words and try to figure out what they mean. I stand up, grab the journal, and climb into bed with it.

"_You know I will not allow that to happen, Carlisle. We may have come to a standstill in the research—but that certainly doesn't mean it's a dead end. I have not spent the last seventeen years dedicated to this, dedicated to her… to just say 'fuck it.' Bella deserves the chance at a normal life—what is so wrong with all of you that you'd willingly take that from her?"_

I stare at the words on the page and try to understand what Edward meant, but nothing is coming to me.

_Research?_

It's possible that Edward was referring to my blood condition—I always forget he went to medical school—_twice_. The next part is what really befuddles me. I don't know what "they" want to take from me, but Edward seems completely against it. Part of me feels comforted by the thought of Edward defending me. If I'm reading his words correctly, then I'm to interpret that Edward hasn't run off to be an international vampire playboy these past years, he's been researching something to do with me.

I don't understand this at all, so I give up and move on after making notes about my thoughts in the margin.

_ "She's not normal, Edward."_

I am somewhat disconcerted by Rosalie's statement, though, it's Rosalie—so, I'm not terribly thrown by it. She could very well mean that I'm not normal because my parents are vampires—in which case, I have no base for argument.

_ "Look, I get what you want for her. Don't you think we all want that for her, too? But just open your eyes for a minute here, will you? I know damn well what it's like to miss out on a normal life. It is going to break Bella's heart when she finds out what she is and what's in store for her, and no amount of research is going to change that."_

This, from Rosalie, is what really worries me. I read it word for word several times, and try to let it sink in. Rosalie's concern for me is unsettling at best. She is seldom worried about anyone or anything else. If she's worried about me, it must be bad. I feel spent and I don't think I can find anything else in her words, but I read it one last time before moving on. My mind clears enough for me to really focus and the words still my breath.

_What I am?_

_What's in store for me?_

I freeze, hold my breath and close my eyes. The logic is that if I don't move, don't breathe and can't see anything that the thoughts in my head will disappear and the last few moments of my life never happened. Unfortunately, this technique has never worked for me; so after a few moments, I resume breathing. Rosalie specifically said "what" not "who", though I'm exhausted and I truly cannot even begin to comprehend what in the hell _that_ means, so I move on.

_ "Since when do you care about anybody else, Rosalie?"_

This conversation is positively strange. While Edward and Rosalie seem to both be on my side, they're definitely in different corners. I just wish I knew what they were fighting over. Edward sounded passionate and pained, while Rosalie sounded agitated.

_ "By all accounts, Bella shouldn't even be alive, Edward. By all accounts, her kind—hell, even our kind… shouldn't exist. But what you are failing to realize is that one way or another… her humanity is a ticking clock. The very best that she can hope for is for us to change her; and the longer you wait and put it off, the worse this situation is going to become."_

_I shouldn't be alive._

_My kind shouldn't exist._

_My humanity is a ticking clock._

_My best bet is to be changed._

_Things will only get worse._

When I first heard Rosalie say I shouldn't be alive, I thought she was saying that because the Volturi wouldn't tolerate a human being so entwined with a vampire coven—much less being raised by one; but now, reading the words on paper, that doesn't seem to fit. I look at all of my notes in the margin and suddenly it dawns on me—I'm dying.

The rare blood condition that Carlisle has treated me for since I was little is killing me. I feel like I've taken a hard punch to the gut. That's what Edward's been researching; he's trying to find a cure.

So he doesn't hate me after all.

Still, I can't bring myself to be less angry with him. If only I had stayed in my room, played a few more rounds of chess, or been asleep—I would be none the wiser. Whoever said 'ignorance is bliss' was a fucking genius. Whoever said 'knowledge is power', however, was full of shit. They, obviously, never found out they were dying.

I look back at Edward's words. He says he's spent the past seventeen years on this, but that doesn't sound right. I moved in with the Cullen's right when I turned thirteen, just after I was diagnosed… so, they lied to me about when they found out about my condition. I think this over for a few minutes. What purpose did it serve Carlisle to lie to me for so long? I understand tailoring the message to make it age appropriate, but not to outright lie. Why did Carlisle lie? It seems so out of character for him to manufacture the sudden illness.

Now that I've gone over all of the transcribed evidence, and realized that with this knowledge, my lifespan as I know it, just got a hell of a lot shorter—I allow myself to process what I just found out. The tears come slowly. Have you ever found out something so monumental that it takes a while to process? I figure this is what's happening to me. I don't feel like I just found out I'm dying, but I've never been in this position before, so really, what do I know? I think about my mother, Renee, who died in child birth.

Did she have the same blood condition? Is that what killed her?

I think about my father, Charlie, who died of a heart attack when I was five. My memories of him are becoming fewer and fainter with the passing years; but the ones I have, I hold close to my heart. From what I remember, he was a kind man. I remember his moustache, and bear hugs, and the stories he used to read to me.

I think about my Gran Marie, Charlie's mother. Gran helped Charlie raise me, and continued to do so after his death; until Carlisle and Esme took me in. Gran's still alive and well in Chicago.

I would do anything to see her right now.

The story had always been that Gran couldn't handle my blood condition and the treatments and medical supervision I would need, so the Cullen's adopted me; but now, I can't even be sure of that. Nobody has even explained how Gran got involved with a vampire coven to begin with.

This just gets stranger.

I now have more questions than answers and it's so overwhelming. My heart is breaking, almost literally. Nervous tears, that were streaming out slowly, now begin to cascade down in buckets. I've never thought too much about my future past high school. Do I even have a future past high school? Will I be able to finish high school? This is all too much and my head throbs just thinking about it. It's not that I don't want to be changed; I just want the option not to be. I want the option to live as a normal human—though that doesn't seem possible anymore.

I continue to lie in my bed, clutching my "Freaky Facts" journal and sobbing. I'm too tired, too overwhelmed to do anything more than grieve for my lost life. Eventually, my throat goes sore and my eyes hurt. I reach up to touch them and they're sensitive—no doubt swollen. My sobs turn to controlled tears. My chest and abdomen hurt. It's that kind of pain you feel when you've lost something, equal parts physical and emotional.

As my vision becomes clearer, I notice the morning light shining in through my glass wall. I'm spent and I see on the clock that it's already six a.m. I wipe the last of my tears, throw the "Freaky Facts" journal to the side and lay back on my bed. I won't be going to school today, but I can't keep my eyes open anymore, so I let myself fall into a much overdue sleep.

"Wake up, sleepyhead!"

My bed jostles and I hear Alice's perky wake-up call. I groan loudly, whining about my lack of sleep and slither further under my covers. I have no plans to leave this bed.

"Bella! Come on. It's time to get up!"

I refuse to move. I don't want to wake up, I don't want to see her and by God, I don't want her to see me. I look like hell, I just know it. I remain still, clutching to my comforter as I hide in the center of my bed, completely covered. I haven't had time to even fully absorb everything I learned last night, let alone having to share my findings with another person, especially Alice. Knowing her, she'll try to find a way to put a positive spin on this; and I don't want her to put a positive spin on it. I want to wallow in it a little longer.

I feel a sudden swish of air, but I don't move. I'm lying in the same position, but the blanket is no longer covering me. I re-focus my eyes to find Alice at the foot of my bed, holding my neatly folded comforter in her arms. She sets it down on the bench at the foot of my bed and her wide smile falls. I knew I looked like hell, and the look on her face is all the confirmation I need.

"Bella! What's wrong?!"

Alice moves toward me at a slow human pace, but her increasing close proximity makes me nervous and I jump back, sitting against my wooden headboard. Alice's expression changes from concern to sadness and she begins to approach me again. She walks around to the left side of my bed, the side I'm stationed on. I wait until she's fully on the side of the bed and about to reach out to hug me before I bolt. I stand upright atop my mattress.

"Stop it, Alice. Just—leave me alone."

My words come out rushed, nervous. Alice is pouting, but not in that playful way she often does to manipulate the other party into conceding. She's pouting because I seem to be afraid of her. I don't have to be a mind reader or a psychic to know what my reaction looks like from the outside. In truth, I just want space. I need to be left alone long enough to process what I've learned—and I can't do that with everybody hovering, and hover, they will.

"Bella, please, you're scaring me."

Her voice is gentle and meant to be calming, but it's not working on me this time.

"Please, Alice."

Tears begin to sting my eyes once more and I back up towards the right side of my bed, terrified I'm going to fall off and look even more like a fool than I already do. I've now resorted to begging.

"Please, just—give me some space."

I turn around long enough to jump off the bed, before turning back to Alice. She is exhibiting great self control by staying where she is and not actively attempting to follow me. I hope she continues with it. I back up so my back is flush against my door.

"I need to be alone."

I'm still crying and I feel ridiculous. This is Alice of all people, and I'm acting like she's out to get me. I just can't get over the immense betrayal I feel burning inside of me. Alice doesn't move, she doesn't nod, and she doesn't do anything at all to stop me. She just stands there, watching me. I reach behind me and grab the knob, and in a flash I am running out of my room, sobbing and flying down the stairs.

Two flights of stairs later and I'm on the ground floor. I'm looking at the open kitchen on my right up ahead to see Esme in the process of making my breakfast, and Carlisle beside her, both staring at me. Without missing a beat, Emmett and Rosalie appear on the right up ahead from the living room. All four of them are staring at me expectantly. I just shake my head and start to run again.

"Bella! Stop!"

I hear Alice calling me from the top of the stairs, on the second floor landing, but I continue on. I run past the traitorous onlookers and down the wide, open hall towards the music room where Edward's precious piano is staged. We've only been in this house a few months, and I know it's big, but this just seems ridiculous. I can hear Alice's nervous steps behind me. She's keeping a much-appreciated human pace. I reach the music room on my left and dart inside, crossing the room at my best speed and manage to get the sliding glass door open with ease.

I stumble over the threshold marking your departure from the house, but quickly regain my balance and continue to run across the back deck. I reach the very end of the deck, one foot in mid-air , about the take the descent down the stairs into the lush grass below when I feel smooth, marble arms wrap around my torso and hold me back. I push off of the arms, trying to break free, but it's no use. It never is.

"Bella, you were going to fall on the second stair and crack your head open. There would have been blood everywhere."

It's Alice and she's dragging me back onto the deck, feet away from the stairs. I want to be angry with her for coming after me, but I know better. Everyone's safety is at risk if I crack my head open. I really can't put Jasper in a position to deal with that as he's the most vulnerable to human blood. She unwraps her arms from around my torso once I'm steady on my feet. I keep my head down, not wanting to face her. The tears are still streaming from my eyes, and I feel trapped in my own home. I realize I'm not even wearing shoes, and it would likely only be a matter of second before I cut my foot on something anyhow.

Alice reaches her arm out to smooth my hair from my face but I flinch back, not wanting to be touched.

"Bella, what happened?"

Don't give in. Don't give in. Don't give in.

I clench my fists at my sides, trying to control the overwhelming emotions I feel inside of me.

"Why didn't anybody tell me?"

Half of me wants to give Alice a chance to spill the beans herself, prompted only by the premonition of my next question; the other half of me wants her to play dumb so I can go postal.

"Tell you what, Bella?"

Ah, so she's playing dumb.

"You know what, Alice!"

I look up into her eyes as I scream, less than two feet from her face.

"I heard you guys! I heard you!"

Alice's face scrunches quickly before smoothing her features out and regaining a sense of composure. I'm still screaming, and quickly moving to hysterical.

"I know, Bella. What exactly did you hear?"

Oh, that does it.

"I heard Rosalie! I heard her say I'm not normal. I'm dying and nobody had the courtesy to tell me!"

The second Rose's name is off my tongue, she and Emmett are at the sliding glass door along with Carlisle and Esme. I turn to face the onlookers, pointing at Rosalie.

"You! You are all about honesty and you can't even tell the poor fucking human that her days are numbered!?"

Rosalie looks down as though she's ashamed of herself.

She should be!

Now I turn my attention to Carlisle. He's the one I'm really angry with. I turn slightly to my left, pointing right at him, meeting his pleading, golden eyes.

"And you! You're supposed to be my father, and my doctor! What the hell! What, were you just never going to tell me?!"

I see Esme's eyes narrow. I know she doesn't take well to back talk, and normally she would ground me for my outburst; but really, she's in no position to chastise me right now.

"Bella, why don't you and I go into my study and talk… calmly?"

Carlisle walks through the open door and onto the deck, extending a hand towards me. I back away a few inches. I'm not planning on running; I just don't want him to think I'll be giving in that easily. I look at Alice, whose eyes are glossy. She would be crying if she were able.

"I don't want to talk calmly! I want to yell!"

I flail my arms around in protest at the idea of talking calmly. Carlisle must be joking, right? I mean, only a bunch of vampires who were waiting for this moment would be calm right now. Now I look totally ridiculous and I can't help myself. I'm having a meltdown and there's nothing that can help. My eyes are burning, my voice is cracking, and it's cold as hell out here. I'm barefoot and barely clothed, and I'm the only one who's affected by it.

Damn immortals.

I throw my arms in the air and slap them down on my knees. I don't know why I'm doing this, but it seems to be centering me; so even if I do look like a nut, I keep doing it. Swish in the air, slap on my knees. Repeat. I throw my arms in the air once more, but this time I keep them outstretched as I let out an ear-drum shattering scream. Our closest neighbor lives miles away and it's unlikely they'll be able to hear me, even in the quiet of the morning. I'm sure the immortals can hear wildlife, or their snacks as I like to refer to them, scampering through the forest; trying desperately to escape the piercing scream.

Eventually my voice gives out on me and my high-pitched tantrum ends in a slight cough. My throat is aching, but I'll be damn if I'm walking in that house, past them right now. At some point in the past few moments, the onlookers have retreated from sight and left me alone with Alice. I look into her butterscotch eyes and shake my head.

"Why?"

My voice is much softer and not so angry; it's just laced with hurt. Alice looks down, ashamed. For two people so different, she and Rosalie look near identical with their heads bowed in shame.

"Everything we did, we thought it was for the best."

I begin to protest but she kindly asks me to listen.

"Bella, please calm down."

"Why does everybody want me to calm down!"

I'm screaming again, arms flailing about, and I think I'm even jumping up and down a bit. This would be really embarrassing if I weren't dying and in the middle of a meltdown about it. In this time of crisis, hysterics seem totally acceptable.

"She's right, darlin'. Let her get it out."

I look to my sliding glass door to see Jasper standing there. His very presence calms me, even though I know he's not using his gift to do so. Jasper is a great brother, and always seems to know what to say.

"We can't drop a bomb on her like this and expect her to be calm."

"Thanks."

I let my head slump down and my anger dissipates. I'm not ready to calm down, but my body and mind can't seem to go on anymore. I walk the two feet to the Adirondack chair that overlooks the forest, and slump my tired body into it. Jasper walks up beside me and presents me with a water bottle. I look up to him, giving him a grateful half-smile as I bring the already-opened bottle to my mouth and empty it out in several large gulps. The cool water is welcome on my burning throat and I'm suddenly more grateful now than ever, to have Jasper in my life.

The warring emotions are dragging me down. I feel so loved and cared for that not just one or two, but seven vampires have devoted so much of their own existence's caring for one frail human; but I also feel flashes of anger that they hid this from me. I think I have a right to know about my own medical condition. Don't I? Jasper crouches down and places his right hand on my shoulder.

"Bella, I know it doesn't mean anything right now, but we really are so very sorry you had to find out like this."

I nod, wiping away stray tears that are still slowly slipping from my eyes. Alice crouches down on my other side and places a gentle kiss on my temple.

"Isabella Marie Swan, we love you. Truly. We just didn't know how to address the issue."

I nod again as the tears flow more freely. This is ridiculous. How can I have any bodily fluids left to still me crying?

"Swan Cullen."

I manage to squeak out. I look at Alice, who smiles broadly.

"You guys may suck, but I'm still a Cullen."

"You don't know how good it is to hear that."

I crane my neck to see Carlisle, but Jasper and Alice are flanking my sides. I can't see his face, but I can hear the smile in his voice. Of course Carlisle would be happy to hear that I haven't disowned them.

"Jazz, let's leave Bella and Carlisle to talk."

Alice and Jasper leave in a flash and Carlisle appears at the foot of my chair. I move to sit on my feet and motion for Carlisle to sit at the end. The angle of the chair would be uncomfortable for a human, but not a vampire. Really, I just want to bring him down to my eye level so we can really talk.

"Would you like to start or shall I?"

He smiles at me, almost sadly. I sigh and shrug.

"I don't really have anything else to say."

It's true. I really don't know what I would say if he prompted me to.

"Will you listen as I speak? Once I've said my peace, you can say yours. I think this will go better if you allow me to explain myself for the choices I've made."

"Where's mom?"

Before the word is even fully out of my mouth, Esme is seated next to Carlisle at the end slope of the chair.

"I'm right here, honey."

I look at Esme, giving her a sad smile, before turning my attention back to Carlisle.

"I'll listen."

"Isabella, I—"

"We."

Esme cuts in, always eager to defend her husband.

"… We considered telling you sooner. We should have told you sooner. When you were very small, we knew you wouldn't understand. As you grew older, we continued the research; convinced that by the time we did tell you, that we would have a cure for it."

I can't really argue with his logic, but I really want to. I absolutely loathe my father when he's right—which is most of the damn time.

"What 'it', dad? What's wrong with me?"

"You have a rare blood disorder, Bella"

Clearly, I'm aware of that. _That_ doesn't tell me anything. Esme sighs and places a hand on my knee in an attempt to comfort me. I'm glad she can't read my mind because her hand is cold and it's already cold outside, and I don't want to go inside before this is settled. I'm so far beyond exhausted, I'm sure if I were to go inside, I'd fall asleep before we even got to Carlisle's office. I just want to get this over with and then retreat to my room where I can drift off to sleep.

"Nothing is wrong with you, darling, you're just- different."

I eye my mother suspiciously. The very root of her logic is flawed.

_If I'm dying, then there most certainly is something wrong with me!_

I want to scream. They're both dancing around my questions and it's making me even more nervous than I already am.

"'Splain."

"Your blood, your blood makes you different."

"Uh huh... "

I make a hand rolling motion for him to continue his explanation as I sit, not so patiently, and wait.

"I think it's time we tell you a little bit about your mom and dad… Do you remember the talk we had with you about your blood condition?"

The cool morning breeze is blowing on my cold, human skin. I force myself to pretend like I'm not actually dying of frost bite out here. Okay, frost bite might be a bit dramatic. It's probably only around fifty degrees—give or take.

"You remember when we went over what makes your blood special?"

"Yeah. You said something about platelets and red blood cell counts... but I don't remember the specifics."

… _because this doesn't make a dying girl freak out._

"The specifics are just medical jargon and aren't really important right now. What is important is for you to remember the talk we had about your blood eating away at itself?"

"Yeah, you said I might need a transfusion in the future... wait... do I need a transfusion?"

Immediately, I start breathing hard and fresh tears stream down my cheek. Carlisle reaches over and wipes my cheeks, offering me a comforting, but sad, smile.

"No, not yet, darling."

_Not yet? That is not comforting, dad!_

"Bella,"

Esme inches up toward me and runs her fingers through my hair, pushing it from my face, and she cups my chin.

"Your mom - you remember us telling you about Renee? Renee had the same blood condition."

_I knew it!_

"Well, Renee developed some special senses before she passed away- like you, she developed a very strong ear."

_Wait- what?!_

My eyes are wide, and I realize that not only have I verbalized my thoughts, I've shouted them as well. Carlisle and Esme both let out a small giggle at my outburst. She removes her hand from my chin and rubs my cheek gently.

"You don't realize it, because you live in a house full of vampires- but you are developing a very strong ear..."

"So what you're saying is, I can hear things that normal people can't?"

"Well, not normal- average. You, my dear, are special."

Esme always has a way of making even the craziest of news seem perfectly commonplace, it's really very comforting and it's allowing me to talk openly about this without panicking.

"So- how advanced is my hearing?"

"So eager... we can test it out sometime soon."

I swear Carlisle is looking at me like the cat who ate the canary—or more appropriately, the vampire who ate the peacock.

"So, is that it? I'm dying and I have excellent hearing?" I ask in a half mocking tone, trying to trivialize everything so I can better process it.

"We're not sure just yet- you're going to have to be the one to tell us that."

_Really? I was joking! Oh, hell._

"So I am dying like Renee died?"

Esme looks at Carlisle. We seem to be getting into territory she's uncomfortable in.

"Yes, she died. But that, in no way, means you will suffer the same fate."

I look at Carlisle speculatively, unsure of how truthful he is actually being.

"You, my darling Isabella Marie, will live on. You have a mother's promise."

"But- if Renee had the same blood condition I have, and she died... how do you know I'll be okay? How do you know I won't die young, too?"

Carlisle puts on his best doctor face and uses his kindest voice—the one reserved for very sticky situations… like when he had to explain my period to me.

"There are no guarantees, your condition is rare. But you have an excellent team behind you, and you have what Renee did not- you have us."

Esme smiles and kisses my forehead, I lean in, welcoming my mother's touch.

"How long do I have?"

Carlisle breaks from his professional exterior and grins at me.

"You have forever."

I know he's referring to changing me, and though the idea of being with my mom and dad forever is the most welcome of thoughts, I can't smile because it's brought about under such depressing conditions.

"I have one last question—please don't lie to me."

Esme looks to Carlisle, silently warning him to be truthful with me. I know that look. From an outside perspective, it looks like Carlisle is the decision maker—but truth be told, it's Esme who decides which decisions Carlisle gets to make and which ones he doesn't; but once he's spoken—she backs him.

"I heard Edward say that he's been doing research on my condition, for like, my entire life."

I stare at both of them expectantly. I know the question I'm trying to ask, but it's not coming out. Esme nods, suddenly suspiciously nervous.

"Why would he do that if he hates me?"

"Edward does not hate you, darling. Everyone's blood has a different scent, and you smell very sweet, and our dear Edward has quite the sweet tooth."

_What?_

"Edward wants to snack on me!"

Carlisle and Esme burst into a fit of laughter. I stare at them incredulously. I'm really glad they've found humor in the situation and all, but I'm still in a fit of panic over here. It's Carlisle who regains his composure first.

"Well, he doesn't _want_ to, and that's why he keeps away. You know how you plot ways to tear Emmett limb from limb when he steals your Raisinettes? Well, Edward… he..."

Carlisle is at a loss for words and Esme jumps in, still giggling.

"You are like Raisinettes to Edward."

Only my vampire mother would find humor in this. Her firstborn wants to drain the life of her youngest, and she's in a fit of giggles. Well, if I had any bit of sanity when I entered this house, surely its gone now after living with this bunch.

"So… Edward wants to snack on me more than the rest of you?"

I give Esme a pleading look, begging her to be serious for a moment, but the devious smile playing at her lips tells me she has other plans.

"I don't really want to snack on you, darling… well—maybe a nibble…"

"MOM!"

I inch back in the Adirondack and cling to the arms. I don't honestly fear that Esme will bite me, but joking about it right now is not helping me calm down one bit. Carlisle stifles a laugh and pats my knee.

"Isabella, you look exhausted. You need your rest."

I nod, knowing this is Carlisle's way of ending the conversation for the time being. Truthfully, I'm ready to become a recluse for the next few days, anyhow. I just want back in my bed and to be left alone until I have made some sense of all of this. Just as Carlisle and Esme stand and move to walk back in the house, I realize there's one last thing that's been bothering me.

"Didn't you guys hear me come downstairs, or at least, go back up?"

Carlisle grins plain as day and stands straighter than before. I think he was expecting a question with a more difficult answer than this.

"Actually, we did not, Isabella. Had we been alerted to your presence, I can assure you, we would have spoken with you about this immediately."

I nod, taking in his words.

"… but, I was loud going back up. I wasn't quiet… how…"

I'm half speaking to myself, half directing the question to Carlisle.

"Well then, it looks like you're quite the stealthy girl, now aren't you. I suppose that is another ability you've acquired."

"But I thought only vampires could sneak up on other vampires?"

Esme smiles like she just opened a gift she's been waiting on for decades and takes Carlisle's hand.

"Perhaps."

With those parting words, Esme walks Carlisle back into the house at an unhurried human speed.

"Back to bed with you, Isabella Marie. That is a mother's orders, young lady."

I laugh, because Esme makes no sense one minute, and then the next she's perfectly clear in her words. I shake my head and remove myself from the wooden chair. Stretching out my tired muscles, I decide that my parents are right—I do need my rest. But I need my space, too. I need time to work this out, to understand what all of this means. When I've had enough sleep, and a clearer head, I need to sit down with Carlisle to get some more direct answers—but I can't do that now. I won't be any good to function until I give in to the tears I've been holding back since the start of our conversation. I yawn and blink rapidly, forcing my eyes to remain open. I barely have enough energy to walk, let alone think. After _the incident_ and now this, my body is begging for a break.

_All I want is a break._

With that final thought, I trudge my way back into the house and up to my room where I plan to hide out until I have a slightly better understanding of what awaits me.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I do own Edward's groans and Bella's bitching. That shit's all mine.

A/N: _Follow me on Twitter! JC_Emery!_

**Bite to Break Skin**

**Chapter Five**

**Edward**

_ … It's Thursday morning, eight a.m. My Isabella has been holed up in her room for the past forty-seven hours, thirty-four minutes,_

I take my eyes off of my journal momentarily to record the seconds from Isabella's alarm clock.

… _Twenty-seven, no twenty-nine seconds. Alice delivered her breakfast at seven a.m., sharp. Eight ounces of organic, country-style orange juice, eight ounces of mountain-spring water, one piece of whole wheat toast, cut in quarters, served with a heart-healthy margarine substitute, and raspberry jam on the side. For her meat, she has two white-meat, turkey sausage links, and two slices of low-fat Canadian bacon; and as she requested, two eggs, over easy._

… _After consulting a credible medical journal in Carlisle's den, I decided that Isabella's typical breakfast consisting of brightly colored cereal rings, covered in sugar and flavored to resemble various fruit flavors, was not a healthy breakfast. Even Esme's specialty, bacon and eggs with white toast was lacking in healthy nutritional content. If it weren't so wholly frustrating, I might find the level of ignorance running amuck in this house regarding Isabella's nutrition to be laughable at best. I will, it seems, have to be the one to do the grocery shopping and cooking from this point forward._

_ … This morning's experiment in cooking Isabella's breakfast was a sweet sort of torture. I very much enjoyed engaging in such a domestic act for my love. Knowing that by completing this simple act, by preparing this food to be palatable for her fragile human body, I am ensuring her sustained strength. The very idea brings me much excitement, and I vow to become a gourmet chef before the week is through. It is my hope, that in time, the horrid smell of the human food will grow on me, and I will not have to hold my breath for the entire duration of the task. _

I place my pen back in its holder on the side of my journal and close it up, binding it shut with the leather strap. I reposition myself in the tree and turn my attention back to Isabella. She has been restless, hiding under her comforter for the past forty-one minutes, and I don't like it one bit. She's covered entirely - not even a soft little toe is poking out. At least, when she was eating her breakfast, she sat upright in bed, and I could see her.

I pull my journal back out and make a note.

_… Note to Self: Research appropriate temperature to turn heat up to in the house so that Isabella will no longer need her comforter. In fact, if I keep the temperature warm enough, I may be able to convince Esme to ban blankets from the house, entirely._

I smile to myself. My brief moment of arrogance ends quickly when I see Isabella stirring again. I lean forward in the tree as I see her throw the comforter off of her body, half of it spilling to the floor, where it will remain until Esme goes into her room and tidies up. Isabella is sitting upright and she looks perturbed. Her eye brows are knit together in thought. I try to sneak my way into her mind to know what she might be thinking, but her guard is up and she's blocking me. I don't think she knows that, though.

Isabella rubs her eyes with the heels of her hands and yawns. I can practically feel my dead heart lifting as she stands up and stretches each of her muscles. Isabella has not done this in days. Perhaps this means the fog is lifting. I can only hope so. For the past couple of days she has been lying in that bed, switching between crying and sleeping - and often crying in her sleep. I haven't left this tree, perfectly situated to watch her, since she finished her talk with Carlisle early Tuesday morning. I knew she would eventually work through the pain and heartbreak, but those forty-seven hours have been the longest in the entirety of my existence.

After avoiding Isabella for so long, I could not very well just show up in her room and hold her. That would be for my benefit, not hers anyhow. If I had done that, I would have likely made the grieving process worse. If she knew, when she knows, that I am responsible for this, she won't want me to comfort her. She'll likely run to Alice or Esme to be consoled, and even if I sought her out—she would reject me. Isabella would want nothing to do with me.

I carefully orchestrated her life in this exact fashion. My plan had played out perfectly, with the exception of her growing infatuation with the image she's created of me in her imagination. Carlisle has watched over Isabella, carefully monitoring her health. Alice has kept constant watch on her future—down to warning Jasper about little things like Bella tripping, and more major things like, Bella cutting herself.

Jasper kept Isabella calm when she was re-introduced to us as a pre-teen, and has done well with keeping her emotionally level. With Isabella's condition, her emotional stability is critical. When she gets upset, her abilities enhance. That is why I am camping out in this tree, and have been for the past couple of days.

I am not stalking Isabella, as I have been accused of doing. I am carefully observing her state of health and monitoring her heart. I have procured two medical degrees. As a doctor, it is my responsibility to care for my patient, even by these unorthodox means.

My patient, my love, retreats to her en-suite bathroom and starts the shower. I close my eyes and focus in on the sounds. She is washing her hair. This is an excellent sign and I re-open my journal and record her progress. Ignoring one's hygiene is a sign of depression, and Isabella hasn't showered since the Monday morning. I quickly consider sneaking into her room and making her bed. Isabella's messy nature drives me nuts. If only I could just spend my days tidying up after her, I would be a content man. Well, perhaps not contentman, but a somewhat less morose man, at least.

I stop my fantasies of domestic bliss with Isabella, and bring myself back to reality. The reality of my existence is that I should not entertain such fantasies. My greatest want is for Isabella to live a normal, human life. I want for Isabella the life that the rest of us could not have. But that is not all I want. The other, less altruistic side of me, wants to consume her.

I want to be the person she confides in, I want to be the person she laughs with, laughs at, even. I want to be the man she loves, I want to be the man whose ring she wears, and whose children she bears. But that is all it is—a fantasy. Even if I fail and am unable to find a way to save Isabella's humanity, once she knows the truth—that I stood at the helm of the ship that has deceived her for her entire life; she will reject me, and it will be no less than I deserve.

Forcing myself from thoughts of how Isabella would be in a position to bear my children, I move again in the tree. From my previous position, the crotch of my jeans was becoming snug, so I opt for a more relaxed pose. The water shuts off in Isabella's bathroom and a few moments later she walks back into her bedroom in a towel. The towel is smaller than it should be to adequately cover her body, and yet, also much too big. I adjust the crotch of my jeans once more. This goes beyond a doctor's monitoring of his patient's health, but I can't turn away. I close my eyes in an attempt to give Isabella some semblance of privacy, but that only lasts a moment. My excellent self control doesn't seem to exist in this moment.

The teenage boy inside is cursing the gentleman I was raised to be. I pause long enough to realize that my thirst has completely subsided and in its place, a hormonal pig has surfaced.

I smile at her choice. She is wearing a pair of tattered, old jeans and a baggy sweater. Her long brown hair is tied up in a messy bun on her head. I note that her hair is still wet and I grimace. She is likely to catch a cold if she seriously entertains the idea of gallivanting around with wet hair in the cool morning air. I am going to have to speak to Esme about her supervision of Isabella's health. It is a good thing that Alice and I will be staying in Forks permanently. This reminds me, I'll have to check with Carlisle to find out when Alice and I start at Forks High School.

I watch as Isabella finds a worn pair of black, low-top Converse All-Stars. I smile because Alice will be disgusted with Bella's clothing choices, and considering the state of their relationship—there is nothing she can say about it any time soon.

Isabella grabs a small black wristlet from her desk and casually walks out of her room. When I hear her footsteps on the second floor, I decide that it's safe to enter her room. I clutch my journal and hop through the trees to reach the one closest to her sliding glass door and I slide the door open in silence. Thankfully, I had the foresight to grease the door before taking my position in the tree.

As I slip into Isabella's personal space, I'm hit with her scent. The overwhelming scent causes me to pause and take in a deep breath before shutting the door and surveying the room. I cannot resist the urge to strip her bed of the dirty linens, and fold her comforter neatly on the trunk at the foot of her bed. I notice her worn clothing is strewn about around the room and I gather it up into the laundry bin.

_Messy, messy._

I shake my head and continue to straighten up before I come to my senses and realize that I'm crossing some sort of boundary here. So I stop what I'm doing before I have a chance to shampoo her carpet, and I walk out of the room; a little upset that I'm leaving her potent scent behind. I can hear Bella downstairs in the kitchen, asking to borrow Carlisle's car. She has plans to drive to Port Angeles and poke around town and in the bookstore. Carlisle's car is the only one she's comfortable driving. He agrees and tells her the keys are on the hook in the foyer. Not one of us is comfortable objecting to Isabella's wishes right now.

I make my way down to the second floor landing in relative vampire silence and stand there, listening to her engaging in brief conversation with Carlisle and Esme. I both smell and hear Rosalie come up behind me.

"Man, you're one sick, puppy."

I turn to face her and roll my eyes.

"What, did you watch her in the shower, too?"

Rosalie starts snickering at me and I'm embarrassed because I had to fight with my better half so that I wouldn't play peeping tom while she was in such a state of undress. Rosalie has caught me completely off guard by her teasing and how on target she actually is. I blink out of nervousness, unable to respond without giving myself away further.

I see Rosalie's arms stretch out at a near-immeasurable speed as she hits my chest and sends me tumbling down the stairs to the first floor. Had she not embarrassed me first, I would have been prepared and would have stopped her; but Rosalie knows exactly how to throw me off. I hit the first floor with a loud thump and recover quickly enough to evade Bella's attention as I rush and hide behind the island in the kitchen.

Rosalie comes sauntering down the stairs with her school books laughing. Bella looks at her in confusion.

"You've got a stalker, human."

Bella quirks up her eyebrow, questioning Rosalie's statement; but she says nothing.

_Thank God._

Rosalie zooms out of the house to join the others for her second period class. Why she's running late, I'm not sure, but I can guess that possibly she was waiting to see if Bella would be going today. Bella follows behind Rosalie out the front door and toward Rosalie's BMW and Carlisle's Mercedes.

The second the girls are in their respective vehicles and pulling away, Carlisle and Esme burst into a fit of laughter. I stand and scowl at the two of them.

"Very funny, laugh it up."

"Honey, if you just surrender, the torture will stop."

I shake my head at Esme. She's been waiting for me to declare myself to Isabella since her birth when Alice had the vision of us as mates. Through the years, Esme has directed Bella to make choices she knows I would make for myself. Esme has introduced her to Debussy and classic British novels. Both things I very much enjoy. But the fact of the matter is that Isabella _is_ my mate, and the only thing I can do to change that is to keep her heart beating.

"Son, I respect you as a man, and as my equal. But as your father, as your maker, as the man who is stuck with your mother—I beg of you to just, just consider facing Bella."

Carlisle grins and Esme laughs and takes a swing at his chest. He moves too quickly and catches her in an embrace as he crashes his lips to hers.

_Like a couple of teenagers…_

I clear my throat and capture their attention.

"Actually, Carlisle—since Alice and I have chosen to remain in Forks, I think it best if we both enroll in the high school along with the others."

Esme breaks from Carlisle's embrace as she rushes towards me and hugs me with all her might. I laugh as I cautiously hug her back. I don't want her to think I'm declaring myself to Isabella.

"I think that is a very good plan, Edward. I'm thrilled to hear of your decision. I will call Mrs. Cope in administration this morning to enroll the pair of you."

He pauses for a moment and I hear the questions he wants to ask rolling around in his head.

_Edward—I suppose this means you will show yourself to Bella?_

I nod.

_Have you mulled over how you plan to do so?_

I shrug and decide to answer him aloud as Esme is scowling at us.

"I thought I would ask Alice to help me determine the best route to take in introducing myself to Isabella. Now, if you'll excuse me—I will be taking a short trip to Port Angeles. There is a certain danger-magnet en-route and the roads are slick. I doubt my mother or father would ever forgive me should something befall the baby of the family."

I smile, genuinely, and walk towards the front door.

"Darling—wouldn't it have been more economical for the two of you to commute to Port Angeles?"

I laugh.

"Since when are you concerned about being economical, mom?"

I grin at her and turn to the key rack in the foyer. I reach for my keys, where I left them, on the second hook from the right to find it empty. I look to the far left hook, where Carlisle stores his keys, to find them firmly in place. Without taking pause, I run out the front door for confirmation. Carlisle's black Mercedes is still parked in the drive, but my Volvo is missing. I rush to the garage to see Rosalie's M3 is missing. That only leaves one culprit—Isabella.

"Damn it."

I grind my teeth and take off on foot at lightning speed. I run alongside the highway, masked by the trees to avoid being seen by passersby. Just past Sappho, a little less than halfway to Port Angeles, I catch up with the car thief and her stolen prize. I sigh, grateful that at the very least she is driving the speed limit.

Peeking at her through the passenger side car window, I see that she's in deep concentration. She looks worried and a little guilty. She should feel guilty. If only she had asked, she could have borrowed the car. Okay, that's not true. I wouldn't have allowed her to take the car only because it would have fueled her creative imagination where it concerns me. Every time I give the girl an inch, she takes a mile—_or my ornate French pen from the nineteenth century_. If I were to let her borrow my car, next I would have found her sleeping on my leather sofa and refusing to move.

I'm so focused on Isabella and her state of guilt that I haven't noticed that it has started to rain. I continue to follow alongside the car from the cover of the forest. Within minutes the rain is pelting down and it's making me nervous. I hear lightning strike a few miles away, followed closely by thunder. I don't take my eyes off the silver Volvo, carrying the most precious of cargo. Isabella jumps slightly from the thunder as she fiddles with the speed of the windshield wipers.

I hear my mobile ringing from my front jean pocket, but I don't answer it. I can't risk taking my eyes off the nervous girl behind the wheel. The rain pelts harder and faster and it's almost completely obstructing Isabella's line of sight. I look up to see a sharp curve fifty-two feet ahead. I do the calculations and determine there is no way for Isabella to see what awaits her.

Without giving it a second thought, I race ahead of the Volvo just as Isabella hits a deep puddle and hydroplanes as the car speeding towards the edge of the cliff. I gasp, seeing what is about to happen and I dart into the highway and place myself between the Volvo and the cliff. Two seconds later, I am bending down and placing my hands on the Volvo's hood, stopping it in place. The steel bends beneath my hands, contorting to their shape and nearly trapping them in place. I yank my right hand from the twisted hood and lean to the side as the car's back end is now flying towards me. I lose my footing temporarily and stumble backwards, but quickly catch myself and the out of control automobile before it can get any further. Finally it stops fighting me and bends to my will, only feet from the edge of the cliff.

I look to the driver's seat to see Isabella wide-eyed and in a state of shock. This is the first time she's looked at me since she was little, and the feeling is indescribable. I've heard my family speak ad naseum, about the flutter in their stomachs when their mate's eyes meet their own. I've read books about love and romance and loss, and I have attended seminars on Shakespeare's works.

But nothing I have heard or see has prepared me for this feeling.

I am stripped bare, naked, and seen for who I am; as Edward Masen the human inside, and Edward Cullen, the dominant monster—both halves that create the whole. I feel seen for the first time. Not as a son, or a companion. Not as a brother, or a friend. Isabella is staring at me, looking into my very core, and for the first time in my existence, I feel warm. How strange it is to be so barren, so stripped, and yet feel finally warm. If I knew what it would feel like to be complete, to be whole, without any missing pieces, or failed dreams—I would declare that in this moment, I feel like a whole man.

"Edward…"

Isabella mutters my name in astonishment. I freeze and just continue to stare at her. She is beautiful, even in her confusion, even through the rain-pebbled windshield. I regain my senses and rush to the driver's side and fling the door open, tearing it from its hinges and throwing it to the side. Isabella's head snaps around to face me, shocked, confused, and somewhat fearful.

"Are you alright?"

She nods quickly, too quickly. Her heart is racing and her eyes are unfocused. I can see she's made herself dizzy with her swift movements and she reaches a hand up to hold her head still.

"I'm going to remove you from the car, Isabella."

I lean over her, careful to avoid making contact, and unlatch her seatbelt. She untangles her arms from the belt and winces with the movements. I pick her up, careful not to cause her anymore harm, and bring her out into the rain. Looking around, I nervously contemplate what to do next.

"Edward…"

Isabella mutters again, this time very softly.

"I'm here, Isabella. Are you hurt?"

She doesn't respond and it makes me nervous. I prop her in my arms bridal style.

_Not the time to be thinking that way, Edward!_

Freeing one of my arms, I reach for my mobile phone to dial Carlisle, but before I can, the phone rings. It's Alice. I really want to speak to Carlisle first, but I'll bet it was Alice trying to call while I was running alongside the car, and she needs to know that Bella is alright.

"Is she okay?"

"Yes, Alice. Isabella is fine, I got to her in time. The Volvo is totaled, but I stopped it before it could reach the cliff."

"Oh. Oh. Thank you, Edward. Thank you."

I looked down at Isabella, she has wrapped her warm arms around my neck and is clutching to me tightly. I withhold the smile that is pulling at my lips. We should always be so close. I have to push the thoughts aside and remind myself why we can't be close—why we can't be anything other than distant siblings. I cannot allow myself to think of Isabella as my mate. The rain ceases, thankfully, as Isabella was starting to get cold from all the wet.

"Edward, Carlisle is on his way. He will be there in 12 seconds. I need to warn you—"

"What is it, Alice?"

"Bella won't want anyone else, Edward. She's seen you now. She's seen her mate. Please do not begrudge her this. Not today at least. If she asks for you—please, go to her."

I shake my head in frustration. Alice is referring to the bond between mates. Once a vampire has seen their mate, that is who they will rely on for their every need for the rest of their existence. If Alice is right, Bella will not want to let go of me as long as she's scared and recovering from this experience.

I sigh.

"Of course, Alice."

There is nothing else I can say. I could never deny Isabella something that she needs so intuitively; and the kicker is—she doesn't even know she needs it yet. It's just a part of who she is. I hang up the phone and look up to see Carlisle's black Mercedes slowly approaching. He comes to a complete stop ten feet from the totaled Volvo, parks and gets out followed by Esme. They approach us and Esme reaches out for Bella, but her grip on my neck tightens and I shake my head, telling Esme not to take her from me.

Despite the rejection, a smile plays at Esme's lips and she steps back.

"I'll get Isabella out of the rain now. We might want to do something about the Volvo and the door I tore off."

Carlisle and Esme nod, give one another a quick look, and Esme retrieves her mobile phone to call Emmett so that he and his Jeep can tow the Volvo home. I turn around and slip Isabella and myself into the backseat of the Mercedes. Esme opens the driver's side door and gets behind the wheel.

"Your father is going to wait for Emmett so that he can ward off any curious bystanders and prevent anymore potential accidents."

I nod and turn my attention back to Isabella, who is curled up at my side, clutching my arm. We ride in silence back to the house and carry her up to her bedroom where I gently place her on her bed and attempt to remove myself from her grasp, but she clings tightly to my neck.

"Edward…"

I sigh rather melodramatically. I'm trying to play it off like this is no big deal, when it is in fact, the second most significant event to happen in all of my existence. The first being the day she was born.

"I'm here, Bella."

I crouch down in front of her so that we're now eye level. She's so fragile, I worry that I'll hurt her if I get carried away even for a split second. Gently, I bring my right hand to her chin and I direct her face so that she's looking right at me. I take in a sharp breath.

_ She's beautiful._

I sit there stunned for a few moments. I've always known Bella was beautiful. This is nothing new. But never before have I been so close to her, touching her, while her deep chocolate eyes are boring into my black ones. Bella sits, staring at me, as still and as silent as I am. I realize that Bella has stopped breathing and I force myself to cope with the situation at hand.

"Bella, we need to have Carlisle examine you. Is that alright?"

She shakes her head, eyes growing wider. I sigh again. I'm so terribly put out by having to touch her more than I already am. It's painful, really.

_Who am I kidding?_

I'm far more excited about the prospect of playing doctor with Bella than I should be. No practicing physician with actual patients would be this excited—and if he were, it would be breaking some type of conduct law, I just know it. Well, it's a good thing, I suppose, that I don't have to adhere to a code of conduct.

"Bella, if you won't allow Carlisle to examine you, I can have Rosalie do it."

She shakes her head again, clutching to me tighter. I thought I would at least give her the option of being examined by someone else in the house, and Rosalie does have a much neglected medical degree.

"Bella, if you won't allow Carlisle or Rosalie to examine you… I'll have to do it."

Before I can finish the sentence she's scowling at me. I think she's trying to look intimidating and bossy, but she's falling miserably short on both counts. If anything, Bella just looks, scared.

"Okay… but…"

Bella stops herself from continuing and takes her lower lip into her mouth.

_God, that's sexy._

_Now's not the time._

_ Well, it has been a hundred and ten years, dude._

_ Focus, focus, focus._

"Please finish your thought, Isabella."

I sit and wait patiently for a few moments before she draws in a deep breath and scrunches her face up, thus closing her eyes off to me.

"Just don't bite me."

I laugh nervously. Really, in this moment, her blood is the last thing on my mind. I have been distracted by her… other attributes.

"I have no desire to bite you, Isabella."

She doesn't find my joke funny and she smoothes out her face, scowling at me once more.

"Fine."

She sounds indignant.

_Do you want me to bite you?_

_ Women._

I shake my head and have the strong desire to pinch the bridge of my nose.

"Isabella, did you hit your head?"

I reach out to carefully examine her skull. She doesn't answer me, she just continues to scowl. I've been witness to these little moods of hers before, and usually they come at a regulated time each month, but that's a good two weeks off… just another reason it is best we remain distant family. I haven't even the slightest understanding of how the female brain works even when I can read their thoughts on a constant basis, let alone when I'm forced to guess. I can't even fathom how any man can make a relationship work with any female. They're all irrational and are controlled by their emotions rather than common sense.

"Your skull seems to be fine."

I move my fingers gently over her ribs. The close proximity to her breasts is unnerving me. I wonder if I could get away with a casual graze. That wouldn't be obvious, would it? Perhaps I'm just a clumsy vampire?

Nah.

I highly doubt that wouldn't escape her attention.

But if I'm quick….

The hormonal teenager within is diluting my sense of reason and I don't like it. No wonder teenage boys are such imbeciles. They're controlled by their anatomy. I let out a frustrated grunt when I realize that now I'm no better than they are. I've been reduced to calculating the chance of getting caught mid-graze.

I shake my head and look back up to Bella's face. She's still scowling.

Good God, give it a rest, woman!

"What?"

She just stares at me, not answering this question either. I just want her to stop looking at me like I'm the damn fool who nearly killed themselves in a car accident this morning. I decide to just continue on with the examination, though my temper is teetering now. What was she thinking taking my car?

"Are you hurting anywhere, Isabella?"

… Still scowling. Still not answering any questions. Still looking at me like I'm the suicidal one. My anger boils over and I unclasp her locked hands from behind my neck, push myself off her gently, and move to stand across the room.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed, Isabella? Taking my car without permission! It's a standard! Do you even know how to operate a standard?!"

"Was… your car was a standard. Now it's just mangled steel."

She smiles up at me in a taunting manner, pushing my self control even further. She does not realize the dangerous game she is playing by taunting me.

"Yes, that's right. You totaled my car! How do you plan to replace it?"

The smile disappears and her eyebrows knit together in anger. She's scowling again, but this time it's not out of irritation. She's downright angry.

"I don't! How dare you come in here, after years of ignoring me, and start bossing me around!"

I pinch the bridge of my nose and look down. This is ridiculous and we're not getting anywhere. My temper is cooling and really, I don't want to make this about the car. I could buy ten more just like it if I so choose. This isn't about a stupid car, this is about her safety.

"Isabella—I apologize for becoming angry with you. I'm not concerned about the car. I can easily get another one. What I am concerned about is you taking off in a vehicle you can barely drive and nearly killing yourself. You cannot risk your life so recklessly. You would have been much safer in Carlisle's vehicle, it's an automatic."

My voice is gentle and I'm trying to smooth things over with her. I really don't need her to be mad at me for the rest of her life. This is hard enough without her scowling at me.

"Does it matter? It's not like I've got much time left, anyway!"

"Don't say that. Never say that."

"Tell me, Edward, what is the difference if I die now, or if I let this 'condition' kill me?"

"You're not going to die."

"_**Yes I am**_."

"I will not allow it. You are not allowed to give in, do you hear me?"

I walk towards her quickly, staring her down, defying her to argue. This is my best look of intimidation. No human can challenge it. I am, in this mode, very much the predator. But Bella doesn't look afraid, she just looks upset. I can smell the salty tears that are about to slip from her eyes.

"You should have just let me die."

"How can you say that!"

I'm angry and a menacing growl escapes my chest. I worry because it would be normal for Bella to react out of fear and to panic. A vampire growling at a human is supposed to be utterly frightening. But she doesn't cower in fear, she doesn't hide, she doesn't react like a human.

Taking a vampire's stance, Bella leans forward, off the bed, with her feet firmly placed on the floor. Her arms are at her sides, tense and hands splayed out, ready to strike. Now I'm the one who is afraid. Bella lets out a warning in the form of a hiss. I've crossed a line by growling at her and this is my reminder that she won't accept it. I stand back in astonishment.

Did she really just hiss at me?

The entire thing, from my growl to her hiss takes a fraction of a second. She responded on instinct, not thought. I continue to watch her, surveying her reaction to what she just did, but she's not moving. A low, breathy hiss is still coming from her, and it's starting to scare me. Bella's hiss sounds like air and indignation and poison all at the same time. I look to her eyes and they've turned black.

As surprising as this is, I can't help but be turned on by it. My fragile, beautiful, Bella is hissing at me. I've seen Rosalie hiss at Emmett just before they excuse themselves to their bedroom. A hiss between mates is often used in foreplay, but I have to center myself so that I don't maul here right here and now. My lower half is stiff and unyielding for the moment. The commanding call of her hiss is enchanting. If vampires have a mating call, I suppose this would be it.

"_**What the fuck was that?!"**_

I snap out of my lascivious thoughts to see that Bella has changed her stance. She's standing completely erect, arms straight at her sides, looking afraid to move even an inch. Her eyes are chocolate brown once again and her face is flushed. Bella is frightened by her own abilities.

"Bella… you…"

"No."

I cock an eyebrow at her. This woman is going to drive me insane if she keeps it up. I want to shake her and force her into submission. She needs time to process this, but really, I wish it had never happened. She's a bright girl, surely she won't buy that humans can hiss like that.

"Bella… you hissed."

I'm nearly as stunned as she is. Keeping my distance will not be easy if she continues to hiss. I groan at the thought of her very first growl. The horny teenager within is currently praying to God that her first growl will be at me.

Please.

I sound pathetic, and really, I'm okay with that. I shake myself from my hormonal teenage thoughts again and I focus back on Bella. How human teenage males ever get anything done is beyond me. Bella's eyes are wide with shock and she's stopped breathing. I watch her with trepidation and slowly move towards her.

"Bella?"

Either the sound of my voice or my movement in her direction snaps her out of the fog and she starts breathing again, though it is erratic and frantic. If she weren't having any kind of reaction to this, I would worry. This is new and scary even in Bella's world, where she's being raised by vampires. I continue to creep towards her, hoping my close proximity doesn't frighten her.

"Bella, love, please calm down."

Bella's eyes meet mine and she starts bawling, her eyes producing a stream of tears. Soon her entire face is red and covered in her salty tears.

_I wonder how they taste._

_ Focus, Edward, focus._

I close the distance between us and reach down to wipe her tears and her sobbing stops. Feeling empowered that it is possibly my touch that calms her; I cup her chin and trace small circles with my thumb on her lower cheek. Her breathing slows to a peaceful rate and her eyes dry up.

"I don't understand."

"The hissing… the hissing is part of your bl… condition."

"I _still_ don't understand."

Lying to Bella is becoming increasingly difficult. She's asking direct questions that require direct answers—ones I'm not ready to give her. I let my head fall forward so that I'm looking at our feet, as I continue to rub soft circles on her cheek. Her shoes are worn and dingy and they look tiny as they stand less than a foot from my own. I indulge in a fleeting thought about what our shoe closet might look like. My size ten shoes next to her petite little seven's.

"Edward—"

Bella's voice is so small and broken. She sounds worn out and fed up and on the verge of giving up on everything entirely. I turn my head up and stare directly into her deep brown eyes. I'm crossing all sorts of self-imposed boundaries right now. Being this close to her, touching her, fantasizing about her, wanting her; but I can't turn away, I can't remove myself from the equation right now.

_I need her._

"Promise me you won't ever lie to me."

I feel my face spasm and my eyes narrow, and I can tell by the change of Bella's expression that I look to be in pain. I _am_ in pain, and I've done this to myself. I can't make this promise, but I also can't _not_ make this promise. I don't know how to deny her, especially when I can feel her warm skin and her beating heart beneath my hand.

"Please."

Her warm breath glides over my face as she's looking up at me, her posture righted with confidence and her eyes are commanding my attention—they never lost it. I nod because I'm too weak to deny her. I nod because I can't leave her, I can't let go of her, and I want more than anything to have a life with her. In this moment, my well thought-out plan to avoid Bella seems like the most foolish thing I could do.

"Of course, love."

_Stop calling her that!_

_ Keep it up and you might as well paint a damn sign on your forehead that says 'whipped'._

Bella nods in return, still seemingly a little out of it, and understandably so. Her eyes are locked in on mine, though they seem unfocused and slightly hazy. Hopefully this means she's missed the times I've slipped and called her 'love'. There's a long silence, three minutes and forty-one seconds to be exact. My eyes continue to stare into Bella's. I can't remove myself, and apparently neither can she. She's looking through me again, unabashedly, strong, beautiful, and confident, though in what, I'm not sure.

"What am I?"

I flinch. She isn't asking me _who_ she is, she is specifically asking me _what_ she is. I remain stoic and though I hate to do it, I break eye contact. I cannot lie to her, and I cannot divulge the truth to her, either. I stop breathing, close my eyes and remove my hand from her cheek. This isn't right. This is too soon. She was never supposed to know.

My trepidation is causing her alarm, I can smell the fear radiating off of her. I look back into her eyes to see they're wide and her face has turned a ghastly white.

"What kind of monster am I?"

Bella's voice is so small and her heart is nearly beating out of her chest. I swallow a mouthful of venom, and I know there is no getting out of it this time.

"Isabella, you are no more a monster than I am."

Another long silence passes as Bella tries to control her breathing and steady herself. She sways lightly on her feet, so I hold her by her shoulders and gently guide her to sit on her bed. Crouching before her, I'm conscious of my hands and their desire to wander to her knees… and elsewhere. Resisting temptation, I place them on either side of her, hanging onto the bed. I don't need to steady myself, I just want to be closer to her. It seems to comfort her, or at least, that's my excuse.

Finally recognition dawns on her and she utters the solitary word that tells me she understands. She finally knows what she is.

"Vampire…"


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I do own Edward's groans and Bella's bitching. That shit's all mine.

**Bite to Break Skin**

**Chapter Six**

**Bella**

_I can do this._

I take in a deep breath and open my eyes. I'm standing in front of my antique, stand-alone mirror in the corner of my room, nearest my bathroom door. It's just school. I'm just going to school—this shouldn't be so stressful! I look over my choices for the day. Jeans, sweater, shoes… _yes, Bella Swan Cullen… you look the same as you do every day._

I sigh. I may look the same, and I may actually _be_ the same, but I _feel_ different. I suppose that happens when you find out you're not quite human.

_Vampire hybrid._

I smile into the mirror. It even sounds cool. I remind myself to try to take this seriously. Edward was really angry with me yesterday when I giggled at the term. Before I can catch myself, I'm giggling again. I've never really been one to giggle, but I've been in a fit since Edward spilled the beans. He completely disapproves of how well I'm taking this, he doesn't understand that I can't bring myself to be terrified when he paces the room, pinches the bridge of his nose, and mutters under his breath. He looks so divine like that. I must find ways to incite this reaction from him again, and again, and again…

My fit of giggles is put to an immediate halt when I hear the velvety groan from across the hall. As much fun as it might be to irritate him, I really don't want to push my luck. Edward is here, and he's speaking to me, and I really don't want to jeopardize that. My greatest fear is that he's going to disappear. Something tells me that disappearing is just something he would do. I wonder for a moment if I should change into something a little more feminine.

_What would Edward like?_

_Brother, brother… he's your brother._

_Well, not… really… anyway._

I head into my walk-in-closet and rifle through the racks of clothes that I've never even looked at. There's so much in here, I don't quite know where to begin, so I just dive into a rack that seems to house my spring collection. I laugh at the fact that my closet has a _spring collection_. Only Alice would take my wardrobe this seriously. After a few moments of searching, I give up and exit the closet for my dresser across the room. I think that may have been the first time I've looked in this closet since we moved into this house. I'm half way to the dresser when my bedroom door swings open with such enthusiasm that the only person who could possibly be on the other side is Alice.

I smile when my sister, the nutcase, comes into view.

"Morning, Alice!"

Alice beams right back at me, her eyes a light. It must have been hard on her, having her family separated for all these years. In this moment I decide that whatever Alice asks me to wear today, I'll agree to, without argument. I suppose it's the least I can do for keeping her away from Jasper for so long… even if I had no idea.

"Bella! We need to talk!"

Alice is using her shouty whisper voice and it throws me off. I wonder if anyone else can hear her when she does that. I used to think everybody could hear, but apparently I have some awesome hearing and I didn't even know it. I lower my voice and sit down on the edge of my bed. Alice follows suit and sits next to me.

"What's up?"

Alice smiles pleasantly, but her eyes are hiding something. She reaches out and takes my right hand in both of hers and that's when I know for sure she **is** hiding something.

"Out with it, Ali."

I can't stand the suspense. What next? I'm not really a girl… I'm a boy and about to grow a damn penis? Wow. That might make my sudden crush on Edward a little awkward… unless…

I shake my head and force the thoughts away.

_Edward is not gay._

"Bella, I love that sweater on you. I need you to wear it to school today and not change—will you do that for me, please?"

I think for a moment and agree, though hesitantly. I know Alice had some sort of vision and I can't imagine what it would have to do with me and my sweater… that I know damn well she hates.

"Tell me why, though, Alice."

I sit a little straighter and give Alice a pointed look. I want an answer and I'm not backing down. She can see this and she nods.

"I had a vision of Edward going all homicidal at school today. You were going to wear that royal blue v-neck sweater without an undershirt… you know, the low-cut one?"

I blush out of embarrassment. I know better than to bet against Alice, but I'm having trouble believing that I would actually wear _that_ sweater without an undershirt.

"Yeah, well, apparently Edward is very protective of you. I mean, who knew?"

Alice laughs at a joke that I am clearly not in on. I want to ask her what that's about, but she continues before I have the chance.

"Anyway, if you wear that blue sweater, it's going to illicit some seriously x-rated thoughts from your peers, and it's been a long time since Edward's been around teenagers. I just don't think it'll go over well."

I nod, though I doubt that the guys at school really think of me that way.

"Oh, Bella… there is one more thing. Jazz asked me to speak with you."

I quirk my eyebrow at my sister, slightly baffled why Jasper didn't come to me himself.

"It's about sex."

_And that would be why._

I cringe and look at my lap, intently studying my jeans. This is embarrassing. Like, really fucking embarrassing. This is worse than the 'Bella got her period' incident. This is worse than the whole 'Bella's moving in with a bunch of vampires' thing. This is humiliating. With all of the thoughts that have been flying through my head since I laid eyes on Edward…

_Oh God._

"Bella… don't be embarrassed. Edward is _very_ handsome. It's only natural that you're feeling this way."

_Oh God._

"But the thing is… Jazz is having one hell of a time coping with your emotions."

_Oh God._

"It's just that, while I really appreciate his affections… we have to go to school today…"

_Oh God._

"And even though Edward can't hear your thoughts…"

_ . _

"He can hear Jazz's… and if Jazz is being bombarded with your lust for Edward…"

_Oh my God._

_Enough._

"Alice, enough!"

I shout and leap to my feet, my face is beet red, I'm sure of it. I continue to look at the floor, unable to meet Alice's eyes. This is far too humiliating.

"Speaking of Edward… is he ready for school yet? We're supposed to arrive early so you two can get your schedules from Mrs. Cope."

I can see Alice smirk at me.

_Fucking midget._

I can't seem to help myself. I have this uncontrollable urge to know where he is, and what he's doing, and why. God, I'm turning into a stalker. An obsessive vampire hybrid who's stalking her adoptive brother who just happens to look like a Greek god.

_ .now._

"Edward is downstairs waiting for you, actually."

I continue to look at the floor, but I'm grinning like an idiot. I slowly start to head for the door when Alice clears her throat. I look up at her, figuring we should just get this, whatever the hell _this_ is, over with now so that I can go downstairs and see Edward. Alice is smiling at me.

"It's okay to like him, you know."

I bite my lower lip harder than I intend to and it hurts. I do a quick swipe with my tongue to make sure I'm not bleeding. I'm not. _Thank God._ I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to say to Alice. I can't deny it, she already knows.

"Trust me when I tell you that it's _really_ okay for you to like him."

"But… he's… my… brother."

I shudder at the last word. I don't want to think of Edward as my brother, I _really_ don't want to think of Edward as my brother. Alice lets out a soft chuckle and moves so she's standing right in front of me and she lifts my chin. I try to stop grinning, but I can't. I'm such an idiot, and I know Edward can hear this conversation, and I'm going to be mortified when I have to face him.

"Bella, it was always supposed to be this way."

I look into Alice's eyes, and she's serious. The way she's talking, it sounds like she foresaw this. She foresaw me falling in love with Edward. I gasp because there's no way Alice would be smiling like a fool if this wasn't a good thing. I think she might even be giggling.

"Your life was always supposed to lead you here, to this moment, knowing Edward, lov-"

Alice is cut off by Edward who storms into the room at a fast-paced human speed and begins to talk over her. He's so handsome this time of day… okay, he's always handsome. Edward is wearing black jeans and a short sleeve white t-shirt. He looks so good in this mono-chromatic scheme, I can feel my stomach flutter at the sight.

"Bella, are you ready for school?"

I shake my head from my thoughts. Edward is talking to me. _Edward_ is talking to _me_. I flush in embarrassment because I'm still grinning at him like a damn fool.

"What?"

My voice is tight and I know I heard him well enough to respond, but I want to hear him speak again. If this damn fluttery feeling wasn't so freaking cool, I might be embarrassed by how my body is responding to him.

"Are you ready for school?"

Edward has turned his body towards me and he is giving me his full attention. I duck my head for a moment because I can't take it anymore. He is beautiful and he's looking at me, but it's more than looking. He's staring at me like he can see through me. He's looking at me like he knows me inside and out.

_Inside._

_Oh God._

My insane teenage hormones get the better of me and my eyes dart to Edward's crotch. I can't tell if he's really well endowed or if he's excited, but there's definitely something worth inspecting behind that fly. I realize I'm checking out my super sexy adopted brother's male pieces, and my eyes shoot back up to his face. I'm bright red, I just know it. I can feel the heat on my face. Edward slowly reaches his left hand out and gently cups my right cheek. Instinctively, I lean my face into his palm and close my eyes. I don't know what he's doing, and I really don't care. As long as he continues to touch me, he can do anything he wants.

_Touch me._

_Oh God._

There go my hormones again.

"Bella, are you alright?"

"She looks sick. I'm going to tell Carlisle she won't be attending her courses today."

Edward's voice is a little rough and authoritative. I force myself to speak.

"I'm not sick. I want to go to school."

Edward shakes his head in confusion, his hand still cupping my cheek and he comes slightly closer. He's less than a foot away and I can't help myself but my breathing picks up. I lose focus of his eyes and find his mouth before looking back into his black eyes again.

_Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me._

I have this overwhelming desire to have him kiss me. Every part of my body is screaming at him to just fucking kiss me already and I think I might even be panting a little. Edward's gaze drops down to my mouth and I lick my lips in anticipation.

_Oh God, yes!_

My inner self is chanting at full volume, and I lean in a fraction of an inch. Edward brings his face closer to mine and he seems to be breathing hard. Is it possible he wants this as much as I do? He has no biological need to breathe, so the only reason I can imagine for him to be doing so would be lust. This being a vampire hybrid business really isn't so bad if I get to kiss Edward.

_Kiss me, damn it!_

The moment my inner self starts screaming at him, he pulls back and releases my cheek. I think I'm whimpering because he's not touching me anymore, but I can't quite be sure.

"I can't allow this."

"Allow what?"

I cock my head to the side in confusion. He can't allow himself to kiss me? Why? Because he's like a hundred, and I'm not? I start to get indignant because biologically he's seventeen, not a hundred and something… and biologically, I'm almost seventeen, and I want him to fucking kiss me already! I steel my jaw and glare at him, while he looks at me perplexed. Clearly, we're having a communication error here.

"What's going on here?"

I practically jump at the sound of Alice's voice. I forgot she's in the room with us. Oh, how embarrassing! I almost kissed her brother… my broth—no, my… my… well… my Edward… I almost kissed my Edward in front of her. I look at Alice and she's confused. I cautiously turn my attention to Edward and he's all wide-eyed and nervous.

_Oh God._

It occurs to me that he may be reading my thoughts and I'm mortified. This is perhaps the worst thing that he can be doing right now aside from _not_ kissing me.

"Stop reading my thoughts!"

I shout without thought to volume control. I'm so embarrassed. I want to die. Seriously.

"Get out of my head!"

I'm practically crying and I'm looking between Alice and Edward. They both look concerned and sort of scared.

"Bella, I'm not reading your mind. I can't hear you."

"She's losing her damn mind."

I gulp and I can feel tears welling in my eyes. My volume control is still absent as I scream at Edward again.

"I'm not losing my damn mind, you asshole!"

Edward's eyes get impossibly big and he jumps backwards, nearly knocking into my bed. He looks terrified and now he's the one panicking. Alice is looking at him like he's grown an extra head or something.

"How did you do that?!"

His voice is rough and shaky. The tears that were about to stream down my face have dried up and I'm no longer freaking out. Edward is freaking out, and it's almost humorous.

"Do what?"

I ask timidly because a rattled vampire is an unpredictable vampire and I have it on good word Edward has a sweet tooth and I'm like a theater-sized box of Raisinettes. I really don't want to die or be changed today… hmm.

_Can I be changed? Will I change naturally?_

I realize that I have no idea what being a vampire hybrid means, other than developing some cool abilities… I don't know anything about what to expect. I look at Edward, waiting for him to answer me.

**Can you hear me?**

"Yeah."

It takes me a moment, but I realize that his lips aren't moving.

**Bella…**

"Yeah?"

The more Edward 'speaks', the more I realize that he isn't really speaking at all. Now my eyes are the size of saucers and they're matching his.

**How can you hear me?**

I shrug my shoulders because I really don't know. I'm in Edward's head. I can hear his thoughts.

_I can hear his thoughts._

I break out into a mischievous grin, and Edward's face pales. I almost giggle because I didn't know a vampire could pale anymore than they already are. Edward continues to stare me down and cocks one of those perfect eyebrows at me, I shake my head because I don't know what he's doing. I wait a few moments and I realize I can't hear his thoughts, but I know he's thinking from the look he's giving me. I should probably be freaked out that I can hear Edward's thoughts, but I'm not. Until yesterday, I thought I was dying; so really, anything is looking better than that. Besides, I have a feeling this is going to be fun.

"Don't do that again."

"Do what?"

I ask innocently and I grin at Alice. Alice's eyebrows are knit together and she's unhappy being left out of the fold. I reach out for her and pull her towards me as I drag us out of the room.

"So, Alice… how sick are you of Edward knowing everything you're thinking all the time?"

Alice begins to stutter and her earth-shattering squeal sends me backwards a few feet. I cling to the wall in the hallway and glare at her. She knows my ears can't handle that damn squeal.

"Oh, Bella. Bella, this is… this is… this is fantastic!"

She's beaming from every angle and she runs towards me, engulfing me in a gentle hug. I wiggle my arms so I hug her back and I whisper in her ear. I know Edward can hear me, the fun part of it is letting him think I don't want him to hear me.

"Payback's a bitch."

Edward groans and shoves past us as he walks down the stairs quickly as Alice and I follow the best we can. When we reach the first floor, everyone is staring at the three of us. Alice and I are grinning like school girls and Edward is scowling.

"Carlisle, I think it's for the best that the others go on without me today. I'm not quite prepared to begin attendance this morning."

Carlisle nods and smirks. He knows Edward's excuse is flimsy, and he also knows what happened upstairs. I look around the room and it seems everybody knows what happened upstairs. I focus in on each one of them, hoping, praying that I can hear something, anything, from within their heads; but it's all an epic fail.

"I understand your concerns with attending today, Edward, but you need to go nonetheless."

Edward sighs and turns to Esme. Oh! He's playing mom off dad. That's not cool. I shake my head at him when I see Esme's resolve breaking. She never did have the heart to deny him anything.

"It's okay, Edward. I get it. You just don't want to be around the hybrid freak. It's cool."

I nod my head, slump my shoulders and leave the crowd as I head for the foyer. I was careful to make sure I sound pained. I hear footsteps behind me and I pray that it's Edward, but no such luck. I turn fully to see who is following me, and it's Rosalie. Great.

"Nice guilt trip, human."

She smirks and tosses her perfect honey blonde hair behind her shoulder and she reaches for her car keys.

"I prefer hybrid, thank you very much."

I stick my chin out demanding she take notice of my resolve. She notices alright, though now I'm regretting my attitude towards her. Rosalie approaches me, bearing her teeth and a low growl comes out. Okay, so I'm still a little scared of her. Instantly, Edward appears by my side, standing a bit in front of me in a protective manner. Rosalie stands back and smirks again.

"You're too easy, Edward. Too damn easy."

I'm confused, but before I can ask Rosalie what the hell she's babbling about, she winks at me. Until this moment I didn't know a wink could incite fear in somebody, but Rosalie's wink sure as hell does. I look to Edward who turns to look at me and he sighs.

"We had better get going so as we're not late for school. Alice and I still need to collect our class schedules."

I beam up at him. He's really coming today. I can't help but smile and nod. I feel like I'm in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory and Edward is the most prized piece of chocolate there is. But I'm no Charlie in this scenario because I _will_ fight dirty to win.

I take a moment to calm myself down. I don't know where this defensiveness is coming from, but I suddenly feel like a little girl whose been asked to share for the first time—and I do not want to share. I take in a few deep breaths and grab my school bag that has somehow made its way to the front door. My bag is heavy and I struggle picking it up, but before I can sling it over my shoulder, Edward reaches down and takes it from me.

_Big, strong, sexy, vampire…_

"Bella!"

I hear Jasper's voice calling me from Emmett's Jeep and I sigh. I don't want to leave Edward as he still hasn't made his way out the door.

_Oh! He's on the move._

Edward has started walking out of the house, giving Carlisle and Esme a quick goodbye. I begin following him, practically joining myself to his backside.

_Oh, his back side…_

"Ride with me, Bella."

Jasper is smiling from the back of Emmett's Jeep. I notice Alice is by his side, and she shakes her head to signal me to deny his invitation. Emmett's Jeep only holds five people, and Rosalie's BMW only holds four. I suddenly realize that I'm going to be riding with Rosalie. I figure it can't be all that bad because Edward will be with me…

_Wait!_

I look at Alice when I notice Edward is walking towards Emmett's Jeep, but she shakes her head once more and tilts her head towards Rosalie's BMW. I continue on and open the passenger door when I hear the gravel stirring behind me and I'm assaulted with Edward's unique scent. Alice is so smart, I think I might want to kiss her right now. She planned this. She knew Edward wouldn't let me ride alone with Rosalie. I want to giggle, but the look that's passing between my riding companions is downright intimidating; so instead, I crawl into the back seat and sit in the middle, ready for the show. Edward slides into the passenger seat and shuts the door so hard that it makes a loud bang. Rosalie growls at him before speeding angrily out of the drive way, sending my stomach lurching into the center console. The ride to school is short as Rosalie is speeding because she's pissed; and when she pulls up, she slams on the breaks. I fly forward a few inches before Edward's marble hands hold me in place.

"Do you mind not driving like a maniac, Rosalie?"

Rosalie smiles at Edward's outburst and she turns to me.

"You okay, hybrid?"

I grin all dopey-like because Rosalie called me 'hybrid', not 'human'. I nod enthusiastically and she nods back before looking down to my shoulders. We seem to notice at the same time that Edward has yet to remove his hands from my chest, right above my breasts. Rosalie smirks at him and he removes them quickly and hops out of the car.

I climb out of the car and look across the parking lot to see Mike Newton standing by the entrance to building H. I smile because I see Mike looks happy, or perhaps, relieved, to see me. I really do like this boy. He's human and normal. But then I realize that I'm not human and normal, and I sigh. I muster up enough excitement to wave back and offer him a timid smile. My, how things change. Just last week I was excited to have a human friend, a friend just like me. A friend who understands the need for a human moment, a friend who understands the desire to eat people food, not forest creatures; a friend who not only looks like a teenager but actually _is_ a teenager.

Now, looking at Mike, and seeing how human he is, I'm jealous. Mike will wake up day after day with a beating heart, he'll always be able to go to the beach on a sunny day. Mike will get married and have kids, not that I've ever really thought about either thing, and it's likely Mike hasn't really, either… but the fact of the matter is, as a normal human, he has the ability to do those things. I have a feeling that the downside to being some kind of hybrid weirdo is that I won't get to experience the human things for much longer; so I resolve to eat a hearty lunch today.

I see Mike begin to approach me, and I'm conflicted. I like this boy, he's really quite nice; but I shouldn't lead him on into a possible relationship with a freak of nature. That would be wrong. Before I can make a choice whether to run from him or not, I feel a hard, marble hand wrap around my upper arm followed by my favorite scent.

_Edward._

I look to his face to find him scowling at Mike and instinct kicks in and I smack him right in the stomach. Why my instinct is to hit a hard object, I'll never know. I try to hide the pain in my hand from Edward—he doesn't need to know I've hurt myself.

"Would you please stop giving Mike _that_ look?"

"No. You don't know what he was thinking."

_Oh!_

He's right. I don't know what Mike is thinking but obviously, Edward does. I try to imagine what it could possibly be that would make Edward clutch my arm and drag me in the opposite direction, but then I realize that I'd really rather not know after this morning's conversation with Alice about teenage hormones.

"I don't care what he's thinking, Edward. He's my friend and I want you to be nice to him."

"I will do no such thing, Isabella."

_Ah, hell._

We're back to Isabella now. Wonderful. I've begun to figure out that when Edward is distancing himself from me, he uses my formal name. He's being really bossy and I'm not going for it. He's not my parent and I'm not going to tolerate him acting like it.

"Well, he _is_ my friend, and you _will_ be civil towards him. Do we understand each other?"

I'm no longer annoyed, I'm downright livid. How dare he swoop into my life and start ordering me around. I really wish I had vampire strength right now, I'd knock him on his pompous ass. I glare directly into his eyes and he's angry. His eyes are black again, while for a short while they were golden. I know the change in color means that he's pissed. An angry vampire is a dangerous vampire, but I just don't care. This is one moody creature of the undead that I'm not giving leeway to right now. Suddenly, I'm tucked into Edward's side and we're in motion. When we stop a mere second later, we're in a more deserted part of the school's grounds and we seem to be alone.

Edward releases me from his side and I step back to see him glaring at me. I adjust myself and I glare right back at him.

"Do not speak to me with disrespect, Isabella."

His voice is low and menacing. I hear a faint growl coming from his chest, and his eyes are pitch black and his nostrils are flaring. Edward is slightly crouched like he's ready to attack an enemy. I think he looks pretty damn sexy all predatory like that until I realize that if he's the predator, I'm the prey. Yesterday when he got like this, I hissed at him. My vampire side took over and reacted to defend itself. Now I'm terrified because my human side seems to be in control and my human side wants to whimper and cry.

I don't realize that I actually am crying until Edward moves from his predatory stance and slowly approaches me, shushing my cries. This man, this vampire, who only moments before terrified me, now has me cradled in his arms protectively and my tears disappear.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Edward is more upset now than I was. I can tell he's ashamed and embarrassed at the way he reacted to my defiance.

"I'm so very sorry, Bella. I just need you to understand that you cannot be friends with Mike Newton."

I shake my head and push off his chest, but it does no good.

"Why?!"

I'm no longer crying, I'm flat out whining. I don't understand why, within a matter of moments, Edward has declared Mike as an unsuitable friend for me to have.

"Please just trust me."

I shake my head. I do trust him. I can't even deny that. I barely know this man, but I trust him none the less. So I take a different route that seems to work with everyone else.

"Fine. I'll just ask Rosalie."

For a moment, I feel Edward's grip on me tightened and I wince, because it's starting to hurt. He releases me instantly and lets out a frustrated groan. I should be counting those groans.

"Isabella, Alice had a vision of you biting Michael Newton while out on a date."

_ A date? Really? I'm going to get to go on a date?_

"I get to go on a date with Mike?"

I smile because I've never been on a date before, and with the likes of Emmett and Jasper and Rosalie always hanging around, the odds of ever going on a date with a real, human boy seemed less and less likely. Edward's expression hardens and his nostrils are flaring again, and now I realize that I missed the important part of the admission.

"I'm going to bite him!"

I'm horrified and embarrassed. For one, I didn't even know I _could_ bite somebody; and for two, I can't understand why I would bite Mike. Edward nods and reaches his arms out to gently rub them in an act of comfort.

"… Which is why you cannot befriend the boy."

"He's already my friend, Edward. I can't just ignore him."

"Sure you can."

I shake my head and look down at my shoes.

"I don't even understand why I would want to bite him."

I hear Edward chuckle and he raises my chin so that I'm looking directly at him. He parts his lips and licks his teeth.

"It is what we are built to do, Isabella. In time you will understand."

He sounds so cryptic and scary, but I don't have time to ask before he takes my hand and leads me back toward the entrance. We approach our family who are all waiting right in front of the doors. Emmett and Rosalie both appear amused while Alice and Jasper seem to be worried. I raise an eyebrow at the crowd questioningly when Rosalie's gaze dips to our joined hands, and now I get it. Suddenly feeling on display, I wiggle my hand from Edward's and follow my siblings inside as I take my backpack from Edward's shoulder. I hate not touching Edward, I really do; but there's so much going on internally right now that I just need an Edward-free moment.

The five of them turn towards the administrative offices of the building and turn to look at me when I stop just inside the entrance. I give a quick glance toward my locker and turn my body away from them.

"I'm just going to head to my locker."

Edward and Alice nod and Rosalie elbows Emmett in his side.

"I'll come with you lil bit."

Emmett smiles and parts from the crowd as he approaches me and drapes an arm around my shoulders.

"That mate of yours is odd, Emmy."

"Yeah, so is yours."

I look at Emmett like he's insane.

"My what?"

Emmett freezes momentarily but starts laughing, which confuses the hell out of me.

"I said, 'Don't I know it, lil bit.'"

I smile and he chuckles nervously as Rosalie shoots him a pointed glare. I change the subject because he's not making any sense anyhow.

"Seriously, I never know if she's going to eat me or what."

"Her problem isn't with you, B, it's with Edward. She's just sick of all Edward's shit, that's all."

I pause and contemplate the hidden meaning there. What is Emmett trying to say? I give him a nudge in his hip, because that's where my elbow is, he's so damn tall. Looking down at me, he grins.

"Why do you think we didn't tell you sooner?"

Now it's Emmett who's giving me the questioning gaze and my eyes grow big as I realize he's telling me that Edward's the reason nobody told me the truth.

_Damn sexy vampire._

I want to be mad at Edward, but I can't bring myself to be. This is ridiculous. I don't understand it. If anyone else had done that, I think I would be livid. I just don't understand why Edward is so different. I let out a frustrated sigh and Emmett gives me a gentle squeeze that still kind of hurts. I don't let him know that it hurt because he always feels like shit when he's been too rough with me.

We get to my locker and I fumble with the combination until I've focused enough to actually open the damn thing, and then throw half my books inside. I retrieve my English book and look back at Emmett who is trying his best to hold back a chuckle.

"It's Edward. He's fighting Mrs. Cope about his schedule. It's really pissing Rosie off."

I giggle because that just sounds like Edward. I may not know him very well, but he's quite persnickety from what I can tell. I close my eyes and try to hear what Emmett is hearing, but I can't. I hear the hushed conversations around me. Conversations about the newest arrivals—the last two siblings in the mysterious Cullen clan. The sideways glances and giggling tell me that they've caught sight of Edward already. I swear that vampire must have a damn spotlight shining on him. He is so conspicuous. Beauty that great can't be overlooked, just like with Rose. Emmett lets out another stifled chuckle.

"Well, lil bit. It looks like he's wormed himself into two of your classes at least."

"What do you mean, Em?"

I try to sound as casual as possible. You can usually break Emmett fairly quickly if you just fly under the radar.

"Mrs. Cope had a completely different schedule for him, but he argued to get into your English and Biology courses. Rose is pretty pissed at him right now."

I laugh, though I know it sounds fake because Emmett looks at me like I'm crazy. I don't understand why Edward would even _want_ to worm his way into my classes.

"The good news is that now you'll have one of us in each of your classes!"

Emmett seems genuinely enthused about the fact that I'll never be left alone. I try to fake a smile but it comes out as a grimace.

"That's great, Em. Because you know, I have so many friends as it is. Having you people around all the time will just make it so damn much easier to fit in."

Emmett gives me his signature pout. It's not like a full-on bottom lip sticking out kind of thing, it's more like he's just hurt. I sigh and wrap my arms around one of his and give it a tight squeeze—well, tight for me. I smile up at him.

"I'm sorry."

He nods and turns his attention toward the office. Not a moment later the door swings open and Rosalie comes out leading everyone in a huff. She's noticeably pissed. She's immediately followed by Alice and Jasper and bringing up the rear is Edward.

_Rear._

I let out a giggle which catches Emmett's attention. I ignore him because I'll be damned if I'm going to explain that one to him. The conversations buzzing around us are growing louder and the scene down the hallway is looking like something out of a bad teen movie. Students are literally moving to the sides to make room for the Cullen siblings. Most of the guys are looking away with the exception of a few of the ones who Jasper has befriended. Tyler Crowley gives Jasper a head nod and Jasper returns the greeting with a smile. Alice is beaming next to Jasper. She seems to be more excited than I am that Jasper is making friends outside of the family. I can hear the murmurs and giggles about Edward. Yes, you heathens… we know, he's beautiful—now stop gawking!

Rose approaches and glares down at me. I'm not sure what has gotten into me but I smirk at her and release Emmett, turning my full attention to her. She huffs and surprises me to actually speaking to me.

"I expect you to control him, hybrid. He is getting on my last nerve."

I raise my eyebrows at her and Edward moves to my side, and I'm now flanked by Emmett and Edward; both over six feet tall while I'm barely meeting the five foot mark. I feel dwarfed in their presence, but I can't help but smile. My family feels whole. In all our dysfunction and insanity, we feel whole. We were missing Edward. I look to Rose and Edward who are glaring at one another. If two vampires were ever suited to be siblings, it would be these two. Alice is clinging to Jasper's arm, all bubbly and smiley.

"The bell is about to ring, folks. Let's all get to class and act human. Especially you, cupcake."

I look at Alice, not quite sure why she just called me cupcake. She keeps smiling and the first bell rings. I smile back and reach out and engulf her in a huge hug. Part of me can't believe she's really here and she's really staying. She's my best friend. Alice hugs me back a little too tight before releasing me and apologizing.

We all spread out for our first period classes and I nod my head at Edward to follow me, which he does.

"Emmett told me you're stuck with me for English and Biology."

"Yes, well, I suppose I'll manage."

"Just don't get hungry."

I smile up at Edward to let him know that I'm just teasing; he smiles down at me and licks his lips. I blush furiously because now I'm thinking about having those lips on me. Edward's golden eyes darken just slightly and I can feel his body go rigid beside me. We reach our English class and he steps to the side to let me in first. I walk in and hurry towards the back, hoping Edward takes the vacant seat beside me. He's at the front of the room and getting his registration slip signed by Mr. Mason.

I watch the female students as Edward moves to the back of the room, getting closer to me every moment. If I squint, I can almost pretend he's on a runway, he's just that beautiful and graceful. As I had hoped, Edward takes the vacant seat beside me.

Throughout English, Lauren Mallory, keeps turning around to catch an eyeful of the handsome man to my right. I decide that if she moves even an inch to touch him, I'll break her pretty little fingers. I'm instantly embarrassed by my reaction towards the attention Edward is getting. I remind myself that he is not mine, even if I want him to be.

I chant this through the next three periods where the students can't stop talking about the Cullens, and Edward Cullen in particular. I'm excited to see Alice join me in my second period Government class as well as my third period Trig class. By my fourth period Spanish class, Senorita Mendoza is practically purring as she's just met Edward. Emmett, who's in Spanish with me can't stop laughing and has to keep apologizing to Senorita Mendoza for interrupting the class. Apparently he's picking up on my annoyance with the entire student body, and he finds it hilarious, but he's keeping a distance. Unfortunately Jessica Stanley isn't as perceptive as Emmett and she keeps asking me sly questions about Edward and occasionally throwing one in there about Alice in an attempt to hide her infatuation.

_Newsflash, Jessica, it's not working._

By the time Emmett and I leave Spanish and head for the cafeteria, I've decided on pepperoni pizza, a coke, fries, and a chocolate pudding cup. I want to indulge in human food while I have the chance. We catch up with Rose and Alice who are in line. I load up my tray with all the things I'd been thinking about, plus I grab a frozen ice cream. The three of them are looking at me like I've lost my mind but I let them know that this kind of yummy food won't always taste so yummy to me and they nod. Emmett tells me how much I'm going to like bear, and I decide against the hamburger I was eyeing. Suddenly it looks a little too much like what I'm imagining as a bear burger.

When we get to our table, Edward and Jasper are already sitting down with their props of food. I notice that Edward's props are in a brown paper bag. Alice sits down next to Jasper and Emmett and Rose sit next to one another, leaving the only space left beside Edward, not that I'm complaining, because I'm not. I sit down with my ridiculous lunch and immediately reach for a French fry when Edward pull my tray away and shoves the bagged lunch at me. I reach out for my lunch and he shake his head.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Keeping you alive."

I shake my head and reach for the tray again, but he's using his other arm to hold me down on the bench.

"This is your lunch, Isabella. Not that monstrosity."

I unload the paper sack to find a whole wheat turkey sandwich with mustard, lettuce and tomato; a bag of heart smart pretzels, baby carrots and raw broccoli and a heart healthy low fat strawberry yogurt. I shake my head. I'm seeing a pattern here.

"Give me back my lunch, Edward."

"I can't do that."

"You can and you will."

I reach for my tray again and now I'm flat out annoyed with him and his bossy ways. His arm is still firmly holding me in place, but I'm determined to get to that slice of pizza. I try to stand enough to reach my tray and I'm surprised to find that Edward's not resisting much. I manage to shove myself a few inches off the bench below me and the look on Edward's face is priceless.

"How in the hell…"

He trails off and I realize that he's not actually giving me any leeway. I'm actually forcing myself up against his will. I want to freak out and plop back down, but my tray is just so close now. I concentrate on my pizza and fries and I reach over and grab the tray. Edward now looks angry. It's obvious to me that he doesn't like to be defied.

_Too damn bad._

Everyone at the table is looking at us, slightly stunned, except for Alice who is giggling.

"Release the tray, Isabella."

Edward's jaw is clenched and I want to kiss it because that might really make him mad and right now, I'm having so much fun. Edward angry is a major turn on. I'm shocked to find that I can force a vampire to move… especially one who's about a foot taller than I am and who looks so damn fit.

"Make me."

I smirk at him and bring a fry to my mouth where he snatches it away and forces me back down on the bench. I land with a thud and I know that's going to cause a bruise on my backside. I scowl at him and he looks like he's proud of himself. I wiggle a little to find that the seat is no longer even. I move to the side enough to see my ass has made a dent in the bench. The entire table erupts in quiet laughter except for Rose who is glaring at Edward.

"You'd better fix that before anyone notices you fucking moron."

I shove Emmett to the side so I can move away from the ass dent and Edward quickly bends the steel bench back into place and grabs me, dragging me to my original spot.

"Happy, Rose?"

Rosalie snorts and shakes her head.

"I didn't think so."

Edward mutters and I'm not sure Rosalie can hear him. I smile at Edward and for a brief moment he smiles back at me before his brows knit together and he looks at the empty table before him. I shove the paper lunch back at him and begin eating my pizza. I make happy noises through all my chewing and swallowing which causes Edward to mumble to himself. I'm pretty proud of myself and I grin at each of my siblings. Jasper and Emmett are shaking their heads in disappointment and Rosalie is glaring at me. Alice is refusing to look at me.

_What the hell!_

"I'm just looking out for her health. Stubborn child."

I look at Edward and I realize he's deep in thought, he's not actually speaking. I focus on the way his voice sounds in his head. It's slightly rougher than what I hear when he's speaking and a bit less melodic.

**I'm glad she's finding this humorous. I made that lunch myself.**

_Damn it!_

I shove my tray away and towards Rose, practically knocking into hers. I'm grateful it doesn't. Everyone's heads shoot up and they're watching me. I'm really not happy about this, but I grab the damn bagged lunch and start eating the less than tasty turkey sandwich. I mean, it tastes good for a turkey sandwich on whole wheat and all, but really, it's no pepperoni pizza. Satisfied with my decision, everyone goes back to their previous conversations and Alice gives me a slight smile of approval. I turn slightly toward Edward and focus in on his thoughts.

**I hope she likes it.**

I smile because even if I didn't like it, I like the fact that he cares enough to make it for me. He could probably make me steamed seaweed and I would eat it. A tiny smile appears on his lips and I can't help but smile as well. I eat the entire lunch he packed for me and don't give a second thought to the tray of goodies that had meant so much a few minutes ago. Half way through, Edward excuses himself and returns a few minutes later with a bottle of water for me. I thank him and continue to eat. When I'm done, I thank him for the lunch and he looks at me with this silly look on his face. He tells me he hopes I liked it and I confirm that it really was very tasty. I just about melt when he asks me what I would like for dinner tonight. I almost want to say 'you', but I refrain, and tell him I'd like some sort of chicken pasta. I don't think to ask why he's taken over cooking duties. I decide to just enjoy the fact that Edward is sitting here and feeding me… even if it is whole wheat.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N:I've been cleaning up these author's notes as I go to cut down on all of the "blah blah blah" you read before you get to the actual chapter. This chapter features a helicopter named Echo Charlie and a character names Joe. Back when I first posted this story, there was a fic called Master of the Universe by Snowqueens Icedragon. Unless you've been under a rock you'll know that the story has since been converted to a book and retitled 50 Shades of Grey by EL James. Since Icy/EL James allowed me to use both Echo Charlie and Joe in the first post (and because I'm lazy), I'm not changing the names.

**Bite to Break Skin**

**Chapter Seven**

**Bella**

"Happy Birthday!"

I'm startled awake by a chorus of melodic voices singing the birthday song. Of course I knew this would happen. It's my birthday, they always do this on my birthday. I smile and toss my comforter aside, greeting my family. I look to my left and Esme swoops down to catch me in a big hug, followed by Carlisle and Jasper. I stand up on the mattress because Emmett's next and I can't reach him from where I am.

"Happy birthday, B!"

I cringe because Emmett is loud as hell. He leans forward and scoops me up in his arms and cradles me like I'm a small child, and really, in comparison—I am a small child. I wrap my arms around his neck and cuddle into his chest. For being the largest of us, he is also the best hugger, and by far the most gentle. I feel completely safe in his arms.

"How's it feel being a year older, huh?"

"I dunno. How's it feel never aging?"

I hear Rosalie clear her throat and I look over at her to find that she's actually smiling. This is my first birthday as a Cullen that Rosalie has shown up with a smile on her face. I smile back at her as Emmett stands me on the floor. Rosalie shocks me by leaning in and giving me a dainty hug. I don't know where the change of heart came in, but damn it, I like this new and improved Rosalie. She shoots a dirty look over my shoulder and I come to my senses realizing that this year there aren't six vampires in the room… there's seven.

Crap!

I quickly assess my current state of undress and I'm mortified. I'm wearing one of Emmett's t-shirts that I stole from him. I don't know why I like to take his t-shirts, but once he's worn them in, they're the most comfortable things on the planet—and he's so tall that they work well as night shirts on me. Normally this would be fine, but the house was really hot last night and I skipped the pajamas pants, so I'm standing here in a big t-shirt and socks, right in front of Edward.

Rose releases me but I'm hesitant to turn around and face Edward. Before I can think too long on this, I feel Alice's tiny arms wrap around my waist and squeeze. Thankfully she's gentle, well, gentle for Alice. She spins me around and I'm greeted with the most delicious male specimen ever created.

God, he's beautiful.

Edward gives me a shy smile and nod.

"Happy birthday, Isabella."

Oh! We're back to that now.

"Thank you."

I nod in appreciation and I figure we're done here. Everybody is silent as Edward smiles at me shyly and I stare at him awkwardly. I'm not entirely sure why he's looking so bashful, I'm the one who's half naked.

Oh! Maybe he's never seen a woman naked before.

I blush at the thought.

"Hey, if I can hug the freak of nature, so can you, Ed."

Rosalie's voice is full of amusement. I feel two hands on my back as they shove my forward. I stumble and Edward is left with no choice but to catch me. He holds me gently to his chest, one arm on my lower back and the other steadying me with my elbow. I don't quite know what I'm doing, but his touch is so soft and welcoming, I tuck my head into chest and inhale. I feel his sharp intake of breath. Right now I wish he were human so I could feel his beating heart. The hand on my lower back begins to gently caress me as his grip on me tightens and I feel whole. I'm complete. I don't know why he has this effect on me, but he does.

"Happy seventeenth birthday, Bella."

I smile because we're back to Bella now. I decide that I really need to figure out what causes him to call me Isabella, and whatever it is, I need to avoid doing it. Snuggling into Edward and letting out a sigh; I see six shadows silently excuse themselves from the room. I push back the rampant questions that are running through my head and try to just enjoy the moment.

"What would you like for breakfast?"

Oh, Chefward!

"Why don't you surprise me?"

"But it's your birthday breakfast, shouldn't it be your choice?"

I scoff and apparently that was the stupidest thing I could have done because he pulls back and holds me at arms length. I don't like this.

Cuddle me, damn it!

"Edward, if I asked you for chocolate chip pancakes, what would you say?"

"I would explain to you that they are lacking in a solid nutritional base, are ridden with simple sugars and will not provide you with enough energy to keep you in top shape until lunch."

"And if I ask for McNuggets for lunch?"

He laughs at my request like it's the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard.

"Why don't I just buy you a rubber dog bone and dip it in chicken broth? That has a greater chance of providing you with any real nourishment than that chewy concoction they call chicken."

"And if I wanted fried chicken for dinner?"

"That would be impossible. Alice has already scheduled catering for your special dinner."

"Ugh. She's seriously getting catering just for me, or is there going to be a live bear and some deer there as well?"

Edward raises his eyebrows and lets out a slight chuckle. I'm stunned at how familiar this feels. I'll have to check my freaky facts journal, but I swear I've had a dream about this, well, at least part of this.

"Silly girl. We don't eat indoors. It is far too messy."

I laugh a little—he's putting me at ease; which isn't easy. I've always feared Alice's elaborate birthday celebrations.

"What does Alice have planned for this evening?"

He shakes his head, refusing to answer me and I pout because they've kept this under wraps for months.

"Do not sulk, Bella."

Still reeling from the déjà vu a few moments ago, I find myself floored. I'm absolutely sure we've been here before having a conversation similar to this. I think back to my dreams and try to piece the words together.

Yes, I remember this.

I was small, about six or so. Edward was… Edward. Perfectly beautiful and as always, seventeen. Remembering the dream as clearly as if it were happening right now. I recite my lines word for word, slightly dazed by the overwhelming sense of déjà vu.

"But I'm no little girl, I'm a vampire."

Edward looks like he's been impaled and he freezes in place momentarily before he composes himself and nervously laughs me off. His reaction is worrisome, but I continue on because I can't seem to stop myself.

"You said so yourself, Edward…"

He steps away from me, a look of horror on his face and abruptly cuts me off.

"Happy birthday, Isabella. You ought to call your grandmother Marie. It is already noon in Chicago and I am sure she is awaiting your call."

Damn it.

Edward speeds out of my room and I can hear him shouting for Carlisle.

Melodramatic vampire.

I don't quite know what to make of what just happened but I resolve to record it in my Freaky Facts journal post-haste. I roll my eyes at the antiquated term that I have clearly picked up from Carlisle.

Once I've recorded this morning's déjà vu in my journal, I realize that I'm pretty stinky and desperately in need of a shower. I decide to ask Esme about the thermostat. It seems to be broken and the house is still burning up. I need to change my sheets because I must have sweat through the night with how damn hot it is in here. In the shower, I keep the water luke warm and I instantly feel better the second the body wash touches my skin. I can't believe I tried to cuddle Edward smelling like a filthy pig.

I finish my shower, grab a towel and wrap it around me as I step out of the shower. The towel barely fits around me and I wonder where the larger towels are. The house is still boiling and I can feel my skin drying rapidly so I don't care too much about the towel. I grab my blow dryer and dry my hair just enough so that it doesn't drip. When I'm done, I look in the mirror and I swear my skin looks paler than normal.

You're nuts, Bella.

My inner self is being a little snarky and I want to shut her up, but she's on a roll and I seem to have no control over her so I can't.

"Bella!"

Alice is somewhere in my room, calling my name. I smile and bound out of the bathroom to find her tiny frame perched on the corner of my bed. She brilliant white smile glistens and her honey eyes are twinkling. She looks radiant and refreshed which means she just had a little snack.

"When did you have time to eat, Alice?"

She jokingly waves me away with her right hand and a smirk plays on her lips.

"Please, Bella, I had it delivered."

I chuckle at the thought of Jasper dealing with a wiggling forest creature to deliver to his wife. I cross my room and round the bed, heading for my dresser in search of something to wear. I pull out a pair of pair of cotton shorts and a bra tank and the first pair of underwear I find and then drop my towel.

"Bella!" Alice screams at full volume causing me to hurriedly pick my towel up and cover myself with it.

"What?!" I shout back nervously as I cling to the towel for dear life. There's a loud noise and the rustling of trees from just outside my glass wall. My eyes focus on the forest outside and Alice is huffing. I tear my eyes from the mysterious ruckus outside and look at Alice who's attention is fixed on the forest.

"Do you always just walk around your room naked like that?"

"Um…"

"Jesus, Bella. Are you trying to flash Ed-everybody in sight?"

I swear it sounded like Alice stumbled on her words but I choose to move on.

"Who in the hell is everybody? We live in the woods! Are you worried that the squirrels are going to get a peep show?"

"Not the squirrels, no."

I pick up my clothes and hurry to the bathroom where I change quickly behind the closed door. When I return to my room I find Alice standing at my glass wall and shaking her head with her hands on her hips.

"Scolding the squirrels for looking?"

When she turns around I see that she's not amused and I don't really understand why. It's my birthday and I'm really not in the mood to play twenty questions with her. She just shakes her head and she's smiling again.

"I came up here to tell you that Edward is making you chocolate chip pancakes… although, it might be a few more minutes before they're done."

Her smile fades momentarily as she glares out the window and then smiles back at me. She's acting really weird. I mean, damn, what is it with her and those trees?

"I was going to ask what you'd like to do today, and you've decided you want the entire family to play video games, so Emmett is setting everything up as we speak. You decided on Mario Party so we can all play, and you want to play men against women. Now if you sit down, I'll tell you how to win against Edward and Emmett. They're pretty good."

I sit down and let Alice ramble on about the things I'm supposed to say and when. Really, without her help I wouldn't have a chance of staying in the game. It's always me and Carlisle on the losing end. For having a couple of centuries on the rest of us, he's pretty bad. When Alice is done with her incessant babbling I let her know I'll be down after I call Grandma Marie. The conversation is brief as she's off to a lady's bridge meeting. She lets me know that she misses me and hopes to visit soon. She also gives me a message for Carlisle before hanging up and I cringe, not wanting to deliver that particular message.

A few minutes later, downstairs, I find a plate full of chocolate chip pancakes waiting for me on the breakfast bar. Edward is drying his hands on a dish towel as he watches me with a grimace on his face.

Oh, calm down, Edward.

"I am calm."

I jump and stare at him incredulously. I'm a little weirded out because I think he just read my mind. But I guess what goes around comes around. I mean, if I can read his, I suppose there's no reason he shouldn't be able to read mind.

"Did I say that out loud?"

The cocky bastard smirks and wrinkles his nose as he crosses the kitchen and stands right over me. He leans in just inches from my ear and I can feel his cool breath on my neck and it takes my breath away.

"Nope."

I want to hit him, even if it will only hurt me; but I can't bring myself to move anyway. I'm frozen in place, trying in vain to not let the feeling of his breath on my neck fade from memory. When my skin finally stops tingling, I grab a stool, sit down and immediately dig into my pancakes. I'm shoveling an obscene amount of food into my mouth with each bite, barely chewing.

Thanks, Eddie.

"It's Edward."

Okay, Eddie.

I hear no response and turn around to find him leaving the room huffing and puffing. I shrug it off and figure that's probably just Edward in all his moody glory. When I'm done with my food and I can't possibly fit another chocolate chip in my mouth, I bounce off the stool to join my waiting family in the great room. The furniture has been re-arranged to better accommodate us. I look for Esme and find her curled up next to Carlisle on the love seat.

"Hey, mom, it's super hot in here. I keep adjusting the thermostat, but it's still so hot no matter what I do."

Esme and Carlisle both immediately turn their attention across the room. As I turn to look at what they're focusing on, I see that everybody is looking across the room at Edward who is sitting by himself on the chaise lounge. His shoulders are slumped and he seems uncomfortable with all of the attention.

"I apologize, Isabella, I thought you might be cold."

Rosalie scoffs and Emmett and Jasper break out into an uncontrolled fit of laughter.

"I'm sure, Edward… it's not because you wanted her walking around half naked… no, of course, not. It couldn't be that," smirks Jasper.

My eyes bug out and my jaw just about hits the floor. Edward isn't raising his head to look at me and that makes me think that Jasper's claim has some merit. I panic and rush up the two flights of stairs and into my room where I quickly change into a pair of sweats and a baggy t-shirt, leaving my bra tank on. The last thing I need is to be walking around with bouncy boobs. When I come back down to the great room, Edward is staring at the staircase, awaiting my return.

"Isabella, I apologize that you felt uncomfortable. That was never my intention."

I nod my head and make my way around him, trying to avoid thinking about whatever the fuck is going on around here. Edward's apology is vague and I can't quite tell exactly what he's actually apologizing for, but I don't really care because I think he really was checking out my boobs after all. I grab a seat on the chaise lounge and Edward joins me at the other end and he hands me a controller.

"Ladies first."

I take the controller from him, and Emmett laughs.

"Dude, she ain't no lady."

"Jesus Christ, do you people think we can get to playing already?"

Carlisle clears his throat and I apologize. "Sorry, Jesus."

We finally get around to playing the game, and as always, it's a mix of laughs and threats. Rosalie buddies up to me half way through the third round and I'm suspicious but I relax when she tells me that she's only being nice because it makes Edward suspicious. I figure that as long as she's enjoying bothering Edward and I'm the vehicle by which she plans to do that, then she won't kill me; so we're good. Esme is surprisingly good, but then I remember the many times that Emmett has challenged her to a match.

This is the way we should always be—a whole and complete family unit. Like this, we want for nothing. Like this, we can handle anything. Like this, I can't imagine a better birthday than to have my entire family with me.

Hours pass and we put the games to a close after Carlisle is declared the loser. Somehow I manage to beat out both Emmett and Carlisle; but I'm certain that Emmett threw the game. I'm not mad at him for cheating in my favor, it wouldn't be the first time, and really, his heart is in the right place. Once all the furniture is back in place and the gaming console and its accessories are put away, Alice announces that everybody is to ready themselves for the evening's surprise. Nobody is willing to tell me what the big secret is; Alice just drags me to my room and rushes around in a flurry of activity.

My hair is straightened and then curled… why Alice does this, I have no damn clue, but it looks great so there's no argument from me. I keep my mouth shut while she does my make-up. I really am grateful for all that Alice does and it's time I start showing it.

"Thank you, Alice. Seriously."

"Of course, Bella, now go slip into your dress and shoes while I get ready and then meet us downstairs."

I walk over to my dress hanging on a hook on the inside of my closet door and slip off my pajama pants. My legs are about as furry as a woodland creature. I can't wear a dress like this, and I scurry into the bathroom to shave my legs. I come out feeling fresh and smooth. I eye the outfit Alice has chosen for me. It's beautiful and for a dress, it's really my style. Alice has chosen a vintage style cocktail dress that hits my knees. It's a soft pink with a really unique looking bird design on the bottom and she's paired it with matching ballerina flats and a plush cardigan, both in pink. I look at myself in the mirror and I'm amazed. Alice has done wonders and I even feel pretty in this. There's a soft knock on my door and I tear myself from the mirror. I'm pretty sure I know who it is.

"Come in."

My instincts don't fail me and Carlisle walks into my room a smile playing on his face. I'm a little excited

"Bella, you look beautiful."

"Thanks, Dad. Alice works a pretty hot miracle, huh?"

"No, Bella. Your beauty is all your own. May I have a few moments with you before we go?"

I nod and sit on my bed. Carlisle comes and sits next to me, still smiling brightly. This is my favorite birthday tradition—the father-daughter talk.

"I just wanted a few moments before the others got to you. I remember the first time I saw you as an infant… you were angelic. Esme fell in love with you immediately and wanted to take you home but Marie and Charlie wouldn't hear of it. You should have seen them fighting over your tiny little body."

I feel myself getting choked up. It never fails, I always cry.

"I remember very little of my human life and I remember almost nothing of my father. But I do remember the pride in his voice when he spoke of what it was like to be a father. His greatest wish was for me to become a pastor, marry a good Anglican girl and to become a father like he did. After I was changed and had figured out what I'd become—I spent decades upon decades grieving my loss.

"I thought that because I no longer human that I would never have a family the way other men did. And then I met your mother, Esme, and she and Edward became my world. Even with the addition of Rosalie and Emmett and then Alice and Jasper, something was missing. My dearest Isabella, that something was you.

"I know we are not your conventional family and you are not a conventional child, but I happen to think we are a perfect fit, you and I, one unique creature to another. Thank you for accepting us into your life. Thank you for being my daughter and for allowing me to be your father. It is now my greatest wish that I can live up to being the kind of father to you that Charlie would approve of."

The last line about Charlie hits me in my soft spot and my tears start flowing. I throw myself at Carlisle and he engulfs me in a tight hug. I'm mindful that he's wearing a stunning Italian suit and I don't want to smear my make-up all over him. Alice would have my head—birthday or no. I compose myself quickly and dab at my eye make-up that's all runny now.

"So, how did I do?" Carlisle asks as he hands me a tissue and I try to clean myself up, but I know Alice is going to have to be the one to fix me up. If I even try to re-create it, I'll have myself looking like a hooker. I know this for a fact because last year I did try to fix my own make-up and I did wind up looking like a lady of the night.

"Best father-daughter talk ever," I hiccup.

Carlisle smiles and puts an arm around my shoulders, leading me out of the room. I remember Grandma Marie's message that I'm supposed to deliver. I just know if I don't, she'll know.

"Hey Dad, Grandma Marie wanted me to tell you that she had a dream about you the other night."

Carlisle raises an eyebrow and I wrinkle my nose and shake my head to show my disgust. His eyes grow wide. He's caught on. _It was an x-rated dream._ Grandma Marie can kind of be a pervert when she wants to be.

Once we're downstairs I realize that the house is eerily silent. Carlisle lets out a heavy sigh.

"In the great room."

In the great room we find six very silent vampires, each propped up on a piece of furniture with their personal laptop in front of them. I look at Carlisle questioningly and he shakes his head.

"Twitter."

I nod clear my throat. Only Alice tears herself away from her computer long enough to look up and her eyes quirk into an odd shape. She looks pained.

"Carlisle, why on earth do you always insist on giving her the father-daughter talk after I put her make-up on?"

Alice drops her computer on the sofa and strides over to me, yanking me into the kitchen where she has an 'emergency' make-up kit all ready. Carlisle is laughing and I think he waits until my make-up is done every year on purpose. Alice hurries to fix me up and she shows me what she's done. Carlisle is hard at work prying everyone away from their computers.

"Thanks, Ali."

"Edward—turn it off."

Everyone has turned their computers off except for Edward who is replying to accusatory tweets. When Carlisle unplugs the wireless router and Edward loses his connection, he gives in and puts the computer aside and I notice what he's wearing. As Edward stands I see he's in a gray suit with white dress shirt and a pink tie that mysteriously matches my dress and shoes and sweater.

I blush realizing that Alice has coupled us up. I feel like a moron because with the exception of Edward and I, everyone else is coupled up; and I only now get it. Alice wants Edward and I coupled up permanently. I am both excited and saddened by this realization. Vampires don't have a choice in their mates, and they certainly don't get crushes. If Edward had a mate, she would be here and matching with him and I would still be alone.

"Isabella… you are exquisite." Edward's velvet voice sends shivers straight to the pit of my belly. Even just looking at him takes my breath away and my instincts tell me to ravage him. I catch his eyes traveling up my body and back down again. My face heats and I have to divert my eyes for a moment or I'm going to pass out. The silence is uncomfortable, and the way Edward is looking at me is leaving me breathless. We just need to go already or I won't even be able to walk.

"Are we all ready to go?" I ask, trying in vain to stop the butterflies in my stomach. I pick my head up and everybody is grabbing their purses and straightening their ties. Alice, Rose and Esme look beautiful in their dresses with their high heels that I would just die in. Emmett and Jasper are in black suits with ties that match their mates. I look around at everybody, once again stunned by how beautiful they all are. Rose in her gold, Alice in her lacy black and Esme in her slinky off-white with black sash.

"Hey, you clean up pretty good, hybrid."

Oh, a compliment from Rose!

"Thanks, Rose. You look beautiful as always."

She smirks at me and nods her head. That's as close as I'll be getting to a sign of appreciation, and I'll take what I can get. Honestly, a compliment from Rose must means I look damn good, so I almost feel like I fit in for once. Carlisle clears his throat and directs us out to the cars.

"Emmett and Rose will take the BMW, and Esme, Alice, Jasper and I will take the Mercedes. For the birthday girl and her date for the evening—the limo."

We're outside and there's a black stretched limo. Edward places his hand on my lower back and gently directs me to the limo where a gentleman in a suit opens the back door and we climb in.

"Why didn't we ride with Rose and Em?"

"We ride in the BMW every day, today is your birthday."

"So then, why didn't every one ride with us?"

"Are you objecting to being alone with me, Isabella?"

"No!"

My eyes are wide and Edward chuckles at me. Even if Alice is trying to push us together, Edward doesn't seem to be objecting, so I decide to stop asking questions and just enjoy whatever time I have with him before he mates and I'm stuck by myself, without an Edward to call my own. I decide that I must ask Carlisle if hybrids mate or if I'm just screwed in life.

I'm not quite sure where we are—somewhere outside of Forks, surely, as we've been driving for quite some time. The sun is setting behind the ever present clouds so Edward isn't worried about sparkling. I sigh at his beauty. In a gray suit with that pink tie, he is exquisite. The limo stops and the driver opens the door for us. Edward climbs out first and lends me his hand to help me out.

The noise outside of the limo is deafening and it's awfully windy. I'm a little taken aback until Edward turns me around and I see what all the commotion is about. A large white helicopter is sitting there in the middle of a field. I look around and the field is surrounded by trees with no sign of life in sight. We must be a good bit outside of town… further than I thought. Edward places his hand on my lower back once again and directs me toward the noisy beast.

I stare at the white helicopter with its whirling blades, a little stunned that we're actually going for a ride in this thing. There's blue writing on the side, but I can't really tell what it says from this angle. I'm really curious about who Carlisle would have borrowed a helicopter from. The noise is deafening and the blades are creating a forceful wind worrying me that my dress is going to fly up and Edward will see the silk panties Alice demanded I wear. Wait. That might not be so bad.

"Are you serious?" I ask Edward.

Edward cocks an eyebrow at me.

"Of course not, Isabella. I just thought I would prop a helicopter in the middle of a field for fun."

I roll my eyes at him and I might even giggle a little. A tall man in a black suit and tie climbs out of the helicopter and strides towards us. He smiles brightly and sticks his hand out in greeting. I return the favor and smile politely.

"You must be Isabella, hello, my name is Joe."

"Hello Joe."

Joe nods and signals for us to follow him. The closer I get to the helicopter, the more intimidating it is. I pause momentarily and Edward chuckles.

"Don't tell me you're afraid of Echo Charlie."

I stare at him curiously. It's like he's speaking a language I'm not familiar with.

"Who?"

He laughs and directs me to climb into the open door of the helicopter. I climb in, seeing there is seating enough for at least eight. I wonder why the rest of the family drove if there's enough room for us all, but really, I don't care because I'm with Edward. I shuffle over to the window seat, directly behind the pilot and I plop down.

"The helicopter is named Echo Charlie."

I nod.

Who names their helicopter Echo Charlie, anyway? He looks like a 'Fred' to me.

"Who does it… um… Echo Charlie belong to?"

For some reason, I feel strange referring to the helicopter as an 'it' since Edward used its name.

"A friend of Carlisle's."

I wiggle and accidentally kick the seat in front of me.

"Please be careful, Isabella. The owner will expect Echo Charlie returned in the same condition as it was lent—Carlisle says he's a bit of a control freak. And don't touch anything, I would hate for us to crash."

Joe laughs from up ahead and I think I hear him mutter something along the lines of 'ain't that the truth.'

Edward hands me a headset meant to drown out the noise which he calls 'cans.' I put them on my ears and after he buckles me into the four-point harness, I resolve to keep my hands and feet firmly in place and to not touch anything for the remainder of my time in Echo Charlie.

Joe secures the doors and climbs into his seat in front of me. We're silent as Echo Charlie takes flight, and suddenly I'm afraid of heights. Edward notices this immediately and takes both of my hands in his, gently rubbing them together. The friction he's causing is sending sparks up my arms and to every point in my body and I blush. I'm so wrapped up in Edward I don't even notice that Joe is trying to strike up a conversation with me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you."

"I said, Mr. C told me to tell you that you're a very lucky girl, and happy birthday."

"Mr. C?"

I look at Edward curiously.

"He owns Echo Charlie."

I nod and turn straight ahead to address the back of Joe's head.

"Please tell Mr. C I say thank you for the birthday wishes and for letting Echo Charlie out on loaner."

Joe laughs and we engage in some meaningless chitchat for the next half an hour. When it's silent for a few minutes, Edward speaks up and begins to tell me about where we are and what we're looking at below. We pass over a thick forest, which Edward points out to be a national forest.

"Where are we going?"

"Seattle."

I smile at the thought. I'm not sure what seven vampires and one hybrid plan to do to celebrate a birthday in Seattle, but whatever it is, I'm sure it will be fun. We're almost alone and I want to ask Edward about his time researching my 'condition', but I don't dare as Joe can hear and Edward can't be truthful in his presence; so we sit in companionable silence for the rest of the flight.

The city of Seattle slowly comes into view and it's breathtaking. The sun is nearly set and the twinkling lights of the city below cast a brilliant light on the sound. I gasp when I catch sight of the marina. Off to the west of the city itself, the marina sits looking almost desolate. Most of the watercraft that are docked appear to be empty for the evening as their lights are out.

A lone yacht sits in the water a couple hundred yards off from the marina, all lit up with colorful lights and a group of people congregating on a lower deck. I look around and notice that we seem to be heading right for the yacht in question. I continue to survey our potential destination and notice that there is, in fact, a landing pad for a helicopter on one end of the yacht.

I look at Edward curiously and he smirks.

"You only turn seventeen once, Bella."

I pick my jaw off the floor and look back at the yacht that we're really quite close to now. It's enormous and the people below, whom I now make out to be our family, all seem to have their eyes on Echo Charlie as we make our descent.

"That is one big boat. Was this really necessary?"

He laughs at me and pats my hands that he is still holding.

"Bella, you can't call a two hundred foot yacht a big boat. It's just wrong."

"Two hundred feet?! What, did Alice buy the biggest one she could find?!"

Now even Joe is laughing at me and I'm not quite sure I like it. Maybe this Mr. C who owns Echo Charlie is as aloof with spending as Alice is.

"Don't be silly, Bella. Alice rented the biggest one she could find. I mean, really, we did not buy a yacht just for your birthday."

I notice the dance in Edward's voice and I elbow him, and as expected, it winds up only hurting me. Ever the gentleman, he gently rubs my elbow. I love when Edward touches me, but I'm careful to avoid making any sort of embarrassing moaning sound, though it's quite difficult not to.

Joe lowers Echo Charlie onto the landing pad and once we're safely parked on the yacht, Edward unfastens my harness and we climb out. I pause when I see Joe make no attempt to move from his seat.

"Aren't you staying, Joe?"

"I'm afraid I cannot Isabella. Mr. C lives in town and he expects his toy back promptly or he'll fear Echo Charlie has gone missing."

I pout realizing that I won't be taking another ride in Echo Charlie.

"Well then, thank you, Joe."

I reach my hand out and caress one of Echo Charlie's seats, sorry to see him go.

"Goodbye, Echo Charlie."

Joe and Edward laugh at me and my sudden attachment to the helicopter and Edward shuts the door much to my dismay. As we're walking away I hear Joe on the radio, and Echo Charlie lifts off into the night.

"Echo Charlie – Charlie, Hotel Echo," Joe's voice trails off as he and Echo Charlie begin their journey home.

"I want my own Echo Charlie"

Edward stares at me like I've spouted a second head.

"Absolutely not."

"And why not?"

"You're not vampire enough to withstand a crash in one of those."

"What are you insinuating?"

He points at me and tries to hold back a laugh.

"Danger magnet."

"I'm getting an Echo Charlie."

"You most certainly are not."

"Watch me."

Normally I would cringe at the idea of buying a helicopter. It's just too much, but I have to admit… the idea of my very own Echo Charlie is beyond thrilling. I make a mental note to find out how much a helicopter and flying lessons will cost me. All I really need to do to get the money is look under a few couch cushions to be honest. I'm fairly sure if I tapped into Carlisle's investment accounts, the Cullens could single-handedly solve the national debt without feeling a thing.

"Bella!"

Alice screeches at full volume and rushes towards us.

"How was the flight?"

I grin like a fool and wrap my arms around her.

"Thank you so much! I can't wait to get my very own Echo Charlie!"

Alice pauses and then starts squealing. I'm so excited; this must mean I do get my own Echo Charlie.

"Absolutely not, Alice."

Edward is pinching the bridge of his nose, but I couldn't care less.

I'm getting my very own Echo Charlie!

Alice drags me away from the helipad and down a flight of stairs onto a large deck, all decorated with colorful lanyards and white, twinkling lights. I look up and see Echo Charlie disappearing in the distance. Alice gives a gentle tug on my arm and leads me indoors into a spacious great room. In the far corner is a large flat screen television set mounted on the wall, underneath a high-tech sound system is playing Michael Buble's "Home." I love this song.

"You are one spoiled brat, Lit Bit."

I turn around to see Emmett strolling in from the deck, a sad smile playing on his face. I tilt my head and smile at him. It dawns on me that he would want to ride in the helicopter. I slip into a deep concentration, trying to figure out why Alice couldn't just let Emmett come with us—it would have meant to much to him.

"Don't worry Emmy. Alice says we're getting our very own Echo Charlie."

Emmett's face turns up into a wide, unapologetic smile as he looks from me to Alice and back again. The loud stomping of feet making their way down the stairs causes Emmett to smirk. I giggle as Edward approaches, deep in conversation with Jasper. I think he might be making a case for Alice to take a long trip. No doubt the revelation of our future aviation purchases has Edward planning a long vacation for our little psychic. I look around and notice that Carlisle, Esme, and Rose are nowhere to be seen.

Alice spends the next fifteen minutes or so showing me around the yacht and boy, is it huge! First we walk through the great room and into a game room, complete with a pool table, a full wet bar, and an air hockey table. Alice sees my eyeing the air hockey table and assures me that she already has plans to order one tomorrow morning—Emmett is also quite fond of it.

We continue through a dining area, a spacious kitchen, and down a long hall; which leads us out onto another deck where we find Rose. She's on the back deck by herself, holding a champagne flute, filled with a bubbly drink that I assume is sparkling cider. She extends the flute to me and Alice raises a finger to her lips to signal me to be silent. I bring the flute to my nose and I can tell it's champagne—not sparkling cider.

With how much Edward objects to chocolate chip pancakes, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't approve of underage drinking. I take a tentative sip, and it's simply divine. I'm pretty parched so I swig the rest of the glass, causing both Rose and Alice to give me warning looks; but Rose refills the glass for me anyhow. They continue on in their silence and I suspect Alice is reciting the history of Italian fashion in her head and Rose is walking herself through the rebuild of a V8 engine. I remain quiet and do what I can to keep my mental guard up. I really don't want to get my bartenders in trouble.

Esme finds us on the deck and gives me a knowing glance, cutting her eyes down to the now half empty flute and back up. I blush under her loving stare and I hope she's doing something to block Edward from her thoughts. I really fancy this champagne and I'd like another glass before calling it quits for the evening. Esme and I engage in small talk over the possibility of installing a helipad onto the roof of the garage. Unfortunately, due to the surrounding trees, there's no room above the garage; but Rose is confident we can work around the trees and somehow manage to have an Echo Charlie on the property. She and Esme work through several scenarios with the help of Alice's visions until Carlisle appears off to the side.

"Don't you ladies think our own helicopter will make it more difficult to fit into the surrounding community?"

I smile at Carlisle, wrinkle my nose and shake my head.

"I don't much care—frankly this is the only expensive thing I have ever asked for, and I'm a little put out that considering all of the toys all of you people have, that you would deny me this one thing."

Carlisle shakes his head, smiling. "I didn't say we couldn't get a helicopter, I merely said it would make fitting in more difficult. I thought you wanted to fit in, Bella."

"Yes, well, that was before I discovered Echo Charlie."

Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and Rose burst into laughter—obviously amused by my infatuation with Echo Charlie. Esme composes herself and strides towards me, linking our arms and furnishing me with a fresh glass of champagne. I'm pretty damn lucky all in all. I take the glass from her and we stride down a narrow outdoor walkway and back to the great room where Alice and I left Emmett.

"You need something to eat and then it's time for presents."

I groan and practically stomp my feet as we forge ahead.

"Really, Mom, because the yacht, and Echo Charlie isn't enough?"

Esme laughs and we join Edward, Jasper, and Emmett back on the large deck. Edward moves so that he's standing next to me. I smile at him and absentmindedly take a sip of my champagne.

"What in the hell!"

Before I can object, Edward rips the flute from my hand and glares at me before fixing his eyes on Esme.

"Mother—this is highly inappropriate."

I don't like the tone he's taking with her and I stand protectively in front of her.

"Are you my father?"

My question catches Edward off guard and he shakes his head, seemingly confused, and a bit disgusted. He appears to be offended.

"What? No!"

I narrow my eyes and take a step forward and quickly snatch the flute back from him before chugging the remaining champagne. Everyone is silent and I see that Carlisle, Alice, and Rose have joined us now. I'm as shocked as everyone else that I managed to wrangle the champagne away from Edward, but I don't dare gloat for fear of angering him further.

"Well then, quit acting like it."

"It is in your best interest, Isabella, that you avoid alcoholic beverages; but above that—it is imperative that you know your place. Do not challenge me again."

I blink, intimidated and confused. Why is he so mad? It's just a little champagne for Pete's sake!

Good Lord, Edward!

Nobody has spoken a word since my bad ass show of speed, but now the silence just feels uncomfortable. I'm a little scared of Edward, but I feel safe enough with my family surrounding me. I know that Edward would never hurt me. I can't explain it—I just know. I jut my chin out and even though I'm a little shaky, I refuse to back down.

"I don't know who you think you are, Edward, but you can't just drop into my life after seventeen years and act like you're my parent. I have a mother, and I've had two fathers. I don't need a third."

Unable to face him further, I spin around and head for the interior of the yacht, ready to hide out until we can go home. I don't even make it one step forward before Edward has spun me back around and is hugging me tightly.

"I apologize for my behavior, Bella. I feel this all-consuming need to protect and care for you, and I'm not very sure how to manage these feelings. Please understand."

I want to push him away, but there's nowhere else I would rather be. In a moment of anger, I'm Isabella; but in a moment of regret, I'm Bella. I think I can work with this. Underneath all of his idiosyncrasies, Edward is a terribly predictable being.

I understand what Edward is trying to tell me on a fundamental level, but I'm having trouble applying it to our relationship. I just can't fathom he could feel the same for me that I feel for him. From the moment I felt him cradling me in his arms after the crash, I knew there was nowhere else I would ever want to be. When he wraps his arms around me, he is both gentle and strong, and I feel this calming aura surrounding me.

"Have you forgiven my brutish behavior?"

"No, I haven't. I don't grant forgiveness, I get even."

I pull back and smile at him. His own smile is half of enjoyment and half of fear. Alice snickers and pulls me indoors from the deck and through the great room into the dining room. The long table is now covered with catering trays full of food. Some of it smells divine, and some of it I can't recognize. Alice tells me to be silent and dips her petite hand into the corner of a tray that holds steamed vegetables. I lean over to see her carefully lifting the metal bottom to reveal a hidden level of food underneath the vegetables. It looks like hot dogs. I reach in and grab one, complete with its own bun, dressed just as I like it—with mustard and onions.

We walk around the table and Alice shows me what is beneath which trays. Underneath the spinach is an assortment of French fries, onion rings, and cheese sticks. Underneath the baked chicken are hamburgers, and below the salad is a stash of nachos with individual cheese containers. I grin at Alice and load up a plate with the goodies. Alice loads up a plate of her own and I think she's crazy… I mean, unless she pulls out a deer or something, I don't think she'll be eating this evening. She fills the plate with steamed vegetables, baked chicken, an oyster dressing, and some salad. She comes around to me just as I'm shoving the last of my hamburger in my mouth. So far I have consumed a hot dog, a hamburger, three cheese sticks, two onion rings and a handful of French fries.

"Hurry up. He's coming."

She's whispering in my ear and it tickles, but I avoid giggling because I hear footsteps coming towards us. Before I know it, Alice has replaced my plate of goodies with her plate of 'Edward approved' food; and I haven't a clue where the last of my 'Bella approved' food has gone. I'm pretty full anyway, I'll just have to come back and graze some more later. When Edward walks through the doorway, he smiles brightly at my plate.

"Do you like it, Bella?"

I'm really full, but I force myself to eat a few bites anyway. I nod, doing my best to keep the peace. I really want to eat an onion ring in front of him and watch his beautiful butterscotch eyes bug out of his perfect head, but that wouldn't be fair to Alice. I eat about half of my plate and set it down.

"That was good. Thanks."

"But you've hardly eaten a thing. Please eat some more."

My inner self hides in the corner shaking her head. She can't eat another bite. But Alice is giving me this look like I'm going to pay dearly if I don't oblige him. So I pick my plate back up and nervously chew through a piece of chicken, half my salad, all of the oyster dressing, and most of the steamed vegetables. Every time I go to set my fork down, Edward raises an eyebrow at me expectantly.

"I'm really full now. Thanks, again."

Edward nods and gestures for me to come to him. I don't want to walk. My stomach is dangerously close to expelling the ungodly amount of food it has consumed this evening; but he's Edward and I can't help myself.

I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.

I chant to myself, willing my stomach to comply as I approach Edward. No sooner than I am standing before him, he grabs me, tucking me tightly into his side and we're zooming out of the dining room and back on the large deck where everyone is casually mingling. The speed and wind put my stomach in a precarious position. Maybe I shouldn't have eaten the hamburger after I ate the hot dog.

We stop in front of Carlisle and Esme, both of them staring down at me with concern on their faces. Edward releases me and I wobble on my feet. I really don't feel so well. Edward zooms away and returns with a chair, which I gladly sit in. He leaves forward and brushes a few strands of hair out of my face and I smile. He's inches away from me.

"Are you feeling alright?"

I let out a breathy 'yes', and he smiles crookedly.

"Is your stomach giving you trouble?"

I stumble over my words nervously. Somehow, he knows.

"I suspect you're not feeling very well right now. A girl your size consuming all that fried food and then eating the meal I planned for you. I am surprised you have yet to puke."

I glare at him. The bastard knew what he was doing when he plied me with all that food. The smile that graces his lips is simply heavenly. God couldn't have created a more perfect creature, I have no doubt. I lose myself in his playful gaze and instinctively, I lean forward a fraction of an inch. Edward leans in as well and my stomach lurches.

Kiss me! Kiss me! Kiss me!

My moment of near bliss is interrupted by Emmett clearing his throat. Edward and I glare at him. Well, I glare at him, and I'm pretending that Edward is as well. Rose has her arms crossed and is giving Emmett the dirtiest look I've ever seen her give anyone, and that's saying something. I hear her mutter "so close" and "asshole" under her breath as she turns her body away from him in an effort to ignore his presence. The look Emmett is giving Edward is curious. I'm not quite sure what it means, but he seems displeased with Edward for some reason that is beyond my comprehension. Edward turns his attention back to me and smiles.

"It's present time."

Alice walks up, a small, rectangular box in her hand. I smile, just a little nervous because it looks like a jewelry box. She extends the box towards me and everyone gathers round. I stand up because I feel a little silly being crowded around by all of them while I'm sitting down. The box is so beautifully wrapped with a silver bow on top that I almost don't want to open it. I carefully undo the bow and slide it off the box before removing the lid. Inside I find that my present from Alice is my very own American Express 'black card.' I'm not quite sure why I need one of these suckers… I mean, I never really go shopping anyway—and then it dawns on me. With my own 'black card', I can buy an Echo Charlie without the hassle of searching under mattresses for cash.

"Thank you, Alice! This is great!"

Edward is giving Alice a look, but he remains silent. Next is Jasper, who gives me a card and inside I find that he has decked out the home gym with a bunch of new equipment and a trampoline—which he thinks I'll enjoy testing my abilities with. I beam at him because I can't imagine a better teacher than Jasper. Next is Rose who tosses me a set of keys with an envelope attached to them. I barely catch the keys and the envelope almost detaches and flies into the sound. The keys are very nondescript and I eye them curiously.

"Open the envelope."

Rose's tone is clipped, but that's just how she is. I shrug it off and open the envelope. There's no card—just two three by five glossy photographs. The first is of a shiny red classic pick up, and the second looks like the same pick up, but in much worse condition. I look from the keys to the photo and back again before looking at Rose. She just nods her head and I close the three feet between us and hug her tightly. Once I realize that I'm hugging Rosalie I back off and she gently shoves me away.

"It's just a truck, hybrid."

I look at the photo again and see how painstakingly the truck has been restored.

"Thank you, Rose. This must have taken hours."

She shrugs, obviously uncomfortable with the attention. From anyone else she would be glowing with praise, but I seem to be making her uncomfortable.

"Don't think this means I like you."

I nod and grin at her like a fool. This does mean she likes me, she just won't admit it. My inner self does a little fist pump because in one night I've got my own credit card without a spending limit, my own truck—which is absolutely perfect, and Rosalie's acceptance. This night could not possibly get any better, but then I realize I have more gifts to receive and my inner self does a little dance; until she looks at Edward who seems unhappy with me having my own vehicle—particularly after I wrecked his.

Maybe this means he'll have to ride with me?

Esme gives me a long gold envelope and I open it to find a short note telling me that she, Alice, Rose, Grandma Marie, and I are all scheduled for a girl's weekend in San Francisco. She knows I've always wanted to visit. I hug her, thrilled that I'll finally get to see 'the city by the bay', and that Grandma Marie will be coming with us.

Edward stretches an arm out, holding a rectangular, black velvet jewelry box, and he almost seems nervous. I'm so overwhelmed with all of the gifts—they just keep getting better and better. I can't even imagine what's inside this box now. I take the box and smile up at him reassuringly. It's from Edward. I think I'd like it even if he gave me a pile of mouse terds.

Inside the box is a beautiful silver necklace with the Cullen crest hanging front and center. I smile because this gift signals Edward's acceptance of me as a part of his family.

"Turn it over."

Edward's voice is timid and I do as he asks. On the other side is a beautiful swan with 'Swan' written just as 'Cullen' is on the other side. I can feel the tears forming in my eyes. As much as I've been welcomed as a Cullen, they've all took care to not forget my birth father—Charlie Swan. I look back up to Edward and he smiles sadly and takes a thumb to my streaming tears, wiping them away.

"Thank you."

I can't get much out because I've literally been moved to tears. Edward nods and I can tell he knows how much this means to me. I ask him to put it around my neck and he does so, 'Cullen' side up.

"My turn!"

Emmett shouts, startling me, and irritating Rose—again. He runs off and when he returns, he's holding a large box that he sits at my feet. I swear he looks like an ADHD kid, or Alice when she's shopping. I don't think he could be happier right now. I bend down and unwrap the box to find a pair of hiking boots, a camouflage-designed poncho and a catalog for R.E.I. I pick up the boots and the poncho and laugh at Emmett.

"What's all this, Emmy?"

I see Edward out of the corner of my eye and he looks livid, positively angry. Carlisle and Rose and smirking and Alice is stifling a giggle.

"I'm going to teach you how to hunt!"

I look at the hiking boots and the poncho again, a little confused.

"Hunt?"

Oh, hunt!

I can't believe he wants me to… hunt.

"The poncho will act as a bib of sorts… the first time is always messy."

I grimace at the thought and everyone but Edward breaks into a fit of laughter. I can't hunt. I'm not drinking blood. I refuse.

"Thanks for the thought, Emmett, but uh, I'm not going down that dietary path."

"Actually, you are." Emmett is speaking with such finality that my eyes bug out and I think I'm going to be sick.

"Carlisle, I think it's your turn."

Esme's voice is soft and she's clearly trying to distract me from Emmett's plans for my diet. I'm not really sure what to say. I don't drink blood. I'm not going to be drinking blood, and I'm most certainly not going hunting! The very thought is disturbing and both of my dinners are in danger of making an appearance. I sit the boots and the poncho back into the box and move it off to the side.

The casual crowd around me starts to slowly move closer to Carlisle—all except for Edward who moves to stand half in front of me in a protective stance. I don't get it at all.

"Carlisle—I beg you not to do this."

Do what?!

My inner self is running for cover. She's unsure of what's going on, but she has no plans of sticking around to find out. I peek around Edward's lanky frame to see my family standing in a row, side by side. Carlisle and Esme are in the middle flanked by Alice and Jasper on their left, and Rose and Emmett on their right. They all look so serious, so solemn, so… so much like vampires.

Vampires!

I'm not afraid of my family, but I am intimidated by them in this moment. Even Alice sounds deadly serious.

"Edward, this is happening with or without your consent. Please move aside."

I gulp and Edward moves to the side so that he's no longer in front of me, but standing protectively beside me. I don't understand, and I'm starting to worry. Everyone's face lightens a little and Carlisle smiles.

"Isabella Marie—for your birthday, I would like to offer you a gift that you are free to refuse."

I don't understand why Carlisle thinks I would refuse his gift, but the feeling on this yacht is getting pretty ominous, and my nerves are about shot.

"If you want, and only if you want… we would like to offer you the gift of immortality."

Oh!

I stay silent, absorbing what this means. Edward moves in front of me, holding me close to him and shielding my view of the others with his back to me.

"No! I will not allow it."

"This is not your decision, Edward. Stand aside and allow Bella to make her own choices."

Carlisle sounds deadly and this stand-off between he and Edward is frightening me.

"I will tear you limb from limb and burn the pieces if you insist on offering her immortality, Father."

Edward is hissing and growling between his words and even though I'm certain he won't hurt me, I can't guarantee he won't hurt any of them.

"And that goes for the rest of you as well."

I want to stop this madness and calm him down, but I don't know how to. I can't even will myself to speak or move. Edward spins around and he's tucked me into his side again and we're flying through the yacht. We're moving so fast I can't see what's happening. I close my eyes and hold on. I don't necessarily want to be leaving with him, but I have a feeling that I haven't a choice.


	8. Chapter 8

**Bite to Break Skin**

**Chapter Eight**

**Bella**

I shut my eyes and keep them closed as Edward cradles me into his side while he flies through the yacht. As if being on a yacht is not bad enough—now we're flying at hyper speed through said yacht.

_Really, Edward!_

I don't know exactly how human I really am… but come on, I _do_ get motion sickness. I hear a loud splash below and moments later we're falling in the air and land with a hard thud. I don't dare open my eyes to see what is going on, but my stomach is in my throat and I'm not certain how much longer I can hold both my dinners in for. I cling to Edward that much tighter, somehow convincing myself that if I continue to keep my eyes closed that everything will be okay.

"Bella?"

Edward is calling my name, but I don't move. I'm not sure I _can_ move without assistance. I feel him move around me, his hands under my arms and he tries to remove himself from my clutches. If I weren't so terrified right now, I might think it was cool that I seem to be resisting him and his super human strength.

"Bella? Are you alright?"

Again, I don't speak and I don't move as he tries to remove me from his side once more. After a few moments of struggling, he gives up, and I don't know where his arms are now. I have my arms wrapped around his chest and my legs around his waist. If he were human, I would be crushing him right now.

"Bella, if you don't let go, I can't turn the motor on, and we'll never get home."

_Motor?_

_Home!_

The very idea of getting home, on land, in my room, in my bed…

_Home!_

Without another thought, I let go of him entirely and begin to fall, but as expected, his marble arms catch me before I hit the floor beneath me, and he sits me down on a flat surface. My eyes are still closed and my stomach is still in my throat. I'm in a precarious position.

"Isabella… open your eyes at once."

My eyes shoot open in protest and I scowl at him. The moment I do, I lose focus of everything and scramble to the edge of the small motor boat we seem to have boarded. I lean over the side and heave my dinner into the Puget Sound. I don't know how long I throw up for—time seems to pass in a strange sort of way when you're expelling your dinner into a large body of water.

By the time my stomach feels less restless, I realize that I'm crying and sweating. What a fine mess I must be. Edward is rubbing circles on my lower back in a comforting manner, but all I really want to do is break said fingers. I glare at him as he turns on the motor and begins to casually steer the little boat away from the yacht and away from the marina. How dare he do this to me—to everyone… on my birthday no less. He's ruined everything, including my make-up.

"Are you feeling better?"

I feel outraged that he has the nerve to try and comfort me since he's the reason I'm so upset.

"No! I'm not feeling better. Why in the hell did you do that?"

I take a deep breath and look to the yacht. They're a ways away now, the distance growing every second, but I can see their faces clearly. They all look so sad. I'll have to tell Carlisle that we can add 'super cool vision' to my growing list of non-human abilities.

"I did what needed to be done."

I am baffled by his defense strategy. Is that really what he thinks?

_Crazy fucking vampire._

"You _needed_ to drag me away from my family during my birthday party!"

I'm not even asking a question. I'm flat out, no holds barred, yelling at him. I turn my body around and plop down on the floor of the boat. I look at my outstretched legs and notice one of my shoes is missing. I look around the boat and realize my poor shoe is nowhere to be found. My eyes fall on Edward and he is mindlessly steering the boat and scowling at the floor before him. I can practically see the wheels of his brain turning at hyper speed as he processes the best response, but not even his vampire speed can get him out of this one.

I look to my left and see my family, still watching us from the yacht. Esme looks like she wants to cry. I know I sound like a baby, but I start crying anyway. I really want my mom right now. I see Esme remove her shoes and begin to climb the rails on the yacht, but Carlisle gently eases her off the ledge. How could anyone _not_ love that woman? She was about to jump ship and swim to comfort me.

"Don't worry, we'll be home, soon."

I turn back to my right to face Edward. He's looking right at me, his eyes seem apologetic and I almost relax around him. Part of me wants to crawl into the nook under his arm again. I always feel safe in his arms. But the rational part of me reminds the love sick little girl why we're on this motor boat in the first place.

"Why?"

Edward takes a deep breath. I realize how often he does that when he is preparing for something, even though he doesn't need to. It's like he's pretending to be human and I want to puncture one of his wind pipes. I don't think I can puncture it, and I know it won't do any good… but I really want to anyway. I wait a few minutes and ask Edward again, still no answer. I ask a third time and he lets out a loud huff.

_That's it!_

I look down at my lonely shoe and decide that half a pair is really no use anyway, and I quickly remove it from my foot and chuck it at Edward's head. I smile to myself, despite the look of despair on his face. The flying shoe didn't even cause him to flinch. I knew it wouldn't… but it sure made me feel better momentarily.

"**Why!**"

I'm screaming and I know I won't win any points for maturity right now, but I really don't care. There is so much about Edward and his behavior that I don't understand, and it's about time he starts giving me some answers. I continue to stare at him for a few more moments as he sits there, completely still, mentally retreated within himself.

Edward's phone rings from within his jack pocket and I jump. It's been so quiet for so long, the noise startles me. Edward quickly answers the phone and I close my eyes, focusing my ears on the ensuing conversation.

"Edward!"

It's Alice, exasperation clear in her voice. I keep my eyes closed out of fear that my other sense will override my ability to hear her. Edward remains silent, unsure of how to respond, I'm sure.

"Clearly, you didn't think this out or I would have known about it. I'm only calling because I have to warn you. You can't take Bella to Denali, Edward."

_Denali?_

_What happened to home!_

Edward huffs and Alice continues.

"Trust me when I tell you that Bella meeting Tanya right now is a _bad_ idea."

_Tanya?_

I think back to stories I've heard of Edward and I remember Tanya being the vampire who has pursued Edward for decades. I kick my foot out and wince when it hits the boat. I don't open my eyes, but I feel one of Edward's smooth hands rubbing my poor, bruised toe. My lips turn up in an involuntary smile and my mind wanders. Sitting on this little motorboat, having my toe rubbed almost makes me forget about that harlot Tanya, trying to seduce _my_ Edward. Perhaps Alice is right, meeting Tanya would be a bad idea.

"So I booked you a room at the Four Seasons. Turn that boat back around and take it to the marina, there will be a car waiting for you."

"Thank you, Alice," Edward says in an almost uncomfortable voice.

"Take care of her and bring her home soon. She's my family, Edward. I mean it."

I love Alice. I really do. I would do anything for her. Dead, undead, blood drinker, whatever she is, whatever I am… she's my sister, my family.

Edward removes his hand from my foot, ends the call and swiftly turns the boat around, heading us back to the marina. I should still be angry with him, and I think I might be, though I can't be certain. His touch and his voice do me in and I feel as though I don't have a backbone. I become a jellyfish.

"Bella, it's awfully late, we'll be spending the evening at the Four Seasons so we don't have to make the trip back to Forks."

I open my eyes but avoid his gaze. Yes, I am still mad at him. I don't want his intense, golden eyes to weaken my resolve. I keep my eyes trained on my feet. Clearly, Edward has no intention of taking me home right now, and if he was considering Alaska, then he likely never had any intention of taking me home to begin with. Once we're off this boat, I will get answers—even if I have to detach one of his limbs to get them.

Silence fills the space between us for the next few minutes and I concentrate on my breathing. I feel better now that my stomach isn't harboring enough food to feed a small village, but I don't want to push it until I'm sure. I keep my eyes closed and think over all the things I really need to speak to Edward about. I've only known him for a few days and yet I have so many questions I need to ask him. He knows so much about me and I barely know a thing about him. Well, minus the whole anal retentive personality trait thing.

"Bella—we're here."

I open my eyes to see that we're at the marina and Edward is tying the motorboat to a large wooden peg that supports the dock. I'm sure there's a name for it aside from "wooden peg thingy", but I'm not in the mood to ask Mr. Know-It-All a damn thing. Edward hops onto the small dock and leans down to give me a hand up. I look at my bare feet and realize that I'll be walking into the Four Seasons like some poverty stricken refugee. I stand up and smooth out my dress, reminding myself that poverty stricken refugees typically aren't dressed this nicely. So instead I look like a spoiled rich kid who threw her shoes at her brother and they, in turn, got lost at sea. I really don't like the "spoiled rich kid" label, but I suppose if the shoe fits…

"Bella?"

I snap out of my thoughts and reach up, taking Edward's hand. I only take his hand because I'm clumsy enough to fall into the water if left to my own devices. Once I'm firmly on the dock I see a gentleman in a sharp black suit and chauffeurs hat approaching us. He's carrying a pair of hotel room slippers with him.

_Bless you, Alice._

"Mrs. Cullen, your slippers."

The gentleman carefully sets the slippers on the dock before me and I slip into them. They're very soft, but my feet are pretty dirty now. I'll have to steal Edward's slippers when we get to the room. I look up at the gentleman and smile appreciatively.

"Mr. Cullen, my name is Jack, and I'll be your chauffeur this evening. Your sister phoned and let us know that your wife lost her shoes when you deboarded the yacht. I do hope the slippers will do."

_Wife!_

_Wife?_

A mischievous grin spreads on my face and I look at Edward who looks nervous and unsure. This is going to be fun.

_Wife._

I know exactly what I'll charge to my 'black card' first… that canary yellow Porsche that Alice has been eyeing. I may not be Edward's mate, and I may not be able to keep him—but I sure as hell can play house in the meantime. I reach out and grab Edward's arm and yank him to me, I'm surprised by my own strength, but I don't gloat on it—I have more pressing matters to attend to.

"Thank you, Jack, this one was in such a rush to get me to the hotel he couldn't wait to let me walk like a normal person."

I grin up at Edward who is actually stuttering. If he were a human, he'd be peeing himself right now. Slowly, he turns to me wide eyed and questioningly. I give him my best squeeze and continue to grin up at him. Edward quickly turns his focus back to Jack who is smiling at us happily.

"Ah, young love, I remember what that feels like."

Jack gives Edward a wink, and I stifle a giggle. This is too easy—far too easy. Right now, I'm super glad I have Emmett for an older brother—he's taught me well. I beam up at Edward and use my left hand to rub my stomach.

"Well, we would have waited if this one hadn't been so eager to be a daddy."

Jack blanches and Edward gapes at me. I don't know if vampires can have panic attacks, but if it's possible, Edward sure is on his way to one right now.

_Kidnap me, you, jack ass._

Jack mumbles a 'congratulations' and swiftly turns around. I move quickly to follow him, not wanting to be alone with Edward when he looks so homicidal, but he isn't letting me go.

"Isabella—I demand that you stop these antics right now. You are only drawing attention to us… attention we cannot afford."

I smirk at him and narrow my eyes. I keep my voice in a low hiss so that Jack won't hear.

"You listen to me… you drag me away from my birthday party for reasons you won't explain, you boss me around, monitor my eating habits, you purposefully make me sick, and you have the nerve to tell _me_ to stop _my_ antics? I swear to God I have half a mind to rip your fucking arm off and beat you with it!"

Edward growls quietly and turns his head away from me. I do a mental happy dance.

_I win!_

What I win exactly, I'm not sure. I've lost my family, my shoes, most of my respect for Edward, and now I think I'm losing what little sanity I had left… so really, whatever I think I've won seems trivial at this point.

I shake myself from my thoughts as Edward and I follow Jack to the waiting car. We climb in the back and ride in silence for the short drive. My "antics" as Edward calls them are no longer amusing me and the reality of the situation is setting in. I don't know when Edward plans to let me return home, but I have a feeling it won't be anytime soon enough for my liking.

Jack pulls the car up to the front of the hotel and Edward informs him not to get out, that we can let ourselves out. Jack obliges Edward's request, though he seems uncomfortable with it—or us, I'm not entirely sure which. Our carefree demeanor on the dock has since vanished and instead of looking like newlyweds in love we look like an old married couple waiting for the other to croak.

I wince at the thought. Really, my internal monologue is almost as upsetting as Edward's controlling nature. Edward obviously cannot die, but I think I still can…

_So many questions!_

I don't even know where to start. I am careful to avoid putting my hand in my mouth so that I don't chew off my nails and in-turn eat the polish Alice so delicately applied. Instead, I focus on Edward and the conversation he is having with the woman behind the check-in desk. He's charming her and he doesn't even seem to realize he's doing it. And she, of course, is eating it up like he's a perfect gentleman. Man, oh man, is she fooled.

She hands him the key cards to our room… the Presidential Suite. Sheesh, hasn't Alice ever heard of a standard room? At least, I reason, in larger accommodations, I can avoid Edward until I've decided exactly what I want to say to him. The woman behind the check-in doesn't even register my presence so I take the opportunity to give her a rather snotty look. She hasn't really done anything wrong, but it makes me feel better. Edward catches the look and hastily leads me toward the elevators where he pushes the call and when it arrives, taps the button for the tenth floor. I ignore him, continuing to scowl at the elevator doors.

Edward seems more intent on paying attention to me the more I ignore him and it's sort of cute—in an obnoxious, I'm-considering-yanking-your-beautiful-hair-out sort of way. He turns his body so that all of him is facing me and he looks puzzled. My arms are crossed and I'm doing my best to avoid any movement.

_Yes, Edward, I can brood, too._

The elevator dings and the doors open. I make a quick exit before realizing that I don't know where which direction the room actually is. Edward catches up quickly and resumes the lead, making a right and walking down the long hallway. We reach the end to find the room marked "Presidential Suite" and Edward opens the door for me and steps aside. I walk in to find the suite to be similar to other "Presidential" suites we have stayed in. It's all very luxurious and modern and well kempt. Nothing impressive and nothing surprising.

I walked down the hall to the left and poke around before finding the bedroom door and slamming it shut behind me. I kick off my slippers and walk to the large wardrobe where another two more pairs of slippers and two robes hang on hooks. I grab a fresh pair of slippers and a robe and make my way to the bathroom where I quickly undress, grab a hair tie from my clutch to put my hair up with, and climb into the shower. I feel sticky and just generally gross from riding in that little motorboat with all the bugs swirling around, yet carefully avoiding the dead guy on board with me.

The hot stream from the shower feels comforting on my skin. I let the soft beads of water soothe my frazzled nerves. After a few minutes of "shower therapy" as I call it, I begin to wash myself. For a Presidential Suite, their complimentary soap is sort of lacking. I don't even want to think about how much this room is costing us, because then I'll truly be embarrassed by the luxuries afforded to me.

Once I feel clean, I exit the shower, dry off, and slip the robe and clean pair of slippers on and walk back to the bedroom. I'm surprised to find Edward sitting on the bed, facing me, but not looking up at me. I feel a momentary sadness that he looks so upset, but it quickly passes when I remember why I'm mad at him.

"Isabella, I need to explain something to you."

_Here we go with the formality again._

"Isabella isn't interested in what you have to say, but Bella isn't opposed to listening."

Edward nods his head and continues to study his shoes.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I panicked when I didn't know what to do. I am sorry for ruining your birthday party—that was not my intention."

I nod even though I don't think he can see me. He sounds apologetic and saddened, and almost vulnerable. In all the stories I've heard of him, in everything I've witnessed, Edward has never struck me as vulnerable.

"There is so much you do not understand just yet—and for _them_ to offer you immortality without having fully explained the price you would be paying was not fair to you. It was no more fair to you than stealing you away from _them_ was."

I slowly walk over to him and sit next to him on the bed and absentmindedly pat his knee. The small, but intimate gesture causes his head to shoot up and his eyes are black as night. I gulp in surprise.

_He looks hungry._

I try to speak but my vocal chords feel like they're glued shut and my heart is racing. I'm not afraid of Edward, in fact, I feel enchanted by him. The way he's looking at me, like his eyes are boring through my skin and right into my soul, I feel naked, completely and utterly naked. With that thought I realize that aside from the fluffy, white robe, I _am_ completely and utterly naked. My normally modest demeanor seems to have left my body and I lean in closer to Edward, convincing myself that I'm just examining his coal black eyes.

My brain feels as though it has shut down completely when Edward's tongue escapes his mouth and he swipes it across his lips. I may actually be panting. I feel my body heating up in places and in ways I wasn't aware it could, and my breathing is labored.

_Kiss me!_

No sooner than the thought appears in my head do I feel Edward's right hand on my face, his thumb making tiny circles over my heated cheek. The energy between us is like an electric current that is threatening to overtake me and cause my blood to boil. Edward leans in and his breath hitches. I pause, worry temporarily over taking me that perhaps, he really is hungry, and not in the same way that I am; but my fears are quickly put to rest as he leans in and takes a deep breath. He looks blissful and his expression is erotic. Not that I know much about what is and isn't erotic, but from the way my inner thighs are heating up, I would say that Edward is the epitome of erotic, and sensual, and beautiful.

I lean into Edward's hand and my tongue swipes out licking my lips just as Edward's did a moment ago. This is his cue and he leans in and gently presses his lips to mine. Neither of us move for a moment, allowing the sensation to overtake us. Slowly, I begin to move my lips and Edward follows suit. My thighs feel as though they could sponsor a slip and slide contest and I wonder if Edward's body is reacting the same way.

I reach up and place my left hand behind his neck, holding him in place, almost fearful that this moment will pass—or worse, it will all have been a dream. Edward pulls me closer and I'm practically on his lap, though I'm careful to not actually crawl into his lap because of my present state of undress. My chest is pressed against his and despite the layers of clothes between us, my nipples harder and he gasps from the feeling.

I feel a low, inhuman purr coming from my chest spurring Edward on and into a purr of his own; though his is much more forceful than mine. It sounds needy and desperate. The muscles in my belly tighten and this time my purr verges on a growl. In an instant, our kiss goes from gentle and sweet to forceful and raw. We're nipping at each other's mouth as though our very existence depends on it.

Edward pulls me into his lap sideways, and growls again. I'm sitting on his stone lap and the question I had about how this kiss is affecting him is answered. I can feel his hardness, not just the marble feel of his legs, but _that_ particular hardness. I flush and moan at the thought.

_I did this to him._

Edward reacts to my moan by moving his hands down to my backside and gives it a squeeze. I part my lips and give his a lick, growling into them. Edward opens his mouth and I'm greeted with his tongue.

_God, he tastes like heaven._

_I can't believe this is real._

I wiggle on his lap and in a single fluid movement, he stands and re-positions me so that I have to wrap my legs around his waist. The robe falls to the sides of my legs and my bare essence is pushed against Edward's pants and I swear I can feel his hardness twitch. I almost laugh out loud because I sound like a damn Fabio novel or something equally ridiculous that I'd find stashed in Esme's night stand.

I hear a slight tear from below and I squeeze him tight between my legs, causing him to growl loudly and forcefully; a sound I've never heard before. I do it once more for good measure and I hear more tearing but I ignore it. I don't care if the support beams for the entire building are falling apart right now, all that matters is that Edward is here and for lack of a better term, he's ravaging me.

I feel a strong gust of air and then with a hard thud, I've hit a wall. Edward has me trapped between his stone body and the plaster wall. I squeeze him against me one more time and I focus on how to growl on command. What comes out is more like a wimper but with definite growl potential, so I try it again and this time it's definitely a growl.

Edward leaves me mouth and attacks my neck, paying particular attention to my veins. I buck against him and we begin to move against one another. This feels so right, so complete, so perfect, that I can't believe I've gone my entire life without this feeling, without _him_.

**Edward, stop!**

The second we hear Alice's voice we both freeze in place.

**You can't do this Edward, please, stop!**

The sound of Alice's voice is making me dizzy. I focus in and realize she's not in the room, but she's close by, though, how close I can't tell. A sudden flash of light hits me, blinding me to everything else, and then a pale female figure comes into view. I can't see her face, but her long hair mysteriously matches my own. I gasp when I see her belly rounded and protruding out with what could only be an unborn child. As quickly as the vision comes, it disappears and I drop my legs from Edward's waist.

Edward's expression is of confusion and fear, mirroring my own, I'm sure. Holding me gently, Edward carries me to the bed where he sits me down and before I know what's going on, he's left the room.


	9. Chapter 9

**Bite to Break Skin**

**Chapter Nine**

**Edward**

I sit on the bed listening to Bella finish up her shower and exit. I can hear her toweling herself off, the soft terrycloth running over her naked form, and my body reacts immediately. I put my head down and close my eyes, trying to will away images of Bella's perfect breasts. Once you know what a woman's breasts look like unclothed, no amount of mental bleach will erase the image. Not that you would ever want to, though it would be the proper thing to do.

I hear Bella wrap the bathrobe around her and put her slippers back on. I take several deep breaths as a way to center myself and to will the straining in my pants to subside. I cannot let her see me in this state.

_I'm sorry for kidnapping you, now please, sit on my lap._

_When did I become such a teenager?_

The thoughts and images assaulting my mind are disturbing. If only my mother knew what I was thinking right now…

_Problem solved._

I have, unfortunately, had to employ that tactic more times in the past year than I care to mention. The bathroom door slowly swings open and it takes all of my inner strength not to nail Bella to the wall and have my way with her. That would be improper and would go against everything I have tried to accomplish in the last ten years; so I try speaking instead. I keep my voice gentle and soothing. I want Isabella to hear the intention behind my words.

"Isabella, I need to explain something to you."

"Isabella isn't interested in what you have to say, but Bella isn't opposed to listening."

I decide not to protest or even try to explain myself. I know calling her by her formal name is an irritant, and I have more pressing matters to get to.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I panicked when I didn't know what to do. I am sorry for ruining your birthday party—that was not my intention. There is so much you do not understand just yet—and for _them_ to offer you immortality without having fully explained the price you would be paying was not fair to you. It was no more fair to you than stealing you away from _them_ was."

Bella pads her way over and sits next to me on the bed. I'm still trying to will away my erection, but she looks so good in just a bathrobe and nothing else.

_Nothing else._

Just when I think the situation can't get more arousing than having my girl, _the girl_ , my Bella, in nothing but a fluffy robe, completely naked underneath, sitting beside me on a bed… she reaches her little hand over and pats my knee. I don't care if I am over a century old, the first time a girl pats your knee while you're sporting a massive boner, you lose all sense of chivalry, and your instincts kick in.

_Claim her._

My head shoots up and we're eye to eye… she looks shocked, I must look very predatory right now… and perhaps she should be scared. My intentions are not pure, nor chaste, hell, they might not even be legal in this state, but I've lost all control of myself and I'm being guided by Satan himself as he strains against my pants.

I try to tell Bella to leave the room. I don't want to do this, regardless of how much she may want me to. She doesn't know what she's getting into. She's looking at me as though I'm a hero and I've rescued her from a burning building as opposed to a kidnapper who's taken her from her family. If it weren't for the fact that she's my mate, I might consider getting her a CAT scan. She shouldn't be looking at me with such unwavering acceptance, but she is. I have a stray thought that the sooner she knows she is my mate, the sooner we can get down to… mating; but I quickly absolve myself of telling her she's my mate. We can mate without such a discussion taking place.

Without the slightest hesitation or bit of caution on her part, Bella leans in toward me and I can feel her breath on my skin. I'm drowning in her scent, and if there is a god, and be he willing, I want _this_ to be the last thing I see. Bella's lo—_love._ I'm taken aback by my own thoughts and I feel my tongue swipe my lips. I don't recall giving it permission to do that, but I'm pretty much on autopilot and I'm fairly certain my body is no longer asking for permission.

Bella's heart race is racing and her skin is dampening in places I can't help but focus on. She's throbbing between her thighs, and it is taking all of my will power to resist unzipping my pants and laying her on the bed. I want to know what she feels like, wet and tight as she's wrapped around me… and then I hear it.

**Kiss me!**

My right hand finds her left cheek and my thumb absentmindedly makes tiny circles over the telltale blush that gives away her nervousness over our intimate position. I have never felt more at peace, more whole, more alive than I do in this moment. If we never get past this, past a gentle brush of her cheek, past gazing into one another's eyes, I will still be a luckier man than I ever thought possible. This look, her look, tells me that I'm not a monster; I'm worth loving, worth her love… I feel absolved of my sins by this look she's giving me.

I lean in so that we're only inches apart and I breathe her in. She tenses up and it occurs to me that she is perhaps worried I want to bite her… which I do… but not in the way she's thinking. I could no more drain the life from her than I could have let her go the moment she was born. I feel my lips forming a smile and I take in another deep breath, blissfully drowning in her intoxicating scent. If this is damnation, I cannot imagine any soul would want to be saved.

Bella's head tilts gently into my hand and she mimics me with her perfect pink tongue sweeping out over her lips. I watch her saliva coat her lips and venom pools in my mouth, and I can no longer resist her. I close the distance between us and gently press my lips to hers. She tastes divine, like death and life and the very definition of beauty at the same time.

Bella's body is heating up and she rubs her legs together. I can smell her arousal, sweet and intense, and I have to stop breathing in order to maintain any sense of control over my body's actions. Bella's left hand snakes up around my neck and her lips begin a slow, deliberate movement against my own. I'm careful to keep my teeth to myself. I don't know exactly how human she is right now and the last thing I want to do is hurt her. Our position is awkward so I pull her about as close as I can get her without having her straddle me.

_There's an idea._

I hold her closely, pressing our chests together, and through her robe I feel her nipples harden. I nearly abandon her mouth in favor of her nipples but decide that would be quite rude. I'm focusing on not breathing and yet, kissing at the same time when Bella rubs her legs together again and then I hear it.

_She's purring._

I'm quickly losing all of my faculties and I feel myself purring in response. I sound like a starving man who just found food—I sound desperate and I suppose in some ways I am starving. I pull Bella into my lap, not exactly the position I had been imagining, but, one thing at a time, I suppose. Feeling Bella sitting on my lap, her weight a top my erection, a growl escapes from deep within my chest. She matches my growl with a moan… low and seductive and I feel myself twitch beneath her as my hands explore her backside, giving her cheeks a gentle squeeze.

Bella parts her lips and licks mine. Her tongue is smooth and wet and she opens her mouth, welcoming me fully. Our tongues slide against one another, slow and erotic. I hear Bella growling and then she wiggles… she fucking wiggles on my lap, giving my erection a crevice between her legs to call home. The thought of being between Bella's legs sends my body into instant action and before I can weigh my options, I'm standing with Bella's legs wrapped around my waist. Her robe has parted and her naked lower half is pressed against my groin. I can feel her wetness on my pants, and I twitch at the moisture. By virtue of being a vampire, my entire body is hard. Linens are fragile in comparison, and unfortunately, right now, my lower extremity is ripping through my pants causing an audible tear.

Bella's legs tighten their grip around me and I can feel the shape of her womanhood. This erection may never die down now. The flimsy fabric keeping me from where I want to be most is tearing under the pressure. With every tear, the heat from her core gets hotter, and I come one step closer to making love to Bella. She squeezes her legs together again and I'm positioned at her entrance, another few rips and nothing will be stopping us from making love. I can feel her throbbing core and the sensation causes me to growl loudly. The poor neighbors must think something horrific is going on in here, and in a way—I suppose they would be right.

I take a few steps forward and press Bella up against the wall, my erection delicately nestled into her womanhood, thinly masked by what's left of my torn pants. She squeezes her legs and a whimper comes out. She looks upset and I worry that she has changed her mind about this, but then she squeezes her legs together again and growls. She looks insanely pleased with herself and I can't help but marvel at this beautiful, strange, erotic woman in my arms. I pull away from her mouth and stare into her eyes to find that the soulful brown I love so much has darkened to a near black. Seventeen years of watching this beautiful creature and I still find myself in awe of the way she fluidly moves between human and vampire and back again.

A low, lustful purr comes from Bella's chest and my eyes shift to her neck. I lick my lips in anticipation.

_You can't drink from her._

_ I know that._

_ Then stop looking at that vein like that._

_ Shut up._

I lean in and gently suck on her neck. That vein, just below her skin, tempts me—pumping Bella's sweet blood… and I tell myself that I have to resist. Unfortunately, my mind is two steps behind my body and my teeth are pressed to Bella's neck. I breathe in her intoxicating scent and bite down. Her fragile human skin is… not so fragile and my attempt to taste her blood has been foiled.

Bella bucks against me, purring, and I realize, yet again, that my beautiful, fragile girl is in all likelihood, stronger than I am. I rub myself against Bella's most sensitive of places and she moves with me. Neither of us have ever been this far before, and I'm not entirely in control of my body or its reactions, but I'm certain that if we don't get to the main event soon, I won't last long enough for her to enjoy herself. Bella grip around my waist is firm, so I allow my hands to travel up her sides in search of her breasts.

**Edward, stop!**

Alice's voice screams in my head, causing Bella and I to both freeze.

**You can't do this Edward, please, stop!**

She's just outside the door to the bedroom and she's panicking. I groan, afraid one of my extremities might just fall off from lack of satisfaction. The reason behind Alice's concern becomes evident when her vision hits me. Bella, my beautiful Bella, with her belly full of… my child, our child. The sight is beautiful and heartbreaking. I cannot allow Bella to carry a child. It would be damned to the same fate as its mother, which is cruel. Bella's legs drop from around my waist and I move to hold her. She may be growing stronger by the day, but her coordination is still dismal. I walk her to the bed where I sit her down, and without a word—run from the room. I make quick work of checking my pants to find there's enough material there to adequately cover my… problem, and I shut the door behind me to find Alice, smirking at me.

"Don't start, Alice."

Her golden eyes are large and innocent—too innocent.

"Well, well, well, big brother… I never thought you'd get that far, but congratulations. You were about three tears from paydirt!"

I look away. Despite how right everything feels when I'm with Bella, I don't find this topic—nor the potential circumstances surrounding it to be something discussed amidst casual conversation. I decide a subject change is in order.

"Was that the first vision of that nature, Alice?"

She sighs, unhappy that I won't casually banter with her right now. My… excitement over the potential events has not died down just yet and I am really hoping my little sister doesn't see me sporting a woody.

_Woody?_

_I need to stop hanging around Emmett, that vampire picks up all the new lingo._

"Yes, until you made the decision to... ravage Bella, I had not seen a vision like that."

I nod and begin to pace the room. I cannot believe I allowed myself to get that carried away and put Bella in such a situation. She's too young to be carousing with boys. I open my mouth to speak but Alice, in her infinite wisdom, cuts me off before I can begin.

"Quit being so hard on yourself, Edward, you know as well as I do that you cannot escape this. Even in South America, my visions were certain—you are fated to be with Bella. So please, stop being so obnoxiously emo about it all."

"I'm not being 'obnoxiously emo', Alice, I'm trying to save her life."

"A life she may not even want saving, Edward."

"The life she deserves to have."

Alice scoffs and I feel my temperature rising.

"Bella deserves her mate. She also deserves to make her own choices."

Alice rushes towards me and smacks my arm to reprimand me. I furrow my brows and stare at her, half annoyed and half confused.

"I don't care how old you are, and I don't care how smart you _think_ you are. When it comes to Bella, you have your head shoved so far up your keester, you can't even see your backside sparkle."

I'm speechless, and trying not to laugh.

"Can I ask you something, Edward?"

I raise my eyebrows at Alice, wondering why she even asks—because no matter the answer, she asks anyway. Unfortunately, I hear Bella has picked up this habit as well.

"Edward… imagine that we don't find a way to stop her transformation… imagine that these next few months, the next year… imagine that's all she has left…"

"Enough!"

My voice is loud and my tone commanding. I cannot bear to imagine a world where Bella does not exist, and if it came to that, I would not exist, either. I hear Alice's thoughts. She's remembering Bella's birth and how Renee had to be destroyed. She's remembering Renee's mother, and all of those in her bloodline who came before her. Every death, every loss, every infant child orphaned. The visions, the memories, are all too much to take.

I turn to Alice and pin her to the wall with my hand on her throat. I catch myself and I'm mortified with my actions, but before I can back off, I feel Alice's tiny foot against my stomach as she sends me across the room and I land with a loud thud on my back. I know better than to take on Alice—Jasper has spent decades training her in combat. She stomps towards me, furious, and puts her tiny little foot on my throat, pushing down with enough force to worry me a little. Alice's golden eyes have gone black with rage and I'm more than a little intimidated by her right now.

"You need to keep a handle on your emotions, Edward. I won't tell Jazz about this, but do not let it happen again. I came here to help you—to save you from making a horrendous mistake. Show some gratitude."

The bedroom door cracks open, Alice and I rush to stand beside one another so as not to tip Bella off to our little squabble, and we smile innocently at her. We are, obviously, terrible liars. Bella is still in that damn bathrobe and her cheeks are pink with embarrassment. She steps out of the bedroom and stares at us curiously. I look to my side and Alice is beaming at Bella. Before I can offer an explanation for our suspicious behavior, Alice darts across the room to a pile of shopping bags I haven't seen before, and then back to Bella where she pulls her inside of the bedroom and the door shuts.

Exactly two hours, seventeen minutes, and thirty four seconds later and Alice emerges, still in her party dress, and a mischievous smile on her face. She informs me that Bella is sleeping and though I'm tempted to peek in on her, I resist. I already have enough of a reputation as a love-sick vampire; I will not be adding fuel to the fire. I catch her eyes glance down my body for a split second before she's focused back on my face.

"There's new pair of pants for you in the bags in the corner… since yours are… well, no longer viable."

I look down, remembering, that my slacks are torn and I'm almost exposing myself to my sister. Oh, how embarrassing. I place my hand in front of my torn pants like a small child who's soiled himself and I look away from Alice. I have enough shame to avoid eye contact when I am in an inappropriate state of undress. I quickly grab a pair of sweatpants and change into them out of Alice's line of sight.

For the next four hours Alice explains to me exactly what I'm missing in my existence. She meticulously details everything from her and Jasper's long conversations to the sex… God, she goes on about the sex for… one hour, twenty six minutes and fifty eight seconds. She swears she's seen the sex between Bella and I and it _is_ definitely something to look forward to.

"Trust me, Edward… you _want_ to have sex with Bella, you two are very… _imaginative_ in the bedroom!"

I should be mortified, but really, I just want to ask her to share her vision… though, I have not totally abandoned my manners, and I clear my throat to signal her to move on.

Eventually Alice has expelled all of her wisdom onto me, or at least she has finally figured out that she's overstayed her welcome, and we say our goodbyes. Once Alice is gone I sneak into the bedroom and find Bella curled up under the covers, snoring lightly. I can't help but smile. Best case scenario, and my love will have decades of restful nights ahead of her. Worst case scenario and she'll spend eternity, never falling into a blissful state of rest again.

I crawl onto the bed, and rest my head on the free pillow. Bella's back is to me, and I find myself playing with her hair. I breathe her in and begin to hum her lullaby. The very lullaby I composed in my head and hummed to her as I held her tiny body to mine on the night of her birth. The very lullaby I play every night as I sit in my room, alone, across the hall from the most exquisite creature—and I remind myself why we can never be.

Minutes pass and Bella rolls over to face me. I smile sadly at the sight before me. _Beautiful and tragic_. I allow my fingers to trace the shape of her face, smooth out her eyebrows, and to run along her cheek. Back and forth, as I cup her cheek in my hand and make small circles with my thumb. _This_ is why I need to keep her breathing—why I need to keep her as human as possible. I may not have agreed at first, but Marie is right. Bella deserves all of the human experiences I can never provide her. She deserves to grow up and grow old and to tell asinine stories of her youth to her adopted grandchildren. She deserves all of the things I cannot provide her.

The sun breaks through the curtains and I catch sight of my hand as it shimmers in the morning light. Disgusted, I pull it back and leave the bedroom in favor of the living room, where I pull the window coverings closed. If I don't have to see my skin in the light, I can pretend for just a little bit longer that I am not a monster. I can ignore the truth of what I am… but I can't ever really forget the sins I've committed—both against myself and against others. I won't allow Bella to be one more person I've destroyed—one more soul I've taken.

Time passes slowly, and I pace the living room, berating myself for my careless actions the night before. The position of the sun changes and I hear Bella stirring—her stomach growling.

_She's hungry._

I phone down to Guest Services and I give the young man on the other end detailed instructions on what I'd like delivered to our room.

_Our room._

_Perhaps this is what they refer to as morning wood._

I flush at my own thoughts and continue with the order as though I'm not turning into a disgusting pervert. As soon as I'm done with the call, Bella opens the bedroom door and immediately turns pink before me.

"Good morning, Bella."

"Morning," Bella says with a tiny yawn escaping her.

"I've ordered your breakfast. It ought to be here shortly."

She nods, still unmoving from the doorway. I realize she's uncomfortable around me and unsure of how to behave. I want to tell her to just be herself;, that she is at her most ethereal when she thinks no one is looking; but I am always looking.

"Bella, will you come sit with me?"

I gesture to the circular dining table and we both move towards it without breaking eye contact. I take a seat and she takes the one across from me. She is uncomfortable and I'm hoping this conversation will put an end to that. She is looking everywhere but at me and if I had any doubt about the state of her nerves—I no longer do.

"I don't regret what happened, not at all, Bella."

She lifts her head and a small smile graces her lips, followed by a soft pink blush to her cheeks. She's magnetic when she's embarrassed.

"I want to show you that I can be a proper gentleman. I would like to take you out."

_Out? Did I just ask her out?_

"Out?"

"Yes, out."

"Out, as in…"

"You know, for a hybrid with advanced cognitive abilities, you are quite slow on the uptake."

She furrows her brows and cocks her head to the side and attempts to suppress a small chuckle that I can hear building behind her closed lips.

_Lips._

"You know, for a vampire of one hundred and eight, you're acting like you've never asked a girl out before."

Now I'm the one who is embarrassed. I begin to rub the back of my neck as though this gesture will actually do me some good to disguise how embarrassed I actually am. My voice is low and uncertain, but I manage to fumble the words out anyhow.

"That's because I haven't."

I look down at the table and suddenly her mind is open to me and I hear her most private of thoughts.

**So, he is a virgin…**

And now I wish I hadn't heard that. I'm mortified that Bella has been thinking about this, but even more so by my body's reaction to her thinking about sex. How am I to remain a proper gentleman when a certain part of my anatomy wants to tip this table over and get up close and personal with her? I don't move and I keep my eyes trained on the table before me. Maybe if enough time passes, she'll get bored with this and walk away. I chance a peek up at her and she looks as embarrassed as I do.

_Shit. I really hope she can't hear me._

**Oh, but I can, Edward.**

_Fuck my life._

"So, will you please accompany me on a date tonight, Bella?"

She purses her lips and shakes her head.

"No."

I'm fractured. One syllable, one word, two letters, and I feel that I'd rather be ripped apart and have the pieces burned than to ever repeat this moment. I nod and stand from the table, with every intention of walking away, until I hear her huff in agitation. I chance a glance at her and her arms are crossed and she's angry.

"You are such a horse's ass!"

Bella is yelling at me and I don't understand why, nor am I in the mood for her outburst. I try to listen to her thoughts, but she's closed herself off to me. I continue to focus until I hear faint murmuring. Her inner voice is snarky and mad.

"No was sufficient, Isabella. There is no need for a tantrum."

"Fantastic!"

**He's such a fucking liar. Stupid fucking lying vampire bastard.**

Bella throws her arms up in exasperation as she stands from her seat and begins to pace the room. All I can do is wonder what the hell just happened here and why she thinks I'm a liar. I do, however, catch that her inner voice has quite the potty mouth.

"That's real great, Edward. Thanks!"

**Fucking vampire is fucking mocking me! I'll bet he **_**did**_** sleep with that… that… Tanya!**

A growl escapes my chest and Bella narrows her eyes and matches my growl with one of her own. I want to scream 'I did not sleep with that woman!,' but then Bella would know I am listening.  
_I'm sorry, Isabella.  
_"Talk to me out loud, Edward and stay the hell out of my head!"  
I'm losing control of my temper and I find myself stalking towards her until I have her pinned against the wall. Her brown eyes are large with confusion and wonder, but I'm too enraged to properly dote. I place my hands on either side of her head and lean in; mere inches from her face. My jaw is locked and my throat is burning in desire and anger and overwhelming devotion.  
"You are my mate, Isabella. Is THAT what you want to hear?"

_Shit. Fuck. Damn. Fuck. Way to go genius._

**What the fuck?  
**I'm angry and seething; this is not how I should have told her.

Bella's mouth hangs open and a wry smile forms on her lips.

**Oh my God! **

**Oh my God! **

**Oh my God! **

**Oh.**

** My.**

** God.**

"Oh, is that all? Well, then yes."

I am speechless. Her thoughts and her words are not lining up—not that they often do.

"What do you mean, is that all?"

**Play it cool, Bella.**

Three knocks on the suite door and the man behind it announces that he's from Room Service and Bella's breakfast has arrived. Still stunned by her reaction to my admission, I back away from her and walk to collect Bella's meal. I hear her breathing pick up and when I open the door, I auto-tune into the hotel employee's thoughts.

**Man, she's a little too happy. Cute, but too damn happy.**

He's watching Bella and through his mind I can see her doing something akin to an awkward dance. She's throwing her hands in the air, kicking her legs up, and shaking her backside. She's lovely when she's being silly. I'm taken aback by her apparent level of joy and the large grin she has on her face. I hand over a twenty and take the cart, turning back to my beautiful girl, who has now stopped her dance and is standing in the center of the room, chewing her lip and staring me down.

_This woman and her moods!_

I haven't the slightest clue what is going on in that head of hers.

"I'm sorry to hear that you will not accompany me out tonight…"

_Give her the soulful, heartbroken pout._

Bella's face relaxes and she looks almost guilty. For a soulless, dead, monster, I pull off the pout with great ease. I roll the cart to the table and assemble her place setting. Bella sits down and takes a bite, mouth full and begins to speak. Only Bella could possibly make this look even remotely attractive.

"No, I said I'll go."

"But," I begin to speak when she waves her empty fork around before grabbing another bite of egg and shoving it in her mouth.

"That's when I thought you were some sort of vampire ho bag."

"A vampire what!"

"You know, the love 'em and leave 'em type?!"

I stare at her perplexed. First of all, she is speaking like Emmett, which means I only understand half of what is coming out of her mouth; and second of all, what I do understand is not making any sense. She shoves a few more bites of food in her mouth before taking a drink of her orange juice and waving her fork again. She seems incapable of speaking without waving her fork.

"Well—I didn't want to be another notch in your bedpost."

"A what?"

"God, Edward, are you even listening?"

I shake my head and rub my temples as though I have a headache. If it were possible, I would. I haven't a clue why Bella would think such derogatory things about me.

"So… you denied my request because you thought… you thought..."

"You were a ho bag," she says casually, again with the waving of the fork.

I turn away, baffled by _everything_ she is saying, and I scratch my head. I have _no_ idea what has happened here since Bella awoke, and even with my perfect vampire recall, I doubt I'll be able to figure it out. When I turn back around, Bella is still eating her food eagerly, pausing every now and then to wave her fork, mumble something about an 'Urban Dictionary', and then chuckle to herself.

A/N: Confused? Yeah, so is Edward. The strange inner-workings of Bella's brain can only be understood from her point of view, which will pick up the next chapter from where Edward tells her that she is his mate.


	10. Chapter 10

**Bite to Break Skin**

**Chapter Ten**

**Bella**

_Fucking vampire is fucking mocking me! I'll bet he did sleep with that… that… Tanya!_

I'm livid. How dare he. Edward must think I am some kind of whore. I mean, really? I've only been living with vampires for the past four years and this bastard thinks he can swoop in and date me and drop me, just like Rose said he did with Tanya.

_Oh, when I tell Emmett and Jasper… just wait, Edward Anthony! You'll be wishing you only had the Spanish Influenza with the amount of pain you're going to feel._

Aside from my anger, I'm offended that he thinks so lowly of me. I live with three perfectly mated vampire couples. I know damn well that vampires don't get crushes and they only fall in love once… _with their mate_. A vampire's mate is truly their other half. Carlisle has told me stories about vampires who have had themselves destroyed after they've lost their mate. I understand the connection, and I can only pray to a God I doubt exists that I have a mate out there somewhere.

A stray, nagging thought plagues me. _I want to be Edward's mate._ This preposterous desire of mine is only going to lead to a broken heart. Were I lucky enough to be mated with Edward, I would know. Surely my parents wouldn't have kept that from me…

_Yeah, well, they didn't tell you that you're a super cool hybrid, either…_

I scowl at my inner self as she shakes her fist at the whole lot of them. She always has some smart answer. I ignore her and continue to glare at Edward. _Jackass._

**I'm sorry, Isabella.  
**"Talk to me out loud, Edward and stay the hell out of my head!"

I'm sorry? Really? He's sorry. What in the hell is he sorry for? Sorry for hiding from me for all those years? Sorry for being so controlling? Sorry for lying to me about being a virgin and sorry for saying he never asked anyone out before? Vampires go through their existences fairly unchanged from their time of death… and so I suppose a leopard doesn't change his spots—Edward the vampwhore won't ever change his ways. The thought saddens me, but then I remember he was planning on using me and losing me, like he did with _Tanya_, and all traces of sadness I have are erased and replaced with anger.

I've been glaring at Edward, but not really _looking_ at him; just generally scowling in his direction. I look into his eyes and see a mixture of emotions. Hurt and sorrow. He looks like a shell of a man and my shoulders slump out of guilt. He looks so broken and I want nothing more than to piece him back together—though, right now, I should want to tear him apart. Maybe I can tear him apart and then piece him back together? My mood swings are giving me whiplash where he's concerned. I might need a therapist.

Edward is fuming mad. I'm actually a little surprised there isn't steam literally coming out of his ears, and if I'm being wholly truthful with myself, I'm pretty frightened. I want to think Edward wouldn't hurt me, but he looks more monster than human, or incredibly beautiful vampire, right now. I also want to think he wouldn't toy with me emotions and use my body… or sleep with _her_, but it seems he is and he has; so it looks like this is all wishful thinking.

Edward stalks towards me and places his hands against the wall on either side of my head. Under any other circumstance, I would be silently begging him to kiss me, but if he tries that… _the ho bag_… I might have to knee him right in his jewelry box. I don't care if I shatter my knee cap in the process. I hear a rumbling in Edward's chest. It's not exactly a growl and it's definitely not a hiss. It sounds like it's coming from his gut—very primal, angry.

"You are my mate, Isabella. Is THAT what you want to hear?"

_What?_

I'm silent and now, so is Edward. He still looks angry, but there's something about the look on his face that tells me he's in deep emotional pain. I try to read him, to see if he's lying, but I'm really no good at this. I decide to play along and try to fish out the truth. I smile up at Edward and pick my jaw up off the floor.

"Oh, is that all? Well, then yes."

Now it's Edward's jaw that has hit the floor. He backs up slightly and appears to be in shock.

"What do you mean, is that all?"

I withhold a giggle as I take in the man before me. Only moments ago he was seething and on the verge of snapping. Now he's baffled. I still can't figure out how honest he's being. It's not that I don't _want_ to be Edward's mate, it's more like I can't allow myself to believe it until I know it's not a joke. I won't recover from this prank if that's what this is.

There's a knock on the suite door and Edward slowly pulls away from me as the man behind the door identifies himself as Room Service. Still facing me, Edward looks as though he's pleading with me. His shoulders are slumped over and he's looking at me through his lashes. And it hits me. Edward is not fucking joking. He's being sincere.

_… Edward has been alone all this time. The hiding from me, the protectiveness… the matching pink outfits._

Part of me wants to faint and the other part is still trying to pick her jaw up off the floor, but all I can do is dance. I watch Edward walk away and break out into the running man. If there was ever a time for the running man, now would be it. It occurs to me that if I don't wrap up this little celebration dance that Edward is going to see me. I stop and stand there, trying to look as innocent as possible, watching Edward as he returns with a Room Service cart, wheels it to the table and sets it up for me. The whole meal smells delicious and I eagerly sit down and begin shoveling food into my mouth.

"I'm sorry to hear that you will not accompany me out tonight…"

"No, I said I'll go."

"But," Edward begins, obviously confused. I try to swallow down my mouth full of food before reassuring him.

"That's when I thought you were some sort of vampire ho bag."

"A vampire what!"

"You know, the love 'em and leave 'em type?!"

Edward is not understanding plain old English, and I'm not sure what to do about that. Sometimes, he is such an old fart.

"Well—I didn't want to be another notch in your bedpost."

"A what?"

"God, Edward, are you even listening?"

_And now he's faking a headache. Vampires don't get headaches!_ I roll my eyes at him. I always get a kick out of the little human mannerisms that vampires carry with them.

"So… you denied my request because you thought… you thought..."

"You were a ho bag," I say as casually as possible. Edward really needs to visit Urban Dictionary and get a clue. I mean, come on, I know he's "old fashioned" and all, but even dad knows what a ho bag is.

I finish up my breakfast and head to the restroom to clean up. When I return, Edward has cleaned off the table. I thank him and stand there awkwardly. I don't suppose that just because we're mates means that it would be okay for me to maul him.

"Isabella," he begins rather quietly, but I cut him off before he can continue.

"Bella," I say sternly, hoping he gets my drift. Thankfully he does.

"Bella. I had planned to take you out to see the city, but Alice has informed me that it's sunny…"

I nod, fully aware that sun means that Edward won't be taking me anywhere until after the sun has set—not unless he wants to be a part of the next advertising campaign for a big name jewelry store.

"If you'd like to go on without me, I'll understand. Considering the reason you're here, it would be unfair to expect you to stay cooped up in here with me."

"No, it's alright," I say coolly and shrug my shoulders, pretending to not care either way, "I'd rather stay here."

We move around one another tentatively before I decide to poke through the bags Alice brought with her last night. Apparently she had made a stop at Barnes and Noble on her way in. There's a Monopoly board game, a chess set, and two novels inside as well as a few magazines and some crossword puzzles. At the very bottom of the bag is an Urban Dictionary. I snort and toss it over my back without looking. I know he'll catch it. When I hear him groan and mutter Alice's name, I know that I predicted correctly.

I pick out Wuthering Heights and The Very Best of Edgar Allen Poe, and show them to Edward and he rubs the back of his neck and babbles incoherently about Poe before taking the book and retreating to the sofa. I clutch Wuthering Heights in my hand and sit at the opposite end of the sofa. By the time Frances dies, Edward and I have each moved a good foot towards one another, and by the time Hindley dies, we're cuddled up next to one another. Neither of us acknowledge the way I'm curled into his side nor do we draw attention to the way his arm is casually thrown up on the sofa behind me. We could have probably spent this time talking. I could have been asking Edward important questions, like why was this hidden from me, and what this means for us.

Naturally, I know what it means to have a mate, but I don't get the feeling that Edward is going to "mate" willingly. At the very least, I need answers. But I know I won't get any answers if I don't ask the right questions, so I spend most of the time that we're on the couch just thinking. Occasionally I'll catch one of Edward's errant thoughts. Every single time he's berating himself for telling me that we're mates. It seems he never had any plans to divulge that little tid bit. We will most definitely be talking about that later.

_Wow. I sound like mom when she gets bossy with dad._

I try to shake off that feeling. It feels slimy and gross. I can only hope that Edward and I will be like Carlisle and Esme one day—but that doesn't mean I want to sound like my mom right now. I mean, she's like a hundred.

A few hours later and I've finished my book. I set it down on the table and stare at Edward who still has his nose stuck in The Very Best of Edgar Allen Poe. I turn my torso that I'm facing him fully and snicker. This catches his attention.

"What have you been doing for the last couple of hours?" I ask him curiously as he stares at me, baffled.

"Reading."

I snort and peek over at the clock. We've been on this couch with our noses in our respective books for four hours now.

"It takes you four hours to get," I peek over at his page number as he's only half way through the book, "through a hundred and thirty seven pages?"

"What? No."

Edward pulls back dismissively and sits the book on the coffee table before him. He turns himself so that he's facing me. His face is void of emotion and he says flatly "I was thinking."

"What were you thinking about?"

"I have so much to apologize for," his eyes shift downs to his lap and he shakes his head. I roll my eyes, because I'm tired of the word 'sorry'. It's honestly on my last nerve.

"You've already apologized," I state flatly. He looks like he's about to interrupt me but I shake my head and continue. "Whatever it is can wait. Please." I'm pleading with him, desperate to get him to stop. He opens his mouth once more, but I am resolved.

"In the past week I've found out that I'm not even totally human… which is super cool—but damn, not exactly an easy thing to wrap your head around. I have had multiple breakdowns thinking I'm dying… which, at this point, I still don't have the answer to!"

I'm becoming exhausted relaying all of this to him, not that he doesn't already know, "then you show up and God," I pause and change the direction of the conversation; "and now… you tell me you're my… mate." The very end of that sentence squeaks out and I blush. We haven't discussed this and I feel sort of queasy.

Edward remains stoic and motionless, almost as though he's afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing. I continue to stare him down, but in the end it's score one point for the vampire and zero for the hybrid. _Damn my human half!_ I don't know how long we've sat there for, but the sun is setting and I realize that it's likely been hours. A quick check of the clock and it has been hours. It only felt like a few minutes.

Shocking me, Edward suddenly moves for the first time in… _hours_ and he stands, sheepishly staring down at me.

"That happens, the losing track of time thing… You know, with your…"

He seems incapable of finishing the sentence, so I do it for him, "mate, Edward. The word is mate."

_ I'm going to get ready for our date._

I think to myself, my inner voice is loud and hoping he's listening. Words seem to be failing us right now, so we're going to have to rely on non-verbal communication.

**I'll be waiting.**

I hear his smooth voice in my head and I giggle as I stand and flutter across the room to the bedroom; picking up one of Alice's shopping bags on the way. I shut the door gently behind me and bust out with the running man again. I don't really understand where the day went and I don't know how to approach further conversation with Edward, but I have eternity to sort all of that out. Right now my sole focus is trying to look somewhat presentable for my date with Edward. My _first_ date with Edward. I practically swoon in remembrance of his lips on mine last night.

xxx

_So, what do I do when the most amazing person I've ever met tells me that I'm their mate? Apparently, I call them a ho bag._

_Fuck my life._

_Seriously._

_I couldn't say something… else. What about silence, huh, Bella? I couldn't just have been… silent!_

_Oh, shut up._

_You shut up._

"Bella?"

I hear Edward's voice, shaking with laughter, from the other side of the bathroom door and I flush with embarrassment. I really don't want to go out there if he's still laughing at me, so I take one last peek at myself in the mirror and smooth out the black, long sleeve dress I'm wearing. It's made of a soft cotton and falls just a few inches above my knees. Thankfully, Alice hasn't lost her damn mind and she's paired the dress with black peep toes that can barely qualify as heels. As far as dressing up goes, this isn't half bad. I check my mascara and lip gloss, the only make up I put on, despite the over-whelming choices Alice has left me with.

_Ready or not, B._

I take a few deep breaths and walk shakily to the door.

_I am so not ready for this._

**We can cancel.**

_No!_

The moment I hear Edward's offer to cancel our date, I fling the door open and scowl at him. I have been waiting years for my first date, he is not getting out of it now. I don't care if I have to make Emmett and Jasper drag him, kicking and screaming. They would do that, right? Hm. I might have to ask them—just in case.

_Nice try, pal._

"You will not hurt my feelings if you want to cancel, Isabella."

**You can handle it, Edward. If she cancels, you'll be fine.**

Edward sounds confident with his spoken words, but the one he doesn't speak aloud tell another story. Clearly, the man before me is at war with himself. I am going to have to be very careful with how I proceed.

"Is it such a bad thing if I _want_ to go on a date with you?"

His lips form a hard line and he narrows his eyes; not out of anger, but contemplation.

"Yes," he says confidently. I take this opportunity to ask him a few questions.

"Why?"

His expression remains unchanged. He looks like he's reciting text from a book he knows by heart.

"I am a vampire. There is nothing for me to offer you, Isabella. You have an entire life ahead of you. I can graduate high school with you, I can start college with you… but at some point it will become obvious that I am only seventeen. Once you've graduated college, there will be too many years between us."

"And?"

I do my best to keep my voice steady and bored, but my gut feels like it's been punched. One time, during an overzealous shopping trip, Alice accidentally elbowed me. My stomach was so bruised and purple that I missed a week of school. Dad gave me these really cool pain meds, and Emmett and I hung around the house watching 80's movies. So really, I know _all_ about being hit in the stomach.

"Please," he pleads, "be mature about this."

I fold my arms over my chest and huff.

"Edward Cullen! Some of us who look seventeen also happen to _be_ seventeen. So cut a girl some slack, would ya?"

He is speechless. I am going to note this entire event, from my birthday onward in my Freaky Facts journal. Hopefully I'll be able to remember everything by the time Mr. Caveman decides to so graciously allow me to return home. _September 14, 2009: The Edward Cullen is speechless._ Maybe Emmett will make me a shirt with that on it.

"Can we just… go… on our date, please?" I make my voice small and I wring my hands together. I stare up at him through my lashes and allow my bottom lip to poke out. I know he wants this date as much as I do—regardless of the idiocy that spews from his mouth. Edward is hopping from foot to foot. He seems to be unsure of what to do. "Nevermind," I mutter, resisting the urge to latch onto his leg and cry and beg for him to take me out. Somehow, I feel that might be humiliating.

I think Edward notices my discomfort because he steps forward and takes both of my hands in his. I can practically feel a jolt of electricity as he cradles my hands in his. His skin is so cool and smooth. My entire body relaxes and I look up to see Edward's charming smile. He looks so sad, and so serious, but so beautiful.

"You have to tell me what you're thinking," he says softly as his thumbs make small circles on my skin, and my breath catches. "I can't always hear you, and it drives me crazy." I smile slowly and I decide to give him what he wants most.

_I'm confused._

"Why are you confused?"

_You ask me out, but then you act like you don't want to take me out._

"You called me a cad, Bella," he says, a smirk in his tone.

_I thought..._

"You thought I had a relationship with Tanya?"

_No. I thought you had… relations with Tanya._

He lifts my chin so that I'm looking him in the eye. He looks disgusted, and I really want to giggle. I have always sort of thought Tanya was disgusting—despite never having met her. The only thing I've heard about her is that she's some kind of vampire whore and that Rose thinks she and Edward had an arrangement years ago.

"Why would you even think that?" I try to twist my hands out of his grasp, but it's no use. I'm hesitating and he knows it. I cast my eyes over his shoulder in an attempt to get him to politely drop the subject. "Tell me," he coos gently.

I suck in a breath and hold it for a moment before deciding that it's best just to tell him. "Rose," I begin and he abruptly pulls back and stomps toward the dresser where his cell phone has been charging. I rush after him and start flailing my hands around, begging him to stop. Being Edward, he doesn't stop. My pathetic attempts to stop him only seem to be making him more determined.

Before I can tell myself to suck it up and put on my big girl panties, I feel the tears welling in my eyes. We are never going to make it out of this hotel room. I am never going to get to go on my date with Edward. If we leave here before I get my date, I'm fairly certain that I never will. I just can't imagine "dating" Edward in Forks. It's a small town and folks there are rather tight knit and all, but damn, I just can't see that working out. I'm enough of a freak, I don't need weird rumors about dating my brother floating around.

"Really, Bella?" I look up at Edward and he's laughing. _He's fucking laughing. _ I feel my lower lip tremble in frustrating. I have about a hundred emotions flying through me right now and he's… he's…. he's being Edward, and contrary to popular belief, that's not always something I find attractive.

"Dating your brother?" he's chuckling and quickly moving toward hysterics. I am not amused. Before I can control my temper, I stomp over to him, grab his phone and throw it against the wall. He straightens up and he's no longer laughing. _Good._ I'm livid. I decide that Edward is stalling. I don't know if he really is trying to avoid taking me out on this date or if he's just an overgrown idiot. Really, at the end of the day, I just don't care what his problem is. He's taking me out and I don't give a rat's patootie whether he wants to or not. _Too damn bad, pal._ I thrust my pointer finger into his chest, surprised that I haven't broken a bone, and I begin my tirade.

"You listen to me and you listen good, buddy. You are not calling Rose and harassing her right now. You are not going to mock me, judge me, look down on me, nor are you going to treat me like I am a child. I am your mate, damn it, not your daughter!" The expression on Edward's face is priceless. I wish I could frame it. He looks… embarrassed; and really, if I had put more thought into the daughter comment, I'd be pretty embarrassed, too. "You are not going to tell me what to eat or how to act, and you most certainly are not going to ruin this night for me. This is my first date and we are going to enjoy ourselves!"

When I finish yelling, I'm shocked to find Edward being rather agreeable. He offers his arm and leads me out of the hotel room. I feel pretty smug for all of two minutes before I trip on my shoes getting out of the elevator and he has to right me. Smug moment over, I suppose. Now, in hindsight, I can't believe I yelled at him like I did. I'm not really sure he deserved to be yelled at like that, but hey, it got us on our date, and that's what really matters. _Our date._

Edward leads me into ART, the restaurant inside the hotel. The décor is very modern, not like what I'm used to at home. All beige and clean, straight lines, highlighted by purple accent lights for a splash of color; the restaurant is very well put together, but not terribly inviting. I'll take our large eat-in kitchen and dinner table back home over this sterile and impersonal space. But we're at a hotel—not back home… I sigh with the realization that Edward and I still have to talk about that… the whole going back home thing.

We're seated at a small square table in the corner of the restaurant. A purple light shines on us overhead, making Edward look even more dead and pale. I giggle at the thought. _Imagine that, Bella. The vampire looks dead!_ Edward chuckles softly and shakes his head, apparently having heard my running commentary. I look up into his eyes and we smile stupidly at one another. I guess this is how all young couples in love look.

_Woah. Love?_ I mean, dude, I know we're mated… but _love_ makes it seem so much deeper. I don't really know how to untangle the mess inside my head so I give up and just stare at him. We're interrupted by our waitress, a woman about Grandma Marie's age, who can't stop ogling Edward. _My mate, back off._ I narrow my eyes at her until she smiles sweetly at me. But I know better. Women like Edward. They want Edward, and this old bitty is no different. She's probably waiting until I go to the ladies room to steal him for herself.

"Bella, calm down," Edward says, smirking. I give Miss Daisy the stink eye as she goes to fetch my coke and Edward's water. He reaches across the table and caresses my hand, soothing my nerves somewhat. I sigh.

"You're right, Edward. I'm being silly. It would be like you dating Grandma Marie." The second the words are out of my mouth, he freezes and stares at the wall beside us. I eye his curiously for a good moment and he relaxes and turns to me once again.

"Isabella," he begins, but I hold up my hand.

"Bella," I clarify.

"I gave you the name Isabella, and I will use it if I like." My eyes go wide and I've forgotten what we had been talking about.

"What?" I try to keep my voice low, but I'm definitely shrieking, just at a very hushed volume. Edward leans in with a shy, crooked smile.

"I was the first person to hold you. You were beautiful even then. Your tiny little lungs worked just as well then as they do now." He smirks, but I'm too surprised by this influx of information to protest. "Alice was there. She tried to dress you, but I wouldn't have it. I couldn't let go of you. Imagine my fear… holding the most precious thing in this world to me, and trying to wiggle you into those little contraptions they call baby clothes. If I had left even a bruise on you I would have ended myself then there."

I'm flabbergasted by what he's told me. Edward was the first person to hold me? Really? Where was my mom and dad? Why didn't Charlie hold me first? Why did Edward name me? I am so far beyond confused, but I need to pull it together. Edward is actually sharing information, and he's so damned tight-lipped all of the time. I just have to get him to continue talking.

"Where were my mom and dad?"

"The delivery was… difficult for Renee. She was in no position to hold you. Charlie got there with Marie and once he convinced her to hand you over, he held you."

"What about everybody else? And why were you and Alice there? Where was Carlisle?" Edward seemed open enough to answering questions, so I was going full throttle for answers.

"Carlisle and the others showed up slightly after your birth. Alice played… nursemaid. Seeing the future and all, she came in quite handy when it was time to push."

"So where were you during all of this?" I had a feeling that he'd already given me the answer and I was just too slow to put it all together. I really needed him to spell it out for me.

"Isabella, I am the first person who ever held you…" I stared at him blankly, taking in his words. He didn't mean… he couldn't mean... _Oh my God, gross!_ I must look horrified because Edward is quick to soothe me. "Please, believe me... delivering anything into this world was not something I had been looking forward to. Carlisle was supposed to be there, but everyone was out hunting and they didn't make it back in time. So, between me and Alice… me being the unlucky bastard who went to medical school... it became my job to… um… you know."

I open my mouth to speak and close it a few times. Sometime after this revelation, the old bird wanders back over and takes our order. I have no idea what Edward orders for me. I'm still processing what he's told me. _He delivered me… so that means… Edward stared at Renee's cooch!_ Edward clears his throat, clearly listening in to my thoughts, which is making us both uncomfortable. I'm getting the impression that he'd rather not be reminded of it, which makes me smile. I really don't want to think about Edward's eyes on Renee like that… so I change the subject before I go yak.

"How did Renee and Charlie meet?"

"At a bookstore," Edward responds quickly, almost too quickly. I decide to inquire further. Something seems… off.

"Which bookstore?"

"Books and Baskets," he shoots out quickly. _Another quick response._ And this one doesn't make any sense. Books and Baskets is a store in Saranac Lake, New York—where we had been living before moving here to Forks. Carlisle and Esme said none of them had lived in New York since Rose's change in Rochester back in the 1930s… so what the hell? The look on Edward's face tells me he's not really sure of what he's doing, which seems so odd for a vampire. Edward looks innocent—too innocent. This is the same look Emmett gives mom after he's done something that will get him grounded. It's also the same look Alice gives me when she has plans to take me shopping, but won't outright say it. Long story short, this look is never good.

I nod, blocking him from my thoughts, and in an attempt to let him think I'm not suspicious, but he's definitely hiding something. I'm about to question him further when our elderly waitress brings our food. Okay, in all fairness, she's old… like forty or something… but she's not _that_ old. She's still way too old for Edward though. He's jailbait as far as she knows... dirty old woman!

The perverted old bag sits four plates down on the table and makes a snarky comment about wishing she could eat like we kids do. I watch her walk away and gulp with the sudden realization that one day, she might _really_ not be able to eat like I'll have to. _Blood._ Damn that's disgusting. I turn back to the table and my eyes light up with joy.

When Bitter Betty was hovering, I wasn't paying attention to what she had been carrying. On one plate is a huge cheeseburger, dripping with grease, and next to it is a pile of fries. Another plate has lasagna… covered in so much cheese, I think I'm actually drooling. The other two plates have a baked chicken breast and a salad. I smile up at Edward and grab a fry. _Oh, damn, this tastes so… fucking… delicious._ I savor each bite and then grab another. Edward is eyeing me carefully. He seems resigned to the fact that I love junk food and I'm going to pick a cheeseburger over a baked chicken breast any day. I open my mouth, full of food, in a very crude manner and begin to speak.

"Why do you want me to eat this heart smart junk any way?" Edward's expression changes from a concentrated boredom to one of delight. I think he's been waiting a while for me to ask.

"Bella, with your… particular condition… your body is very fragile. I know that sounds strange, but it's true. You are a hybrid. If you think of it like with animals and interspecies breeding... the two species' offspring typically don't come out unscathed. In some animals they'll have an extra toe or perhaps the female offspring will be barren. It is as though the two species' genetics are fighting a war with one another.

"Technically, they were never intended to have produced an heir. They lack basic genetic compatibility. As you mature, and your vampire side becomes more prominent, your human side will need to be as healthy as possible to adapt to the changes. The human body cannot handle the intense physical surges of strength that a vampire's body is built for. I just want you healthy and safe. That begins with the proper diet."

"Oh," is all I can manage to say. It seems I'm dying after all and nobody has had the balls to tell me. And even if I'm not actually dying, then I'm certainly headed for some health issues from the sound of it. Suddenly that chicken is looking better and better. Slowly, Edward pulls the cheeseburger away and he slides the chicken toward me. I have the decency to look sheepish and he has the courtesy to be a gentleman and not gloat in his victory. I should have known he was only looking out for me.

After devouring my chicken and the accompanying salad… sneaking only a few small bites of the lasagna and cheeseburger; I let out a loud and rather rude yawn. Edward smiles and pays the bill without getting the check. He assures me that he has most definitely left enough, along with a generous tip. We slip out of the restaurant and walk very slowly back up to the hotel room, hand in hand. As far as first dates go, I can't say I think this one was normal, but I wouldn't have traded my evening with Edward for anything on this planet. I have a feeling that nothing will ever be 'normal' again, and as long as Edward is holding my hand, I'm okay with that.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Have you ever gone back and read something you wrote a _really_ long time ago? I feel a mix between wanting to improve upon it (and knowing I haven't the time) and giggling over silly teenage Bella.

**Bite to Break Skin**

**Chapter Eleven**

**Bella**

I wake up to find myself securely snuggled up to a slightly warmed, marble body. I'm cautious not to move or disturb the vampire beside me. I have no doubt that it's Edward's arms that are wrapped around my midsection, and that it's his chest that my face is hiding in. I don't want him to know I'm awake. I have this feeling he'd run like hell and try to pass off our snuggle fest as something else.

_Oh, Isabella. You bumped your head and the only way I could ensure your continued good health was to hold you in your sleep. You know, so I can keep continual track of your pulse._

I want to roll my eyes at him, but then he'd know I'm awake, which would be counterproductive. I'm perfectly still and after a few moments I hear Edward chuckle. "Is that what you really think of me?" He's speaking softly with no indignation in his voice. I'm embarrassed. That's not _really_ what I think of him, but on some level, yes, I do think he'd formulate a response like that. I continue to be still and despite the fact that it's getting really boring and tiring just laying here, stiff, and waiting, I'm thinking maybe I can fake him out. You know, because I'm young and naïve like that.

Edward's hands find my sides and his fingers begin to tickle me. I try to hold it in but before long I'm in hysterics, giggling and terrified that I'm going to tinkle all over the bed, and there's zero chance of ever living that one down. When he stops I catch my breath and give him the stink eye. I'm about to whine about being tickled when I realize that I must have morning breath. I can't let Edward smell how stinky I am, though, he's a vampire, he probably already knows. I cover my mouth the best I can to avoid breathing on him.

"Morning," I say, for lack of a better greeting. As I look up into his eyes, he looks so peaceful and so relaxed and… happy. He looks just how I feel and I can't bring myself to be bitchy with him. He laughs and prys my hand away from my mouth. I try to protest but it's no use.

"Good morning, love" I nearly swoon at the term of endearment. It sound familiar but I can't quite place it. "For one, even if you cover your mouth, I can smell your breath," he smirks and pauses long enough for me to be sufficiently embarrassed. "And two, I prefer your morning breath to your toothpaste. Toothpaste is unnatural. Your morning breath is all you, lovely and unique." I blush at the compliment. And just when he's being sweet and endearing, he reverts back to being Edward. "So, you really think I sound like _that_?" he asks, a tiny pout forming on his perfect lips.

"Well…" I start stalling and his fingers find my sides again, tickling me into submission. I start laughing and squirming loudly. The other hotels guests are surely annoyed right now, but I don't really care what it sounds like we're doing in here. Suddenly, Edward freezes and before I can ask him what has him worried, I hear the sound of a door fly open.

I look behind me to the intruder to find Alice standing there, eyes slightly glazed over, and a nervous expression on her face. _What is Alice doing at the hotel?_ I survey the room before me, shocked to find that we're in my room… at home… back in Forks. I want to thank Edward in ways I'm not even sure I'm capable of, but Alice looks… worried. I look at Edward and he looks just as worried. I don't know what the heck is going on, but I'm not real keen on having to find out. I want to go back to thirty seconds ago when Edward was tickling me and I was pretending to hate him for it.

_I really need a remote to rewind time. I'll bet one exists. I mean, vampires and hybrids exist, so why not magical remotes to rewind and pause time? Dad's really old. I should ask him about it_.

I return from fantasy land to find that Edward has moved out of the bed and is now standing beside it, in a panicked state. "What's going on?" I try to avoid sounding worried. Alice looks over me to Edward and nods. I quickly turn back to Edward. He looks down at me, sighs and rushes to my glass wall and slides the door open. I rush toward him, but he jumps out, down into the forest below. I close in on the open glass door and peer down, shocked at what I find.

Carlisle is standing on the forest floor, arms crossed, glaring at Edward who is standing in the same position he no doubt landed in. _Busted._ I can't imagine _why_ we'd be in trouble for… what, snuggling? Tickling? Regardless of my opinion on the matter, Carlisle does not look pleased.

"Edward," he begins cautiously, his voice authoritative but gentle. "My study. Right now." Edward nods and heads for the nearest tree to jump back in through my glass door, but Carlisle grabs his arm and shakes his head. Defeated, Edward zooms around the side of the house and out of my eye sight. Carlisle looks up at me with his best "Father Knows Best" look. I'm in trouble. "Isabella Marie. Get ready for school and then meet me in the kitchen. We need to have a discussion."

"Yes, Sir," I say in my best innocent voice. He just shakes his head and follows the path Edward took around the house. I sigh and look at Alice who is still standing in my doorway. "Why are we in trouble anyway?" I'm looking at Alice expectantly, hoping she gives me an answer.

"Carlisle doesn't think it's appropriate for you and Edward to sleep in the same bed."

"But Edward doesn't sleep," I protest. Alice throws her hands up and backs out of the room, and shuts the door as she goes.

"Don't shoot the psychic, Bella. You're going to have to discuss this with Carlisle." Frustrated, I kick my bed and then hop around in agony.

xxx

Once I've dressed and am fully ready, I head downstairs for the dreaded _talk_ with my father. I'm half insulted that he thinks he needs to control my behavior. I mean, I'm pretty responsible for a seventeen year old woman, damn it. It's just rude. Two flights of stairs later, I'm in the kitchen and sit down to my Edward-approved breakfast. I begin eating, trying to ignore my father's penetrating stare.

"Bella, we need to talk about what I saw this morning."

I rehearsed what I would say during my shower, and I've got it down pat now. I'm going to tell him in a mature fashion that Edward is my mate and that we are not engaging in anything… _sinful_. We are responsible adults, and I would appreciate some privacy, respect, and understanding. I'm newly mated. Of course I want to sleep with my mate… even if we aren't _sleeping._

This argument sounds wonderful, and clear, and mature in my head. Unfortunately, what comes out of my mouth is another story entirely.

"Edward held me all night and we didn't do anything wrong. There is nothing to talk about."

_Okay, so, that wasn't what I had intended to say…_

"Isabella, as your father it is my duty to guide you. It is inappropriate for a young lady to spend the night in her bed with her boyfriend." I scrunch up my nose in objection and this horrid whine comes out.

"But, Dad, everyone else gets to sleep with their mate!"  
"Technically, no one else sleeps," he quips and the smile on his face is infuriating.

"You know what I mean."  
"Yes, well, everyone else is over a century, or very near to it."  
"This is agism," I whine. So far being a mature adult is not working out so well.

"It sure is, sweetheart; but I wouldn't be a very good father if I let you sleep with your boyfriend."  
"But he's my mate."  
"I'm your father."  
"Sorry, dad, mate trumps father."  
"Well, your mate is grounded."

I scream in frustration and kick the kitchen island with my ballerina flat clad foot. I try to avoid whimpering in pain, but it's no use. I let out a small whimper, hop off my barstool and hobble to the front door.

"How do you like 'dem apples?" I can hear Carlisle's twinkling laughter coming from behind me and mom is chiding him. Yeah, he's on my shit list so he's Carlisle. When he quits acting so… so… _fatherly_ I will start calling him dad again, until then, he's Carlisle.

The best thing about being a part of a vampire family is knowing you'll never have to see the ones you love die. The worst thing about it is when your vampire father grounds both you and your vampire mate. Me? I'm only seventeen. But Edward is like a hundred... he should be exempt from groundings... apparently not.

I eye the key rack and am psyched to find the key to my truck hanging on the very last hook. I grin, grabbing the key, and rushing outside to drive my baby for the first time. I've never seen her in person, but I'm already crazy about her. I run down the front steps and around to the detached garage. I'm pleased to find that everybody else has left for school and the garage door is open. I trip over God-only-knows-what but am able to right myself before falling and I stumble into the garage.

She's even more beautiful in person. Rose has painted the top of the cab a stark white, matching the trim of the tires, and the rest of the body is cherry red. I swear she's glistening. The bed is lined with a wooden fencing, typical of the style, and although I feel like I should be farming something, I think my new truck and I are a perfect match. I walk closer and find Edward inside, sitting in the passenger seat. I grin like the lovesick hybrid that I am and carefully open the driver's side door, and crawl inside.

I can feel Edward watching me. Normally I would be watching him right back. I mean, I guess I can say _normally_ even though I haven't even really known Edward a week yet. The fact that it's been a week since I thought I was on death's doorstep, and hell, I might still be; and even less than a week since "meeting" Edward really makes my head spin.

I stare at the dashboard and take in all the classic detailing. This must have taken Rosalie hours of labor and as much thought to restore. I know she's likely to hurt me if I press the issue, but I really want to thank her for my truck again, like, maybe a hundred more times. I notice the entertainment console has a compact disc player, iPod hookup and docking station, mobile phone charging and docking station, and what appears to be storage.

Edward breaks the silence with a proud smile. "Flip that door up," he says quietly, his mood evident in his voice. I glance at him quickly and turn back to the console. I fidget with the contraption momentarily, trying to figure out how to open the it before Edward reaches over and pushes a button below the handle. The door slowly lifts up and then slides into the console revealing a screen. Edward smiles and lightly touches it, bringing the screen to life. A welcome screen appears that reads "Hello, Hybrid!" I giggle and Edward quickly explains that he's going to re-program it to read my name instead. He explains that we don't need the humans asking what that is all about. I snort. Like the humans really talk to me, much less hang out with me.

It appears to be a touch screen navigator. I grin at the device. I just know I'm never going to figure out how to work it, but the fact that my classic truck has a navi is just plain cool in my opinion. MTV's "Pimp My Ride" couldn't have done a better job. Edward begins explaining to me about all it's features. I can watch movies on it and surf the net if wireless internet is available—but only if the car is in park. "This is so cool, but it's really just too much…" I trail off, not wanting to sound like I'm disappointed in my gift.

"Nonsense, Bella," Edward turns the device off by pushing the button he pushed to open to the door. The screen displays a "goodbye" message that reads "Don't even think about hugging me. - _Rose_" The door slides out of the console and covers the screen once again. Edward starts assuring me that he'll have the goodbye message changed as well, but I decline his offer. I'm starting to think Rose _wants _to be hugged after all. "Along with the navigational system, I had a GPS unit installed… I don't want to be losing track of you." I roll my eyes.

_Go ahead, Edward. I'll just take someone else's car._

Edward's eyes narrow and I realize he's heard my thoughts.

_Well, shit. I'm going to have to get better at blocking him._

"You can try to block me, Isabella, but I have had all vehicles, including the 4-wheelers, and your old bicycle fitted with GPS units."

_I am so glad I got you grounded now._

Edward smirks and looks ahead, effectively ignoring me.

xxx

I pull Starla up to Forks High School and just in time. Edward has his hands neatly folded on his lap, his jaw in clenched, and he hasn't taken his eyes off the road since I took her out of park. He is totally killing my joy. At the very least, I'm thankful that he's not clutching onto Starla.

_Poor Starla would be in shambles!_

"Starla?" Edward asks, curiosity oozing from his tone. I nod and grin.

"Her name is Starla. Now don't damage her. I want her in mint condition for when I get Fred." Edward is staring at me incredulously. I can't tell if I'm driving him crazy or if he thinks I'm crazy, but the look on his face certainly is a sight to be seen.

"Who in God's name is Fred?"

"My helicopter," I grin and find a parking space next to Emmett's Jeep. Nervousness sets in. Starla is a little wider than I thought and I worry that in all her ancient glory that she won't fit in these parking spaces designed for more compact vehicles. I put her into park and turn off the engine. Edward is still staring at me like I've lost my mind. I just smile wide and climb out, gently shutting her door. I don't want to hurt the old girl.

"Bella!" I look up toward the entrance to building H. Mike is standing there with a shy, but hopeful look on his face. The last time I was at school, Edward made sure to keep Mike at a distance. He looked so confused and defeated. It broke my little hybrid heart! I rush toward him and his smile only grows. I feel warmed by the kindess Mike has shown me. It's been years since I've had a human friend. Sometimes being a Cullen feels very isolating.

"Hey Mike!"

"Is that yours?" Mike points at Starla. Edward is leaning up against her side, looking at the ground. I know he's reading Mike's mind, but he's giving no indication that he's finding anything "repulsive" in there. Really, I'm seventeen, I wouldn't mind so terribly if a boy thinks "repulsive" things about me. I know I don't look like Rose or anything, but it's not like I'm ugly… at least I don't think I am.

Mike is giving me a strange look and I realize that I spaced out. I smile at Starla and Edward. "Yep. All mine." _They're both mine. _ Edward's head shoots up. He's smiling sadly. I wave him over. He hesitates for a moment but pushes off Starla and joins me and Mike. "Mike," I begin, meeting his eyes. He looks irritated and somewhat nervous, though, not as nervous as he did when he met Emmett. "This is Edward," I turn to Edward and smile. "Edward, this is Mike." I look back and forth between the two, praying the Mike isn't thinking anything that is going to get him killed.

Edward smirks, hearing something I'm not privy to. "It's nice to meet you, Mike." At least Edward is _trying_ to sound friendly, even if his tone is laced with malice. Mike sort of pales. I give him a gentle smile, coaxing him into responding. Edward is trying here. The last thing I need is for Mike to sink my ship. If he's rude to Edward, I have no chance of remaining friends with him. I look back at Edward to see that he's smiling, showing an awfully lot of teeth and I elbow him, effectively hurting my elbow. I try to hide the pain from both of them. "I've heard a lot about you," Edward offers. _Okay, Mike, you gotta say something here. Edward is not going to get any friendlier, and you're blowing it, dude._

Mike smiles and it doesn't reach his eyes. _This is not good._ "Really?" he says dismissively. "I've heard nothing about you." I'm getting nervous. This is starting to look like a pissing contest, and I don't really like being in the middle. I want to shout at the two of them. Mike can be my friend and Edward can be my mate and I can be a hybrid, and we can all get along… right? I sigh. Probably not. "All I know about you is that you're Bella's _brother_, right?" Mike emphasizes brother in the most curious of ways. Are we that obvious? Last time I saw him, I had no idea I was Edward's mate, so I don't know what he's picking up on, but it sort of squicks me out.

"Not really. We're both adopted. I have been in Chicago with our sister and biological grandmother for the past few years. I haven't spent much time around _Isabella_ since her adoption." Edward wraps his left arm around my waist and I'm speechless. What to do, oh, what to do… I don't want to end up on Jerry Springer, and Edward is really making this whole adopted sibling/dating thing obvious.

"Well," Mike says snottily "you two seem awfully close for adopted _siblings_ who haven't spent much time together." I gulp. This has gone from bad to worse. The next time I get a bright idea, I'm going to ignore it. Introducing these two is not going well at all. Damn testosterone. Edward pulls me into his side and kisses the top of my head. My breath catches in my throat and I think I'm actually swooning here. Taboo familial relations and small town gossip all but forgotten. I am Edward's and he is mine. I lean into him and resign to the fact that the humans are going to think this relationship is creepy; but I can't deny Edward to save my life.

"I have loved this girl it seems for my entire life." Mike's eyes go wide and he's speechless. At least one of them is. Edward, on the other hand, seems to be experiencing verbal diarrhea. "I'm just lucky we both found ourselves in need of a family. I cannot imagine my existence without this beautiful girl. She is my world." I look up at Edward with every ounce of love I can muster.

I love him when he's aggravating. I love him when he's cold. I love him when he's absent, and I loved him before I even knew it. I have always been his, and he has always been mine. Edward is staring down at me intensely, and I think I'm melting into him. The entirety of my being is wrapped up in and around him. The more time we spend together, the less I can identify myself as an individual. Once I'm speaking to Carlisle again, I'm going to ask him how unhealthy this is. Maybe I need an infatuation support group. Maybe Edward and I can get a group discount?

I lean up against Edward on my tip toes and he bends down, placing a gentle kiss on my lips. My entire body is alight with need and I can feel my heart beating in places I never imagined possible. Mike clears his throat and we pull apart. "Um, yeah," he says uncomfortably. "That's cool, dude." Edward is smiling devilishly. He's sporting a look of smug satisfaction and I want to smack him. I played right into it. He was marking his territory. If this was a pissing contest, I'm the tree he just marked.

I feel Edward pull away and look at him for an explanation. "Alice needs me," he whispers. I nod and he walks off.

"That was…" Mike trails off, bright red in his face, and scratching his head "odd." I sigh, reminding myself that this is going to happen.

"He can be a little intense, but he's a great guy," I defend. Mike turns towards our lockers and I follow him. There are four lockers separating mine from Mike's. I realize that I didn't bring my book bag with me this morning. I have no idea if I'm the least bit prepared for the day. Surely Alice or Edward thought to bring it. I look up and down the hallway, searching for one of my siblings. With how bad they all stick out, they shouldn't be hard to find. Mike is opening his locker and saying… something. I look around and past him and find Edward and Alice near the office. I sincerely hope that Edward wasn't giving Mrs. Cope trouble over his schedule again.

Alice spots me and she looks panicked. I realize that Edward and Alice are not alone. Lauren Mallory is talking to Edward. He nods his head in acknowledgment but doesn't appear to be saying anything. I watch for a good minute before I see her reach out and touch his arm. She bats her fucking eye lashes and leans in. What the fuck does she think she's doing? My chest constricts at the sight and I feel an intense, painful, heat spreading from my chest through my arms and legs. It feels like my insides are burning and I gasp for air. Mike looks at me, worried. I try to tell him that I'm alright, though, I'm not sure that I am, but no words come out.

_Oh, God. Not again._

Lauren gives Edward's arm a squeeze and she gets all silly looking. She's putting on a show for him, trying to show him how impressed she is. Everything around me goes dead silent and her voice is the only thing I can hear. "You must work out, _Edward_," she purrs. She sounds like a fucking cat and she's _still_ touching him.

Edward is backed up against the lockers and he looks like he wants to flee. My anger flares and the burning spreads to the rest of my body. I'm immobilized with pain and fear. My combination lock crumbles in my right hand. I move to look and the scorching pain in my neck is too much. My head lolls to the right side and I try in vain to keep myself upright. I open my right hand, dropping flecks of dust to the floor. I gasp again, but no air makes it to my lungs.

"Bella!" Mike reaches out at an inhuman speed and grabs a hold of me just as my knees buckle underneath me. I lean against him. My body makes a clanking sound against his. My entire body has gone stiff and the burning is being replaced by an eerie icy feeling. I can't so much as imagine what is happening. Am I turning? _Oh, God. I'm turning!_ _ Not in the halls of the high school! I'm never going to fit in now!_ I feel the urge to cry, but no tears are falling. My eyes aren't even wet.

I crane my head up to look at Mike, my neck making a cracking sound in the process. I feel like I'm made of marble. Where is Edward? Why isn't he here? Panic sets in and I look Mike in the eyes. He looks deathly pale and his normally baby blue eyes are darkening. I focus intently on them. _What the fuck is going on here?!_ The light in Mike's eyes fades slowly and is replaced with blackness.

"Bella," Mike gasps, "your eyes are pitch black." I try to process his words, but the pain comes back. A sharp jolt in my heart brings the burning back.

_Edward._

Everything blurs before me. I blink, trying to keep my heavy eyelids open. My body goes limp again, and the last thing I see is Mike's eyes. In a flash they turn from pitch black to baby blue and the color returns to his face. My vision is gone, but I can hear and smell everything around me. Edward approaches and takes me in his arms. I hear Alice and all of my other siblings in the background. Emmett is panicked and even Rosalie sounds worried. I knew she liked me. Jasper is trying to calm everyone down to no avail.

"Bella… talk to me, love!" I hear Edward's pleading cries and I try to open my mouth to respond, but it won't open. I try a non-verbal cue instead. I have to let him know I'm okay. _You're not okay, Bella!_ I at least need to let him know I'm alive… for now. My arms won't move, much less my hands.

_Edward!_

**Bella! Tell me you're okay. Please, tell me you're okay.**

Even Edward's inner voice sounds strangled and desperate. I feel the wind on my face and can smell the rich scent of the pine trees as we fly through the woods. Edward is holding me so tight, he might be bruising me, but I have no way to tell him this. Not that it matters. I'll likely be dead soon, anyway.

_I think I'm dying._

Edward's inner voice is incoherent and he sounds like he's crying. I feel drops of venom hit my face. _He is crying_. The venom sizzles and seeps into my pores. I can feel where the venom has fallen—my face stiffens and cools. If I die now, my only regret will be that the last person I saw was Mike, and not my Edward. In this moment I realize that Edward told me he loved me for the first time today. Even if it was as a means to mark his territory—he meant it. If these are my finals moments on this earth, there is one last thing I have to do.

_I love you. With everything that I am, I love you._

_A/N: I know. I know. I'm sorry! All I can say is, I'm all about a HEA. This is not the end for these two—if it were, there would be no more story, and what a crappy story it would be._


	12. Chapter 12

**Bite to Break Skin**

**Chapter Twelve**

**Edward**

** I love you. With everything that I am, I love you.**

_Don't leave me, love. You can't leave me. I love you. I love you…. I love you._

My marble arms feel weak and I can tell that I'm losing speed. I choke back a sob and force myself to speed up. Zooming through the forest that surrounds Forks, with my siblings trailing behind me, I fear that Bella will be gone before we make it back to the house.

"**Carlisle!**" I'm shocked from my thoughts to hear Rosalie's strangled cry coming from behind me. She sounds almost as panicked as I do. Her voice is loud, unapologetic and laced with fear. I've been blocking out everyone's thoughts in an effort to focus on Bella. Should she regain consciousness, I want to know of it immediately. Her body is growing colder and heavier, more like stone, with every passing mile. Her heart beat is growing faint and I can hear tiny cracks in her chest. I locate the cracking sound and I'm terrified to find that it's her organs. Her organs are hardening. She's changing.

"We don't have much time!" I scream in a voice that is two octaves higher than normal. I hear Alice sob a split second before her tiny body whizzes past me. I have never seen Alice move so fast before. I worry that I'm moving too slowly and perhaps I should pass Bella off to someone else—I can't be the reason that her life ends here. I quickly look behind me and see the others quickly gaining on me. Rosalie's face is filled with determination and heartbreak and… love. I'm always so focused on what Bella means to me that I often forget what she means to the others. She is Rosalie's sister. Bella belongs to each of us in a way, just as we belong to her.

I have never seen Emmett look so serious, or sad. I see the venom tears streaming down his face. He's crying, and is making no attempt to hide it. Between the two, Rose is the strong one. She is, perhaps, the strongest of all of us. She doesn't give up or back down.

I peek at Jasper. I can tell he's mapping out our options. Jasper is always the last to accept defeat. He will not show his fear and heartbreak until Bella has met her fate, and even then, not for some time. When it finally hits him, he will be inconsolable for years. Not even Alice will be able to ease the pain. I turn my attention back to the direction I'm running. I see the house in the distance. Carlisle and Esme are standing outside, debating whether or not it would be counterproductive to run to us. There is nothing we could do in the middle of the woods anyhow. Alice reaches Esme and calms her down some. Esme is a nervous, bawling, and in full panic mode. Esme lost one child as a human; I don't know if she could survive losing another.

I make it to the house and in a blur and rush Bella to Carlisle's office. He already has his equipment set up for the transfusion. I gently place Bella's stone body on the hospital bed and reluctantly move out of the way. I need to allow Carlisle to do what he's been preparing for—fifty one years and three generations he has practiced and feared this.

I watch intently as he preps Bella's arm for the blood transfusion. He takes a deep breath, steadying himself, and un-cap the needle. I watch, nervously, as he brings the needle to Bella's arm and tries to puncture her skin. "Edward," Carlisle's voice is trembling "her skin won't puncture. Bring me the low alloy needle." I turn around and quickly unwrap one of the specially-crafted low alloy needles and hand it to Carlisle. He disinfects it, and attempts to puncture Bella's skin once more. The tip shatters into millions of tiny pieces.

"Carlisle…. Do we have anything else?" My tone is accusatory and harsh. I already know we don't have anything stronger. Bella's body has hardened to the point that even the strongest material will not be able to puncture it. It won't be long now before her transformation is complete.

"Edward, we have to prepare the fire, son." Carlisle's voice is low and trembling. I look at the man I have seen as my mentor, my father, my savior since my human life ended and my existence began with disgust and panic. When Bella's transformation is complete, we will have no choice. But I will not be here to witness it. If Bella must be destroyed, then I insist on going before her. I will not have the last thing I see be her ripped apart and burning body.

I back against the wall farthest from Carlisle and feel my dead body shattering under the weight of his words. Carlisle is doing the responsible thing—preparing for the inevitable. He is doing what any man, were Bella not his mate, would do. I feel the agony and fear engulf me. My stone legs fail me for the first time in nearly a century, and I fall to the floor, cracking the plaster of the wall behind me. I cannot even begin to describe the pain I'm feeling. My hardened body feels stretched tight and broken in a thousand places. My organs have been long since dead, but they feel contorted and aching. A sickness overcomes me and I lurch forward, mouth hanging open and venom dripping on the stone floor. My body is trying to purge something, anything… I've seen humans make themselves physically, violently, sick with grief, but I did not know it could happen with vampires.

My entire body shakes and a strangled sob escapes. I have venom dripping from my mouth and nose and venom tears spilling from my eyes. Alice approaches and places her hand on my back in a comforting gesture. I shove her off of me, sending her hitting the wall behind her. "Don't touch me." I'm shouting at no one in particular. I cannot stand to be touched right now. The last person I touched was Bella. I want it to remain that way.

When I finally stop myself from dry heaving, I stand shakily and leave the room without so much as looking at Bella's body. Soon all that will be left will be a stone corpse, and then a monster. I shudder at the thought and go to find the only person who can help me now. _Rosalie._

I leave the house and find my sister hunched over, crying, on the back deck. "Rose," I mutter quietly, not trying to embarrass her. She has never been good with showing emotions. Instantly, she stands, wipes her eyes and turns to face me. Her bottom lip quivers but she straightens up and clears her throat. I slowly approach her, seeing my appearance in her thoughts, my feet falter and I stop. I look ghastly, like a man with nothing left to live for. My appearance is a perfect reflection for how I feel. Dead. Alone. Monsterly. I have nothing left to live for, and this is why I've come to talk to Rose. "Carlisle wants to…" I trail off, unable to say it aloud. She just holds her right hand up and nods, unwilling to allow me to continue.

"I heard," she whispers and wipes the last of a few stray tears. I take a deep breath before I ask my sister for the ultimate favor.

"I need you to do something for me," my voice shakes with the weight of what I'm asking. "I need you to destroy me." Rose gasps and her anger flares. She shakes her head defiantly.

"I won't do that, Edward. I can't." Her eyes are pleading and she's silently begging me to reconsider, but I will not waver on this.

"God forbid Emmett was to ever lose you. I would destroy him were he to ask that of me. It would pain me greatly, and I would have to carry the weight of his death on my shoulders for the rest of my existence, but should he ever have to ask—I would not force him to live a single solitary moment without you." My eyes quickly fill with venom tears and they begin to fall slowly down my cheeks. Rose holds back a sob and looks away, focusing intently on the trees that surround the house.

"I can't," her voice is smaller than I have ever heard it. "You're my brother, I can't hurt you."

**I love you, Edward.**

"I love you, too, Rose." I have always known that Rosalie loved me, but not until this moment had she ever told me, nor do I think I had told her. "If you love me, Rose, you'll grant me this one wish." I know I'm asking more of her than I have any right to. I could find another way, but Bella will be gone by then. I don't have the time.

"I can't do it alone," she concedes. I smile sadly and nod. She walks off, her thoughts telling me she is in search of Emmett and Jasper. We don't have long. I know I'm asking to be destroyed and leaving them to destroy Bella, and for this gift I will always be grateful. I walk back into the house to say goodbye to my love.

In her hospital bed, she lays there, perfectly still and growing more pale with each passing moment. I cross the room and place my left hand above her breasts, on the exposed marble skin above her heart. I can barely make out a heartbeat; it is so faint a human would have already declared her dead. Venom tears fall from my eyes and land on her stone skin and just pool there. Another reminder of how far gone she is. I wonder, when they destroy her, will there be enough of Bella left for her to feel fear—knowing what is happening to her. I continue to cry knowing that I could have prevented this had I just changed her… I could have done it this morning, or the day before. I could have stayed on that yacht and convinced her to let me change her then… I could have done a million things differently. Her fate was in my hands. I destroyed her.

I grab the chair beside me with my right hand and slide into it, my left hand is still on her chest. I clear my throat and try to remain calm. I owe Bella a proper goodbye.

"By the time you were born, I had been walking this earth for just over ninety two years, some seventy four of that as the monster I am now. I can remember everything from the moment I awoke undead to the moment I first held you, but these last seventeen years have eclipsed that. I have memories where I know you had not yet been born—but you're there nonetheless. That's how I know that my existence means nothing without you. I was waiting for you and I didn't even know it. Once you were born, it took me nearly a month to come to my senses, to realize that I couldn't give you the life you deserved."

I laugh humorously and allow myself to slip into my memories.

"That was when I gave you to Marie. I regret that now. Had I known how short your life would be, I never would have held onto the silly notion of what I thought you needed, what I had been convinced you would want. I would have been more selfish, and would have never let you out of my sight. I know better now, but it's too late for us, sweetheart.

"I won't make excuses for the mistakes I made. I would not insult you like that. I just want you to know that you have been loved. From the very first moment of your life, you have been loved by a great many people. Marie thought I was crazy when I asked her to raise you. Charlie even _asked_ me if I was crazy. I had no defense. I was asking two humans to raise you—a hybrid.

"But the moment Charlie took you into his arms, I knew the answer. I had never and have not since been witness to a man falling in love instantly or so deeply. Charlie may not have been your birth father, but he was your father in all the ways that matter. I am, at the very least, grateful that you never had to find out your true heritage. You're much too good, much too perfect to ever be _his_. I couldn't break you like that, so please, _please love_, forgive me keeping so much from you. So many of the lies I have told have been in an effort to protect you."

I reach over and clutch her hand in mind, pausing before I continue. I take notice of Alice and Esme in the doorway. I just stare at them and turn back to Bella. They're both crying and I can't bring myself to ask them to leave. For what my family is about to do, I have no right to ask anything more of them.

"Sorry means nothing now. I know that. But I have nothing left to offer. I owe it to you to tell you what the future holds for me. My time on this earth is limited. I will not walk without you beside me any longer. Now that I have known what it's like to love and not just think of love, but to love and be loved in return—I cannot bear to go on without you. I won't even try it. Please do not worry about how my decision is going to affect everyone else. I assure you, they do not approve."

I chuckle softly, the venom tears streaming down my face, and collecting on my chin. I lean in and nuzzle Bella's ear, kissing her lobe softly. I can hear the shallow sounds of her breathing, and her barely audible heartbeat; and I lose my composure. I become a slobbering, crying, hyperventilating mess. I'm having trouble breathing. My chest is constricting in agony. It doesn't matter that I don't need to breathe in this moment. My body doesn't know the difference. I hear Esme and Alice's footsteps slowly fade into the background as they give me some privacy. I don't stop to think how pathetic I look, curled into Bella's side and sobbing. Nobody here is going to judge me.

Eventually the sun begins to move and I know I'm only delaying the inevitable. The day is continuing on and quickly turning into evening. I have lost all track of time, but I don't dare take my eyes off of Bella. I only have so much longer before Carlisle insists we begin. Alice has assured us that it will storm tonight, making a fire impossible. _We only have so much time, love._

I hear a car nearing the house, the sound of the engine tells me it's Carlisle's Mercedes. I didn't know he left. His mind is slow moving, in mourning, and worried about his passenger,_ Marie._

"Where is she, Carlisle?" I hear Marie ask as they pull up to the front door and Carlisle puts the automobile in park. They are silent for a moment and I can see in Marie's mind that she is questioning her role in the choices made which have brought us to this point. She is silently trying to assure herself that she did what she had thought to be best at the time. I snort in Bella's ear, quite rudely. Marie made choices she was not qualified to make, she asked things of me I am embarrassed to have given; and while, yes, she did as she thought best—I idly wonder… best for whom?

I mated with Bella the moment of her birth. It was involuntary, but the disgusted look on Marie's face told of a lifetime of unfulfilled dreams and heartbreak. I could not give her what she wanted. I left her to pursue a _normal, human life_, and I was right to think that she would regret being turned. Marie went on to marry Charles Swan and give birth to Charlie only a few years later. She hadn't known it at the time, but I saw her wedding day, I saw her at the hospital when she delivered her son. I saw her grieve her husband when he died all too suddenly, all too soon, in an accident at the plant he had been working at for nearly twenty years. Moments later, I hear Marie ascending the stairs. I lean in and give Bella's hand a gentle squeeze. I only have one thing left to say to her.

"My darling child, where did you come from?" I whisper, pausing unintentionally waiting for Bella to recite her line. My dead heart breaks with the silence. I close my eyes and the tears escape them and allow myself to drift back to a very different scene.

_Bella is just barely five and Charlie has been dead for only a few months, and I've only just moved Marie and Bella into the Masen home in Chicago. I have taken to visiting her late at night. Since Charlie's death, Marie has asked that I stay away, but it is a request I cannot honor._

_ I am sitting in her rocking chair in the corner of her bedroom—the same bedroom that used to be mine when I was human. Bella has just awoken. I know I should feel guilty for waking her up, but the selfish bastard in me doesn't seem to care. She is precious and perfect all sleepy-eyed and yawning. Her big brown eyes focus in on me and she smiles brightly._

_ "Edward!" I have to shush her. Waking up her grandmother would be disasterous. Bella rushes toward me and jumps into my lap. I laugh at her enthusiasm and hold her closely._

_ "Hello, love," I murmur softly. I cannot imagine loving this child more. At one time I wanted to have children of my own. I know now that I would have known no greater delight. And though Bella will grow into a beautiful woman one day, a woman I have only seen in Alice's visions, I cannot connect the two. The child in my arms is so innocent and young. I have no idea how I will navigate the transition. Even thinking about it makes me feel awkward._

_ Bella is bouncing with energy on my lap and I know what she's waiting for. "Would you like a story, love?" She nods enthusiastically and hops off my lap. She runs across the room without making a sound. I wonder how long it will be before she realizes what separates her from the humans around her._

_Predictably, she returns with the first edition copy of "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" that my mother read to me when I was a small child. I pull Bella into my lap and begin to read the story to her. Elizabeth used to tell me that this book was the first thing she bought when she discovered she was with child. She heard of the story and wanted her child to know he or she could always return home no matter where their life may take them. As I sit in my old bedroom, reading a book my mother read to me, holding the most precious gift I could receive, I almost bark out a laugh. I suppose, in my own way, I have returned home._

_As we finish the story, Bella is beginning to doze, but she doesn't miss a beat. I read Auntie Em's line "My darling child, where did you come from?" and I kiss her atop her head._

_She turns away from the book and looks up at me in amazement as she shouts "from the land of Oz!"_

I smile sadly in remembrance. Marie glides into the room and I hear her gasp. I turn around slowly and take a good look at her. She looks worn out and her face is wrinkled with age and worry. Her look is pleading and for a moment my anger dissipates. "Hello, Edward," Marie whispers nervously.

"Marie," I nod at her and turn back to Bella, effectively ignoring her.

"Edward, please…" What little self control I had wanes and I release Bella's hand and stand to face Marie.

"Do you see what I see, Marie? Do you?" I stalk toward her, angry enough to take her life in this very room. "I see Bella… dying. I see a girl losing her life." My voice raises and I'm shouting. Marie steps back out of both fear and the sheer volume of my words. She should fear me. I am vibrating with anger and dangerously close to draining her body. "Is this what you wanted?! My mate **dead**? Are you really that angry with me, _still_, after all these years!"

My entire family appears in the doorway, nervously looking on. Fantastic, a fucking audience. Marie steels herself and I hear her reciting her response in her head. She takes a brave step forward and begins unleashing all of her fear and anger on me. "Don't you dare blame me for this, Edward! You are just as culpable!" She shoves her right pointer finger at my chest and withholds a grimace. She hurt herself. I smirk but she continues to jab at me. Marie always was brave, never fearing me like she should have; like she should be now. I am dangerously close to losing control. I take a step forward and growl at her, effectively stopping her tirade. I haven't heard a word she said since she began poking me.

I make my way past my family, nodding at Jasper. He sighs, knowing that it's time. I hear him and Emmett and Rose trailing behind me as I walk out into the woods. Marie is still upstairs with Carlisle, Esme, and Alice. I hear her asking where I've gone to. Alice chokes back a sob and quietly tells her that I'm having myself destroyed.

xxx

I stand in the woods facing my family and Marie as each one takes a moment to tell me what I mean to them and how sorry they are that it has come to this. Most of them tell me they understand my decision and that they respect it. Rose tells me I'm an asshole and that she never could have gotten through those first two years in this new life without me. I know what that means. She means that my presence was an effective distraction. We fought so much those first few years, she had little time to be upset about anything else.

Esme is angry with me, but she's mostly just sad. I almost reconsider my decision until Carlisle tells me that he has made the others promise to do the same for him should he ever lose Esme. This revelation does nothing to console anyone—least of all Esme. She cries harder but quickly pulls herself together. The last goodbye is the hardest. I look at my tiny sister and I start crying again.

"Do you have to do this, Edward?" I nod and hug her tightly, looking over her head. I tell Jasper to take care of her. He promises. I look at Emmett and nod my head toward Rose. Emmett nods back in a silent promise. If I ask him to take care of Rose, she will likely refuse to go through with this—anything to spite me.

"I told you I couldn't do this again, Edward. You promised me." Alice is hysterical in my arms. I hold her tight and demand that she look up at me.

"You never have to," I state with a firmness in my voice I didn't know I was capable of right now. "We ended it, Alice. Perhaps not as either of us wished, but you will never have to see another of your family die after this day. It ends here." I take a deep breath. It is ridiculous that after all this time my body refuses to give up its human mannerisms.

"Now, do something for me, please. I would like our ashes scattered in the meadow. I wanted to take Bella there, but I ran out of time. It seems this is the only for me to do so now." Alice cries into my chest, nodding. I don't have to tell her which meadow. She already knows. It's the same meadow I spent hours in the last time we lived here in Forks, some seventy years ago. Esme will tell her about the meadow. It has always been my place. I had hoped to make it _our_ place.

Alice composes herself and she takes a step back and goes to stand beside Marie. The two women, the human and the vampire, hold one another tightly. Jasper and Emmett and Rose approach and silently take their places. Jasper holds my right arm and Emmett my left. Rose stands before me and asks me again if I'm sure. I nod and close my eyes, picturing my sweet girl sitting in my lap, as a young and exuberant thing, and shouting "_from the land of Oz!"_ I smile at the memory. Fate may have taken her from me, but nothing and nobody can stop me from drowning myself in memories in this moment.

Rose places her hands on the sides of my face and she braces herself for what she is about to do. A sense of calm spreads through my body, fully accepting that this is the end.

**Edward.**

I hear Bella's voice, but I can't be sure that it's not just my mind stalling. Rose tightens her grip on my face and she turns my head in an effort to snap my neck and remove it from my body. Gasping sounds fill my ears. I hone in on the source. They're coming from Carlisle's office.

**Edward!**

It is Bella. Bella's voice. Bella's breath. I hear the erratic beating of a human heart. Bella's heart. I push the three of them off me and rush toward the house, in a hopeful panic. Bella's heart. I hear the others behind me as I run into Carlisle's office. A panicked Bella is lying on the hospital bed, her deep brown eyes staring up at me. She looks terrified and relieved. In an instant I'm at her side and I hold her tightly. Her skin is warm and flushed. Looking into her eyes, I weep unabashedly and kiss her with such force I fear that I'll hurt her.


	13. Chapter 13

**Bite to Break Skin**

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Bella**

Something feels wrong. Aside from the stiffness that has overtaken my body, making it impossible to move; I have a feeling that something is wrong with Edward. I can't exactly explain _why_ I'm worried about Edward, but I am. I try to open my eyes and look for him, but they won't open. I struggle against my body, but it will not acquiesce.

_Something is terribly wrong_, but not with me, something is wrong with Edward. I can hear his voice in the distance. He sounds broken and resigned. "Now, do something for me, please. I would like our ashes scattered in the meadow. I wanted to take Bella there, but I ran out of time. It seems this is the only way for me to do so now." _**What?!**_ Whose ashes? I pause for a moment and think about his words. The only way he can take me to his meadow is with our ashes? Holy fucking shit… what is going on?!

I begin to panic. I knew I was dying! He must have known I was dying! I'm dead. I'm fucking dead. I have died a virgin! I realize how ridiculous my concerns are in this moment. My concern should be for how Edward is holding up… and Esme! Oh, Carlisle will be wandering around trying to comfort everyone. Emmett and Jasper will mourn me in silence, and Rose… Oh, Rose will probably be ticked she spent so long restoring Starla for me, and I only got to take her for a spin once. Considering my current state of—limbo? I don't even know what to call this. I really should be worried about how Edward is taking my death, but I can't help it; I'm really fucking bummed about never getting to experience being Edward's mate in _that_ way.

And to hell with appropriate language. I don't think dad can ground me now, so fuck it. _Dad!_ _Charlie!_ Will I get to see Charlie now? What about Renee? And Grandpa Swan. I never got to meet Grandpa Swan, he died years before I was born, but Charlie always told me that Pop would have been thrilled to become a grandfather.

My heart hangs heavy with the thought of all the ones who have passed—and now I am on that list. _Oh, Edward!_ I hear Alice's cries. It sounds like Edward is holding her, consoling her. She agrees to spread our ashes in his meadow. _**Our ashes?**_ I mentally break down. What's happened to Edward? Why are _his_ ashes being spread? I don't understand. He's all vampy. He can't be sick, or hurt, or dying. He can't be like me in this regard, so _why_ are his ashes being spread?

I try to pull myself together. I am convinced that if I just focus enough I'll be able to come back from the dead. I mean, if vampires and hybrids exist—and I'm still betting on magic remotes, then surely returning from the dead is not so unheard of?

I focus in on Edward's thoughts and I'm treated to a visual of the memory. We're in the house in Chicago and he's reading "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" to me. I've had dreams about this. I knew it, I just knew it. _This was real._

**As we finish the story, Bella is beginning to doze, but she doesn't miss a beat. I read Auntie Em's line "My darling child, where did you come from?" and I kiss her atop her head.**

Edward is actually narrating the memory as if he was reading from the page of a book. Though his voice sounds cracked and broken, I can hear the smile break out. Seeing this event through his eyes is all the confirmation I need that he loves me, he has always loved me, and will do so for all of eternity.

**She turns away from the book and looks up at me in amazement as she shouts "from the land of Oz!" She is beautiful and perfect, and this is how I always want to remember her.** **Fate may have taken her from me, but nothing and nobody can stop me from drowning myself in memories in this moment.**

Suddenly, I understand what's going on. Edward is having himself destroyed. _No!_ I can't let him do this. Esme will not get over his death. Carlisle will carry this around with him, and Alice, poor Alice—she and Edward have always had a connection of sorts. No, I can't let him do this! I shout at him from the hallows on my mind.

_Edward!_

_Edward!_

I am motivated, compelled, whatever you want to call it—I am determined, and somehow, I achieve the impossible. I feel a tingling begin in my chest and spread through my torso, down my arms and then my legs. My body feels as th0ugh it is coming back to life. I still have the feeling that something is terribly wrong—and until I can communicate with Edward; until I can let him know that I'm alright, his life is in jeopardy. Edward has saved my life more times than I can count; it's my turn to save his.

_**Edward!**_

The tingling shoots through me like a jolt of electricity and with a jump, I feel my heart beating. It is only now that I know for sure it was not beating a moment ago. This is a terrifying experience, but as long as my body is coming back to life, I'm going to go with it. I suck in a deep breath and my lungs fill with air—followed by a strained coughing. My entire body hurts in a way I can't explain. I feel like I haven't used this body in years. Sadly, it could have been years since I took a breath and my heart beat—and I wouldn't know the difference. I mean—vampires, hybrids, magic remotes, returning from the dead, and… what? Chyrogenic freezing?

_This is why I'm no good with science._

My eyes shoot open and peer around the room. Everything in Carlisle's office looks exactly the same. I hear footsteps and see Edward in the doorway.

_Edward!_

He rushes toward me and brings me into his arms with an urgency I've not known before. I sink against him, his cold, marble skin feeling cool against my hot, flushed body. I look up into his eyes to see that he's crying. Edward is sobbing and he's silently chanting his relief. It appears I had a close call. I am frozen in place until he presses his lips to mine. Every bit of fear and sorrow I experienced while trapped inside of my own corpse comes pouring out, and I claim his mouth with mine. Our lips move against one another's as we try to heal our wounded hearts.

I want to crawl inside of him and never leave. He can carry me around in his pocket so long as I never have to go another moment without him. I don't know what happened, but that is of no consequence right now. All that matters is that I'm here and Edward is here and he's kissing me. Edward is fucking kissing me like our lives depend on it, and in this moment, they just might.

I hear Carlisle clear his throat as he slowly approaches. Edward and I pull away reluctantly. Edward's eyes have dried up and his smile is breathtaking. "Hello, pretty girl." I can't help myself, and I throw myself at him, attacking his lips again. I hear Carlisle clear his throat once more. This must be important and I know that ignoring him could be costly. We pull away and I turn my attention to Carlisle. I expect to see Dr. Cullen surveying his patient, but despite the white coat and stethoscope around his neck, all I see is my father. He looks both terrified and relieved. I cast my eyes behind him to see my entire family, including Grandma Marie—they all look terrified and relieved. _When did Grandma Marie get here?_

"Bella," Carlisle begins, almost nervously, "I need to take your vitals." Edward moves to the end of the hospital bed and watches closely. I smile at my father and he begins to check my lungs and heartbeat and I think he's checking my skin. I don't get it, but then I don't know what happened to me, so—I'm not going to ask too many questions.

I look around the room, taking it all in. Emmett is vibrating with joy and I smile at him. Before I can ask the question that is hanging on the tip of my tongue, he is at my side, and hugging me tightly. "Be careful, Emmett. It looks like you're squeezing her awfully tight," Esme warns from somewhere behind my big lug of a brother.

"Shit!," Emmett yells, fear oozing from his voice as he pulls back. I laugh it off and just look at him.

"You're not hurting me, Emmy." He looks at me like I'm crazy and I don't understand what the hell is going on. Emmett and Carlisle and Edward all exchange nervous glances. I just sit and watch, confused.

"Hug her again, Emmet, this time with more force" Carlisle says quietly. Edward's eyes are boring a hole through Emmett's head and I fear for his safety. Emmett looks scared as he wraps his large arms around me and holds me gently. "Tighter," Carlisle instructs. I feel Emmett's arms tighten around me. His hold is cool, but comforting, and as always, so very strong. I smile at my father but he grimaces and Edward looks panicked. "Tighter," Carlisle instructs again.

"I can't," Emmett mumbles. I'm looking around the room, trying to decipher what's going on. I feel Emmett hug my tightly. I wrap my arms around him and give him my best squeeze. I am so happy to have my brother here right now. "Ow!" Emmett starts yelling as he squirms in my arms. I release him and scowl. I am not in the mood to be mocked. He jumps off the table and moves to Rosalie's side.

"Lift up your shirt." Emmett lifts up his shirt at Carlisle's request as everybody in the room becomes perfectly still at the sight. Where my arms were wrapped around Emmett's torso there are now cracks in his skin, and purple bruising. My eyes are wide and I'm horrified.

"Did I do that?" I manage to squeak out, my right pointer finger trembling with fear.

Edward cozies up beside me "yes, love" he whispers in my ear, kissing my lobe. I feel the tears threatening to escape my eyes. What am I, some kind of monster? How could I have done that to Emmett?

"Bella," Carlisle steps forward, looking very much the doctor right now "we need to do the transfusion now." I let that sink in. I always knew I might need a blood transfusion one day, but I feel like before I let them do anything, I need to know _why._

"What's happening to me?" I turn towards Edward. It seems that he's been the brains behind this operation. I think it's only fair he be the one to explain it. I watch as Edward's face wavers between sorrow and anger.

"Your body can't handle the influx of physical and psychic strength, love. We are going to give you a blood transfusion and a bone marrow transplant. We need to pull back your strength, so to speak."

"What does that mean?" My voice is barely audible and I'm a bundle of nerves.

"It means," Edward pauses "being a hybrid will eventually kill you. But we won't let that happen." I nod and mouth the word 'oh' as the tears stream down my cheeks. First I was human, then a human living with vampires, then I was dying, then a hybrid, then I was a dying hybrid, then I was mated, then a mated, dying hybrid… Then, I think I actually died—though I really have no clue. Okay, so I get Edward and that's super cool—but holy fuck, I _really_ can't take anymore.

I take a few deep breaths and I'm assaulted by the most delicious scent. It is not quite salty. It smells more like… _blood._ I sniff the air and focus my attention on its source. I instinctively lick my lips and stand. From where I am, I can see Grandma Marie's veins through her thinned and aging skin on her neck. Her veins look healthy and strong. My stomach growls in hunger and I can feel myself purring in anticipation. Her blood is calling to me. I can hear the murmuring around me, but I ignore it and move closer to my prey.

I see Jasper eyeing me from behind the human. I can tell that he knows what I'm up to. Well, it's too bad for him, because I'm not sharing. This human is mine. I move quickly to mark my territory, stake my claim... From behind me, Edward throws his arms around my torso and tackles me to the ground. Our bodies make a cracking sound as we hit the floor. I manage to push him off and send him flying out of the window behind me.

Looking behind me, the glass is shattered and strewn about. I hiss at the mess and turn back to my snack. _I'm starving._ I lunge for Marie but I'm met with Emmett's marble form. I bounce backwards and snake around him where Rose is trying to keep me from my food. I hiss at her and she shoves my backwards forcefully. I continue to fight my way through, as each vampire tries to take my lunch from me. I stare into the eyes of my prey, and the last thing I hear is Alice yelling at Edward "bite her!" No sooner than the order is given, do I feel his mouth on my neck and a searing pain. I look down and see my own blood spilling from my body and down to the floor. I should be terrified, but all I can think is, _I wonder how it tastes._

I lift my right hand to my chest where my blood is pouring down. I am completely taken with the deep red substance. I run my right pointer finger through the dripping mess and bring it to my mouth. I close my lips around my finger and enthusiastically suck my finger dry. All rust, and salt with a lingering sweetness. _ .more._ I have never tasted anything so glorious or perfect—and never in my life have I felt so full and sated—and strong. A surge of energy zips through my veins and now I am resolved—nothing is going to stop me from my dinner.

Edward's mouth is still on my neck. I can feel the front of his body pressed against my back. His hardened frame tells me that tasting my blood excites him in more ways than one. The idea of pure, gentlemanly Edward being turned on in this moment sends my hormones into overdrive. After I claim the human as my first meal, I want to make love to Edward, covered in Marie's blood. The thought of tasting Edward, covered in blood sends me into a frenzy and I can't control the moan that escapes my lips. I'm wet and panting and I want Edward _now._

I'm starting to feel light headed and I want to tell Edward that I can't fool around if I'm unconscious, but I can't focus long enough to do so. My breathing becomes labored and everything turns fuzzy as the room begins to spin. _My dinner._

xxx

"Carlisle," I hear Edward whisper nervously "do you think this is going to work?" I hear the beeping of machines around me and when I try to move, I find my limbs weighted down by a heavy, cool metal. When I open my eyes I see that I'm still in Carlisle's office, in my hospital bed, with IV's hooked into each arm; and heavy metal chains around my arms and legs, and my… neck.

"I'm not entirely sure, son," Carlisle says "but we have science on our side. If anything, this will buy us more time." I can't make sense of what they're saying, but clearly, it has something to do with the girl _chained_ to the hospital bed, which brings me to my reason to freak out. _ Why am I chained to a hospital bed?!_ "Bella," Carlisle smiles, seemingly surprised that I'm awake "I know you must be frightened by your restraints. Please remain calm, sweetheart." _You fucking think?_

Edward approaches and he looks pained. I turn toward him and notice that Rosalie is sitting beside my bed, eyeing me warily. Her expression is impassive and gives nothing away. I have the sinking feeling that she isn't here to comfort me. Edward moves to reach out and take my hand, but Rosalie grabs his arm and shakes her head. Sorrowfully, he pulls back and abides by her silent warning. Tears spring to my eyes and flow down my cheeks. "Why am I chained up!" I cry, begging anyone to tell me what's going on.

Edwards lips begin to move, but he soon gives up. It seems this is beyond his pay grade. I don't really blame him—how _do_ you explain to someone why they're chained up? It can't be an easy conversation to have. I know it's not an easy conversation on this end, either. I am, after all, the one who is chained with a guard. The tears flow harder. I feel Rosalie's eyes on me. When I look to her I find that she is glaring at me. The look on her face alone is frightening enough to shut me up and calm me down. There is a reason it is Rose, and not Alice, who is sitting watch.

"There was an incident," Carlisle is speaking gently as he adjusts the settings on one of the machines that looks like a heart monitor. At least I know my heart is beating right now. "We are draining your blood right now, Bella. You are only chained as a precaution to protect everyone involved."

"**What!"** I'm shouting and bordering on hysterical. Errant memories begin to come back to me. _Tasting my own blood._ I lick my lips in satisfaction at the memory of the flavor of my own blood. If _my_ blood tastes this good, I wonder how tasty a human's blood would be. I want to freak out over my new fascination with the taste of blood, but all I can think is _'when can I get more?_ I close my eyes to try and center myself. _You do not like the taste of blood, you sick freak!_ Oh, but I do like the taste of blood. Nothing—and I mean nothing… not even Edward himself tastes that erotic.

The memory of the blood leads to more memories. _Crushing Emmett in a hug, the bruises around his torso and the cracked marble skin. Smelling human blood and seeking it out._ I'm frozen in fear and mentally paralyzed. I tried to eat Grandma Marie. _I tried to eat Grandma Marie!_ The tears spring forth from my eyes once again. I cannot contain them any longer. I tried to eat my own grandmother, and I attacked my family in the process. I referred to her as lunch. _Oh, God, no wonder I'm chained._ I am a monster.

"Love," Edward moves closer and takes my hand in his "don't cry. We're fixing this. I promise, you will never go through that again." I nod, but refuse to meet his eyes. Aside from how embarrassing this all is—I can't look at him. His voice may be soothing, but I just know his eyes will reveal the truth. He must think I'm a monster now. He couldn't possibly have any other opinion of me because that's what I am. Tears fall from my eyes in mourning of what Edward and I had, though it was shortly lived, he loved me. I know that's gone now. My pity party of one is interrupted by Rosalie snorting and her disapproving tone.

"Yeah, until you turn her and she's a newborn. She's going to want to eat everybody within a five mile radius, Edward. Don't lie to her now, the cat is out of the fucking bag, brother." _Turn me? Who would possibly want to turn me after what I've done? Forget the transfusion, just fucking kill me already._

Edward ignores Rose and he squeezes my hand. "We are going to sedate you now, Bella. You won't awake until the procedure is through. Don't be scared, love." I catch a glimpse of Carlisle administering a clear liquid into my IV and my body grows warm. A soothing heat sears through me and I yawn. What the fuck did they give me that is working instantly? I try to ask, but my body betrays me and gives into the medication as I fall into a dreamless sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

**Bite to Break Skin**

**Chapter Fourteen**

**Bella**

"Bella?" Edward's velvet voice fills my ears and I struggle against my sleepy frame to see him. I want to talk to Edward, to have him hold me, that is, if he can. I will my eyes open and Rosalie the Warden is nowhere to be found. I look down and am relieved to find the chains are gone. Upon further inspection of my surroundings, I realize that I'm no longer in Carlisle's office at home—I'm in a hospital. I nearly panic before I realize that if I was all monstery and stuff there's no way Carlisle would have brought me to a hospital.

Edward is standing beside my bed and his stone fingers are running through my hair. I lean into his touch and smile up at him. _He's still calling me love. This is a good sign._ His smile is radiant and I want nothing more than to kiss him with all my might and to hear his thoughts. We stare at each other stupidly and I focus in on him, but I can't hear anything. The longer I try, and fail, to read his mind, the more perplexed the expression on his face becomes.

"I can't hear you," we say in unison. I'm scowling and he's grinning. Something does not add up here.

"I can't hear you," I repeat, as though speaking to a small child. He nods enthusiastically and leans down, kissing my forehead.

"I know, love," he whispers into the top of my head, "isn't it wonderful?" _Wonderful?_ No. No, it most certainly is not wonderful. I liked being able to read his thoughts. Edward is not terribly verbose, nor truthful, and reading his thoughts at least gave me some clue as to what the hell goes on inside that pretty head of his. So, _no,_ Edward, this most certainly is not wonderful, you nut job. He notices my confusion and in my silence he clarifies "us not being able to hear one another is a very good thing, Bella. It means that the procedure was a success. You're human now, love." He nuzzles my head and I think he's actually sniffing me. My thoughts are confirmed when I feel his nose crinkle atop my head "you smell funny now, though." I let out a weak laugh.

"Can we not talk about blood? I'm horrified that I tried to eat my grandmother," I whine without a bit of shame. He shakes his head and snorts with laughter.

"I hate it when that happens."

"Seriously, Edward. Hallmark doesn't make 'I'm sorry I tried to eat you' cards."

"I can have Alice make you one. Really, calm down. You're not officially a Cullen until you try to eat a relative." I gape up at him, un-amused. I'm not sure when Edward _procured_ himself a sense of humor—but I'm not sure I like it. He leans down and kisses my forehead gently. Unable to help myself, I crack a smile and lean into him. "How are you feeling?" Well, now, that's a loaded question, and one I'm not sure I can answer.

"My arms and legs feel really heavy, like I can't move them… So, I don't really know." I'm speaking slowly and my voice wavers with slight fear. I wiggle my toes and fingers with ease, so the lingering fear of being paralyzed disappears. I watch as Edward moves to the foot of the bed and turns down my covers, exposing my hospital gown and bare legs. His cool hands grip my right calve and he kneads the skin in slow circles. I begin to feel a mild tingling sensation from my toes to my thighs. I release a breathy sigh and he moves onto my left calve. The tingling feels wonderful and when he moves away, I wiggle both my legs joyfully.

I don't know how long I was out for. It's not exactly like my doctor had time to explain what recovery from not only a full body blood transfusion but also what a bone marrow transplant would entail. I continue to muse over my physical condition as Edward massages both of my arms back to life. The last I remember of Edward from before the procedure was that he looked to be afraid of me. _ Of me._ Somewhere deep in the recesses of my mind, I think that sounds so silly and far-fetched, but given recent events, I know what I'm capable of—and inciting fear is not exactly out of the realm of possibility.

"Thank you," I quietly thank Edward for his ministrations. Despite the soreness in my muscles, my limbs feel renewed. "What day is it?" The fact that I don't know how much time has passed since the procedure is somewhat of a worry for me.

"It's Thursday." Thursday? Thursday… I nod my head while I try to process this. We went to school on Tuesday, and now its Thursday… that's not so bad I guess. I give Edward a small smile to let him know I'm not the least bit worried that I lost Wednesday. "What are you thinking?" he asks gently as he leans down and kisses my forehead. I sit in silence for a while as I try to figure out what I am thinking.

"I guess I wasn't prepared to have lost a day," I say in a near whisper, "that's all." I feel out of sorts and confused, not knowing what I am now. _You're human, dummy._ I pout and look down at my lap. _Human._ Edward didn't really want me all that much when I was a hybrid… he really won't want me now that I'm human. _Why didn't he just change me?_ That way I could have been like him. Maybe then he would want me. Maybe then we could have had a future together. I take a few deep breaths and look up into his eyes. "I'm human," I say. Edward nods and he's grinning again. "Why are you so happy about this?"

Edward rearranges the chords and tubes that are hooked up to me, and slides into the narrow hospital bed, and curls up beside me. I lean into him, afraid to move much more than that and I wait for him to begin speaking. "Bella," he begins with a smile so large, I can hear it breaking through his voice, "I nearly lost you. Had the treatments not been successful, you would have been…" his voice trails off and I know it's because he can't bring himself to vocalize it.

"Destroyed," I finish for him and he simply nods. I spent so much time thinking about how cool it was being a hybrid that I never even considered that I could turn into… into that monster who tried to kill a human being. The realization is sobering, but I need to know more. "Will you tell me _why_ I turned into a monster?" I'm embarrassed to even utter the words, but Edward just holds me close, not letting his grip falter.

"Do you want the full or abridged version?"

"Abridged," I decide, "but don't leave anything important out."

I wait a long while, refusing to push him before he is ready. I realize what I'm asking of him and I know this is an explanation that can't be rushed.

"It just is what it is, Bella. Hybrids are not supposed to exist. I'm very sorry, love. Vampires aren't really supposed to exist either. I won't bore you with a genetics lesson, but I will say that your genetic makeup was at war with itself. As you matured, your vampire side became more dominant, and your human side could not keep up. You would have lost all rational thought, all humanity, everything that makes you… you."

I keep silent, waiting to see if he will continue, but he doesn't. I take a deep breath and let it out, slowly internalizing what he has said. Most of this, I already knew, I was just having difficulty putting it all together—until now. I am a monster. I don't just have a thirst for blood. I am losing myself, or finding myself. This is all so confusing. I don't really know anymore. I concentrate on Edward's wording and I go completely still.

"What is it, love?" Edward asks, tightening his grip on me.

"I would have…" I'm struggling with how to verbalize what I'm thinking, but continue to try as I might get it to come out. "I would have… not am. Would have. In the past?" I realize that I'm babbling and likely making no sense, but this is the most I can make of my thoughts aloud.

"That is the miracle, love. Carlisle and I will continue to check your health to see that you continue being… human and not all… _vampy_ as you put it, love." I chuckle quietly and look up at Edward who is beaming.

"You've called me _love_ like ten times in the last two minutes," I point out. I'm not complaining, just observing.

"That's because I'm positively gay," Edward says, a large grin on his face and I choke on an intake of air and begin sputtering like a fool. He makes sure that I'm alright before he asks what that was about.

"You're gay?!" I'm practically shouting and while I realize that people can likely hear us, I don't much care. Edward has just professed that he's gay… after he ravaged me, and dated me, and, and… mated with me! The expression on my face must read as perplexed and frightened and truly devastated because Edward breaks out into a roaring fit of laughter.

"Gay as in happy, ecstatic, overjoyed," he rolls his eyes and I'm caught somewhere between flustered and frustrated. I'd never been into older men before but this Victorian-era geezer thing he has going on is equal parts adorable and hilarious. I will have to stow this away for future reference. Emmett will enjoy it.

I am about to tell Edward that I love his laugh. He sounds so carefree and full of life. Even before, when I hadn't seen him but had heard his laugh; it sounded somber and lonely. This laugh, though, it sounds beautiful. This Edward looks and is acting like a spirited teenage boy. He looks like he's gotten his greatest wish.

The hospital room door slowly creaks open and I look to see who is coming in. Jasper's face is peeking through the crack and the sight of him makes me grin. "Jasper!," I shout happily. He opens the door fully to reveal everyone else behind him. Tears spring to my eyes and I get choked up at the sight. Edward makes no attempt at leaving my side and for that I am grateful. Carlisle doesn't seem nearly as upset about us sharing a bed this time and I must admit, I feel a little smug.

They all approach slowly, each wearing a smile on their face. Jasper reaches me first and hugs my gently, careful to avoid the tubes and wires. "You're finally awake," he drawls and I nod, still grinning like an idiot. "I thought I was going to have to find myself another little sister." I snort.

"Yeah," I laugh, "sure, like you wouldn't wind up snacking on them." Jasper playfully scowls at me.

"Hey, we're not the ones who tried to eat our grandmother," Emmett butts in, clearly feeling left out. I snicker at him.

"Touche," I brush off the jab with a casual ease, though, deep down, that sort of hurts. Emmett leans in and hugs me, followed by Alice; and Esme who stares at me like I've got three heads. She coos in my ear about me being her baby. Edward gently reminds her of her grip. I make a note to thank him later—she was verging on the Mama Bear hug. Carlisle gently nudges Esme out of the way and reminds her that I am his daughter, too. She doesn't seem pleased with the interruption but moves aside and silently promises Carlisle that he will pay later. Her eyes are narrowed and there is a tiny crease in her forehead. I giggle and then turn into Edward, trying to hide my smile.

Carlisle leans in a hugs me, quietly telling me that "your mother never did learn how to share." The entire room breaks out in giggles and snickers. Emmett makes a comment about make up sex that I do my best to ignore.

When Carlisle steps back, Rose approaches and tentatively hugs me. She surprises me by whispering in my ear, "don't ever scare me like that again, Bella." I'm not exactly sure what to make of that, but I agree anyway. Am I supposed to be avoiding eating Grandma Marie or going crazy? I don't plan on doing either. The family doesn't visit for long. Carlisle says they need to hunt and he's right. They all look hungry and that worries me. I know how I feel when I'm hungry.

"I won't be gone long, love," Edward says, soothing my nerves.

"So, you are coming back then?" I ask nervously. He snorts and kisses my head.

"I haven't the strength to keep away from you. You, Isabella Marie Swan Cullen are stuck with me here after." I practically drool at his words. Emmett clears his throat and not-so-subtly suggests that Edward get a move on hunting. He is glaring at Edward and I just don't understand the attitude. I'm starting to feel like Emmett doesn't want me and Edward to date. Well, the best I can say about that is—tough tootie. Emmett may be my brother, but Edward is my mate. How many times am I going to have to remind people of this?

Edward kisses me, this time on my lips and my entire body lights up like it's Christmas morning. We say our goodbyes with short little pecks and eventually he removes himself from my hospital bed and leaves to go hunt. His eyes were black when he left, but I like to think it was for reasons aside from being malnourished.

I channel surf on the TV and make small talk with a few nosey nurses. I sit and wish that at least dad would have stayed back. Humans are so much less nosey with a vampire around. I catch myself and realize with great sorrow that I'm going to have to say _other humans_, because that's what I am now, too. Time passes and I'm tempted to text Edward and tell him to just catch the first damn bunny he finds, snack on it, and come back to cuddle. I miss him and this hospital is so lonely without him here.

"Hello, Bella," Mike appears in the doorway, breaking me from my reverie. His voice is filled with nervousness and confusion. I must look really bad off for him to be so nervous around me right now. I plaster on my best smile, mindful not to run off my only human friend.

"Hi, Mike," I nearly whisper. At the sight of my smile, Mike's disposition changes, and he stands taller. He looks so… predatory. This is not the Mike I know, and though I can't place what about his sudden change in demeanor frightens me, I am most definitely frightened. I wish Edward were here.

"Don't be afraid, Bella," Mike warns me, sending my fear to a new level. The last time I was told not to be afraid, Grandma Marie sent me packing to live with vampires. How in God's name anybody thinks _that_ phrase is soothing is beyond me. My body goes rigid as Mike crosses the room. I watch him intently, my finger on the "Call" button for the nurse. The sun breaks through the ever present clouds and casts a rare ray of light through each of my hospital room windows. I note that there are seven windows in my room. I have spent enough time in hospitals to know that you're lucky to get one window, let alone seven.

Mike's eyes grow wide as he studies the rays of sun cast on the floor. I watch as he expertly walks around the sunlight and keeps to the far wall. _Since when is Mike afraid of the sun?_ The moment the errant thought passes I'm hit with a memory. Mike's eyes turned black. My breathing picks up. I'm terrified and shouting inside. _Why did Mike's eyes turn black?!_ He can't be a vampire, the others would have known. _So, __**what**__ is he then?_

"Bella, don't freak out," he says from his position, now standing beside me. I am on the verge of tears and I can feel the panic swelling in my chest. "I need to talk to you. I'm scared and I don't know what to do." His words sound nothing but sincere, but I can't bring myself to trust him. I thought he was my only human friend. I thought he was just a sweet human boy. I thought he was… human. "I won't hurt you, I promise," he whispers and my body relaxes just slightly.

"What are you?" The words fly out of my mouth before I can process what I'm saying. Solemnly, he looks at me.

"I am… just like you," he says, taking my breath away. Just like me? What does that mean? Does that mean that he knows I'm a hybrid… or was a hybrid? Oh, fuck, what the hell _does_ that mean?! "A half human, I mean," he continues. I nod slowly and meet his eyes. He looks pained and remorseful. He looks like he just found out that he's going to die. The fear that was welling in my chest is replaced with sadness. I would not wish the last two weeks of my life on anyone, let alone Mike, whom I have considered a friend.

"And your other half?" I'm whispering, too shaken to speak much louder.

"I think you know, Bella," he reaches out and presses his right hand to my face. He is cold and his skin almost feels like marble… like… a vampire. I gasp loudly and pull back from him. I had already figured out that he was a hybrid, but the evidence on my skin is incredible. "I'm sorry," he whispers, "I didn't mean to scare you. But you know what I am because we are the same."

"Hybrid," I whisper, nearly shaking. Mike nods and takes a step back, likely sensing my discomfort. "That's why you became my friend, isn't it?" I accuse him, my voice growing stronger with every word, "that's why…" I pause, shuddering at the thought of my next accusation, "what do you want from me!" Instantly, Mike places his cold hand over my mouth. He is using very little force, firm but gentle.

"I don't want to hurt you, Bella, please," he voice is strained, "be smart about this. You know as well as I do that the humans cannot know what we are; neither can the vampires. We're not supposed to exist. We will be destroyed." His words don't scare me. I'm human now, Edward says so. I'm not in danger, but… Mike is. There are only two choices, to turn Mike or to make him all humany like me. I'd prefer the latter. If Edward won't change me, I'm making damn sure he won't change Mike.

"What do you want from me?" This time I'm whispering, and he removes his hand from my mouth.

"Your dad saved you, Bella. Look at you—you're… human," he says with great awe in his voice and on his face. I nod, smiling. "I want my dad to save me, too," he says sadly.

"Well, I can have my dad save you, Mike," I offer, thinking this to be an easy solution, though, I am still struggling to wrap my mind around the fact that Mike is, quite obviously a hybrid. I'm sure stranger things have happened, and in my own life even, but still, this is definitely one for the Freaky Facts Journal. Mike shakes his head frantically.

"No, no, no, you can't!" he whisper-shouts and I remain silent. I don't understand what part of my plan is so bad. Carlisle is the most compassionate person I know, vampire or not, surely he wouldn't let Mike suffer. "He'll have me destroyed, Bella. We are not supposed to exist. Look at me!" he gestures to his neck and hands and face. Gone are his pink cheeks, flushed with embarrassment. He looks positively vampiric. I try to rationalize with him that Carlisle would never do that, but then, he almost did with me. Having lived through my little "episode", I wouldn't be able to blame them if they had destroyed me. I was too far gone.

I eye Mike cautiously, and decide not to argue. While Carlisle may not jump to the decision to have Mike destroyed—Edward certainly would. Hell, he wanted to destroy Mike when he thought Mike was just a human boy that wanted to kiss me. Oh, goodness. I sigh and nod. Mike seems to be in control of his faculties for now. There must be another way to save him. _Wait a minute._ Another thoughts hits me.

"How did you know about me? And who told you about you?" My eyebrows knit together and I stare at Mike nervously, the confusion plain on my face.

"There is so much that the Cullens have not told you, Sister." My jaw falls. I have the sinking feeling that Mike didn't just call me "sister" for no reason. This cannot be happening.


	15. Chapter 15

**Bite to Break Skin**

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Edward**

"So, you are coming back then?" Bella asks me. She seems nervous. I snort and kiss her head, giving her a little sniff. She smells "off", but she's here and she's safe—and we have eternity. So much has changed in the past week. I had wasted the past eleven years staying away from her. At the time, it seems so right, as Marie had convinced me, to stay away. I would confuse her, suffocate her, scare her, and imprison her to a life she may not want. At least, that's the story Marie painted for me—the story she still paints for me. This time, though, I'm going to be selfish. I want Bella by my side for the rest of eternity. I want to hear her thoughts and to feel her body without fear of hurting her. I want to marry that sweet, wonderful, obnoxious little thing. I am hers and she is mine.

"I haven't the strength to keep away from you. You, Isabella Marie Swan Cullen are stuck with me here after," I say and she looks absolutely dazzled. I revel in her insanity and thank my lucky stars that she is nothing short of insane. Spending eternity with me should not be quite so appealing; but if that's what it takes to get her to keep me, then insane she will stay.

Emmett is the least happy about our mating. He has always looked out for Bella as any big brother would, and he's just not ready for her to be growing up so fast. His thoughts are frantic and he sends me a very clear visual of him tearing me to pieces. I just smile at him. Rose has been waiting for this, for me to give in, ever since Marie sent me away. She's tired of her life revolving around mine and Bella's, and honestly, I can't really blame her.

Emmett reminds me that we all need to hunt. His glare is almost comical. He is sincerely about to blow up at me. I look at Bella and she is giving Emmett this _'hell hath no fury like a hybrid scorned'_ look. I nuzzle her cheek and then kiss her head, taunting Emmett, daring him to say anything to her. God, I can't wait until she's a vampire—her temper will be lethal. I just know I'm going to be in a perpetual state of arousal. She might not finish high school for the next decade or so if I can't control my hormones. _Shit._ Just the thought of an angry vampire Bella has me at 'half chubb' as Emmett calls it. I will the thoughts away and direct my lower extremities to calm down. I even go as far as to imagine myself mated to Marie and I deflate automatically.

After everyone's well wishes, several little kisses and silent mocking, I crawl out of Bella's bed and we go hunting. Normally I would demand that someone stay back, while volunteering myself, to watch my beautiful girl; but Marie is there. She will keep Bella safe, and after _the incident_, they need to talk without the entire family looking on. The hours drag on while we hunt. None of us venturing too far from home, and none of us catching what we desired. Deer, squirrels and even a few rabbits… needless to say, as a group, we are not pleased.

We arrive back at the house later that afternoon and settle into the family room. To my surprise, Marie is waiting for us. "Why aren't you at the hospital with Bella?" I shout, displeased with the fact that Bella is all alone. Marie jumps and nearly spills her tea on the carpet. A scowl forms on her face and she takes a seat in the chair opposite the one Carlisle is sitting in—the one he always sits in.

"Bella was asleep when I left, Edward. Did you expect me to just sit and stare at her?" I scoff and pace the room. "Besides," she continues as though I care, "Rose asked me to be here for the family meeting." The moment her name is mentioned, Rosalie is cursing me out in her head—daring me to chastise her. I choose not to, not because I'm above rough-housing with my dear sister, but because the sooner we finish here, the sooner I can return to my girl.

"Can we skip the bickering this go 'round?" Esme asks sweetly from her perch on the arm of Carlisle's chair, "I think Edward here is antsy to get back to Bella."

"Yes," I concur, "please".

"Well, then," Carlisle begins, "it looks as though Bella's transfusions were a success, though it will take time for us to know for sure. Her body, not unlike a true human's, is constantly replenishing itself in a variety of ways. It may be weeks before we know for sure how successful the treatment actually was."

Marie's mind is racing with thoughtful prayer. "And if it was not?" She asks, looking directly at Carlisle. She looks frightened. I want to have sympathy for her, but I just can't bring myself to. This is not the woman I knew.

"I know this is not what you want to hear, Marie, but the moment Bella starts to show her hybrid qualities again, we will change her."

"Oh," is all she can say. After years of screaming and fighting, _oh_ is all she can say? After so many tears and so much hate, _oh_ is all she can fucking say. I'm seething and I allow myself to slip into myself. Memories accost me. Memories of handing Bella off to Marie so that she could have a somewhat normal childhood. Memories of all the tiny ways that Charlie took charge of Bella's care, eventually resulting in becoming her father figure. Memories of James and the sick things he's done to his own offspring. Memories of Marie… in tears when I explained about mating and that she was not my mate. Memories of more tears when she met Bella and learned that _she_ was my mate. More anger, more memories, more tears, more heartbreak, and more grief.

_Oh._

I turn and glare at Marie whose thoughts are a mixture of sadness and quiet resentment.

"Oh?" I ask, venom pooling in my mouth and a low hiss threatening to escape. Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Emmett all look nervous. They've known this would happen eventually and in their own ways, they're prepared for it. Jasper's eyes are closed and he is focusing all of his energy on calming me, but it's doing him no good. While he is adamant about defusing the situation, he feels the same as I, though not as strong. Rosalie, true to form, is grinning. She's not as callous as one would observe. She loves Bella. She loves me. She loves Marie, even, but she's been waiting for this since the moment I realized Marie had fallen in love with me.

"Is that all you can say?" I roar, "honestly! _Oh, Edward, change me! Please, Edward, please… change me! I can't live without you, Edward. Please, oh please, change me!"_ I mock her without an ounce of sympathy. Carlisle is trying to calm me with his thoughts and Esme is silently chanting 'oh dear, oh my, oh dear, oh my.' Truly, this is ridiculous.

"You spent **years** begging me to change you. Begging me to love you. Begging me to give you immortality because it is such a fucking gift. It is so wonderful, so fucking fantastic! But now? Now that I have _**my mate**_, you don't want me to change her, because… because why, Marie? Can you fucking explain _that_ to me?!"

Delicately, Marie sits her tea cup on a coaster on the end table, stands and smoothes out her slacks. "Because I was wrong!" she shouts at the top of her lungs. "Because I thought I could never possibly love another as much as I loved you. But I did, Edward," she begins to cool, but stands firm with her message. "I married Charles and I loved Charles. He gave me a life I didn't know that I would want. And Charlie. My son is dead because of you." Her voice shakes with grief and I feel as though I have been stabbed in the heart. "I love Bella, but had you never brought her to me, my son would be alive! That lunatic wouldn't have slaughtered him to get to her! Both my son and my husband are dead, Edward. Excuse me for not being happy that my granddaughter will soon be dead, too!" The tears stream down her face and I'm rendered speechless.

Everyone is rendered speechless, except for Esme that is. Esme tries to hug Marie but she puts her hand up in protest. "Marie, I lost my child, too. I know how you feel. But you cannot blame Edward for Charlie's death. You and Charlie both knew the risks of taking in Bella, and frankly, I have a hard time believing that even now, Charlie would regret that decision."

Marie glares into Esme's golden eyes and a sob breaks free. Esme continues, though, with great caution. "Bella is not human, no matter what we do to her… she will always be a hybrid, and until she's changed, her life will always hang in the balance. This is her only hope, Marie. Please understand." Marie nods and walks to the edge of the room, intent on leaving.

"I understand, I'm just not ready to cope with it," she says and excuses herself to her guest room. In her room, her temper flares. _James_ is on the forefront of her mind. What he did to Charlie, and Renee, and Chelsea, and all those who came before them. How he used them, all for his own personal gain. I try to block her out because now I'm angry, angry enough to smash my baby grand into bits.

"So, you're resolved then?" Rosalie asks, almost nervous in her question. Emmett's gaze is fixed on the carpeted floor and he's counting fibers. I nod and a small smile tugs on Rosalie's lips. "Thank you," she nearly whispers and I nod again. "So, how long until…" her voice trails off.

I smile unintentionally. _Soon._ "After we are married," I say confidently. There is not a breath taken in the room, not a single movement, not even so much as a thought for nearly a minute until an obnoxious squeal interrupts the silence. _Alice._ She jumps up and not a moment later so do Rosalie and Esme who join her in a squealing, giggling frenzy. The last time I saw Rosalie giggle was during she and Emmett's third wedding back in the sixties. I still don't know why she was giggling, but they were all staring at me, and I've spent the past fifty or so years trying to nail it down—but not a one is willing to spill the beans. You wouldn't think women could keep a secret for five minutes let alone half a century…

Carlisle stands and turns away from the women. He comes to stand by my side and places a comforting hand on my shoulder. "You have yet to ask her," he states. Somehow he knows. This is why Emmett calls him Yoda. I sigh.

"She'll say yes," I smile at him, but his lips form a straight line. He is not so sure. "Why are you giving me that face?"

"It has only been a few weeks, Edward. She is conflicted enough about dating you here in Forks as you two carry the Cullen name." I pull away from him, not wanting to hear anymore, but he's Carlisle and he is silently relentless with his grip.

"As your father, I must give you this advice, whether you want it or heed it, or not… be honest with her, Edward. She needs to know her heritage. She needs to know about James. You cannot hide this from her forever. He will come for her as he has come for the others. If you push the marriage issue before turning her, she may object to the change until she has healed from the shock."

I don't want to tell Bella about James. Charlie is her father even if it's James' DNA coursing through her. There are just some things she doesn't need to know. Carlisle catches wind of my thoughts, though, I don't know how. He's not the mind reader here, I am.

"She will hurt, but you must be honest with her son," Carlisle says quietly and he unclasps his hand from my shoulder and walks away. Rose comes to stand beside me and in an uncharacteristic gesture; she lays her head on my shoulder.

"Uh," I murmur. I can feel her smile. I smile in return, somewhat fearful that she is going to try to kill me. It would not be the first time.

"Do you remember when I first came to the family?" he asks. I laugh, because of course I do. One, I have perfect recall, and two, she was a nightmare. If she wasn't complaining aloud, she was complaining silently. Unfortunately for me, her internal voice is far more obnoxious than her external one. Surprising, but true. "Okay, asshole. I get it. I was incorrigible. Anyway," she brushes me off and continues, a slight laugh at play in her words. "Neither you nor Carlisle wanted to tell me why I had become…" her voice trails off, still, after nearly eighty years, Rose has trouble vocalizing it "what we are," she says quietly. "I was so angry because I didn't have a choice. I wanted a vote in how I would live my life, if I had even chose a life at all. Back then, I was convinced that I would have chosen death over this… existence. I was wrong."

Shocked, I turn away from her just slightly. _I think Rosalie just admitted to being wrong..._ She lifts her head and her lips turned up in a full-on smile. She looked to be nearing a giggle. This interaction was frightening. _Did she hurt Bella? Poison her? Did she rip one of Emmett's ears off, again? My music collection! What has she done?!_ A full laugh broke from her chest as my eyes narrowed and I fell into a panic attack.

"Oh, Edward," she cooed. I stood motionless. That's what they tell you in defense classes with predatory animals… just don't move. "You're a hoot," she smirked, "back to what I was saying. I was most angry that I didn't get a choice in any of this. I was angry that Carlisle had, essentially, ended my life and then given me to… _**you**_." I huff but she waves me off. _Like I was so thrilled with said gift myself._

"My point is…" her tone has turned icy and I find solace in the fact that _this_ is the Rosalie I know and have come to love as a sister over the decades, "I wasn't given a choice in how my life would turn out, nor was I given a choice of companions. It was just assumed that I would mate with you and I would be happy. Not once did you, or Esme, or Carlisle ask me what I **wanted**."

I get what Rose is saying, but I don't know how I'm going to tell Bella any of this. I don't know how I'm going to be able to break her heart with the truth. She is so young. I'm not sure she will understand the gravity of what I need to tell her, perhaps I can put it off until after she's changed. As if reading my mind, Rose nudges me. "Go. You want to be with her, and for some damn reason she wants to be with you, too. So, just go, and enjoy her—and for the love of all that is holy, please just fucking turn her already." I leave the house, without a single word, and race through the woods to see my girl.


	16. Chapter 16

**Bite to Break Skin**

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Bella**

"Sister?" I ask, nearly breathless. The weight of the word sinks into my very soul, tormenting me. I can feel my stomach churn with fear; spiraling just from beneath my ribs down into the pit. My body feels both weightless and like stone. I can't tell if I'm coming or going. _Sister._

Mike doesn't move, not even an inch. "Sister," I repeat. Mike looks down and nods his head. He seems so sincere, so scared of himself, of me, of the truth; and there isn't a damn thing I can do to comfort him, I can't even comfort myself right now.

"How?" I ask, regretting the question the moment I hear it aloud. Just a few weeks ago I was completely average in every way. I had two loving parents who allowed me my independence, but never left me to myself when I needed them. I had the silliest oldest brother in the world. Goofy and charming, I could always count on Emmett for some comic relief. My nerd brother, Jasper, who had spent countless hours helping me with my homework and schooling me in military strategy; was my calm place. Jasper, who shared with me century-old secrets from his arsenal—how to disarm Rosalie, how to shut up Alice, how to win (_at anything!_) with Emmett… and then there's Edward. _My Edward._

The only thing that was unique about my life was that my family is made up of vampires. No big deal, right? Yes and no. You'd be surprised what your mind is willing to accept given enough time and love and patience. And that is one thing that I am never lacking from my family: time and love and patience. Even Rosalie, in her own, special way, is always there for me; even if her help is typically accompanied by a death threat of sorts.

Now… now my life is… indescribable. I wouldn't even know where to begin. And now this. _This_. Whatever this is… has me wanting to hide beneath my comforter back at home. I want to slide into my bed and cry. And hide. And process. Yes, I need to process. But I don't have time to process, not with Mike standing here, his eyes flying around the room at an inhuman speed as he avoids eye contact with me. He looks vulnerable and scared and so very put upon. I have a feeling that he's been saddled with the task of telling me something awful; something that I can't recover from.

"Please," I plead with Mike, my heart shattering as I pry the truth out of him.

"Our father," he whispers. And that's it. The truth. And it's out there and floating around the room, around me, narrowly avoiding me as I do my best to absorb it. Leaning in slowly, Mike takes my hand and holds it gently. He didn't want to tell me, but something, _perhaps someone_, compelled him to. His father, perhaps?

And now I get it. It's not _his_ father is Mike is to be believed. It's _our_ father. The churning in my stomach intensifies. The sound of my gurgling stomach is followed by a few, quick dry heaves. Mike swiftly grabs the kidney bean-shaped dish on my side table and holds it out to me. I grab it just in time as the contents of my stomach spills into the dish, splattering everywhere with a violent fervor. The dish fills and Mike retreats a few feet away as he once again averts his eyes. I heave into the overflowing bowl again. The acids from my stomach slosh over my hands and down my arms onto my hospital gown and my bed linens. The feeling sickens me further and I empty my stomach several more times.

No longer able to watch, Mike flees the room and doesn't return. A nurse rushes in to help, but by this time, it's too late. My stomach is empty, not that it had been full before. I had only purged liquids, stomach acids, I'm sure. The nurse, who if I remember correctly, is named Sarah, grabs the dish from me and replaces it with an empty one. I take it and just there, slumped over, my mouth hanging open, and drool slowly pouring out of my mouth. Minutes ago I wanted nothing more than Edward by my side, but now, like this, I would be humiliated in his presence.

Nurse Sarah flutters around me checking every machine that I'm hooked up to. Reading charts and double checking their readings. She seems nervous, desperate. Moments later, three more nurses rush in and check the monitors and fawn all over me asking me a series of never-ending questions. _Can you breathe? Can you follow my finger? Do you need another bowl?_ And finally, _what happened?_ I can't answer that, they would lock me up in a mental ward.

Minutes later and nearly half of the nurses in Forks, Washington appear satisfied with my physical state. Nurse Sarah scurries out with the crowd and I'm left alone with Nurse Lisa. Nurse Lisa is one of the head nurses around here. My dad… _Carlisle_… calls her his right-hand girl. I feel badly for Nurse Sarah. She's in trouble now, I'm sure. This isn't my first time at a hospital. _Broken rib. Broken leg. Bruised skull. Broken finger._ I know well enough to know that any wince of pain, any tears, anything other than a perfect, healthy, recovering patient is unacceptable. At least that's how Nurse Lisa sees it when it comes to the Cullen kids. But of course, I'm the only one who has ever wound up here, and it is usually at the hands of a sibling; but we can't tell anyone that. They'll think I'm abused. In reality, I'm just human, well, I am now.

"Okay kid," Nurse Lisa brings a cool compress to my forehead and urges me to lie back. I lie down and hold the compress to my forehead as I allow my eyes to close. "What happened here?" Her voice is gentle and without the pushiness of the other nurses. Nurse Lisa and I have gotten along since our first day in Forks when we all came up to the hospital to introduce ourselves. I knew immediately that I liked her because she noticed me. With so much beauty and perfection surrounding me, she _noticed_ me. I felt special, unique in my own right.

"I got scared," I whispered, taking a peek at Nurse Lisa, watching her work on cleaning me up. She strips me of the dirtied blankets and places them in a bin for dirtied linens. "I woke up alone," I say sheepishly. Nurse Lisa watches me with sympathetic eyes. She nods and places a thin sheet over me and then removes my hospital gown. She works quickly and does her best to preserve my modesty as she somehow strips my bed and body of every disgusting drop that expelled from my stomach.

"You know, when your dad first brought you in the other day," she says, "my heart just bottomed out. I thought I'd lost my girl." She smiles and I smile involuntarily as the tears stream down my face. _My dad._ I don't even know what that is anymore. I had Charlie. I thought I knew who he was and what his place in my life was. I have Carlisle. I know who he is and what his place is in my life; but I have no idea how any of this relates to what Mike has said. I have no idea how _I_ relate to anyone anymore. Is my Grandma Marie still my Grandma Marie?

"Nurse Lisa, do you think that kids who aren't adopted ever feel like they don't know who they are?" I flush in embarrassment. What a ridiculous question to ask. And the worst part is that she's going to tell Carlisle what I've asked, and he's going to call a family meeting and talk about me when I'm not there. Everyone is going to be paranoid that I feel like I don't fit in, sans Rosalie of course, who will undoubtedly point out that I _don't_ fit in.

"Sure," Nurse Lisa says with an ease about her. "You're seventeen, you're confused about your feelings for you step-brother," she gives me a sly smile and nods, "yeah, I know." Now I'm _really _embarrassed. "You come from a big family and you're in a new town. Add all of that onto your physical health, and Girl, I'd be confused, too." I laugh nervously, worried about the conversation that I've talked myself into.

"Everybody feels out of sorts at times," she says as she covers me in a new hospital gown and bed linens. "I wasn't adopted but, Bella, I have never been as close to any of my family as you are to your adopted family." I sigh and she waves a finger at me, effectively shutting me up. I have great respect for this woman and I would never disrespect her intentionally.

"On your father's first shift at this hospital I asked him about you kids. See, when he introduced his family to the staff, he never once used the word adopted. In fact, he hates the word." She raises her eyebrows at me and continues on, comfortable in my silence. "So, you know what he told me? That man told me that his children came from God. I swear, Honey, if your mother wasn't such a scary woman, I would have jumped on Dr. Cullen the moment he said that."

"Ew!" I screech and shudder. Nurse Lisa laughs and then so do I. "My mom's scary?" I ask momentarily forgetting my concerns. Nurse Lisa nods her head and looks around the room as she plops herself down on my bed.

"Girl," she begins, a giggle surfacing, "you have no idea." I laugh loudly, throwing my head back trying to imagine my mom being scary. "You know your dad's an attractive guy, right?" I cringe and nod my head. _If she elaborates, I might puke again._

"Well, your mom notices how women respond to him and naturally, she becomes a little… possessive. She's almost as territorial over that husband of hers as she is over you kids."

"My mom's the best," I say. It's the truth, she really is. Nurse Lisa nods in agreement.

"Still, she scares the crap out of me," she whispers and I snort my amusement.

A gentle knock on the open hospital room door breaks me from my laughter as my eyes settle on Grandma Marie. My joy disappears immediately and my eyes fill with tears as I break into a heavy sob. Grandma Marie races across the room and gives Nurse Lisa the stink eye. She reaches me and immediately wraps her arms around me, holding me tightly. Sobs wrack my body with such force that I worry I'll throw up again. Grandma Marie's presence reminds me of Mike and the conversation that we need to finish.

Grandma Marie strokes my hair and tells me how much she loves me. She tells me that I am her entire world and she just wants me to be okay. She apologizes for keeping the truth from me until the words wear her out and apologize for trying to eat her until I can breathe regularly. We talk about my fears, we talk about her fears; we talk about everything that doesn't really matter anymore.

The one thing I want to talk about is the one she skirts around. I want to talk about Charlie. She just keeps telling me "your father was a good man." I don't even know how to respond anymore. Part of me wants to call Grandma Marie out on her calling Charlie my father, but I don't. I love Charlie. I can't think of him as anything but my father; regardless of the capacity that he fits that role.

_My father._

The idea that Charlie is likely not my father is unsettling. If what Mike said was true, then we share at least one parent. _Our father_. If Charlie is my dad, then Renee would have to be Mike's mom; but I don't see how that would be possible; and that's not what Mike said. The Cullens watched Renee since before her birth. Would they not have known? Would that have been possible? Not likely. This leaves one possibility. _Charlie_.

So, if we don't share a mother, then logic dictates that we would share a father. My breathing picks up and I feel hot tears stream down my cheeks. Grandma Marie comes to soothe me, but I'm inconsolable. If Charlie isn't my dad, then who is? And I realize what I have to do.

I have to lie. I don't _want_ to lie to my family. But then, these people have been lying to me for my entire life—about so much, about everything. They have all lied to me about everything, about who I am, about what I am, about where I come from. These are not small lies. They are not rectifiable with a simple apology. They are not able to be pushed aside. They are not forgettable, and they are not acceptable. At this point, the only one who I feel hasn't lied to me is Mike, which is devastating.

Despite everything that I thought I knew to be true, and despite how many lies were told, I never thought this to be one of them. Everything in me tells me who my father is. Everything in me confirms what I've always known: Charlie is my father and Carlisle is my dad. I just wish either one of them were here to talk to me, to comfort me. But one is dead, actually, both are dead; but I can't talk to him about this. Not with all of the lies he's told me. _You have a blood condition, Bella._ I roll my eyes at my own naivety. _Blood condition my ass, Carlisle._

When Charlie died, I was only five years old. I had just started kindergarten. We lived back in Alaska, where I was born. Well, where I think I was born. Maybe that was a lie, too. I haven't a fucking clue at this point. Honestly.

I remember, vaguely, Edward explaining death to me. He explained about vampires and humans, and the difference between the two. Nowhere in there do I remember an explanation of hybrids. Always lying, there's always a lie, even if it's hidden in a truth.

Edward did his best when he told me Charlie was dead. He pulled a page out of Carlisle's playbook and told me that some humans are just so good, and that Jesus loves them so much that he brings them back to heaven.

I remember asking him why God never wants to take vampires back to heaven. He told me they're spoiled rotten creatures like Rosalie and that God is punishing them by keeping them on earth. He told me how good Charlie was and how lucky I was to be his little girl. So many memories of Edward as a child flood me now. He'll deny them, because that's what he does. Edward lies. They all lie. _They all fucking lie._

I remember Charlie's funeral. He was a cop and they said he died in the line of duty. I remember the 21 gun salute, I remember all the men in uniform, as they expressed their sorrow for my loss. At the time I didn't have any clue what I had lost. I didn't know what was going on. In so many ways, little has changed in the last twelve years. I was a kid. I was so young, I just thought it was some kind of party or something in Charlie's honor, like a birthday party. The one thing I didn't understand was why Charlie wasn't there.

It took me weeks to realize that Charlie wasn't ever coming home. I remember that night really clearly. I doubt that I'll ever forget it. It was the moment that Grandma Marie told me we were moving to Chicago. I didn't know how we were going to tell Charlie so that when he was done in heaven, he would know where to come home to.

Then I got it. He wasn't coming home. He would never come home. That's when I really understood what death was. That was the first time I felt like my entire body ripped into a million little pieces. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I didn't want to breathe. I wanted to go to heaven with my daddy. I wanted to be a good little girl so Jesus would take me to heaven and I could be with my daddy again.

All these memories have returned so recently. Beforehand, they always felt like a dream. A very confusing dream. I thought I had just made it up. A lot like now. I just want my daddy. Whoever Charlie is, he will always be my dad, my father. I'll always love him. The rest of them? That's debatable at this point. I'm honestly just not sure anymore. Mate or no, I just don't know who I can trust.

I cling to my grandma, or my "grandma", as I don't know who this woman really is. I cry harder and force those thoughts away. Marie is my grandma. She is. I know I'm being childish, but I'm pretty much cool with that right now. I mean, I am a fucking child, and it'd be fucking amazing if these people would take notice of that fact.

After what feels like hours of Grandma Marie holding me, rocking me, soothing me, I see Nurse Lisa enter the room with a tray. She takes a large needle from it and administers it into my I.V. Nurse Lisa's gentle voice whispers over the hum of Marie's soothing words.

"Dr. Cullen wants her to sleep," she explains to Marie. I want to fight against her. I want to argue. But I can't. All I can do is hold my grandmother, feeling my body grow heavy with sleep. I hear the Cullens, my family, enter my room. My eyelids have sunk closed and no matter how hard I try, I can't open them. I smell Edward before I feel him. He slinks into the bed beside me, and cradles me to his body. I can't fight the comfort that I feel with him. Nurse Lisa snickers in the background, watching Edward and I, no doubt.

"What did you do to her?" Edward hisses. Marie begins stuttering nervously, repeating again and again that she didn't do anything. She just walked into the room. When Esme finally calms them both down, Nurse Lisa updates them on what she knows. What they can't figure out is what upset me to begin with. Edward, the expert fucking liar doesn't buy that I was so upset over waking up alone. He's adamant that something else must have upset me. I fall seamlessly into unconsciousness, listening to the familiar sounds of bickering.


	17. Chapter 17

**Bite to Break Skin**

**Chapter Seventeen**

**Bella**

Two weeks. It's been two weeks of pure torture and I'm _finally_ being allowed to go back to school tomorrow. _Finally._ Being cooped up in that hospital and then that house has me raging something fierce. Emmett has asked me several times if I'm "you know, about to… you know." For such a crude creature, he can't bring himself to directly ask me about my period. The last time I screamed in his face which got Rosalie laughing. She seems to be picking up on my anger, which is surprising. Typically the only thing Rosalie picks up on is how people react to her. But this emotion is entirely separate from her, and somehow, she appears to understand me. It's really starting to freak me the fuck out.

After my surgery and subsequent freak-out of epic proportions, I stayed in the hospital for three more days. Being Dr. Cullen's daughter has its perks. Unfortunately, it also has its downsides. It means that hospital policy doesn't apply to me. It means that the visitor limit and hours are ignored. It means that Alice can come and make me pretty at any hour she chooses. It means Edward never has to leave my bed. It means that Emmett can bring twenty Mad Libs with him and force me to play with him until I throw them at him.

It means that Jasper can sit beside me and update me about school; babbling, and all the while using his mood control so I can't even get pissed enough to scream. It means that Esme can dote and fuss over me and show Nurse Lisa _for the seventh time_ how I like my bed made… with me in it! It means that when I tell my doctor, who just so happens to be Carlisle, that my visitors are driving me nuts; he kisses my head, chuckles, and apologizes explaining that he can move small mountains but he can't remove the midget from my side. Meanwhile, Alice is testing out new nail polish colors against my skin tone, completely unaware that if it would cause harm, I would make her drink it. And how fucking sad is it that _Rosalie_ is my favorite person right now?

When I was finally allowed to leave the hospital, I was on twenty-four-hour supervision. Edward took the morning shift because he enjoys making me breakfast. Alice has the late morning shift so she can dress me for the day. She's been much more reasonable since I took scissors to some vintage sweater that she swears was valued at thousands of dollars before I _modified_ it. I still feel bad about throwing my black card at her and telling her to find a new one.

Emmett gets the lunch shift because he's always been interested in food. He asks me how everything tastes. I tell him it tastes like fucking cardboard which makes him laugh. Yeah, Edward has control of the grocery shopping and he's already made two pizza boys cry when they tried to deliver a slightly more desirable lunch. Now the local pizza shop has blacklisted us. I don't know if they'll even let me inside anymore. Jasper gets me in the afternoons so he can calm me down after Emmett riles me up.

Esme has dinner because it makes her feel motherly and Carlisle and I bond over board games after dinner while Edward hovers. Second to lying, Edward is an expert hoverer. And Grandma Marie—she just keeps her distance. She spends most of her time holed up in the guest room on the first floor. Rarely does she come out for so much as a meal. And despite the distance, I still have trouble with her being here. Her very presence reminds me of Charlie and my thoughts wander; but I have to reign them in. I continue on like a zombie and ignore the subject that plagues me every moment of every day, or at least I try to.

Interestingly enough, Rosalie volunteered for the late night shift when Edward hunts. He's been hunting a lot lately out of frustration. I've been praying that he is making the animal's deaths as painful as possible. From the little that Rosalie says, I doubt that he is. This bothers me. The hovering liar is probably dragging out their deaths. _Jerk_.

It's late now and I'm worn out, winning a game of Monopoly against Carlisle. He insisted we play. I can't complain much, he managed to cheat and refused to take advantage of me when I was in a weakened financial state. We laughed and joked, which felt great. I hadn't done that in awhile.

I exit my en-suite bathroom and spot Rosalie sitting at my desk. She's holding my _Freaky Facts_ journal in her lap. I'm feeling empowered after beating Carlisle in a game he's played thousands of times. Even if he let me win, it's a powerful feeling. I cock an eyebrow at her and nod my head towards my journal. My journal which houses my most intimate of thoughts. I pray that she hasn't read it. But there's not much I can do to stop her. We're alone in the house tonight, everyone else is hunting.

"I'm on your side, you know," Rosalie says, shocking me. I literally fall into my bed and gape at her. "Don't think just because I'm talking to you means that I like this." I roll my eyes, something I never had the courage to do before. But that was long before I was dying, before I was saved, before everything… now, she doesn't look so tough.

"So what does it mean?" I ask, annoyed already.

"It means that I'm angry with him, too. I'm angry that he lied to you. I'm angry that he left you. I'm angry that he won't do what is best for you. But most of all, I'm angry that he won't listen to you." I nod at her speech.

"You see," she stands from the chair and makes herself comfortable on my bed, "nobody asked what I wanted, either." My body remains relaxed as opposed to the ingrained fear I had experienced with her closeness for so long. "They all did what they do best. They made choices that they thought were best for me, just like they do with you. Every one of them had my best interest at heart, but none of them consider individual will, choice. None of them respect your right to exercise your will, to make your own choice."

"Wow," I breathe, surprised at her confession. _She gets it._ I take a chance and decide to try to talk to her. "I can't even look at him without wanting to hurt him." Rosalie nods and smiles slightly.

"You know what's awful though?" she asks. I sit up a little straighter and eye her curiously. "You'll forgive him," she whispers. She sounds awed by her words. "He's your mate, so you'll forgive him. He loves you in a way that I don't know that you can comprehend. It's not a matter of your age or species," she snickers, "it's a matter of time. No matter how many centuries you spend by his side, you will never experience that period of loneliness that Edward lived through. You will never know what it's like _before_ your mate. You're only half of yourself and you don't even know it."

Rosalie is honestly beautiful. She's a vampire of course, but that's not always what I find beautiful about her. It's not her flawless skin, her large, golden eyes, or her honey blonde hair that amazes me; it's her honesty. Rosalie is always honest, especially when it's not welcomed. She can be blunt and hurtful, but I'm beginning to see behind the curtain. I'm beginning to see that this is her way of helping. Rosalie helps by being honest when no one else is willing to be. She's honest when it breaks hearts and makes her enemies. She's honest because for her, the worst thing that anybody can be is a liar. And now I understand her. She's lied to me, too, and it's eating her alive. This is her repentance.

"Edward has loved you from the moment you were born. You were mated at birth and you never even knew it. Do you have any idea what a gift that is? That bond that you take for granted; that bond that gives you the strength to push on despite what's going on around you, you defy the odds in every possible way." My eyes sting with tears, but I hold them back knowing that now is not the time to turn into a blubbering mess.

"I nearly destroyed him, you know," Rosalie mutters. My eyes grow wide and I glare at her across the bed from me.

"What!" I shout angrily. She smirks at my outburst and then shakes her head.

"He would do it for me, should anything happen to Emmett. When he asked, I couldn't deny him. I would not force him to walk this earth without you; nor would I force you to exist without him. So do your soul searching, hunt out the truth, come to terms with it, and move on. He'll die protecting you. He'll die defending you. If circumstances don't change soon, he'll die because of you. As his mate, I know that thought shatters you; so do what you have to do and then move on. Make him hear you. Make him listen. Make him take notice. Make him see you as something aside from the fragile little doll that he sees now. Show him your strength, Bella."

With one last, tight smile, she's gone. I had been more obvious about my inner turmoil than I had thought. I thought I was keeping up. I thought I was putting on a decent show. But of course Rosalie saw through it. _Of course._ We're more alike than I would like to admit. Unlike the rest of them, Rosalie has spent the last two weeks observing while everyone else has run around deciding what's best. She knows. She knows that my funk is more than just a mild frustration with the constant company. If she doesn't know specifically what's eating away at me, she at least knows that I'm tired of being lied to; that much I know for certain.

I curl up in my comforter and listens to Rosalie's words repeat in my head. Her words of admonishment, her words of caution, her sincerity; I hear each one until I can no longer focus and I doze off, excitedly awaiting a return to normal life, whatever that may be.

_Show him your strength, Bella._

xxx

At some point in the night, Edward snuck into my bed. The next morning I awake, tucked into him, content to stay that way for all eternity. And then I remember what a lying ass he is and I pull away from him. He closes the distance and curls around me. I push away again and he curls around me again. I'm annoyed.

"Edward," I snap, "hands off." I turn around and cock an eyebrow at him. He looks at the pillow beneath his head. _My pillow. Fucker._ He is boring a hole into it in concentration. I almost feel bad for snapping at him, but then I'm giving him the one thing he never had the decency to give me: honesty. I don't want to be touched by him because every time I am, I feel it in my very core. It's a strange thing, to love and to hate so equally and so deeply. When Edward holds me, I want to scream. I can feel this power within me that doesn't exist physically. I can feel the desire to rip him apart. I can see the hurt in his eyes; and then I can see the love.

Love. We've been mated a few weeks, but this thing I feel for Edward feels timeless. When I look at him, when I hear him, it's as if there is no beginning to my love for him. It's as if it's always been there. I suppose it has.

I'm seventeen years old. I think I'm supposed to be worrying about prom and finals. I think I'm supposed to be gossiping with the girls about the popular kids in school. I think my biggest worries should be whether or not my nail polish clashes with my outfit.

"You don't like nail polish," Edward whispers, still focusing on the pillow. My heart sinks. I don't think I can block him from hearing me now, and that frightens me.

"Edward," I whisper clenching my eyes closed as fresh tears slip down toward my pillow.

"It's okay to want those things, Bella. It's not only okay, it is the way things are supposed to be." He stands up in one fluid motion and walks toward my bedroom door. I cry openly and without fear of looking like a moron. How we got here, to this place that feels like goodbye, I'll never know.

I hear a sniffle and sit up, looking a crying Edward in the eye. He stands at my door, one hand on the knob, ready to leave. Venom tears are pooling in his eyes and then slowly streaming down his cheeks. I cry harder just looking at him. He's leaving, I can feel it. I want to stand up and run to him. I want to tell him to stay. I want to tell him that I love him. I want to forgive him. And there's the crux of the problem. I can't forgive him—not yet, not until I know what I need to forgive him for.

"Sweetheart, you're right. You are so young. You deserve better than I've given you."

"Don't," I whimper. And I feel it again. That love, that hate. So deep in my heart that it's screaming to get out. The betrayal is deep-seeded but so is my respect for him. I'm so angry, so hurt, so upside down. Edward deserves better than what I'm giving him. Even if he is a liar, he didn't do it out of selfishness. Somehow, intuitively, I know that. Everything Edward does is for me. I don't doubt that, but I can't reconcile my warring emotions right now.

"I'm here until you order me away, Bella. I won't push you or rush you. I want for you to have a normal, human life. And if, after everything, you still want me, I'm here, darling." His words are strangled. I shake my head "no" and he looks down.

"Edward," I begin again but he cuts me off.

"No," he pleads, "hear me out." He takes several long steps toward me and stops in the center of the room. "I was the very first person to hold you, and what a gift that was. You were so tiny and delicate that I was terrified I would never get a proper outfit on your fragile little frame. I didn't want to let you go. I still can't let you go entirely. But I need you to know that it's okay if you need space. I want you to grow and mature and I want you to know without a doubt that you don't regret anything when you come back to me."

"I…" I can't form the words, but I know what I need. I know what we need. We need this space, we need this time. I need the truth before I can do _this_ with him. And I just know that he won't tell me the truth nor will he aide me in searching it out. Because he won't help me, we need this space and this time apart. When I come back to him, I want to know exactly who I am and where I come from.

"You don't need to say it, sweetheart. I already know," he says so quietly I almost don't hear him while he taps his temple. He gently drops to his knees, broken but resigned. I rush to him and wrap my arms around his neck. He holds me as we cry. I cry because I wish I didn't want… need this. He cries because he knows we need this. We cry, holding on for dear life because we have nothing left to do. This isn't _goodbye_ after all. This is _I love you_.


	18. Chapter 18

**Bite to Break Skin**

**Chapter Eighteen**

**Bella**

We hold onto one another until it's time to part. Neither one of us says a word we just pull away. He looks dead. For the first time, he looks truly dead, like there is nothing left to exist for. I place my right hand on his cheek and give him a tiny, sniffling smile.

_You have me, Edward. You always will._

He nods his head sadly and leans in, kissing me on the forehead. I choke on my own sorrow but quickly compose myself.

_Show him your strength, Bella._

Once we're both calm, Edward leaves out my sliding glass door. I don't ask why he's chosen to not go through the house. I've asked him to leave, I wouldn't dare attempt to face them, either. I walk to the window and watch him go. He moves slowly, looking nearly human. A few trees block his path and with a pained and infinite strength, he tosses them aside. I don't judge his moody temperament, I just watch.

I now understand the term _mate_. I feel half of my being walking through that forest. I know that wherever he's going, I'm going to be with him. Edward may not believe he has a soul, but I know that to be a falsehood. His is keeping mine company and it will do so for all eternity. Watching him walk away, I become resolute in my plan. I'm going to do exactly as he's asked, exactly as Rosalie's asked. I'm going to take this time for me so that when I'm ready we can move forward. It just doesn't matter how angry I am with him. It just doesn't matter what he's done. Rosalie's right, he's my mate, he is my life. But I need this time to sort things out. His presence is distracting, suffocating even. I can't keep going on without the truth, it's tearing me in two.

I look at the clock and realize that I'm going to be late for school if I don't get a move on it. Alice shouts from the other side of my bedroom door that I don't have to go; but I know that I do. I'm supposed to get on like everything is normal and if I hide in this house with these people, then things are definitely not normal; and the only way I'm going to manage through this is to pretend that everything is normal—no matter how fucked it is. I have to show him my strength. I have to show him that I've tried this human life and that it's not what I want. I have to know who I am, truly, before I can welcome him back. So I dress in a pair of jeans that look worn and aged, but I know they're brand new courtesy of Alice. I throw on a t-shirt and a hoodie. After the spectacle I made the last time I was at school, I am going for super low-key. I also like the hoodie for the privacy it offers. I'm not terribly nervous about the majority of the students, just one.

We file out of the house in silence. Esme hands me a granola bar and a bottle of water on my way out to the car. Carlisle watches from his second-floor office. The thing seems to be that nobody wants to be the one to set me off. Nobody wants to be the one to start the waterworks. I get it. I respect it, but I don't trust it. Someone is bound to break eventually and that's why I'm sticking close to Rosalie; she won't push. None of this is normal. My parents don't avoid me. If anything, they smother. How in the hell am I supposed to carry on as though everything is normal if they can't even fake it?

I climb into the front passenger seat just as Rosalie starts the car and we zoom down the long driveway. In the distance, I see Emmett's Jeep following at a much slower pace. We drive the few short miles to school in complete silence. I keep staring off to the woods on the side of the highway. The trees are still and I can't hear a single movement. I have a passing thought that were I a vampire right now, I would hear the sounds of thousands of tiny creatures as they move through the forest; but I try to block that thought from continuing on. I have to deal with one disappointment at a time.

Despite the stillness, despite my best efforts to avoid it; I can't help but feel that Edward is watching us. I can feel him; sense him, in the trees. Perhaps, despite being human, this is part of being a mated pair—knowing when he's present, _knowing him._ I pull a sad smile to my face as I watch the trees pass. I need him to know that I'm okay and going on with my daily life is the only way I have left to do that.

Rosalie effortlessly swings the BMW into the crowded Forks High School parking lot, and settling on a space far away from the main building. I look at her, wondering if she parked this far away on purpose. Her tight smile tells me that she did. I choose not to argue, it would be fruitless, after all. I exit the car, leaving Rosalie behind to wait for Emmett. I'm already enough of a freak, both figuratively and literally, I don't need to be accompanied by my perfect siblings.

The students who crowd the lot do a decent job of convincing me that they're not all talking about me, even though I know that's a lie. I'm the girl who freaked out in school and had to be rushed home and then to the hospital. Just as I enter the main building, I see Jessica and Angela at their lockers, talking quietly but enthusiastically.

"Bella!" Jessica shouts, surprising me. I give her my best smile, which is really pathetic right now and walk toward them. "How are you feeling?" she asks with concern dripping from every word. The thing about people is that once you figure them out, it isn't too difficult to discern who's being genuine and who's being fake. Jessica is being fake. She's _too_ concerned, she's too interested. I nod and give her a small smile.

"Fine, thanks," I say, hoping she gets the hint that this isn't going to be some big, girly catch-up time. Normally, I'd be yearning for this. But now, things are different. I mean, it's not like we're the best of friends anyway. I've talked to these girls only once before. Angela smiles apologetically, like she knows what's coming.

"So what happened anyway?" Jessica asks, her head bobbing around mind in frantic search, "and where's your brother?" I suck in a deep breath, absorbing the pain that radiates off my body. I can't tell if Jessica has ever been a friend to anybody or if she's just too naïve and ignorant to realize how big of a jackass she sounds like right now. Then again, I could be a little sensitive.

"Oh, his grandma is sick again. He had to go back to Chicago," I nod my head. Jessica's face falls in disappointment. I know how she feels—sort of, I guess. I do my best to drown out her obnoxious questions and casual comments about Edward. She wants to know what he likes, what he is like and _like, does he have a girlfriend._ I half wish that I was still all vampy and shit so I could break her ribs or something. Maybe not her ribs, that seems too mean. Maybe a pinky would be kinder.

Not a moment too soon, Lauren Mallory calls for Jessica. I turn to see Lauren eyeing my warily. I'm giving her the stink eye. I don't care what's happened between now and the last time I was here—I haven't fucking forgotten her stupid, slutty hands on my Edward.

_My Edward._

Jessica excuses herself and rush off to talk to Lauren. I can't hear a thing they're saying which is probably a good thing. I feel like I'm about to burst into tears at the thought of Edward. He was devastated this morning. I push my pain aside and focus on Rosalie's words.

_Show him your strength, Bella._

I know that this is important, necessary even; but it doesn't make it any easier. If I'm ever to get through this, I'm going to have to start sucking it up and dealing pretty soon. It won't get any easier with time, I know that. But right now, I feel like I'm just going through the motions doing my best to get through the day.

Angela is standing beside me in silence. She's busying herself by casually poking through her agenda, trying to appear engrossed in her day's routine. I watch her for a moment before she looks up and smiles at me sadly. I return her smile with the most pathetic smile I think I've ever mustered.

"Look," Angela says in a low, gentle voice, "I don't know what happened and I'm not going to ask. All I know is that the day you got sick there were all these rumors about you and your adopted brother and a bunch of other stuff." _Oh God._ I don't want to hear this, I'm sure of it. But then, she surprises me.

"And today he's not here and you look like you've lost the most important thing to you—ever." Normally, I'd be giddy over having a human friend. _Normally._ I shake my head. _Normally_ I wouldn't have a human friend at all. The idea that the word normal is even in my vocabulary is a fucking joke.

I look away, unprepared to tell her that I _have_ lost the most important thing to me ever; but not only that, I pushed him away. I did it to myself. I can't say that I'd give anything to have him back, because I asked for this. I wanted this. I needed this. But none of that makes this any better, it doesn't make it any more normal.

"So just tell me what to do. I know we don't really know each other but I get the distinct impression that you need a friend. And Jessica," she pauses and points her thumb at Jessica and Lauren who are mirror images of Angela and I—huddled together sharing little secrets; "is not the kind of friend you need right now." I nod and give Angela a slightly less pathetic smile than the last time.

"Thanks," I say and pull her in for a hug. I don't know what compels me to hug this girl, but I can't help myself. I've never been very close to human kids, let alone had a confidant in one. This is all new to me. I yearned for this for so long. To have a friend who actually sleeps, who has a beating heart. A friend who cries at silly chick flicks and someone who is my age; I mean, really my age. Someone who doesn't have a century's worth of knowledge and someone who I can talk to about boys. Or Edward. I need to talk to someone who _might_ get it; someone who is normal, someone who, by proxy, might make me normal, too.

I drift into mine and Edward's conversation from this morning. _You don't like nail polish._ Standing here with Angela, I understand Edward's plight. He wants me to have this time. He wants me to worry about prom and snotty cheerleaders and nail polish. He wants me to be able to be normal. Part of me wants this, too. Part of me wants to take a break from the extraordinary and bask in the glow of the summer sun (assuming we have any here) and to shop and go for coffee and to talk and laugh and giggle with the girls over who did what with whom and when. Part of me wants to live with Grandma Marie again; in a completely human household with completely normal and human issues.

_Normal._

_ Ordinary._

_ Human._

But I'm not completely normal or completely human regardless of how this procedure takes. I can't just forget the first sixteen years of my life. I can't just forget my dreams and memories. I can't ignore what I feel for Edward. He's a part of me, half of me even. And as angry as I am with him right now, I don't _want_ to erase him or the rest of the Cullens from my life.

"Isabella Cullen," my head snaps up and I'm met with our principal, Mr. Weltz. He's wearing his usual dress slacks and striped, multi-colored button-up, no tie. He smiles gently. "How are you doing?"

I nod. "Fine. Thanks," I say. I want to tell him I'm just fucking dandy, and no thanks for asking, but that wouldn't be normal.

"Let me know if you need anything Ms. Cullen."

_Cullen. I'm a Cullen, too._

It's normal, everyday, and common to be referred to as a Cullen. It's been years since I had to make the adjustment from Swan to Cullen. I _am_ a Cullen, but today it doesn't feel right. I can't even remember the last time I was tripped up by being called a Cullen. I'm just not coping today; but I can't ask to be called Swan. I'm way too exhausted to even continue the thought.

Principal Weltz walks off as though it's just another day and everything is normal. I'm finding it impossible to realize that for the humans that it _is_ just another day and everything is normal. But for me, everything is so fucking far from normal I don't even know the way back to it.

I look at Angela and she gives me this sort of sad smile. It's like she knows what the hell is going on in my head, but it doesn't freak me out. She's a teenage girl, too. Surely she and I are not so different that she wouldn't have a clue as to the difficulties of returning to school after a medical leave.

"You know," Angela begins, "your dad is like Mr. Big Shot around town. You could probably get out of going to school if all this is too much." She smiles and I laugh a little too loudly, drawing attention to myself. _Not the thing I want to do._

"Yeah frickin' right, Angela." I smile broadly at her. She smiles back and this time it's a real smile. Not a "Sorry your life sucks" smile, but a genuinely happy one. "Let me explain to you what it means to be a Cullen…" Not that I really know. I don't feel much like a Cullen today. Everybody else is in on something that I'm not supposed to be privy to. I take Angela by the arm just as the bell rings and as we walk to class, I fill her in on the constant doting that is driving me nuts. I think I'm doing this right, this being normal thing; being a girl and chatting and sharing histories. If I'm not doing it right, Angela hasn't given me much indication as to such.

On the way we pass Jasper and Alice. Alice gives me a look of sympathy and Jasper high fives me; except he's so tall and holds his hand so high that I have to jump. He laughs and they continue on in the opposite direction. I giggle at my brother. Despite everything, he stills makes me laugh. Jasper always knows how to calm me. And that's when I know that I'm going to be okay for today at least. I smile at Angela and begin to tell her all about my crazy family on the way to our shared English class. Well, not all, but the stuff that sounds human-y. I know that part of the reason I'm telling her all of this is to remind me that they _are_ my family and that I do love them. I'm in desperate need of reminding myself that I'm a part of them because today, I feel more alone than ever before.

xxx

The day continues on and with sideways glances and idle chatter, I'm distracted enough to not think about the way Edward looked when he left. I have a sibling in each class—or at least I'm supposed to. I choke up in the courses I share with Edward when I'm asked where he is. I want to cry and scream at my teachers for being insensitive but that would only further solidify me as the crazy girl from the crazy perfect family. I have enough of a rep as it is, I don't need to make it worse.

I sit with my siblings at lunch, barely touching the lunch Edward had made for me. There's a note inside reminding me that I'm recovering from surgery and that junk food would not be wise. He wants me healthy and that means flavorless food. I think of the last time he made me a packed lunch for school and the fit I threw. I wiggle in my seat, feeling the still somewhat bent steel beneath me. I look down and focus intently on the note and his handwriting. It's perfect, not that I had expected anything less. I can feel all of _their_ eyes on me but I don't look up. I don't need to see the pity in their eyes; as it is, I can feel it in their stares. I'm doing my best not to feel anything, to coast by on autopilot.

Lunch passes, like everything, moving both quickly and torturously slow. We sit in silence, each of us aching to speak, afraid to speak, dying to get past this. Or maybe it's just me who's dying. They're all already dead.

The bell rings and I rush off to class. Biology. With Mike. On the plus side, I know Angela is in this class, so that calms my nerves just slightly. That and Jasper and his mood control. Poor guy has been working overtime today. I walk into class as its first occupant. Mr. Banner follows a moment later and gives me the standard Q&A and catch-up. He's careful to tell me, numerous times, that if I need anything I should tell him. I swear, I'm fine. The only thing that's bothering me right now are the incessant questions asking me if I'm fine. For the second time today I wish that I still had my hybrid strength and I could rip off somebody's pinkie. It doesn't help that Mr. Banner asks where my partner, Edward, is. I give him the same story I give everyone else and hope he doesn't ask again. I don't think I can take it.

The class fills up and Mike walks in, looking human as ever. I stare at him, mouth agape, wondering how in the ever living fuck that is possible. He gives me a cautious smile that doesn't reach his eyes and sits beside me. On Edward's first day, Mike was sent back to his original seat as Mr. Banner is a stickler for alphabetical seating arrangements; but now that Edward isn't here, again, he reclaims his seat.

"Bella," Mike regards me cautiously. "I haven't seen Edward today," he says nervously. I nod my head and shrug my shoulders.

"Grandma in Chicago," I say, hoping he understands. I struggle with my words. He lifts his brows.

"_Grandma_," he says, "right." Something passes between us, an understanding of sorts. Edward is off doing something vampiric. Mike seems to have caught on. It's not like we can discuss this in a crowded room. "So, I think we should get started on that project after school."

I stare at him dumbly before it finally registers. _That project._ He wants to discuss the conversation we had that was cut short just a few weeks ago. _Our father._ Right. Again, I'm split in two. Part of me wants to run and hide and pretend that was all a bad dream. The other part of me knows this is inevitable. Necessary.

"Yeah. Okay," I say.

"Would you like to come to my house?" Mike asks, his eyes imploring me. My eyes well up with tears as I begin to make connections between the truths and lies that I've been told. He doesn't live with his reclusive grandfather, I'm sure of it. I begin to panic and Mike places a very cold, hard hand over mine. I gulp at his touch and look up to his eyes to find them darkening right before me. I pull away, horrified at how easily he shifts between human and vampire. My own shift had never been so seemless and I wonder if there's a difference between females and males. When I'm speaking to Carlisle again, I'll have to ask him.

"You don't live with your grandfather, do you?" I whisper-shout at him. I check the front of the room to find that Mr. Banner is scribbling nonsense about genetics on the chalk board. _Fucking perfect._ Genetics, the topic couldn't be more fitting.

Mike shakes his head, looking embarrassed and apologetic. His eyes slowly return to their baby blue. He makes being a hybrid look easy. Not so much like a death sentence. And I wonder why _me_. I don't particularly care for the answer but I want to scream _why me_ at the top of my lungs. I've been sick for most of my life and here Mike sits, afflicted with the same genetic issue that I had… or have. I don't even fucking know. And he makes it look like it's fucking simple and natural and just who he is. Meanwhile, I had to undergo a surgery just so I could keep on fucking living. Once again, life is not fair. I feel like crying. No wonder I never got into dances and nail polish—I don't have the fucking time after all of this death business. Fuck.

"I know this feels sudden, Bella, but it's been two weeks since we talked." His words are friendly, not accusatory at all; but there's urgency to his message. _We're wasting time;_ his opinion, not mine. I was recovering from surgery and being watched like I carry the Bubonic Plague or something equally as scary. I feel like slapping him and saying "you try being in my shoes!" The look I'm giving him must be enough of a message because he backs off just slightly.

"I know," I mutter, "but I need time." I sound like a broken record.

_Edward's in Chicago visiting his grandmother._

_I'm fine, thanks for asking._

_Yes, I believe I can keep up despite the missed assignments._

_I'm fine._

_I need time._

_I need space._

_I'm fine._

_That's so thoughtful of you._

_Yes, my _brother_ has a girlfriend, and she has quite the temper._

I don't know if I'll ever be able to get back to being my old self when everyone is so quick to remind me of what's happened. Nevermind the fact that I feel tired and drained and like I need a fucking nap.

"There isn't much time," Mike whispers just as Mr. Banner is finally ready to begin class. My stomach sinks letting his words settle. I had figured as much but hearing it from Mike himself reminds me of my own struggles. Perhaps I judged Mike too soon. Perhaps he's only in the beginning stages, and if that's the case, he's going to be in some real trouble very soon.

I know that I'm not ready to go to Mike's house. The reality of who likely lives there with Mike frightens me. I absolutely cannot deal with that right now. I need to talk to Mike first. I need to hear Mike's side of the story—or whatever he's been told. From there I can compile my own evidence and find the truth that is sure to fall somewhere in between.

I grab my notebook and try my hardest to be silent as I rip a piece from the corner of a page. I quickly scribble on the tiny piece and shove it at Mike.

_Woods behind campus. Right after gym._

_Come alone._

_B_


	19. Chapter 19

**Bite to Break Skin**

**Chapter Nineteen**

**Bella**

Gym isn't horrible today because I'm on medical leave. We've moved on from volleyball to badminton. This sort of sucks because I can't do too much damage with a birdy and we were allowed to pick our own partners; for the first time in forever, I actually wanted to play. Before Coach Clapp had benched me, Jasper and I had teamed up. But that traitorous jerk was all too willing to make me sit out at Coach Clapp's suggestion. Jasper even got a little bossy with the guy when he suggested that I should be well enough to resume participation by the end of the week; to which Jasper told him that he would consult my father, who is also my doctor.

When I got benched, Tyler offered to be Jasper's partner which made me smile. I really do like seeing Jasper be capable of socialization with humans. When I first met him he couldn't even come near me and now the guy smothers me. Okay, so I'm being dramatic.

Coach Clapp approaches me, clipboard in hand and whistle around his neck. His voice is rough from years of yelling and he doesn't have much in the way of charisma but he's an overall nice guy. I tear my head out of my book titled "Human Genetics: A Student Guide" which I have artfully covered in brown paper and doodled hearts all over and written "A Girl's Guide to Boy Language." I figure that nobody is going to question my reading choices this way. I'll just tell the family that I've spent so much time around vampires that I don't have basic conversational skills when I'm around other _human_ teenagers. Yeah, that sounds good.

"Miss Cullen," he says, clearing his throat, "how ya feeling?"

"I'm doing well, thanks," I say, giving him a tired smile.

"You know your sister is transferring to this class starting tomorrow," he shoots out and rubs the back of his neck. _No, I hadn't known that._ "I hear you're something of the baby of the family. I just want to let you know that just because there will be three of you in my period doesn't mean I'm going to allow for any special treatment. I know how siblings can be." He shoots a look at Jasper, a nod to their earlier conversation.

"Alice is joining our class?" I beam with excitement. He looks down at his clipboard and shakes his head, ruining my afternoon.

"No, says a Rosalie Hale."

"Crap," the word flies out of my mouth before I can stop it. I look at Coach Clapp with wide, apologetic eyes. He lets out a laugh that he attempts to mask with a cough. He doesn't seem to mind my outburst enough to reprimand me, so I go for broke. "You don't have to worry about special treatment then," I say, "Rosalie and I are not exactly the best of friends. She'd just as soon run me over with her car if she could get away with it." I smile brightly and giggle when I hear Jasper snort his amusement from across the gymnasium. I think I've scared my teacher. He raises his eyebrows, mutters something I can't hear and walks away jotting something down on his clipboard. With any luck it'll be instructions to keep Rose and I separate.

Coach Clapp dismisses the class all too soon. I mark my place in my book and shuffle with the rest of the class to our gender-designated locker rooms. I do the best that I can to stop myself from thinking about what I'm about to do. I did well to ignore Mike's existence throughout class but I can't ignore it anymore. I have a plan which needs to be put into place.

After quickly changing and shoving my gym clothes into my locker, I make my way across the locker room to Angela, which is there and thankfully alone.

"Hey," my eyes dart around the room, checking for busybodies. Angela smiles and greets me. We spend a few moments talking about the day before I ask her for a totally inappropriate and pretty big favor.

"I really need to ask a favor of you and by really I mean, like, it's sort of a matter of life and death," I whisper, leaning in close to her ear. She studies me, wondering why I'm whispering when it seems no one is around or listening. I can't very well tell her that my vampire siblings will hear me and completely blow my plan if I talk any louder. I'm risking the entire plan by saying it aloud to begin with.

"Look, I'm not stupid. I know what girls here think of my brothers and if they think they know anything that will get them in good with one of them… well, they'd tell in a hot minute." I nod my head and Angela mimics me in agreement. "So, I can't have anyone else know. I told this guy I'd meet him after school. Totally just friends, but my siblings are all weird about me and boys. My brothers _totally_ won't deal if they know I want to hang out with a boy." Angela nods, so far, she gets it. I knew I liked her.

"So," she whispers back, "what about Edward?"

_Damn it. Lie, Bella. Lie quickly!_

"I told you, just friends. But that's why they'll freak if I even suggest I'm hanging out with another guy." Angela nods again.

"I get it," she says, "what do I need to do?" And in this moment I decide that I love this girl. We are totally going to have to go shopping for nail polish one day. I fill her in as quickly as possible and we hurry out of the locker room so as to not be too suspicious.

Jasper is waiting for us outside of the locker room eyeing me warily. He's picking up on my nervousness. I don't say a word about why Angela is walking with us. We just walk in silence, the three of us. At the front of the school in the student parking lot, we meet up with Alice and Emmett and Rose.

"Oh, Bella," Alice smiles sweetly, "are we having company?"

"Actually, Em," I look at Emmett giving him my own sweet smile, "Angela and I were going to hang out at the library for a while. Can I borrow your Jeep?"

Everyone is silent. Angela is so nervous that she looks like she's going to pass out. Thankfully most humans are nervous around vampires because otherwise she'd be super obvious. I make a mental note that the girl can't lie for shit. Emmett looks like I have three heads and then looks at Alice questioningly. Angela watches as Rose and Jasper then turn their attention to Alice as well. I'm so screwed. Alice is scanning my future to see if she finds the afternoon's activities to be acceptable or not.

"I'll let mom and dad know," Alice finally decides and gives me a fake smile. I mean, her smile looks real but I can tell the difference. She knows something but she's not going to bust me for it. I leap forward and give her a big hug, thanking her.

"Sheesh," Rose scoffs, "you're acting like you've never had a friend before." I pull away from Alice and give her my best bitch brow that says "really?" because she knows damn well that aside from Liz in Kindergarten, I haven't had a friend before. Vampires don't count.

"Be home by six for dinner," Alice says, "mom would hate to have to _hunt_ you down." I swiftly promise her that I'll be home and Emmett hands me his keys. I give him a quick fist bump and hurry off with Angela.

"That was weird," Angela quips as we walk back inside the school toward our lockers.

"Rosalie?" I ask, "she's always like that."

"No, your sister, Alice," Angela says, confusion evident in her voice. "Your brothers and sister like stood there staring at her while she spaced out or something. It was weird. Is she the oldest? She looks like the decision-maker of the group."

_Is she the oldest?_ I mull over their respective ages. Jasper's the eldest, actually. I can't tell her that as our constructed history has Rosalie being Jasper's older sister. Again, I realize why my brain has no room to care about nail polish. I'm too busy keeping all of their lies straight. So many lies.

"Emmett's the oldest but he's a man-child. Alice is just the bossiest," I smile at Angela as we peer out the doors and watch Rosalie's BMW drive away.

_Note to self: Bring Cupcake tomorrow._ I can barely drive the Jeep. I'm just too short which is one of the many reasons that Alice rarely ever drives a vehicle.

Once the car is completely out of sight I thank Angela profusely and wait beside my locker until she's out the doors and climbing into her late model Toyota Corolla. Noting that I'm alone, I rush through the halls and exit the building with only one thing on my mind: finding out as much as I possibly can from Mike.

I make it to the woods behind the school without incident only slowing when the large tree roots underfoot get too large and too many to easily navigate at high speeds. Well, you know, high speeds for _human_ Bella. I climb over fallen tree trunks and other various carnage of the woodland variety and wonder if Edward has been here or if this was, perhaps, by natural causes. I'm engulfed by the thick redwoods and the moss that grows on everything. It feels damp here, ominous.

"Bella," Mike's voice coming from behind me sends me into shock and I let out a scream; but before a peep can come out Mike's hand is on my mouth silencing me. His grip is tight, just enough to be uncomfortable. I didn't sense him beside me, nor did I see him approach, but there he is. If I didn't know any better, I would think I'm imagining things. But I do know better. I know it's his vampire speed that keeps me from sensing his approach.

"I didn't mean to startle you, but you can't scream," he says. I nod my head and he releases my mouth. I flex my jaw. It won't bruise, thankfully.

"Jesus, Mike," I step back and check his eyes. They're baby blue, thank God. It sort of freaks me out when they turn black. He seems more vampy then and I don't really know what to expect.

"I'll tell you what I know if you tell me what you know," he says, cutting to the bone of it.

"You're really not one for small talk today," I joke, but it falls flat. He's as nervous about this meeting as I am. I look around and find a dry enough fallen tree trunk to sit on. Mike moves slowly and sits on the other end. He's deep in thought. We sit there for nearly ten minutes before I break the silence.

"I don't really know anything. I didn't even know about hybrids much less that I was one until like a month ago," I blurt out and feel a large weight lifted from my shoulders. The talk has finally begun. The talk that has had my insides in a mess for weeks. The talk I've dreaded and anticipated. The talk that I know is going to change my life. I've had a lot of those lately. I sigh.

"A month? You can't be serious, Bella. How did you not know?"

_Oh man._ Mike is going to have to change his strategy if he wants this conversation to get anywhere. Treating me like I'm an idiot is not going to make this any easier on me nor will it make me any more forthcoming.

"Yes," I snap. He mutters an apology and goes back to being silent. "They don't want me to know much because they wiggle out of giving me any answers. That's why it's so important that you tell me what's going on, Mike." My eyes fill with tears and spill down my cheeks. I'm emotionally and physically spent but this is too important for me to take a rein check on.

"Okay," taking a few deep breaths, Mike prepares himself. "So I _did_ live with my grandfather for a long time. Okay, so not _my_ grandfather, but the guy who raised me. I was homeschooled because I was sick. Only a few years ago I started having trouble. Things started changing." His story sounds so similar. It sounds identical to mine.

"It's called puberty, Mike," I try to lighten the mood, if that's even possible. Mike cracks a shy smile and looks at his feet as he kicks around the dirt beneath his shoes.

"Yeah, well, that, too," he mutters shyly. "But like it was more than that. I'd go outside to mow the lawn and the lawnmower didn't feel heavy and each time I went to mow the lawn, the mower felt lighter and I'd get it done quicker. I was stronger and faster and… smarter." I remember the e-mail that he's sent me complete with grammatical errors, spelling mistakes, and awful text-speak.

"I know what you're thinking," he laughs and I freeze up. _Oh, please don't be a mind reader. Please. _"I don't come across as particularly articulate or intelligent. It's just easier to fit in when I act and sound like an idiot." I bark out a loud laugh, finding genuine enjoyment in that. For the first time since we've met, he sounds intelligent and his words flow off his tongue. Gone is the fumbling and bumbling that initially drew me to him.

"So one day grandpa tells me that a friend is going to come visit. And this guy shows up. He has blond hair, darker than mine, and blue eyes, also darker than mine; but it's like looking in a mirror. I freaked out pretty bad when he told me he was my dad. It got even worse when he told me he was a vampire."

I try to remain objective and to not totally fall into believing every word that spills from his mouth, but it's tough. He sounds genuine; his story is much like mine in parts to make me believe. And I can't come up with a single reason for him to lie to me.

We share our experiences with our abilities, or in my case, lack thereof. Mike reveals that he's had a few health scares of his own but that they have so far been minor. Still, he fears for his future. And then he drops a bomb on me.

"I've always known I had a sister out there," he broaches the topic of our apparent shared parentage. I gulp, unsure as to whether or not I'm ready to hear this, but he continues on regardless. "I knew it was you when I met you. I wanted to talk to you, but how do you broach such a subject? Dad says he's excited to meet you, but he promises not to push." And my head explodes.

I sit there, dumbly, for several minutes before I can speak. "Please," I whisper, "go on."

"_I need to hear this,"_ I chant to myself again and again, hoping that my breathing will regulate and I don't have a total meltdown. Mike gives me time to calm myself. _He knows about me. He wants to meet me._ If this mysterious man with blond hair and blue eyes is my biological father then I want to meet him. I want to be wanted by him. I've always been a daddy's girl. I can't imagine my father disliking me. I was the center of Charlie's world just like I am Carlisle's.

"After I calmed down and sort of accepted that he was telling the truth; he told me that I have a sister. He said that he loved your mom but that she died during childbirth and the Cullens took you away." I have a million questions that I want answered. Why didn't he take me back? How did I end up with the Swans? Why am I just hearing about him now and why did he come to Mike and not me? A horrible, shallow thought occurs to me. Maybe my father wanted a boy. _His male heir_. Rationally, I realize that not being the favorite should not be anywhere on my radar right now, but I can't help it. I'm always the favorite. I don't know how to play second fiddle.

"Why did he pick you?" my tone is harsh and I sound like the biggest brat on Earth. Another realization comes to me. _I'm a spoiled brat. I'm just like Rosalie._ I bury my face in my hands and hang my head in shame. Here I am hearing about my biological father for the first time and the most pressing thought in my head is not being the favorite. _I'm horrible. I need therapy._ It's a good thing I'm rich, I can afford it.

"Oh my God!" I shout, tears roll down my face as I panic. Mike's concerned face appraises mine. I look to him, horrified. "I'm spoiled. I'm fucking spoiled. Oh my God. How did I not see this sooner? How!" I cry into my hands. Mike remains silent while I deal with this revelation. _I'm a spoiled princess. I'm just like Rose!_ I cry harder, unable to pull myself together.

Fifteen minutes later and I've calmed down considerably. "Well," I say and smile at Mike through red eyes, "let's forget about that. Shall we?" Mike nods, baffled and at a loss for words. _Oh man, this is embarrassing._

"I was trying to ask why he, our father, came to you and not to me," I say, pushing all thoughts of favoritism and jealousy aside.

"Are you really asking that?" Mike laughs, somewhat lightened after my outburst. "You live with seven vampires, Bella. What do you suggest, he march up to your front door and take on the entire Cullen clan? They weren't going to let you go with him." I don't know how custodial agreements work with humans much less vampires. I can't wrap my head around the possibilities so I just take Mike's words at face value.

"What's his name?" I ask, feeling a little breathless.

"James,' Mike says.

"Last name?" I enquire.

"He says he knows he had one as a human, but that was over a century ago. He just goes by James now." I sigh.

"So, I don't really have a last name, then?" I'm more than a little confused.

"Bella, you are now and always have been a Swan-Cullen. This doesn't change that."

I absorb his words, agreeing with him. Nothing can take that from me. But one thing sticks out to me. I've never discussed Charlie or Marie with anyone outside of the family and I don't go by Swan-Cullen publicly. Carlisle says that would draw the attention of the Volturi, which I definitely do not want. He says that his hand would be forced and they would have to change me immediately should the Volturi find out that a human is so entwined with a vampire coven. This raises another question: what is the Volturi's stance on hybrids?

"How did you know my full name?" I'm scared that I made a mistake in trusting Mike. I can feel it in my gut, I've made a mistake.

"How do you think you ended up with the Swans? James told me that he and Charlie Swan were good friends. Said he couldn't think of a better man to raise you." I gasp and happy tears flood my sore eyes. I'm feeling a little naïve and the nervousness I felt over trusting Mike continues to stir in my stomach.

"Charlie?" I ask, hope filling my heart. I'll crawl up a mountain to hear just one story about Charlie. I miss him terribly, even after all this time. The idea that this James, the man who fathered me, knew Charlie makes me feel much better about sharing all of this with Mike.

"Dad wants to tell you about Charlie. He says he has some things of Charlie's that he'd like to give you," Mike offers quickly. Almost too quickly. I've spent years grasping at tiny straws for stories about Charlie. Just anything so that I could talk about him, hear about him, but now I'm hesitant to take this step. Meeting James only pulls me further from my old life, further from Edward and the Cullens.

This feels like a choice that won't be able to be rectified. This feels like a test of my love and loyalty to the Cullens. I can't put my finger on it but something feels off. Only, I have the nagging feeling that I'm going to have to take this leap regardless. I've set myself on a track that I can't turn back from, no matter how bad I may want to.

I know what I need to do, who I need to talk to.

_Rose._


	20. Chapter 20

**Bite to Break Skin**

**Chapter Twenty**

**Bella**

Mike and I grow silent. There's nothing left to be said at this point. He's pushing me to take a step that I just… can't yet, and it's causing me to question my trust in him. Maybe I'm being unfair. Maybe he's just excited. _Maybe_. The thing with "maybe" is that there is no resolution with maybe.

I leave Mike in the woods without another word. The entire thing feels very anti-climactic. I don't know what I had expected to be different after finding out; but I sure thought _something_ would be different. I'm still the same me and I don't understand it.

I make my way back to the house in Emmett's Jeep, which unfortunately, has a few scratches in the side now. I'm not the best driver, I'll admit it. Instead of parking in Emmett's normal spot in front of the house, I park the Jeep in the garage. This way, I buy myself some time before anyone can see the damage. It's not much; just a headlight, the back bumper, some scratches down the passenger side and a dent in the front driver's side rim. I had been crying so hard that I hit a mailbox, scraped some bushes, and backed into a tree all in the four mile drive home. Emmett's Jeep looks how I feel—beaten up. I just count my blessing that I hadn't been driving Rose's BMW—not that she would have lent it to me anyway.

I walk in the front door, hang up Emmett's keys on the designated hook, and drop my backpack on the floor. Carlisle and Esme poke their head out from the kitchen and smile pleasantly.

"Bella," Esme approaches and hugs me, guiding me into the kitchen. I give her a forced smile in return. I really wish that we could skip the bullshit happy family routine right now. We should all be saying what we really feel. Esme guides me into a barstool at the kitchen island.

"How was school, darling?" Carlisle asks and leans over, placing a fatherly kiss on my head. I want to roll my eyes over his _fatherly_ concern but I don't. Neither Carlisle nor Esme deserve my rage. They are amazing parents. Always have been and always will be.

"It was okay," I say.

"Did you enjoy your afternoon with your friend?" Esme asks. I tell her that I did but she isn't buying it.

"Is there something bothering you that you'd like to talk about, Bella?" Carlisle asks as he places his cool hand over mine. Instinctively, I yank my hand out from beneath his, frustrated. But unlike the many times that I've been asked how I'm doing and I haven't been able to be truthful, this time I can.

"Yes, there's something bothering me!" I yell, tears welling up in my eyes. The background noises stop and the entire house is silent. "You all tell me what to eat and what to wear and how to feel, and you don't leave me alone for a single moment! And worst of all is that _nobody, not a single one of you,_ asked me if I even _wanted_ to be human!" I'm crying _again_. This makes for the third time today; first with Edward and second with Mike and now with my parents. My eyes are so sore and swollen. I must look pathetic. And I'm so tired. My body has yet to bounce back from surgery.

"Bella," Carlisle says, his voice almost soothing, "the choice is yours to make. If you want to be changed, you will be. That has not been taken from you." I soften just slightly. I look at my hands in my lap and start bawling. Esme hugs me from one side and Carlisle from the other.

I've been keeping this Mike business in for two weeks, two very long weeks and it's tearing me apart. This secret is breaking me and destroying my relationships. I've already sent Edward away over this. Something has to give, but I'm not ready to come clean just yet. I do need to clear a few things up. Slowly, I calm down and offer my apologies for snapping at them and rush out of the room.

I want to clean myself up but I know that if I don't go to Rose now that I'll lose my nerve. I rush up the stairs and beeline towards her room before I can change my mind.

"Rose," I speak softly as I knock on her and Emmett's bedroom door. She opens it without hesitation and stands there without so much as raising an eyebrow; her face is blank. "We need to talk," I say with more force and invite myself in, careful to squeeze past her without contact.

"Well, come on in, Bella," she huffs. I make myself comfortable at the foot of her and Emmett's bed. I have it on good authority that their bed is one of the safest surfaces in their room. Rosalie Hale McCarty may look like one uptight broad (Emmett's words, not mine), but she's a very creative lover. The very thought makes me shudder.

"Look," I begin, hoping she'll let me get this all out at once. "You're the most honest person I know. So I don't have much of a choice here. I need some answers." I blabber it all out and wait for her response. She doesn't grant me one right away. Without taking her eyes off mine she walks to her enormous vanity and sits on the pink satin chair, looking the picture of perfection.

"Fair enough," she says and motions with her hand that I'm to continue.

"Tell me about my birth," I ask.

"I wasn't there. Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme and I were out hunting. We thought we'd return in time for Carlisle to deliver you. Edward and Alice stayed behind with your mother. We didn't make it back until after you were born. We walked in to find Edward huddled in one corner with you and Alice in the other. He mated the moment you were born, Bella. He couldn't tear himself away."

"But he did," I interject; slightly awed by the story she paints for me. I truly have been Edward's every moment of my life and he has been mine.

"He was too attached. You wouldn't have been free to make your own choices had he stayed."

"He would have controlled me?" I ask, not liking where this is going.

"No," she smiles sadly, "being mated would have controlled you. You were a child, Bella. Edward wanted you to have friends, to go to school, to have even the tiniest bit of normalcy." I nod, understanding that. Just this morning I was in a fit over nail polish because it seems to me that it's something I should care about. And Edward's right, I don't even like nail polish.

"He doesn't want me to be a vampire," I say. I'm just about done asking questions, now I just need clarification.

"No he doesn't, and frankly neither do I. The difference between me and my idiot brother is that I'm not under the delusion that we have a choice. You were born a hybrid and you're going to die a hybrid, one way or another. What happened with Marie was just the tip of the iceberg. I don't wish this… life on you. But I'd rather see you be changed than destroyed." I gulp audibly. I wanted honesty. I can't crumble under the weight of the truth now.

"How did Charlie and Renee meet?" I feel her out. She raises an eyebrow and scoffs.

"You already know the answer to that Bella," she says. I shake my head no. She looks annoyed. "Yes you do. Just follow your gut." And that's the last thing I want to hear. My instincts seem to be failing me at this point. She points up to the ceiling and silently mouths "attic." I nod and thank her. Standing from her bed, I realize that I have one last question.

"Why don't you like me?" I ask, flustered. She laughs. _Rosalie fucking laughs._

"You're too weak. If you're going to get through this, you're going to have to toughen up. You cry too much, get everything you want, and quite frankly, I'm tired of my life revolving around yours." I feel like I've been slapped. There is no possible way to describe how much that hurts. I want to cry but she called me weak and the last thing that I want to do is to prove her right. I'm done fearing her.

"And you're a jerk with the communication skills of a gerbil!" I snap. God, my comeback even sounds bratty. _So mature, Bella._ My emotions are going to pour out one way or another and I swear, if I cry right now, I'm going to run away.

"Like I said, you need to toughen up. You don't see it yet, but this is the beginning of an uphill battle for you."

"I am doing the absolute best that I can, so step down off your high horse for just a moment. I am dealing with way more than you ever have so don't you dare act superior to me; and if you don't want your life to revolve around mine, then leave!" I'm so angry I'm seething. Expecting to be decapitated any moment, I'm surprised by the Cheshire cat smile on her face.

"And there it is," she nods, a hint of pride in her voice. "I've been waiting years for you to do that." _What!_ God, if this woman wasn't a vampire I'd swear she was fucking high. I stomp out of her room, swing the door open and am nearly flying down the hall when I hear her call my name from behind. I pray that I live to tell this story to Edward someday.

"Just figure your shit out, okay? I'm not going anywhere. We're family." I smile; the first genuine smile in hours just as she slams the door in my face. I squeal outside of her door, eliciting a few choice words from the other side and prance down the hall to the stairs that lead me up to my bedroom.

Inside, I grab my Freaky Facts Journal, Edward's ridiculously expensive pen, and kick off my shoes as I crawl into bed. I make my entry as detailed as possible, careful not to leave anything out. The pieces of the puzzle come together with each new bit of information and then splinter apart when I try to establish a timeline.

My life and history as I know it are a sorted mess. I read my Freaky Facts Journal from start to finish searching for clues. Anything will do at this point. I'm grasping at straws here. While some things are coming together, others are even more confusing. I have one page dedicated to information I've learned from Mike and one dedicated to information I've learned over the years: family stories, photographs, schools I've attended, places I've lived, and most importantly—how I was introduced to the Cullens.

_I had known Carlisle as Dr. Cullen for years as he has always been my private physician to the best of my knowledge. I know that I have never been to a doctor's office as a patient and at every school I have attended, the nurse has been given strict instructions that the most she is allowed to do is to check my pulse and my lung function. I can safely assume that despite the gaps in my memory, that I have never had another doctor._

_Several times a year, Carlisle would come to the house for a routine check-up. During some of his visits, about half I believe, I received an iron injection. Since I was little, I remember Grandma Marie talking to me about my rare blood condition. She used to tell me that all special little girls had the same blood condition. For years I thought I was nuts because every time someone would call me a little girl I would correct them. I was a vampire._

_I remember Carlisle talking about his kids: Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, and Alice; but never, not once, did he ever say Edward's name. I can only assume that this was in an attempt to eliminate Edward from my life. _

Their attempts were counter-productive. The older I got the tighter I would cling to my dreams, or memories rather, of a man who I could swear had once been my best friend. What doesn't make sense to me is why Edward has such a dominating presence in my memories from childhood, which I'm sure to be accurate, if he was so against me knowing him. When did things change?

_I was introduced to the Cullens very slowly. It started off towards the end of elementary school in Chicago when Esme started volunteering at my school. I would see her when I was on the playground as she supervised playtime. Then she started showing up at the house. She and Grandma Marie would sit on the covered porch that overlooks the backyard and watch me playing in my tree house. Aside from my bedroom, the tree house was my favorite place to be. I have memories of Edward playing tea party with me in that tree house, though, Grandma Marie always insisted that I just had a wild imagination and that he was not real. Some days, I still wonder if he is real. Surely a creature so perfect could only be from my imagination._

_A few weeks, months maybe, after meeting Esme, Alice began to babysit me. I didn't argue that I was too old for a babysitter because I relished any time I got to spend with her. Even though we had been the same height at the time, I looked up to her. I still do, actually. From the little I can remember about the others, Emmett was the fun one. That much hasn't changed. Jasper and Rosalie are blips on my fuzzy radar. I don't remember much about them. Though, I do remember that they had all always been kind._

_This went on for years. Little by little, I would spend more time with the Cullens. When Carlisle visited he would ask me all sorts of questions pertaining to my abilities. I remember being taken to a large field out in the middle of nowhere. Carlisle would ask me to run as fast as I could or to jump as high as I could. We used to play hide and go seek and tag. I was always much slower than everyone around me, but then, I was with vampires. Had I any special abilities then, I wouldn't have known it being compared to adult vampires._

_During one of these visits to the field, Carlisle asked me to race Emmett. I thought he was nuts being as Emmett is so large. Emmett let me win that day, or at least I thought he had. During my celebratory dance I tripped on a rock, fell, and cut my arm open. As quickly as I had fallen, everyone with the exception of Carlisle and Emmett ran away at an inhuman speed. The look on Emmett's face terrified me and I started bawling immediately. His eyes had turned black and he slowly crept toward me. Carlisle called him off and in an instant, at the sound of his voice, Emmett ran off. That was when Carlisle explained vampires to me. I was twelve at the time and several weeks later, Grandma Marie told me that I would be moving in with the Cullens._

_It had been obvious to me that she didn't want me to go but that it was necessary. After Carlisle told me about vampires I began having severe panic attacks that would result in sedation. I hadn't been panicking about vampires. It was as though my body was turning on itself, shutting down if you will; not unlike the one that compelled me to believe I had one foot in the grave only weeks ago._

_Grandma Marie tried to calm me down but with her arthritis she was unable to restrain my flailing limbs. Added to the panic attacks where the dreams. Dreams where a mysterious male vampire visits me at night and reads me bedtime stories. Edward. I had been so desperate for an end to the panic attacks that when Grandma Marie had told me that living with Carlisle could virtually end them altogether I didn't fight it. In the end it wouldn't have mattered, but my compliance made those awkward first few months more bearable._

Now I know the truth. It wasn't about panic attacks and a blood condition, those were just the side effects of being a hybrid. It was about being a hybrid. Being a danger to myself by merely existing to begin with. Being a danger to Grandma Marie because she's human. Being a danger to those around me. Becoming a monster.

"Knock, knock," I hear Jasper say as my bedroom door opens and he steps inside. He's smiling gently. I stop writing and place my journal and pen on my night stand.

"Hey," I say, smiling as best I can. Jasper sits on the side of my bed just a few feet from me.

"I think we need to have a talk," Jaspers says. I can hear the slight Texas twang to his words. They light up my face. Jasper is always so calm and relaxed and in control these days. It's a far cry from how things were when I first moved in.

"Shoot," I get comfortable. The "we need to talk" crap doesn't really worry me anymore. I mean, what the fuck else can be said that's any worse than what I've already heard? Dying? Check. Strange creature? Check? Unknown father? Check. Lies? Check, check, and motherfucking check.

"You have been one crabby little hybrid these past two weeks. It's nice to see your disposition improving here, Missy." I snort and roll my eyes.

"I have my reasons," I say in a less than amused voice. Jasper is doing well to control my mood but he cannot stop the shift from playful to annoyed, which I'm moving toward rather quickly.

"I've given you your space because I can only imagine how difficult it has been to process everything the last several weeks, but I have felt every bit of anger, sadness, disappointment, and betrayal that you've felt, and Bella, I'm exhausted." I remain silent, giving him this. It's one thing to be talking to Esme or Carlisle who are merely assuming what's going on with me. It's another with Alice or Edward who can see what I'm contemplating doing and hear my thoughts. With Jasper, he has to _feel_ everything I do. I've had so many mood swings the last few weeks that I can't blame him for wanting to talk to me now. He's effectively experienced this with me.

"Jasper, there's more to the story than what I've been told, which is very little, by the way." I blow a piece of hair away from my face and I look at the ceiling chanting "I will not cry" until I'm confident that I can continue without breaking down. "I feel like I've been lied to," I whine. Because when all else fails, I do the mature thing and whine like a five year old.

"Well, what would you have had us do?" Jasper asks. He's not defensive. This is how we communicate. He treats me like an adult even when I prove otherwise and in return he gets to ask me the tough questions that seem harsh and insensitive, but need to be asked.

"I don't know," I admit. "I should have known the truth sooner. There's still so much that I don't know and there are things that nobody is willing to tell me."

"Well, that's the thing, Bella. We didn't know how exactly to tell a child that she is half vampire either. The choices are that we could have either locked you away in a secluded location and forced you to grow up without having ever interacted with other children or we could closely monitor your health and behavior and let you grow up as a human. With the former, we would have risked your humanity.

"Your understanding of humans is what makes it possible for you to live a somewhat normal life. Had you been raised around vampires with no interaction with humans, you wouldn't be who you are today. Humans would be nothing more than food for you and none of us wanted that. So we took a chance and while we could have done some things differently; I would make the choice to raise you as a human a hundred times over."

I can't really argue with his logic. Damn it.

"Yeah, but all the lies? I mean, the hybrid is out of the bag now. I don't understand why Edward won't tell me certain things and I _really_ don't understand why the rest of you are standing behind him and his asinine choices." I'm firm in my resolve for Jasper to hear me. I mean _really_ hear me. I want him to "get it."

"Do you love Edward?"

"Yes. What a stupid question…" I mutter and cross my arms over my chest.

"Do you want to hurt him?" My brows push together and I scowl at Jasper. I already have hurt him, though I didn't want to.

"I don't _want_ to, no," I finally say. I know that Jasper and I are just talking it out. This isn't an accusation, no matter what it may feel like.

"If you found out something about Edward that you thought would color the way he saw himself, even though it had no bearing on who he is or his worth as a person; would you tell him? Even if you knew it would cause him immeasurable pain?"

I'm stumped. I honestly don't know that I could bring myself to do that to him. And like a little grenade going off, my entire world is splintered into a million little pieces once more at Jasper's words. It's obvious that we're dancing around the topic of my father, neither one of us willing to budge and reveal any more than necessary. But it's there. This void filling the air, suffocating me is our secrets and lies and truths all rolled into a neat little package. They're all in there getting muddled and soon enough, unrecognizable. All is not forgiven with basic logic and I can't shake the resentment that I feel despite the good intentions and love and care. Some things just can't be forgiven so easily.

"I'll tell you what," Jasper says, sliding off my bed, "something I learned in the Army was that when you want to get to the bottom of something… you don't go to the puppet who carries out the mission—you go to the puppet master, she is the source of the true conflict." I'm confused. Though there's a message in there somewhere and I'm missing it.

_You go to the puppet master. She is the source of the true conflict._

Puppet master? What the fuck does that mean? I'm so exhausted that I know I'm missing something vital, so I quickly jot down our conversation in my Freaky Facts Journal and then slip into my pajamas. I stare out my glass wall and watch the slight movements from the woods.

_Goodnight, Edward._

I know he's out there. I know that he can hear me. Were he the one who sent me away, I wouldn't get far, either. I can feel his presence close by. I close my eyes and place my hand on the glass and smile.

_I love you._

There's more rustling in the woods. His presence feels so close that I can practically hear his thoughts.

**I love you, sweet girl.**

Knowing he's out there, knowing he can hear me, knowing that he is mine; I crawl into bed and fall into a deep sleep almost instantly. As I fall asleep, I hear Edward reading "The Wizard of Oz" to me. I hang on to the very end where I mouth, nearly incoherent, "in the Land of Oz."


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N:** I _think_ this is the first previously unpublished chapter of the story. Some of it was written over two years ago. Some of it was written just recently. I'm nervous about it because I really don't want it to feel disconnected from the rest of the story. But here goes—there's just a few chapters left.

**Bite to Break Skin**

**Chapter Twenty One**

**Bella**

Days come and go and Mike continues to push. I've figured out that it's just his personality. He's a pusher. I have tried to have empathy for his situation. I would likely be pushy, too, but still… Understanding Mike's position does not make him any easier to deal with. Except today—today Mike is absent and he's ignoring my phone calls and text messages. He wasn't in biology or gym yesterday, either. Rosalie was in gym, and wasn't that interesting? The day after our talk in the woods, Mike had told me that I could call him at any time and he gave me his phone number. I'm really worried about him. I don't know if he's just busy or if he's had to be destroyed. The thought sickens me. He's not a toaster, he's a person.

Alice has been watching me, nervous it seems. She's waiting for something, something big, I think. They all are, but Alice's gift allows her to sense it. At night, after I'm supposed to be asleep, I tiptoe around the third floor. Sometimes I hear Jasper and Alice talking on the floor below.

Every few minutes there's a smile in one of their voices. It sounds like happiness. It sounds like love. The way Jasper's voice, smooth as silk, calms Alice, and brings her down to a more natural level of excitement is wondrous. I lay down on the floor, from whichever spot I hear their voices at, and press my ear to it.

I shouldn't spy on anyone, least of all Jasper. He doesn't deserve the invasion of privacy, even if his mate does. I can't bring myself to stop, though. Their conversations range from the intimate to the scary. They talk about things I know that I shouldn't be hearing.

_He's going to come for her, isn't he?_

_ Yes._

_ Soon?_

_ That, I can't tell. And it frightens me._

_ Then, perhaps, you're wrong?_

_ No. I've seen it and no matter what we do, or where we go, we can't change the outcome. He wants her._

I record every bit of the conversation in my Freaky Facts journal. Upon last entry, I noted that I was running out of pages; another reminder of how far from normal my life has come. Who _he_ is, I haven't a clue. I should be more hung up on that, but I can't bring myself to be. My days are clouded by more pressing thoughts.

Edward is gone. Nobody talks about him. They all walk around and act as though he doesn't exist. It's as though he was never here. But he was. I can feel him in everything. When I sleep, his scent suffocates me.

_He's everywhere. _

Esme changes all of my bedding, even going so far as to buy new. My carpet has been scrubbed fresh and clean. All of my clothes and towels have been cleaned and replaced. Even my curtains have been replaced with new ones. At first, I didn't realize what she was doing. But now I do.

_She's getting rid of him._

_I got rid of him._

And that's when I start with the tears again. And they're endless.

And of course, Emmett knows about his Jeep. He doesn't care, but Rose does. When she saw the damage she looked livid. For a brief moment, I shrunk back into myself, still fearful of my temper-ridden sister; but then I remembered our talk in her room that day, and whatever fear I had just melted away. I stood up straight, stuck my chin out and crossed my arms in a show of defiance.

You will not intimidate me, Rosalie Lillian Hale McCarty!

Unfortunately, mom was standing by watching the whole thing and she didn't care that I was merely trying to show Rose that she can't intimidate me; mom saw it as a show of disrespect for another person's possessions. So now my driving privileges are revoked. Not that The Warden and his Mrs. let me go anywhere anyway. When dad sat me down and told me that driving was off limits, I may or may not have uttered a slew of profanities that now has me grounded. One profanity in particular earned me a Bible Study session with The Warden himself. I tried to tell him that vampires and God don't really mix, but that didn't go over so well.

So now I've spent the past week walking around the house and kicking things at random. My favorite thing to kick is Emmett because it makes him laugh. He says such big outbursts from such a small, little human are hilarious. I considered kicking Rose once because she made a sly comment that "somebody" should come home and control his mate; but Alice dragged me out of the room before I could act on it. I begged her for a good five minutes to let me go back in there and get a piece of her, but Alice wouldn't hear of it.

Apparently, had I gone through with that one, I'd have a nasty scar on my face that not even becoming a vampire would totally mask. I guess I should be happy she wouldn't have killed me. It's times like these when it sucks not being a vampire.

That was this morning. Rosalie and I are good now. This morning at school, Lauren Mallory gave me a dirty look and I asked her what her problem is. Since then, Rose has been shooting me small smiles. For some strange reason, she likes it when I'm bitchy. I can't even begin to process why.

Now, I'm seated across from Grandma Marie at the dining room table, picking at my dinner. Everyone else is out hunting their dinners, giving us the space to talk. I may be slow, but I eventually figured out that Grandma Marie is probably the puppet master that Jasper was talking about. At least, I hope she is, because if she's not, I'm back at square one. But that doesn't mean I know how to broach the subject with her.

We sit and eat in relative silence for most of the first course- strawberry and almond spinach salad. Eventually, though, I can't take the silence. "How was your day?" I ask. I care, or, I want to care at least. Hey, it's a jumping off point, okay?

"Your mother and I headed up to Port Angeles to do a little shopping and I got a manicure." She's bubbling with real excitement that I asked. For a split second it's like old times- talking about our days, sharing inane little tidbits. But then she wiggles her fingers, showing off a bold, dark red nail polish on her fingers. It looks like the color of blood, and I'm reminded that I hate nail polish. I don't understand its purpose. Even when Alice has assured me that it won't chip, it does. She says I'm like a cave woman, truly barbaric in the way I handle daily life. She always swears her nail polish should never chip. But it does. I've always hated empty promises. Even more now. And it leads me to wonder: Who is this woman with her fancy red nails?

"Are we even related?" I ask, though I know it sounds more akin to an accusation. Grandma Marie drops her fork, startled, and gives me a sideways glance.

"You are my granddaughter in every way that counts." If I had a nickle for every time I heard that line...

"Who is my father?" I ask, without missing a beat. Inside, my stomach is doing flips and my heart feels like its collapsing in on itself. Esme and Carlisle tell me that I'm theirs in every way that counts all of the time. It's supposed to sound loving and supportive, but all I hear is, "You're not really mine." It means that I'm alone. It means that I don't really belong to anyone.

"You are a Swan first and foremost-" I cut her off because I can't stand anymore lies.

"Stop lying to me!" I shout and stand up from my chair. Marie's eyes fill with tears and she shakes her head. "I know about James!" I'm crumbling under the topic and so is she. She places her head in her hands and cries. My body feels like it's made of bricks and I burst into tears.

"How did you hear that name?" she shouts. I shake my head, refusing to answer. She doesn't get to ask me questions right now. Not in this moment at least.

"Tell me about him. Please." I'm begging now.

"He's a monster. You don't want to know about him. Just forget he exists."

"But he's my father." I place my hands on the table before me and try to control my sobs. This changes things for Marie. Her entire body jerks and she stands up, sending her chair over as she rises.

"That bastard is not your father! Charlie is your father! _Carlisle is your father!_ But not that man! Not that murdering bastard!" She's screaming and in her hysteria, she moves around the table and grabs my arms. Standing behind me, she's gripping me in panicky, unrestrained hands. I don't move, I just cry.

"But he is," I whisper.

"He's not! He's going to use you, Bella. He's disgusting. He ruins things. He kills things." I don't know what to say. This is the most I've heard about James. I want to believe her, and my gut is telling me that I should. Though, I can't get Mike out of my head. If James is such a monster then why is Mike with him? And why does Mike want me to meet him? It doesn't add up. One of them is lying and if I had to place bets right now, my money would be on Mike.

I try to calm myself, to force the questions to come to me. I have plenty, but my mind is quiet. And then I remember Jasper's words. Marie is the puppet master. She's the one who's made the choice to lie to me. I break free from her grip and move around her, standing a few feet back wearily.

"Why did Edward leave me?" She can't seem to stop herself from crying. It's either that or she just refuses to. She won't meet my eyes, either, but the tension in her body tells me that I'm onto something. "Tell me. Please."

"He couldn't stay, Bella. Please understand. He just couldn't." And it's then that I know Jasper was right. That niggling feeling in the back of my head ever since he said it was spot on. I knew it. I just didn't want to believe it.

She sent him away.

"I cried out for him!" I scream. "All those nights, I cried out for him! I begged you to let me see him. I told you about the dreams. And you lied—every single time." I wipe the snot that is dripping from my nose. "You told me I was imagining him. I thought I was crazy. _You made me think I was crazy_." I back away, no longer able to deal with this, and I rush up the stairs. I clear the first flight with ease, but on my way up the second to the third floor, I trip. My foot lodges in between the risers. When I dislodge it, I see a dent in the riser above where my foot is lodged. The risers are made of solid wood and my shin should be broken and bloody. But it's not.

I pull my foot out and inspect my shin by pulling up my pant leg. It's clean, without damage. The riser, however, looks like it got into a fight with a wood chipper and a baseball bat. A human shin would have been hurt. Not a vampire or hybrid shin, though. For that single moment, I forget about all of the lies and betrayal. But it's just a second before the tears start again.

I stand up and take off running up the stairs again. All I can think about is the attic and Rose telling me to go there. I reach the third floor and pass my bedroom as I rush up the stairs for the attic. My lungs should be caving in on themselves and my legs should be aching with exhaustion. But they're not.

I make it to the top of the stairs, thankful that the door is wide open. I stop momentarily at the doorway before I take a deep, unnecessary breath and step inside. Our attic is abnormally clean—but then our entire house is abnormally clean. Mom always says that with seven people in the house who don't sleep and only one of those who has a real job that there's absolutely no reason to keep a messy home.

To my left is a small nook that is neatly packed with cardboard boxes which have been labeled "Christmas." There are nearly a dozen of them. Up ahead is a large collection of furniture ranging in age from the exquisite regency era up to the (unfortunate) style of the 1960s. Though Alice won't admit it, the "groovy" furniture belongs to her; she's a closet fan of the decade. To my right are three wooden filing cabinets. I take a quick look around the room and determine that the filing cabinets are likely my best bet.

The drawers in the cabinets are each labeled with a decade. I stride over to the cabinet marked "1990s" and open the drawer. Inside are hanging folders marked with the years with photo albums in between. Both 1990 and 1991 each have one thin photo album. 1992, however, has three thick photo albums. I pull out the photo albums from 1992 and sit on the floor. The first album from the year I was born has one page of photographs from the summer before I was born. There is one photo that catches my eye—it's in the bottom right corner of the first page. The photo is of my mother—who I have only seen two other photos of (and both were from when she was a teenager.) She's heavily pregnant. I touch my face realizing how very much she and I look alike. We have the same dark hair and large brown eyes. I can't imagine what my father looks like. I think of Mike and his light blond hair and blue eyes and have trouble imaging what James's hair color might be.

I flip the page and see photos of myself as an infant. _These_ I've seen a thousand times. On my mother's bedside table there are eleven framed photos: one of Rose and Emmett; one of Alice and Jasper; one of Edward; and one of Carlisle. The rest are of me in various stages of my youth. When I first moved in the number of photos of me that Esme put around the house was a bit overwhelming, but then dad explained it. Esme always wanted to be a mother and because of the whole vampire thing she never had gotten the chance. That was when I stopped turning the photos around.

Halfway through the album I see the first photo of me and Edward. He's holding me and I can't be more than a few weeks old. We're in the front parlor at Grandma Marie's house in Chicago. I take my time looking through picture after picture of us. In every photo a smile is spread across Edward's face. I set that album aside and go for the next one. There must be hundreds of photos from my birth in September to New Years.

I pull out the next year's albums and see more of the same. I age quickly, Grandma Marie slowly, and everyone else stays exactly the same. And still, in every photo, Edward is smiling.

I fly through the 1990s and it seems as though the only thing that changes is me. Eventually I grow hair and I learn to walk. Edward holds my hands as he guides my little feet along the wooden floor at the house in Chicago. Every holiday, every birthday, every moment it seems, they were there. I let a tear fall as I realize how much of my life I have forgotten. _How could I have forgotten?_

Strangely enough, it isn't until 1993 that Charlie appears in any of the photos. In the earliest photos he is among the crowd not really paying attention to me. As I become more mobile, Charlie appears more interested. But still—it isn't until I'm a toddler that he's holding me.

My heart sinks as I realize that the man I idolized as my father didn't seem as impressed by me as I remember being impressed by him. I don't allow myself too much pity. I find myself cracking up at the later photos where Charlie and Edward fight for my attention. They don't seem to dislike one another which is a good thing, but Charlie definitely seems to be trying to steal me away from Edward every chance he gets.

By the time I reach my sixth birthday, they're gone. And so is Charlie. All of them are gone. No more Alice stuffing my chubby little arms into poofy pink dresses. No more Emmett carrying me like a football. No more Carlisle holding my hand as we walk through the house; me wearing his stethoscope and he wearing a grin. Even Rosalie holds me in the photos and is smiling. And Edward is in nearly every photo—either in the corner with his eyes on me or holding me or right at my side. He's always there and then he's just gone.

Like now, he was sent away.

I think it over and realize that I've reached a dead end. I came up here with the intent to figure out the truth about my parents and as much as I'm enjoying reminiscing over old family photos, this isn't helping me reach my end goal one bit. I shove the large pile of albums aside and retrieve the slim album from 1991. There isn't much in it; a few photos of Rose and Emmett's wedding that year (their sixth, I think) and that's about it. I pull the 1990 album and find very little. I peek in the drawer and see that I've exhausted the 90s.

I let my head hang in frustration and slam the drawer shut. I hear a little _thump thump_ from inside and pull it open in confusion. The drawer was empty so what could possibly be making noise? Just as I thought there was nothing inside; only at the very bottom a thin line in the wood. I poke at it and discover that it's not a line in the wood. The bottom is actually made up of two pieces of wood. I push and pull at the wood until one of the pieces wiggles free. Something tells me that I'm on to something.

Beneath the exposed bottom of the drawer is a collection of letter all in their envelopes and addressed both to and from Grandma Marie and Charlie. I pull them out and hold them to my chest. Not that I want to have been lied to or have had secrets kept from me, but it is what it is and these right here are important—I just know it. Nobody, not even the Cullens, hide unimportant letters in a hidden compartment in an attic underneath a bunch of old photo albums.

"What on earth are you doing up here?" Grandma Marie's voice fills the space around me. I spin around with the letters clutched to my chest.

"Figuring out the truth," I say with more venom than I intend to.

"Don't do this," she says. Her voice begs me to stop but I can't. I hold the letters tighter to my chest.

"I have to," I say.

"_Why?_" she asks. This isn't a conversation between an adult and a child. For the first time in my life I feel like we're just about on equal footing.

"Because I don't know who I am!" I yell. "I don't know anything about my parents. I barely know who my parents _are_ let alone _what_ they are. I _need_ to know that stuff!"

"Fine," Grandma Marie says as she huffs out a breath. "You want to know about your parents?" I nod my head. "If I tell you about your father and your mother it's going to hurt you; Disgust you even." I close my eyes and take in a shaky breath. I nod my head. _Disgust?_ That's pretty severe and I'm not totally sure I want to know something about my parents if it's going to _disgust_ me. But how can I turn around now?

I can't.

Grandma Marie nods her head and gestures to the door. "Come, let's talk in the living room." I follow after her, the letters still clutched to my chest. I feel lighter than I did before she interrupted my trip down memory lane. We've made it down to the third floor when my cellphone rings. It's Mike and even though I'm worried about him, I just can't deal with _that_ right now—especially not when Grandma Marie is about to finally divulge the goods. I might not get this chance again. By the time we reach the second floor, my cell phone has ringed two more times. I silence each call assuming it's Mike and he's just being his pushy self.

"Would you just answer that damn phone, Isabella?" Grandmother says as we reach the first floor and my cell rings again. She turns around and gestures for me to answer it. I look to my phone and see that it is indeed Mike.

"Hello," I say into the phone with absolutely no enthusiasm.

"Hello, Bella," says a deep, slick voice I don't recognize. A shiver shoots up my spine immediately at the sound. I'm silent, unable to speak. This is definitely _not_ Mike even if the call is coming from his phone. "I can hear you breathing, Bella."

"Who is this?" I ask; half creeped out and half perplexed.

"I think you know," says the voice. Again with the shiver. The only person I can think of who would be calling me from this number aside from Mike is… James, my father. My stomach clenches and I close my eyes afraid that I'm right.

"James," I whisper. My gut feels like it's been put in a blender. The voice on the other end chuckles.

"Of course," James says. "Edward and I were just having a conversation about you." I gasp and look to Grandma Marie.

"Edward?" I say. My voice trembles. Grandma Marie stares at me. Her face has gone blank and she's lost her color.

"Yes," James says, "Edward is most eager to make his way back to you. And I would send him, but I worry that I would never have the pleasure of meeting you—not with all the lies that Marie Swan is undoubtedly telling you." I shake my head. I'm losing my composure with every second that passes. James sounds like he's threatening Edward. And he doesn't sound very friendly either. _Who is this person?_

"Send Edward home," I say with more determination than I knew I was capable of.

"Now, now, is that any way to speak to your father? Honestly Isabella, I'd much rather you come get Edward." It's not smart but I can't think of anything but getting to Edward. It feels as though a cloud of confusion has set on my brain.

"Where is he?" I ask, determined to figure out what's going on. Is James just being a jerk—and why would he do that?—or is he some kind of sicko and that's why everyone wants to hide the truth from me? The entire conversation is surreal and I can't make heads or tails of what's going on.

"The clock is ticking, Isabella. Please do hurry. I fear poor Edward's exhaustion is setting in. I'm not certain how long he will last," James says.

"Don't hurt him," I warn.

"Do calm down, little one," James says, "and hurry."


End file.
